18, see pinned post for pronouns. Refer to to us as Bookkeeper collectively (we’re not giving out our real name and we’re not making up a new one for Tumblr)
Hello! Formerly alicethebookkeeper, now changing that name because it no longer fits. Made this blog with the intention of making friends and then immediately fell into a depression so we’re trying again!
We’re the Bookkeeper system, generally socially awkward and anxious but here to (try) and interact with people.
At least some of our system members and Endogenic and if you don’t support endogenic systems now’s your cue to leave.
Also DNI: racists, sexists, Queerphobes and bigots of every flavor.
Interests currently include Warhammer, The SCP Foundation, and the billion trillion projects we’ve started but never finished. Honestly though subject has always been secondary to having people to talk to our inbox is an open invitation to rant about whatever
System members under the cut. not giving out the name we go by in day to day life you can call us individually by our names or collectively as the bookkeeper system of bookeeper
NaN: it/its robot girl
Carmilla: she/her vampire, occasionally host
Entropy: Entropy doesn’t use pronouns, you can refer to Entropy as Entropy or shorten Ens name to En (Enself is also acceptable)
Butch: he/him women, primary host
Asriel: He/Him
Loki: any pronouns but not the ones you use instinctively, you must correct yourself at least once
So for the record because I've seen sooooo many phm posts going around using slurs. Yes, people in the intersex community are aware that hermaphrodite is used in biological contexts to mean "animal that produces both male and female gametes." Yes, it's still a slur in that context, and was adopted in biological circles from its usage as a slur. The word has been used as a slur against intersex people since at least the 14th century. It came into use in biological contexts in the 18th century. This is a word that spent 400 years being used as a slur before it was used to mean an animal that produces two types of gametes.
Yes, Eridians only have one sex. I obviously don't speak for the entire intersex community, but the terms that intersex advocates suggest using alternatively are "cosexual" or "monoecious." Both of these terms describe organisms with male and female reproductive organs, or which produce both male and female gametes. If you're in the camp where you think Eridians only produce one type of gamete, an appropriate term would be "isogamistic."
We don't use the r-slur to refer to people with intellectual disabilities, despite the fact this was the commonly accepted medical term for many, many years. It was used in medical contexts. It was used in American federal law until 2009. The language has changed. Please be kind to your fellow fandom members and use a term to refer to Eridians that does not have a history as an intersexist slur.
Being asexual and racist is embarassing as fuck. Being racist at all is obviously embarassing as fuck but the amount of racism and especially antiblackness i have been seeing from asexuals recently is obscene.
One of the only asexual activists is Yasmin Benoit, a Black woman. She has raised so much awareness for the community. She was the first asexual person to lead Pride in London, she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike movement and is THE leading voice for the community.
And you all will celebrate international asexuality day on April 6th but we wouldn't even have that if she hadn't cofounded it.
Edit: why are you all too scared to repost this. Cmon. Be vocal about being against racism
I love it when media fucks up the wording of the Rasputin disclaimer and ends up with shit like "any resemblance to people or locations living or dead is coincidental". I'd love to know what committing libel against a dead location would entail.
#Sorry what do you mean “rasputin disclaimer” (via @big-condiments-official)
For once I'm not actually doing a bit; those "any resemblance to real persons living or dead" disclaimers genuinely exist because of Rasputin.
(In brief, the 1932 MGM Studios film Rasputin and the Empress is a dramatisation of the life and times of Grigori Rasputin which is partially adapted from the personal memoirs of Felix Yusupov, one of the principal conspirators responsible for Rasputin's assassination. The film, which was heavily marketed as being based on real events, falsely claims that Rasputin fucked Yusupov's wife, Princess Irina Alexandrovna. As both Yusupov and Princess Irina were still alive at the time, they jointly sued MGM for libel – and won. This is actually, literally the reason the practice of including those disclaimers was taken up.)
Ra Ra Rasputin
Life adapted to the screen
But doing so they slandered a prince
Ra Ra Rasputin
Felix hatched a legal scheme
And MGM was thoroughly rinsed
He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.
Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.
Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.
And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?
What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.
Hey y’all, I’ve got some super exciting news I can finally talk about. I’m going to be collaborating with the Freedom of Form Foundation on some upcoming projects related to species affirming body mods!
