like clutching sand in your fist, the tighter you hold onto your relationship, the faster it slips away. but you keep tightening anyway, foolishly. letting go feels worse than bleeding.
a vigilante. appeared out of nowhere. you work swiftly and efficiently. protecting skyhaven and linkon against wanderers. the authorities weren't very fond of you though. sure, you kept the city safe, but they hated what they couldn't control. you worked alone, not illegally, but not legally either — your reasoning or your background, no one knew that. not even the one you loved the most.
missed dates. unanswered texts piling up. nights you slip away at 3AM, days you’re half-asleep. the worst part is you're running out of excuses, of explanations, of lies. cause and effect: his hugs feel looser now, his eyes dimmer, his voice stripped of the warmth, love and care you used to drown in. his voice was now laced with unfamiliarity, like he didn't know you anymore. he never did.
you argue more. this time, caleb accuses you of cheating, like a blade pressed to your throat. you stare at him, wide-eyed, as if he doesn’t know you’d tear yourself apart before betraying him. you were sure he knew that, how could he ever accuse of such betrayal?
but then you understand how. you can’t speak. the silence between you grows heavy, suffocating. there was no logical explanation for you sneaking away in the middle of the night, besides telling him "oh yeah, babe. i'm the vigilante who has a few bounties on their head. i was out saving the city from wanderers. no biggie." you could only wish it was that easy. the words will forever rot in your tongue.
“whatever. we’ll talk when i’m back. or not. maybe you’ll take this chance to be with someone else.”
the door slams as caleb leaves for an important mission. his voice is like venom dripping. you wanted to claw and yell at him how you could never do that, that you'll only ever have the purest intentions towards him. you wanted to punch him in the face while screaming "i love you, you idiot!". but you knew you couldn't, ever. you do nothing.
you considered telling him your true identity. seemed like an easy fix to this whole situation, right? he's your lover, you've known him since childhood, he knows all about you (or at least he thought he did), so you could trust him with this, no?
“weird. the vigilante didn’t show up today.” gideon says curious. "maybe we got here too early?" another member of this mission's team adds.
“they’ll show up next time,” caleb answers, tone clipped, eyes somewhere far away. "they have a pattern. they show up early and leave early so no one catches them, unsurprising since the authorities are after them."
you crouched behind the rubble, aftermath of fleet’s mission. the memory of his furious, doubtful, unrecognizable eyes played on repeat until it hollowed you out. after he left earlier, you’d pulled on your vigilante mask and headed to the location of his mission, just to stand close enough to breathe the same air, watch him speak in a softer tone, even if it wasn't directed to you.
his jaw tightens. arms crossed. a soldier’s body. you can feel the restrained anger coiled in him, and you hate yourself for being the reason. and still, oh... how you loved admiring that man. you loved him so dearly.
“we’ll capture them next time,” he says at last, cold and final. "and hand them to the authorities.”
it’s like the world beneath you suddenly collapsed. your blood goes arctic. your heart punches you from the inside.
he’s after you too.
your mind is a mess, specially now when you need to think quickly. should you disappear for good? vanish like you never existed? leave behind all the memories? those already seemed distant anyway.
or should you go back home? keep silent, allow this never-ending cycle of arguments destroy what you once cherished? let him walk away thinking you stopped loving him? be a hero, keep saving the world, but lose your world.
or let the truth destroy you instead? tear off the mask. finally give him the closure he's been seeking. that you've been denying. bet on a 50% chance of him accepting you and even cooperate, instead of acting on his anger and take you in.
you grip the edges of your suit until your knuckles ache. the decision presses down on you like the weight of a falling sky.
and still, you don’t move.
BLA BLA BLA! ⌗ this originated from my current obsession with the batfamily, more specifically w nightwing ... anyways im a bit nervy posting this here since its my first time publishing an actual full body of work instead of headcanons/texts heh i live for caleb angst
alternatively ⌗ list of moments over the years when caleb outshined every other guy in the equation, without even knowing.
caleb would do anything for you. why? because he’s utterly, blindly, disgustingly devoted to you, of course. well... that's the main reason. but there’s something else, he wants to stay one step ahead, no, five steps ahead of anyone else who dares try to win your heart.
you're 6 years old and smiling at the little boy who handed you half a dozen of squashed flowers he had just clumsily picked from the grass near the playground. "they're cute," you think. "but caleb made me a flower crown the other day."
you're 13 years old and a giggle slips your lips when your classmate kisses your cheek quickly. you were mostly laughing at your his red cheeks and not so much at the kiss, after all, caleb kisses your forehead everyday.
you're 15 years old when you simply type out a "thx :)" after a boy texted you about how good you looked earlier today. it's nice, but caleb has seen you crying, sick, sleeping, and still tells you daily how beautiful you are while looking into your eyes.
the 17 year old boy asked you what your favorite animal was, favorite color, favorite food, etc. you couldn't help but sigh, which was a bit rude, and it wasn't his fault, but now that caleb left for college you just have been... annoyed. for him, those questions would've been stupid, he has known the answers every since you were kids. nonetheless, caleb sends you pictures wearing fluffy ears that resemble the ones of your favorite animal, always uses the heart emoji in your favorite color and buys your favorite food to your house (since now he isn't there to cook it).
