neil just found out he’s immortal (his father killed him, neil came back to life, killed his father, is now panicking in a gas station bathroom)
*
the rest of the foxes know about neil and are after him, it’s a race.
(they find out through a dream + it’s how they know about each other, though andrews group and dans have not met yet)
(then there’s renee who knows everyone, recently left the foxes after an argument, they now feel bad and are after neil, so that they find renee)
*
andrew’s group (drew nicky and aaron) have arrived in neil’s area
renee’s group is right behind them (renee kevin and jean)
(kev and jean just found out they were immortal like 2 weeks ago, together :) renee went to retrieve them)
dan’s group are further away, still want to get neil before the rest do, so they’re speeding. excessively. have already had one accident on the way (seth) (he is immortal, i have not killed him off) pray for them.
(dans group is: dan matt allison seth + katelyn)
-
so neil is in a gas station bathroom and a stranger knocks on the door. neil opens it. he’s handed a plastic bag.
he thanks the stranger and closes the door in their face. washes up in the sink + gets changed etc
(u see, neil is trying Very Hard not to think about why this stranger suddenly decided to buy him clothes and soap. neil’s decided it’s just ‘people do weird things when ur attractive. even if u look like u definitely killed 8 people 15 minutes ago.’)
*
half an hour later, when neil’s dressed and clean he walks out of the bathroom. and. to his absolute Horror. the weird stranger is Still waiting for him.
neil halts. kind of scared. there’s a beat of silence.
-
stranger: oh sorry i haven’t introduced myself!— my name’s jeremy! jeremy knox :) nice to meet you.
neil stares impolitely. jeremy ignores this, then suddenly goes “oh!” making neil jump.
jeremy laughs and apologizes, then shuffles through his backpack.
he hands neil a granola bar + a grey gatorade and smiles.
neil is in love
-
so renee is trying to steal a car.
keyword: trying
jean, jumping up and down in place: oh my god oh my god oh m
kevin, whisper shouting at renee as she walks past him with a bat: you literally just beat up a fucking cop!! we can’t just—
(glass shattering) (kev and jean screaming)
-
andrew wants to look for the pretty boy and snatch him up before the trojans do. but aaron REFUSES to fucking help. out of spite.
u see the last immortal (before kev+jean) was a blonde girl (katelyn) and they found out about her through a dream, as usual.
this was around 350 years ago. aaron wanted to look for her. andrew refused.
aaron has been (extremely) petty ever since
-
andrew: nicky, you go through gas stations, public bathrooms, anything. aaron will—
aaron: im not doing shit.
andrew:
andrew: it’s been three fucking centuries. get over it.
aaron: YOURE AFTER MULTIPLE CUTE BOYS MEANWHILE YOU DIDNT EVEN LET ME—
(aaron continues yelling, nicky does his I Told You So laugh and does not help at all. andrew puts his head in his hands and groans)
-
neil is in a van. on the highway. staring at jeremy and a girl. the driver is another girl.
so. now that the granola and gatorade are finished. neil realises he’s definitely made a mistake.
jeremy has introduced the girls as laila and alvarez. he’s also explained that all of them are immortal, including neil.
neil is too busy unlocking the car door
-
renee has told andrew that she’s getting closer and is currently on the highway. andrew yells about aaron.
kevin and jean have fallen asleep on each other in the backseat.
-
the foxes are on the highway. getting closer inhumanly fast lol. seth is now sharing with matt due to him crashing his other car
there were no other casualties other than seth— he didn’t die, but got yelled at by dan. f.
-
renee sees familiar looking cars going way over the speed limit in her rearview mirror and laughs
-
alvarez is driving quietly. jeremy seems to have gotten carsick and is now sticking his head out the window. trying not to throw up. laila is all too excited, smiling brightly as she attempts at a conversation with neil.
neil. of course. is not listening.
laila then finally turn and asks jeremy if he’s alright. neil decides it’s now or never.
*
he throws the car door open and hurls himself out, breaking some limbs as he practically fucking flies down the highway.
cars barely miss neil, swerving past him. he doesn’t notice due to the fact that everything he broke is healing extremely slowly and painfully
alvarez hastily stops the van, twisting to the side of the road. cars beep and swerve past violently in the process.
laila jumps out of the van shakily, taking out a gun. she yells for neil.
neil, healing, immediately notices laila. then jeremy, who has rather embarrassingly fallen out of the van. he seems to be hurling.
neil then notices that laila has a gun. he immediately gets up, and starts running fast, ignoring his half healed leg. the direction he’s chosen is the forest right off the highway.
laila notices
she shoots neil in the head, he falls.
