A Series Of Unfortunate Memes

Ash's ASOUE sideblog

[beatricebidelaire]

anyway i’m still thinking about this

lucy punch:

tony hale:

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

things i think about CONSTANTLY:

daniel handler said that everyone in a series of unfortunate events and the surrounding universe is jewish “unless stated otherwise”

the only time it could possibly have been considered “stated otherwise” is in the netflix tvv, when poe and his wife mention being the only kids in their class without b'nei mitzvahs

literally the only non-jewish characters in this series are the bankers

daniel handler is the funniest man alive

[miszmal]

no actually incorrect quotes ARE fun

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

an array of supremely unsexy happenings

[soulofthebloodofthewolf-deactiv]

a number of goings-on that just werent very cash money

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

things i think about CONSTANTLY:

daniel handler said that everyone in a series of unfortunate events and the surrounding universe is jewish “unless stated otherwise”

the only time it could possibly have been considered “stated otherwise” is in the netflix tvv, when poe and his wife mention being the only kids in their class without b'nei mitzvahs

literally the only non-jewish characters in this series are the bankers

daniel handler is the funniest man alive

[princessstolas]

Did Lemony Snicket really liked giving the exact definition of various words or was he just autistic?

[harry-does-boys]

made a series of unfortunate events quiz to feed the brain worms. enjoy :]

this is an incredibly professional analysis btw i am 100% right about everything. also this is mainly based on the netflix series. also also

ALSO i wanna know if these quizzes are actually accurate at all so tell me if im right in thr tags

[quigleyquaqmire]

[lemonysnicketblog]

The Full "I Will Love You." Letter. The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket

Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope.

I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of actors. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world’s cafeterias or what game is played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in a blurring, boring chalk. I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you no matter what your locker combination was, or how you decided to spend your time during study hall. I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if you abandon your baticeering, and I will love you if you retire from the theater to take up some other, less dangerous occupation. I will love you if you drop your raincoat on the floor instead of hanging it up and I will love you if you betray your father. I will love you even if you announce that the poetry of Edgar Guest is the best in the world and even if you announce that the work of Zilpha Keatley Snyder is unbearably tedious. I will love you if you abandon the theremin and take up the harmonica and I will love you if you donate your marmosets to the zoo and your tree frogs to M. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fetuccini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, as the tempura loves the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness in the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged print of the document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a child loves to overhear the conversations of its parents, and the parents love the sound of their own arguing voices, and as the pen loves to write down the words these voices utter in a notebook for safekeeping. I will love you as a shingle loves falling off a house on a windy day and striking a grumpy person across the chin, and as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey. I will love you as an airplane loves to fall from a clear blue sky and as an escalator loves to entangle expensive scarves in its mechanisms. I will love you as a wet paper towel loves to be crumpled into a ball and thrown at a bathroom ceiling and an eraser loves to leave dust in the hairdos of the people who talk too much. I will love you as a cufflink loves to drop from its shirt and explore the party for itself and as a pair of white gloves loves to slip delicately into the punchbowl. I will love you as a taxi loves the muddy splash of a puddle and as a library loves the patient tick of a clock. I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it. I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person’s back, and as a certain person loves to wear daggerproof tunics, and as a daggerproof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair of binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and until every home is rebuilt form the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest of policemen. I will love you until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of the V. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple, and until the apple hates a tree and the tree hates a nest, and until a bird hates a tree and an apple hates a nest, although honestly I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try. I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry – and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned. That, Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

[snckt]

who is most likely to wear a canadian tuxedo to a long awaited dinner party?

beatrice

jacques

olaf

bertrand

kit

gustav

lemony

r

earnest

frank

Voting ended onMar 11, 2023

[lesbianscieszka]

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

an array of supremely unsexy happenings

[soulofthebloodofthewolf-deactiv]

a number of goings-on that just werent very cash money

[lokiprincess]

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

[vfd-inked-kid]