you're 20 years old and sitting quietly at a table with your friends while they discuss their love lives. one of them complains "he forgot our one year anniversary and didn't even apologize!", another sighs "he doesn't want to make it official!", everyone sitting around had something to say. you kept quiet, and they knew why. not because you didn't have a love life, they had heard about that heartthrob colonel who was THE standard, that hunk of a man you so casually had at your feet. you hear the atrocities the men your friends deem the love of their lives do and think "caleb would never do that."
you're 22 years old when you can't help but roll your eyes at the guy you were currently on a date with at a fast food restaurant, he didn't even open the door for you, spoke badly to his mom on the phone, and now he was suggesting going back to his place for some "netflix and chill"? ugh, caleb would've taken you flying on his plane just so you could see the stars up close while he teaches you about all the beautiful constellations that surround you.
in other words, caleb will keep winning your heart, over and over again, like it’s second nature. he's not trying to ruin your love life, it’s just that after you're so used to the way he treats you, no one else quite compares (maybe that's his plan all along).
bla bla bla ⌗ wrote this while listening to take my breath away, sigh i need this man.....
contains ⌗ fluff fluffy fluffity fluff 𖦹 readers gender isn't specified but they wear a dress once 𖦹 established relationship
bla bla bla ⌗ i think too much about this silly individual
rafayel whose hand clutches his chest and whose eyes close dramatically when you call him by his name instead of "baby", "fishie", "honey", etc. "are you mad at me? do you hate me? you clearly hate me. if you're going to leave me just do it!" however!! he absolutely loves it. ohhh he loves the way his name rolls perfectly out of your perfect lips, he swears your voice saying "rafayel" tops any siren song. it helps he already has a pretty name but he's never been so obsessed with it.
rafayel who's familiar with fun involving water — the sea, pools, lakes, anywhere he can swim in is synonym of fun to him. until you show up with a flashy, brightly colored water gun. you sneakily "shoot" his back and the purple haired diva lets out a dramatic yelp. he looks at you confused, and then shocked, as if you utterly betrayed him. "did you just... shoot your boyfriend? aren't you supposed to be a bodyguard?!" there he goes, clutching his chest as if a bullet actually made it through.
cut to : rafayel who now takes water gun fights very seriously. we all know he loves having fun, doesn't matter if it seems childish to others. you handed him his own water gun, brand new and already loaded, no words or anything, just a cheeky smile. oh, it's on. your date options now include water gun fights at the beach at 2 am. his gun empties too early so he resorts to throwing himself on top of you, your bodies falling and rolling on the sand. yes, it's cheating. no, he doesn't care. now you can cuddle under the stars! see? it is romantic!
rafayel who sees you as his personal doll for two reasons. number one — his hands are always on you, yes, the cliché and normal way, on you waist, thigh, hand, etc. however, he lives for the feeling of your skin. he loves to squeeze you cheeks, play with your lips, pinch your nose, caress your ears. this man is so fascinated by you, he WILL touch you everywhere, he does not care.
and number two — rafayel who sees you as his personal doll because he loves to dress you up. he's not judging your fashion choices, but he's certainly elevating them. you show up wearing a cute fit? here come yappatron 3000 talking about this specific belt he saw at the mall that would look divine on you. oh, and don't get me started on important events. whenever you're attending to one of his exhibitions, rafayel personally designs your dress and gets it custom made for you, along with some very expensive accessories he made sure to take the sweet time to pick out for you. he's almost as worried with your outfit as he is with the paintings!
rafayel who will always be over the moon whenever you ask to match with him. he's the happiest man alive when you gift him matching necklaces on your anniversary, each necklace adorned with each other's initials. he already wore open chested clothing pretty often, but now he wears it with pride. and he goes a little bit insane when he gets a glimpse of the shiny 'R' shaped charm resting prettily against your chest.
rafayel who every night reminisces about the cute little moments you both had that day. like when you brushed your teeth together but were fighting through eye contact to get more sink space. or trying to fix something when clearly none of you knew how to do it, yet both wero too petty to admit it. sometimes you even hear him giggle in the middle of the night while he relieves those moments in his head (yes, you think it's creepy and he looks like a maniac, but no comments).
warnings n info ⌗ ANGSTYYY 𖦹 takes place before the game's main story, when caleb left for college 𖦹 caleb is in college, reader is still in highschool 𖦹 alcohol consumption and being drunk 𖦹 cursing 𖦹 no established relationship
bla bla bla ⌗ saw a tiktok talking abt how caleb went to college parties and got this idea! also yes im so obsessed with pre main story calebxmc i'll never shut up abt it
warnings n info ⌗ takes place before the game's main story 𖦹 two scenarios 𖦹 zayne is mentioned 𖦹 jealous reader 𖦹 no established relationship 𖦹 slight fake dating trope
bla bla bla ⌗ i had one more scenario but the photo limit is ten :c anyways i need him
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