-
renee sees the cars gathering in the opposite direction
but can’t see much past the concrete dividers placed between lanes. she doesn’t really think much about it.
suddenly, a gunshot.
renee mutters ‘of course’ and slams the brakes. a car immediately crashes into the back of hers, sending them flying a few feet forward.
jean and kevin wake up from their sleep rather. shocked. and in pain.
kevin, bloody, is about to yell something at renee but she speed dials andrew and throws her phone at kevin
renee jumps out of the car, vaulting over the concrete divider. she runs in the direction of the van.
-
allison, who is in front of the rest of the foxes, immediately noticed renee running out of the wrecked car in the distance.
she laughs gleefully, quickly calling dan, who’s a few cars behind, telling her the rest of the foxes should definitely stop their cars.
-
so renee jumps over the barrier, running through the crowd of cars and onlookers.
she spots a woman heaving a dead redhead over one shoulder
not to be horny on main but that time when andrew minyard asked wymack to pick a number, let the opposing team score exactly that many goals, and then locked down the goal was the literal sexiest thing ever
#and this is why the ‘but they looked 18/21’ excuse is such utter bullcrap#you check#you ALWAYS check#and you NEVER get to use a young person’s appearance to justify your own inappropriate behavior
reblogging again for the tags because this holds so much value to me as a minor and i think it’s really important that y’all understand this.
When I was sixteen, my family visited Hawaii, and I had a cute new swimsuit. I was a pretty busty teen, with the vocabulary of an AP English student, and while I was out swimming, a couple of college guys started flirting with me. Nothing gross, just pleasantly casual hey-you-look-great-how-are-you-enjoying-the-beach stuff.
After a minute or two of this, one of them asked if I was there with friends, and I said no, I was with my family. “Wow, you still travel with your family?” one exclaimed. “That’s cool…”
“Well, I am sixteen,” sez me.
Reader, they blanched. They flustered, they apologized, they assured me that they’d thought I was also in college, they wished me a good vacation and they bounced. All within about a minute of realizing they’d been chatting up a minor.
I was mildly mortified at the time, but now? I look back and think, Ah, what good men. What good young men.
okay so I’m in the middle of nowhere stopped for gas in a small town in Iowa rn and my Internet is REALLY spotty so I hope this posts but
as people who have followed this blog for longer might know, sometimes I go hang out with this corn genetics lab at school, as in we meet up on friday nights to talk about corn science and stuff. once the corn genetics subject of the week is covered sometimes we go off track and start talking about other stuff. as u may imagine from a corn genetics lab, most of the members grew up on farms here in the midwest, and one night we were talking and a couple of the people started discussing an urban legend that they were taught as kids to keep them from running into their family’s cornfields and getting lost. one of those people was from Nebraska, and the other from rural minnisoda- these were isolated incidents of this urban legend happening, and all of us were deeply engrossed in this. i cannot make this shit up, this is the story:
there are wolves that live inside the corn when it’s full grown. they’re huge, and are camouflaged to hide in the fields. their breathing sounds like the misting of the irrigation systems set up over the corn in these areas for water. if they see small children in the fields, they kill and eat them.
now I’ve lived my whole life in suburban Iowa, and I can vouch that we don’t have irrigation systems like that here; our group came to the conclusion that this must be the reason that from our 7 or 8 person sample size, the corn wolves did not exist in Iowa, the largest producer of corn. I’ve never seen the corn wolves mentioned anywhere else outside that one night with the genetics lab, and it really fascinates me because as a horror/creepypasta person myself, I think it’s a great example of those strange little urban legends that never get written down on paper. the fact that it’s never appeared anywhere else in my life kind of confounds me, because it’s a really cool story. i like to go driving around rural Iowa when I’m home from college, and i always end up thinking about the corn wolves.
Fun geography time.
This isn’t an unprecedented or unusual piece of folklore, and I think there’s a notable demographic reason that this lore shows-up in the long-grass prairies of the northern Corn Belt of the U.S. This appears to be a classic telling of “Roggenwolf” folklore, a variation on the “feldgeister” concept.
Roggenwolf - or sometimes, Kornwolf - specifically refers to the German folk belief in a phantom wolf spirit which hides in tall corn fields and stalks children. Roggenwolf is one of the more popular and widely-known of the feldgeister spirits.
