Untitled

The beard is magic cus it's absence deages me 5 years (or it's presence adds 5 years?), and having it gives me +3 to Authority checks among children and teens. This was more relevant when I made this account as a teen. He/him, Aro/ace

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

once my friend made a drink he called turpentine that tasted like every worst college night out rolled into one and felt like getting whacked in the head with a hammer, and I woke up in my own apartment with my phone wallet keys clothes and absolutely zero memory of the night before, and when I checked my watch I'd walked over 60k steps.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

60k steps in the middle of the night in heels for reasons entirely unknown to me. what was I doing. where did I go. where did I come from. cotton eye joe. or whatever.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

people are theorizing what happened so here's what I know:

the club we went to closed at 2am and 45kish steps were after 2am, meaning I wasn't still dancing at the club. we got there at 11:30pm. I don't know when we left.

none of us had any charges on our cards or venmos after getting into the club and none of us were missing cash

we all woke up with all our things and no injuries except some bruises (to be expected from a night out)

I woke up smelling like salt water which would make me think I'd ended up in the ocean(??) except my hair was still straight, none of my things were water damaged, and I was completely dry

from our camera rolls we know we were all together until around 4am, but not where we were because they're all too dark to see, which is fucking weird because we live in a city with tons of lights all night

I didn't wake my roommates up when coming home, managed to take out my contacts, cooked mac n cheese, and passed out on the living room floor

me and everyone else who'd been wearing heels had crazy blisters

my friend found a bunch of rocks in his pockets

two of my guy friends were wearing each other's shirts when they woke up (in their separate apartments)

we all got back to our apartments around 6am which we know for a fact because we all texted pictures of ourselves being home safe to the group chat, so being unbelievably hammered didn't stop us from having enough common sense to make sure we were all okay

if we'd been able to sherlock holmes together what happened it'd just be a funny night out but the fact we all have no fucking clue means we have conspiracy theories about it. and we don't let my friend make turpentine anymore.

[crazyneutral]

OP went dancing with the 12 dancing princesses pass it on

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

everyone go home this guy solved it

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[bludraws094]

NOT DEFENDING TUMBLR AT ALL

the animation is the philadelphia pride flag, not the progress flag. they didnt remove the trans colors

ive also seen people say that theres an alternate animation that is the trans flag

its still fucked up that theyre nuking trans women, but i just wanted to clear this up

[junie-bugie]

can't stop thinking about this

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[the-identifier]

post

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[sandersstudies]

Me: man I wish I knew more of my neighbors better

My nine-year-old neighbor: *crashes mom’s car into my yard*

Me: Be careful what you wish for I suppose

[sandersstudies]

Honestly my first draft of this post said “my neighbor’s son” and then I was like wait a second that’s functionally the same as saying “my cousin’s sister.” That’s still my cousin and that’s still my neighbor.

[sandersstudies]

Stop saying Calvin and Hobbes it’s important to me that Calvin is six and not nine.

[the-lincyclopedia]

I take it the nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle?

[sandersstudies]

The nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle after knocking the gear shift into Drive apparently by accident. Seven- and five-year-olds in the backseat. Nine-year-old knows in movies people stomp down on the thing on the floor and the car stops. He stomps. It is the gas.

[unliikelylovers]

it’s been said before and it’s not even close to the worst thing but it sucks how our current robber barons are such philistines. like these guys aren’t even building libraries or concert halls. they can’t even pretend to enjoy art, and they don’t see any value in signaling that they appreciate art

[higglety]

this current batch of the fithy-rich is BORING. They're BORING. Oh you have a yacht that's bigger than anybody else's yacht but functionally no different from one of your fancy houses? BORING. You have yet another fast car? YAWN. You ate a burger but like, a special burger? whatever. FUND AN OPERA ABOUT ANOTHER RICH GUY YOU HATE, DIPSHITS. How about you put a concert hall with your name on it in every city in the US and fund their operations for the next decade, if you're so rich????? unless you're too poor to afford that????? How many people do you, personally, directly employ, and what are their salaries? Do you pay well enough to command the loyalty and willing service of any masters of their craft? It would be so easy to win the absolute love and adoration of the masses in this climate but no, they wanna build bunkers and play politics in order to save a few more miserable nickles.

[mikkeneko]

@capriceandwhimsy reminds me of your rabbit hole about yachts

[sasha-on-the-side]

Been talking about this with friends so I present to you, the cursed spectrum of media literacy

[i-might-be-vanny]

Added a Y axis from the notes

[ros-sauce]

I'm imagining a fortune teller who's also a child so her idea of what a good fate is vs a terrible one isn't really in line with her clients at all

[ros-sauce]

Imagine u go to visit the oraclet (oracling?) and she tells u there's untold riches in your future and later it becomes very apparent that what she was predicting was you winning $20 from a lottery ticket

[ros-sauce]

She dismisses every wedding she predicts as a Terrible Fate because she thinks the kissing is cringe

[afurioushawk]

[iftadwascool]

[coffeeeandbaileys]

[makesomenoise]

Brennan did NOT expect the prompt after... 😭

➡️ Go to Dropout.tv to watch the season four finale of Make Some Noise now

The Noise Boys Hype Each Other Up - Season 4 - Dropout

Josh, Zac, and Brennan gain enlightenment and meet God.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[dewberrys-sillyblog]

god the horrible urge to vague post is eating me alive but i must

[dewberrys-sillyblog]

someone wronged me once

[liminalbeauty]

It only bothers me if I let it...

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

I’m genuinely curious, has anybody ever played through Majora’s Mask and not been stressed out like… the whole time

[blackwingguru]

what part of majora’s mask is stressful? it’s the most beautiful game in the franchise, it fixes or betters every flaw ocarina had, and the story is fun and engaging, where’s the stress?

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

[zedogica]

ok. i survived 25 years outside the international space station. who gives a shit

[biglawbear]

Technically most moss is outside the international space station

[davvvd]