I Just Want Someone To Touch My Butt

Yes hello I'm forever cursed to be stuck on mobile.

[gnabrie]

stuff that happened in the past decade

[thyrell]

reading this post feels like doing 90 in a 35 zone

[bryanrl]

I remember all of these but I'd never be able to guess the order it all happened 🤯

[florenceandisabellamachine-deac]

“with its billowy sleeves, embroidered bust, and ribboned shoulder straps, the sheer floor-length dress-which Welch wore with a matching underwear set-completely embodied the whimsical, fairytale aesthetic”

[thesassypigs]

The sound of a pig tip-tapping 💕

(via)

[ladylazuli97]

The "Blonde who didn't know she was on the bad guys side until she was kidnapped by her 'enemies' and began to doubt who she really was" Club

[st-just]

Who could have possibly foreseen that organizing the entire service economy around low-wage workers without sick leave or reliable access to a doctor might someday backfire. 

[wholove]

Hi hello could we please make sure that no one watches this and that it flops. Moffat can't get back on his bullshit in 2020 let's all leave him back in the 10s thank you very much.

Just a few reminders

[liminal-zone]

FUCK THIS GUY

[izbirakin]

Sevdiğim kediler

[your-url-is-problematic]

sound on!!!

[rubykgrant]

I’m workin’ on my ROAR

[catchymemes]

[twigsinthecountry]

[the-cookie-dino]

The same guy who wrote Fireflies. This is the same guy

[dragontatoes]

After being a fan for decade I can confirm that this is just what his social media is. Dude made a song for a rabbit he saw outside. Dude posted about a set of metal measuring cups that sound good when he clanks them together. You don’t want to know what he tweeted when he was on ambien

[littlemisspoltergeist]

i didn’t read the books or play the games and I still understood the Witcher timeline idk what critics r saying

[d-esmond]

TOSS A COIN TO YOUR WITCHER O VALLEY OF PLENTY O VALLEY OF PLENTY

[solidsnake]

[indiecup--fordeactivation-deact]

The answer is 1, why is everyone a delinquent?

[pernoninnoobz]

Y'all please, learn your pemdas (or bodmas or whatever you learned it as)

It's 16

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

*sigh*

Parentheses equation is 2+2, which is 4.

Now we multiply by 2 to get 4x2 which is 8

8 DIVIDED BY 8 is 1.

I have no fucking clue how you can get 16 out of this. I don’t think you’re bad at math, I think you just need glasses.

[vaporwavevocap]

It’s 1.

[kingoftartesoss]

It’s 16.

8 / 2 * (2+2) = 

8/2 * (4) = 

4*4 = 16

You do the parentheses, then you go left to right.

[vaporwavevocap]

That isn’t how this works.....

PEMDAS

8/2*(2+2) (P = Parentheses)

8/2*(4) (M = Multiply)

8/8=1 (D = Division)

@kingoftartesoss​

Use Mathpapa calculator if you still don’t believe me.

[jooshthepunished-deactivated202]

No, Riley.

M isn't in the original problem but 8÷2 still needs a resolution. You have to solve 8÷2 as-is after (2+2) no matter what.

So you're not following PEMDAS by factoring x4 into 8÷2.

It's literally this simple.

[vivairi-deactivated20190813]

I, uh, I think it’s 1, actually.

[robert-the-redhead-lover-deacti]

Plug it into a searchbar, or a scientific calculator that waits until the whole thing is input & that's the answer.

[dangerbooze]

1

[robert-the-redhead-lover-deacti]

No need.

[dangerbooze]

Everyone on this post:

[babycharmander]

@nonanalogue can you solve this for us because I swear to goodness the answer is 1 but this post is making me doubt my brains

[theinsidiousdice]

Happily!

So the problem is two-fold: first, order of operations as most people are taught it is a lie, and second, the original problem is written very ambiguously.

Let’s drill down into that first point.

PEMDAS! Parentheses, exponents, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction. Everyone’s taught to do operations in that order! Except that’s not really right. As a math teacher of mine put it, “it works for now, but you’ll find out I was lying in a few years.”

The problem is that multiplication and division are the same operation, and addition and subtraction are also the same operation. Division is really just multiplying by a fraction, and subtraction is just adding a negative. With that in mind, it doesn’t necessarily make sense to do some multiplication arbitrarily early in the problem before the rest! As a result, here’s the bottom line for that point:

Both 1 and 16 are right.

How can that be?