For the time being, I can’t give a ton of details. But I’m sure y’all can imagine that a group of biologists and engineers collaborating with me on species affirming body mods is going to create some pretty spectacular things. Most importantly, open source things :)
Expanding on the vagueness a bit, we are still researching a lot of the stuff. Beyond that, we agreed that it would be best not to go public with some of these things until they’ve been thoroughly tested (and chittered at). As excited as we all are, I don’t want to hype everyone up in the event that something gets delayed or doesn’t work out initially.
Stay tuned though, I’ll be posting a guest article I wrote that was featured in the FFF monthly newsletter. I also have some very fun stories about hanging out with Zennith (the founder of the FFF) this past week.
We are a scientific organization with the vision to make safe and customizable body alterations possible. Read more about who we are.
Hey y’all, here is my guest article for the FFF newsletter! A lot of it is going over things from the Furlandia presentation, but I figured you might enjoy seeing this featured in the FFF. It’s honestly surreal how much this has all taken off.
One thing I will mention: Typically, the FFF features their newest newsletters and research on their Patreon channel. That said, we agreed to post this segment publicly a bit earlier.
If you are interested, they do have a donation/patreon page here:
As y’all know, I’ve never wanted to make money from any of the things I do. I genuinely enjoy just being able to come on here and talk about doing fun stuff with people/creatures in my community. I don’t need to get paid to do something I enjoy.
But the FFF genuinely does do some pretty awesome things with the limited funds they have. Anything they do make will be completely open source as well. Similarly, I agreed that anything I create while we collaborate will be open source.
I think this is important to mention because ultimately, none of us want to be some kind of social media influencer. We’re just a group of alterhumans researching/implementing species affirming tech.
Getting off that soapbox, they have patreon subscriptions for as little as $1 USD per month and for greater contributions, they’ll mail you some pretty awesome souvenirs.
As I mentioned in the previous post, I spent a lot of time hanging out with Zennith, the founder of the FFF, this past week. For those of you who don't know, Zennith has a PhD in biomedical science from Harvard. Before founding the FFF, they contributed extensive research to the fields of neurology and genetics. They've authored/co-authored numerous publications. They later worked in the biomedical industry developing assays for clinical trials and gained important knowledge about working in a more applied science environment.
When Zennith originally founded the FFF, they continued to work in industry as their day job. However, they recently took a significant leap of faith and are working with the FFF as their full time job. Needless to say, I was initially a bit nervous meeting them for the first time. After all, I'm just a raccoon girl from Portland.
Despite some initial nervousness, we kicked it off almost instantly. We went on lots of fun adventures throughout the week. I really enjoyed getting to show them some of the less common aspects of Portland I've learned to enjoy. I also gifted them a jar of Winco freshly ground honey roasted peanut butter. That's an important gift in raccoon diplomacy. We even had a peanut butter tea party out in the park.
We were hanging out a few nights ago and I told them how I was initially nervous to meet them. To my surprise, they told me that they were also a bit nervous to meet me, and that they looked up to me. I'd have to say that was one of the most wholesome and adorable moments of my entire life.
We both have pretty similar feelings on our roles within the alterhuman community. I get so much love and support from y'all. Likewise, Zennith has experienced that same love and support from the work they've done. But with that support comes immense internal pressure for us to put in our best work as we collaborate on these upcoming projects. After all, this is our community.
Zennith also accompanied me while I got that latest glowing scarification mod done. That was a ton of fun. Despite having immense anatomy knowledge, Zennith is very new to the body modification side of things. They had a lot of questions and absorbed a lot of information from seeing me get this procedure. Most importantly, Jer over at Valkyrie Tattoo and Piercing was super informative and happy to answer questions. That's often a real rarity in the professional body modification scene.
Ultimately, these exchanges of knowledge are what make spectacular things get done. I've learned so much from working with Zennith, and I can genuinely say they learned a decent bit of knowledge from me. I can't wait to give provide more updates on our progress. This all still feels surreal.
When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.
God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.
yall ever think about how back in the tens people used to ship rumpelstiltskin with belle from beauty and the beast on once upon a time. it was like a whole thing. reylo for disney adults
Hi, Catholic here—the only part of the holy trinity with a human body is the Son (Jesus) so yes, but also God the Father doesn’t have a human body so no, but the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are all the same being as well so yes, but all humans including women are created in the image of God so hypothetically He has everything else too. Hope this helps.