VFD

Volunteer Fire Departament

[kropotkhristian-deactivated2019]

A Series of Unfortunate Events is anarchist propaganda because all of the problems are caused by both capitalist bureaucracy and a weird insistence from everybody with power that “the rules,” no matter how silly, must be followed.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

I mean, partially, yes; for sure. But Daniel Handler has also stated that the series is a direct allegory for antisemitism: 

“My father’s family fled Germany in 1938 and 1939 and some of them made it and some of them didn’t. And so, I grew up with a close-knit group of actually fairly distant relatives who were all survivors of – I mean they weren’t all survivors of camps by any means – but they were all survivors of getting out of Germany just in time. And I was fed by stories of how good behavior is not necessarily reward and bad behavior is not necessarily punished, so I think that shaped my world view.”

“I think there is something naturally Jewish about unending misery.”

[yallidarityforever]

Something just occurred to me: Count Olaf has been described as an antisemitic caricature, a take on the Smiling Merchant. If ASoUE is a story about kids escaping antisemitic violence, then Olaf is literally Handler saying “antisemitic caricatures keep following us and harassing us and no one listens when we point at him and say he’s a threat to us and those we love.” Recontextualizes a lot of the story tbth

[roach-works]

i want to point out that every single time there’s a guy (or a species of aliens, or fantasy creatures, or…) who is very ugly, and very greedy, and very dishonest, someone points at that character and says ‘hey, that’s a jew!’ and i’m increasingly tired of it.

like, is count olaf, a character written by a jewish writer about jewish kids doing their best to survive a world that finds their continued existence to be decidedly inconvenient, an antisemetic caricature? well, he’s ugly and he’s greedy, so he must be!

except, yknow what…people who feel entitled to take the lives and fortunes of jewish kids by everything from direct violence to false pretenses to forced contracts to subordination of state authority….those people tend to be…let me just look at, uh, the last couple centuries…yeah, they’re christian.

they’re pretty much all christians.

funny how no one seems to be in a hurry to suggest that mean old ugly, greedy, lying count olaf could be a stand-in for them.

[roach-works]

i’m going to double down on christmas even with a FURTHERMORE: it’s right in the fucking name! count olaf.  it’s part of his fucking name, he has a title, he clings to this title, he clings to the prestige of being a titled landowner. maybe the title is made up, but he has it, it’s the first part of his identity.

jews do not, historically, get to own their own land, hang on to fancy titles, or ascend into the ranks of the nobility, no matter how much money we have. christians get to do that. christians get to give each other titles, and ranks, and lands. and a lot of the time they do that with the money they took from dead jews.

count olaf is antisemitism’s bright mirror: not the fiction of the jewish parasite that christians scare each other with, but the unforgiving reality of the christian predator that jews are told, against all evidence to the contrary, that they must be making up.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

If anybody’s interested, I actually wrote a fairly extensive post a while back on how Count Olaf seems (at least in my opinion) to be based largely on stock villains from commedia dell’arte, rather than having anything to do with Jewish stereotypes. Obviously, these things are open to interpretation, and everyone’s viewpoint here is worth considering, but that’s always been my personal take on the matter.

[miszmal]

“I remember,” Sunny said firmly, as the Baudelaires shook their heads in wonder. Sunny was talking about an afternoon long ago, during an unusually hot autumn in the city...

My commission for @littlestsnicket as a part of @asoue-network 's fandom against hate raffle event!

[mirtocomune]

[mirtocomune]

seasonal reblog

[kitsnicket]

Too much media about smart orphans and talented orphans and orphans who have things going for them. Where are my stories about loser orphans

[kitsnicket]

We’re creating unrealistic orphan expectations

[kitsnicket]

[kitsnicket]

He’d be very mad you called him talentless if he could read this

[fanonical]

while i absolutely get why they didn’t, part of me still wants to call the asoue netflix costume designers cowards for not adapting esme’s outfit that’s just three lettuce leaves