Well, that brings me to the second point: the expression is written very ambiguously, so as to maximize confusion! It’s also why I don’t like using the division symbol when a fraction will do just nicely.

Observe two other ways we could write this expression:

The first one resolves to 8/8, which is 1. The second resolves to 4(4), which is 16. Both are right, only because the original expression is vague.

The sad thing is that everyone hates fractions, when actually they make life so much nicer!

[d-joana-a-shippadora]

[the-a-j-universe]

I know that this stuff is why some people love math, that they see this as a puzzle to solve and its fun and whatever, but this is exactly why I hate it.

[nerdyydragon]

Basically the only way we would know what the right answer is is if it were an equation formed from a word problem—because then we would know what order to do operations in (or how) because there would only be one answer to the problem that made sense.

[thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021]

Why would anyone pick a human race in a fantasy game

[friendshipismax]

I want a fantasy game where human isn’t even an option

[overfedvenison]

Nah man, humans are the coolest

It’s one thing to fight demons if you’re from a species that lives for hundreds of years, is tied to natural magic, and births the best archers on the planet. It’s another thing entirely to do the same when your species is known to be slightly-above-average at farming.

[creepsandcrawlers]

“im regular jeff and im gonna behead tiamat and die trying”

[wizardlyghost]

thats the 2019 mood

[forcedintostarwars]

At the age of 19 Padme Amidala was the queen of a planet and had already saved her people from total crisis

At the age of 19 Anakin Skywalker was married and a general in a galaxy wide war and was considered to be one of the most powerful Jedi in history 

At the age of 19 Leia Organa was a senator in the imperial senate as well as a leader and spy for the Rebellion

At the age of 19 Luke was making vroom vroom noises with his toy planes 

I love him so much

[pianopadawan]

Reblog if you empathize with Luke

[stephendann]

At Luke’s age of 19, Uncle Owen established the longest record of holding back the tidal forces of Skywalker bullshit, besting the previous record of 22 minutes set by Obi Wan Kenobi

[gotinstarblog-deactivated201512]

[half-black-phillip]

I’m so mad because this worked

[britney2007spears]

help me roger

[telanu]

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

[luthienebonyx]

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

[riskpig]

………my friend has made me curious

[maryburgers]

help me roger

[maryburgers]

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

[zombbeans]

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

[strangenewclassrooms]

I don’t believe in these things

But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job

But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.

Roger is cute.

[sugared-violets]

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

[secondlina]

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

[cinnappo]

Reblogging myself because I reblogged this yesterday and got promoted today!

[mysweetminiaussie]

oh what the hell…lol.

[thefitally-deactivated20170430]

this is important

[virginiaunderthesun]

This anatomy test tomorrow lol

[falleninautumn]

i need a job so reblogging for good luck on audition tomorrow

[falleninautumn]

Update. THIS BLOODY FISH IS STILL WORKING! I got a call back from the job I wanted and yeah I finally got it!

[falleninautumn]

I want this magic again. Please. Help. 🙏

[iron-lady-valk-3]

Please help me Roger

[mijomii]

Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same

[mijomii]

Me: I think I don’t exist.

Therapist: Listen, you do exist, and if you didn’t, someone would have to create you because the world would be a much sadder place.

Me: Jerome, how dare you saying something so sweet when I’m dissociating.

[mijomii]

Me: Honestly, (thing that is totally fucked up for any ‘sane’ person) is normal, right?

Therapist: No.

Me: Wow.

Therapist: You’re just a fucked up bitch.

Me: I do agree with the fucked up bitch part.

Therapist: That’s a start!

[mijomii]

Me: I guess he’s still my friend?

Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, he’s not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.

Me:

Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.

Therapist: Because that’s my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because you’re way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.

Me: I don’t need that kind of call out, Jerome.

[mijomii]

Me: Hey, I brought you coffee. And croissants too, but I ate them. *puts Starbucks coffee in front of him*

Therapist: Oh that’s nice!!... Oh my name is on it!!

Me: Yeah!!

Therapist: It’s wholesome but... *very confused and silently*... How do I drink it?

[mijomii]

Me, not being able to come to my appointment and having to call him: I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I’m so so so sorr-

Therapist: I dare you to say sorry one more time. I dare you.

[mijomii]

Therapist: Hey I wanna show you this super funny image I found the other day.

Me: What-

Therapist: *turns his screen and show me THIS* 

Me: 

Me: Jerome.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You went to the gaypride?

Me: Yeah, I went.

Therapist: Was it something you enjoyed?

Me: Mh. Yeah. Sorta.