Day one of trying to resurrect my dead wife and my assistant who for some ungodly reason is the only necromancy expert that agreed to work with me keeps asking things like “where's the lucky body, so to speak” and “are we still in the clandestine promenade to the graveyard with a couple of shovels stage orr” until I snap and tell him I don't need a body for all the advanced reconstruction that I'm pioneering here and I can swear the fucker is giggling behind my back as I type this. The fucking nerve.
Day two of trying to resurrect my dead wife and my assistant keeps insisting it's “not, strictly speaking, necromancy” and I inform him if he keeps going on like that I'll kill him and bring him back to show him what real necromancy looks like, and he makes doe eyes at me and says he's my necromancy expert. I fear one of us may not survive this. Perhaps multiple times.
Day one of trying to ✨reconstruct✨ my dead wife and now that I've conceded on the front of dialectics we can finally get some work done. Maybe exact language is really important when you're a ghoul or a vampire or whatever he is but I'm pretty sure being an asshole played the biggest part in this. Anyway, I showed my assistant (henceforth referred to as The Menace) all of the material I've gathered from my wife's journals and interviews with her friends and the more responsive members of her family and maybe going through all of her browser history and how I have been mapping my findings to an experimental neural guide that I can use as basis for growing a brain (something nobody has done this precisely before, not that it's a big deal) and The Menace went “woww you sure had to do a lot of research to figure out your wife”.
I shut myself in the dungeon as a murder-prevention measure and by the time I cooled off enough to reemerge he has plugged all kinds of new data into the neural guide, data that I have already deemed useless, might I add. The Menace has currently locked himself in the dungeon. Why the actual fuck did I think it's a good idea to have a dungeon that locks from the inside.
Day two of trying to reconstruct my wife and the janky data The Menace plugged into the system seems to have, by some miracle, improved its output’s correlation with the sample data I have of my wife's preferences and ideas as they are presented in her journals by nearly 15%. The Menace still refuses to leave the dungeon even when I inform the bastard I have put away both the medical saw and my poisons kit. Highly unprofessional of him, but what could I expect. I try plugging in some of the other discarded data and correlation drops by 2%.
Day three of trying to reconstruct my wife and The Menace- well I do need them to understand who you are, don't I- has agreed to exit the dungeon on the condition that I refer to him by name, and also that he has his input in making the logs, which currently consists of him peeking over my shoulder as I type and giving even more smug comments than usual. Are you happy now, Derek? Can we finally get to work? And why wouldn't I use Tumblr it's a perfectly adequate blogging platform-
Day three of trying to reconstruct my wife, unmonitored log. Derek passed out as soon as I said we're done, so I have something akin to privacy, snoring notwithstanding. Today has been… productive, actually. Although he won't reveal his methods, he's been doing well enough consistently enough with sorting the data for the neural guide that I left that to him and switched my attention to constructing the body. If work continues at this pace we might get to prototype testing in no more than a week. Fast work. Too fast, maybe. Fuck, I don't know what I'm talking about. I should go to sleep.
…I should probably move Derek to the couch at least. If he sleeps in the chair he's bound to have a headache tomorrow.
Day four of trying to reconstruct my wife and the making of the body turned out to be trickier than I thought. Yes, yes, I know, it has been largely deemed impossible but I figured out the brass tacks easily enough, the devil’s in the details. I know the basics, I have pictures, memories, but they don't particularly detail the inside situation, do they? The deviations in textbook anatomy that make a person something like themselves. She was always fine when we were together. Well, physically at least. I don't have any x-rays or ultrasounds or the like and so I have to turn to the most dire of measures.
I have to go talk to her mother. Derek, if you're reading this, carry on with your tasks as normal. Keep the log going if I don't write tomorrow.
Day five of trying to reconstruct this guy's allegedly dead wife and. God, I do not know what to write here. The neural guide, as he likes to call his pretty janky database, is going fine. Could start growing the ol’ brain tomorrow, if he'll be around to give the go-ahead, but. Well.
Day six. I started growing the brain. I'm pretty sure he'll be mad he wasn't around for the occasion but he's bound to be mad at me anyway, so what the hell
Day eight of trying to reconstruct my dead wife and I have.. not managed to retrieve the medical information. Derek has made significant progress in the meanwhile. I suppose I'll just have to improvise.
