that would be my big fat ass @magicalbard - Tumblr Blog

Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

modern Snow White where instead of a magic mirror it's just an AI chatbot driving the stepmother insane because it's programmed to agree with her and confirm her fears

maidslime

mom's minion memes for real justice

i posted these originally like 9 or 10 years ago or something but I can't find them anywhere, so now you get retortured.

crabussy

crying tears of joy over this photo

birds-in-posts

Kākāpō (Strigops habroptilus)

crabussy

every time I share a photo of a kākāpō and someone goes "lol it's sirocco the one who shagged a man's head" I get so irritated because there's more than one kākāpō on earth but. after much digging. no this is literally sirocco. this IS in fact and undoubtedly the parrot that shagged some dude's head. happy birthday you crazy bachelor

kabber

theowlburrow

Video games 🎮

decompose1

real exchange i overheard between two of my bosses. ????

decompose1

why is this getting notes again everyone STOP talking about white collar & rich guy shit i am a BLUE COLLAR DYKE!!!! THIS IS A JANITORIAL COMPANY!!!! i will NOT let you make this about white collar businessmen the poors are funny too ok

the-zenith-calls

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

knives-in-the-dishwater

It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.

gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"

"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."

taavicleric

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

empathviv

Gay Winston from Overwatch: Excuse me for... being gay

brainless-moe-white-lotus

He doesn't need a fucking excuse honey that's the point of PRIDE Winston !!!!

empathviv

PROUD Gay Winston: Did somebody say... penis?

not100bees

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

senatortedcruz

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

charl0ttan

dog i gotta move like yesterday

frankiedotbiz

depressed steampunk guy: like nothing makes me happy anymore i feel like my fantastical flying contraption just ran out of coal

frankiedotbiz

do you think steam just magically comes out of nowhere im so sick of these people who dont understand steampunk it makes me want to get into my submersible bathysphere and never reemerge

thedarkqueensreblogs

Steam. Is. Water. Coal. Makes. Smoke.

frankiedotbiz

what is the coal doing to the water

dkpsyhog

Makes sense to me

no-sharks-on-the-sun

they killed him for this

random-jot

geosie

oneheadtoanother

tachyon-log

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

fishmech

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.