Therapist: Did you see some bears?

Me:

Me: Jerome wh-

Therapist: That’s the only term I know outside of the LGTB one, I wanted to use it. 

[mijomii]

Therapist: Are you sure you’re not becoming roommate with (name) because of pity? Kinda sacrificing yourself?

Me: No, I want it!!

Therapist: Finally, you’re not forcing yourself for the others! And you’re doing something you want! I’m proud of you!

Me: You’re more of a dad than my own father.

Therapist: That’s not very hard.

[mijomii]

Me: I always wondered, are you queer?

Therapist: I am not.

Me: Ooh.

Therapist: Or am I?

Me: Ooh!

[mijomii]

As an update, Jerome gave my appointment to someone’s else today so we were both in the waiting room, confused and he walked in, patted my head and said sorry but honestly it was hilarious.

The secretary came to tell me that Jerome actually forgot to write me down on the appointment list.

This is a 100% normal situation with Jerome as my Therapist.

[mijomii]

As an addition, more than half of my friends want Jerome to adopt me and refer to him as “Therapist dad”.

He’s aware of it and think it’s hilarious.

[mijomii]

Me, after complaining for the 25 times about my birth father: Idk if you noticed, but I’m full of anger against him.

Therapist: Oh, really, I never noticed. You know, you should turn that anger into indifference. It would help you.

Me: Unholy gods, I wish it was me.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You know, people will still love you even if you don’t offer them things all the time. You don’t have to do that.

Me: What??

[mijomii]

Therapist: Why don’t you send a mail to your psychiatrist when you have a bad mood swing?

Me: Like what? ‘Hey Joël wassup, I’ve been very suicidal lately last night I wanted to die. Hope you have rad vacations and the weed is good save some good kush for me, kissy kissy.’ ?

Therapist: Exactly.

Me: You’re as bad as me with human interactions Jerome, y’know.

[mijomii]

Me, heavily dissociating: I don’t exist-

Therapist: Can I touch you to prove you that you do?

Me: Dinner first.

Therapist:

Therapist: Damien, you moron.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You need vacations.

Me: I’m broke.

Therapist: Oh yeah.

Therapist: You still need vacations tho.

Me: Jerome, I am still broke.

[mijomii]

Me, by text: Hey, you just walk by me!

Therapist, by text: Oh sorry. I didn’t see you.

Therapist, by text: Wait. Were you at the tattoo shop?

Me, by text, totally at the tattoo shop: You have no proof.

[mijomii]

For a bit of context here: Around two months ago I went to a friend’s who happened the live on the same street as Jerome, which I didn’t know. He was really surprised to see me and came to check on me, asking me why I was here with a bit of concern on his voice. And this take place earlier this month:

Therapist: So your friend lives in the same street than I?

Me: Yes. Town’s short I guess.

Therapist: Were you really going to your friend...?

Me: Yes?? Why else would I be here?

Therapist: A lot of drug deals happen in this street and I see often teenagers and young adults coming and buy stuffs. I was a bit worried for you.

[mijomii]

Me, at 2pm: I’m sorry I’m going to be late!

Therapist: Your appointment was this morning at 11:30am, Damien.

Me:

Me: What.

[mijomii]

Jerome is still not aware of his fame and idk how to announce him.

[mijomii]

Therapist; What’s up with you and wanting domestic rats.

Me: I’m gonna get a rat and call him Jerome just to piss you off.

Therapist:

Therapist: How dare you.

[mijomii]

Therapist: Weed doesn’t do much on me and I must admit I’m kinda disappointed.

Me:

Therapist: Do you smoke?

Me: Jerome.

[bread-n-bed-n-head]

On hard days I wonder how Jerome is doing

[mijomii]

He’s doing fine, last time he shown me his fav pic of a red panda which is this one

[whatinrandamnation]

I FOUND IT I FOUND IT I FUCKING FOUND IT AAAAAAAH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME FEEL

[mijomii]

It’s really amazing how happy people get when they find this post omg

[aethera-secat]

Always reblog Jerome.

Is he now aware of his fame?

[mijomii]

After months, he is, and he just told me “Haha, this is funny. I’m happy it’s helping people!”

I think he doesn’t realize that he’s known *worldwide*

[thanksforthedeaththreats]

I think we all need Jermone in our lives

[sizvideos]

[jhameia]

tonight’s aesthetic: Cookie Monster philosophizing in an art museum

[aur-eliaa]

This just changed my life.

[kurotsuchi-sterling]

The lasagne one has opened my eyes