Day ten of trying to reconstruct my wife. Taking a break. The trip has had.. an effect. I suppose I know now why she was so eager to get out of that house. Derek will provide updates if there are any.
Day eleven. The brain’s fine. Everything’s fine, except for this whole mess of a project. Janush is moping around in the dungeon and he didn't even care to ask if I am up for continuing the work after.. that. Why wouldn't I be, right? Big, strong Derek. Died before just fine Derek. I ask the brain who its father was and it says he was a musician. It is wrong. I recognize the voice.
Day eleven. I have to acknowledge the lady's capacity to turn a face and a table. Mother-in-law was.. remarkably polite. Gentle, one could say, if one was not in her basement five days prior praying for his life. And there was some logic to her words. She does have, prior experience? Making this body? Of her flesh and all that. It wouldn't be unreasonable to entrust that project to her in exchange for some mother-daughter bonding time and I don't have the resources to do this myself anyway and-
who am I kidding. She wouldn't have wanted this. If I am to drag her back from the dead I need to be honest about who I'm doing this for. What I'm doing this for. If it's worth her being trapped again.
I need to talk to Derek - I think he went to the dungeon just as mother-in-law arrived.
Somehow still day eleven of trying to reconstruct my dead wife and this fucking menace - yes I remember our agreement I don't care - drags a fucking bell tower - no I will not be thanking you for leaving the tower behind there's still a goddamn church bell in here and. Okay if that's how you want to do it let's do it. Let's type out a little q&a, shall we? Keep the record straight.
Q: How did you know there was a secret passage in the dungeon?
A: You're really stuck on that one huh? There was a draft, J. I poked around the first time I was hiding there and found where it was coming from. It's frankly embarrassing you didn't.
Q: Why did you leave?
A: Because I had a genius plan that only worked if I did it right then?
Q: Why did you leave me?
A: I was not aware you’d fancy an elopement. I was under the impression you were in the middle of becoming a happily married man again- okay okay fine put the scalpel down. Jesus Christ. I needed a distraction, it would be suspicious if we both up and left. I thought she would behave if she wasn't on her home turf, and I thought right. It worked perfectly. I am curious when you're planning to hold my celebration party.
Q: So it was all calculated?
A: Yes. My Machiavellian schemes are going very well for me, thank you for noticing.
Q: You are aware I can backread the thread, right?
A: …
Q: Your parting note didn't sound very Machiavellian to me.
A: I fail to see the question here. Yes, she's scary. I was scared. I do some of my best scheming scared.
Q: Fine then. Why the bell?
A: In my opinion it is the best material for the body.
Q: Why?
A: You didn't really bother going through the data you gathered, huh? It's the bell she and her father made together. The personal connection will aid in readjustment greatly. Second to her actual body, which we cannot get or copy, this is the best shot we have.
Q: Why are you doing this?
A: Because you're going to pay me extremely handsomely any day now?
Q: Then why were you the only one willing to help me?
A: I mean, look at this mess. Look at where we are. Holding a q&a in your basement on tumblr dot com while your frankly terrifying mother-in-law is keeping critical information hostage, your phone screen is cracked and typing is hard because the damn thing doesn't recognise my fingers half the time. There's a draft from the secret passage you apparently didn't know about. Not what most would call an ideal work environment.
Q: Then I'll ask again. Why are you here?
A: Look, believe it or not I like what I do, and I like being good at it. If I can squeeze a successful reanimation out of this I can safely consider myself the best in the business. It's professional interest. And the fact that you’ll pay me handsomely any day now doesn't hurt, either.
Day twelve. The body is ready - quick work, but my assistant assures me it is without fault. I think to ask him how he is so sure, think better of it. Maybe it'll all click into place when she's here. Who knows. I miss her. I hope I see her soon.
Commencing the unification and reanimation procedure.
Hiiii. So, I did look over your shoulder when you were logging in to write one of your logs and maybe memorise your email and password just in case, well, in case of this, I guess. I'm so alive you wouldn't believe. Your wife did go up in flames though. Again. My condolences. Your mother-in-law is probably fine? Didn't particularly bother to check. Didn't particularly bother saving our project, either, and I do feel like I owe you an explanation for that.
I wanted her to be real so badly. It would be my greatest work.
Some version of her existed since I was fifteen, perhaps before. I don't remember clearly. She was a necessary invention to keep some of myself: different mannerisms, different likes. Different laugh, all chime and no sting. My father was a bellmaker. He wanted to make music but all he made had the sound of him, and that he could not stomach, so my father was a bellmaker and his wife was a woman with whom he could share a dislike of everything he was, the common interest biding him over to his grave, and then I was left with the metal, my mother and her.
By the time I married you I knew more about her than I did about myself. I'm sorry, you had no chance. She was warm and agreeable and a good listener and she had a beautiful laugh, oh, the chimes in it. I dressed her like a doll and loved the way you looked at her, awed, small glances that caught nothing I would wish to hold. You did not question why our new house had a dungeon that locks from the inside, did not notice the hidden passage leading to the cemetery.
My father was a bellmaker: I know how metal learns to sing in careful hands. Flesh is much more pliable.
I will not bore you with the details – suffice it to say I made myself with much more care than I made her. You had ample opportunity to observe the finished work.
What I do need to tell you is what came of her.
You were right to not go looking for a body: not really much to find. Some parts I used in the transfer - it is a profoundly bad idea to transplant one’s own brain without any assistance, in case you were wondering - the rest are ash in the flower pot in your lab. I thought it’d be a nice touch. I’d love to tell you I had thoughts of coming clean then and there but I am trying to cut back on all the lying, so. You were useful enough, and nice, and I made no plans of missing you. I did not account for how much you'd miss her.
It flattered me, in a way, to see the impact of my craft. Its surprising longevity. I began to wonder whether I had misjudged her, discarded her too easily in my desire to exist. She wasn't real, sure, but who said she couldn't be, given the chance? It was all half formed doubts until I saw your posting and knew exactly what I had to do, which is to reroute all calls and emails to myself and show up a few weeks into the search, when you should have been just desperate enough to accept however. You didn't get any, by the way. Calls or emails. Shouldn't have bothered with the whole interception thing.
To my delight your data had only scraps of me in it, her making up the bulk, and most of the me-scraps you had already discarded as your lovely wife having a particularly bad day and saying things she wouldn't say, otherwise. To my surprise the thing had no chance of living.
It is hard to explain to someone who'd never worn her face: every bit of “I want to be here, I want to exist” was an error, a slip of the mask. Something I failed to separate as cleanly as I would have liked. The more void of me you rendered her the less use there was in trying. So I compromised - threw in a few of the discarded bits and watched the model confirm likeness.
I was an idiot. Probably still am, but now I am aware of at least one of my glorious fuck ups. The mask only works if it fits the face. Do you understand? No matter what he did my father's music had the sound of him.
This would be a great time to stop and walk away but. I’m not sure but what. Sure Mother did piss me off but it's not like she did anything she wouldn't do, and anyway it had nothing to do with me now. Maybe I wanted to figure out what your angle was. Maybe it was too much fun to throw dead wife introspections at you and see the wheels in your pretty head all crash into each other.
Anyway, sorry I didn't save your wife. The whole question of personhood was really getting to me and no matter if she could be her own person or was truly just a piece of me it would be unfair for her to be born trapped into the same old bullshit. Also fires make me nervous. You can think that she broke free if you want, which wouldn't be the truth but wouldn't be as much of a lie as I thought. It was fun. Lying to you less. Scary as shit at times, but fun.
You can DM me on Discord if you want to hang out or something.
"I can fix him" good for you. I need to craft a scenario in which he betters himself, to prove to myself that I can meaningfully atone despite how much of myself I see in him.
"I can make him worse" I can too but first I have to prove that there was hope for him somewhere, at some point, which he rejected. Because if there was never any hope for him, what hope is there for me?
I need to make them commit mistakes I know, to show I understand how these things happen, and can prevent them happening in myself. Meanwhile blorbo of the week is setting their whole life on fire doing this.
It's part of a package called the KIDS Act, filled with digital ID and age verification and censorship!
MAKE THOSE PHONES RING!! CALL YOUR HOUSE REPRESENTATIVES ALL WEEK
202-224-3121
i HIGHLY encourage everyone to read the bills in the KIDS Act, because you will be doing more than 95% of people who read and introduce these bills
Crucially, this is being led by a lot of Democrats. This is not just Republicans sneaking bullshit in while they have the power to simply not listen to anyone; your democratic representatives will continue to co-sponsor and speak in support of this unless they know you, their voters, do not want them to.
Just Vibing I Suppose @the-bookkeeper-system - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