In German folk culture, Feldgeisters, as is probably obvious from the name, are malevolent spirits which dwell in crops and rural agricultural fields. Feldgeisters are almost always specifically associated with children; that is, they are said to target children for torment and death. They are not really associated with naturally-occurring grasslands or woodlands, but instead are distinctly related to domesticated crops. Sometimes, some rural residents will make small ritualistic offerings during harvest season as a gesture to appease the spirit. The spirit is said to be most active when crops are at their tallest.
Other variations of the crop-dwelling feldgeister include an evil pig (Roggensau); a dog that tickles children to death (Kiddelhunde); a witch-like corn-woman who kidnaps children (Roggenmuhme); and a chicken that pecks-out children’s eyes (Getreidehahn).
I would say that there are two (2!) very good reasons why feldgeister lore shows-up in some micro-regions of the Midwest, while being absent in others. Specifically, both the ethnic heritage and the ecology of a certain part of the Plains/Midwest create good conditions for replicating this European lore in North America
People familiar with the cultural geography of the American Midwest are probably well-aware of the strong ethnic Norwegian presence among rural agricultural cultures in the glaciated plains of the Red River Valley of western Minnesota, the northern half of North Dakota, and northeastern Montana. Ecologically, this landscape is glaciated prairies with pothole lakes, and often hosts much more barley than corn. Meanwhile, the Heartland region of rural Illinois and Indiana, though hosting quite a bit of heavy corn industry, isn’t too much more ethnically German than other parts of America, and much of the landscape is a mixture of Rust Belt industrial areas in-between the cornfields (so it’s not exactly desolate and creepy).
However, there is very strong ethnic German presence in the long-grass prairies southern Minnesota, South Dakota, south-central North Dakota, parts of western Wisconsin, and central Nebraska and Kansas away from the urban areas of Omaha and Kansas City. In most of this land, over 50% of the population has German ancestry. Aside from this cultural composition, this region also lends itself better to creepy, eerie stories because it is more empty and ecologically homogenous than the rest of the Great Lakes and Heartlands; this is the region where crops run uninterrupted for miles and rural dirt-roads run in empty grid networks in every direction. Though the feldgeister concept has a closer association with cornfields in Europe, the long-grass prairies (roughly centered neared Sioux Falls) host 1) heavy German influence, and 2) the most expansive crops in the country. Therefore, the region is probably ripe for a replication of spooky German lore about haunted cornfields.
Source: Me
Map 1 – Cultural Micro-Regions of the Heartland and Great Plains:
I think that this map might help to visualize where both cornfields and rural lifestyle predominate, opening the door to rural folklore. The two regions here where corn agriculture is predominant are the orange and yellow regions. The orange region, the classic “Heartland”, hosts Indiana Hoosier culture and the cornfields of Illinois and Ohio. However, the region is marked by smaller farms and a higher population density, and is not that rural compared to the plains further west; much of this region also hosts larger cities and a lot of Rust Belt industrial zones and dairy farms. The yellow region, however, is both covered in corn and quite rural, where crops can span from horizon to horizon. That’s where we would look for German folk culture.
Source: An anonymous hero cartographer who’s had their work stolen by Pinterest users
Map 2 – German Ancestry in the U.S.
This might help to visualize the places where predominant corn agriculture overlaps with German ancestry. Note that in much of central Wisconsin and central North Dakota, over 50% of people have German ancestry. But this land isn’t really dominated by corn. However, the region roughly from Fargo (on the Minnesota-North Dakota border) to Kansas City is both heavily German and dominated by corn.
—
Anyway, feldgeister lore is scary. I’d love to hear more American versions, since a lot of the scholarship on these spooky corn-wolves is based on folk culture in Germany itself, rather than the diaspora in the U.S.
Saw this post about feldgeister’s going around again, so thought I’d make a low-effort re-post for anyone interested in “Midwestern gothic” or how local ecology influences regional folklore.
Since it’s National Coming Out Day, I’d like to take the time to formally announce that I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this it was only a kiss it was only a kiss
I don’t wanna name an actual author so let’s just make one up; let’s call her ‘JK Rowling.’ So I’ll fall in love with this author’s work and I’ll ask her, ‘Can we have some happiness?’ And she’ll go, ‘No. They all end up straight or dead.’ And I go, ‘Okaaay!’ And then I go to the bathroom. Then I come out of the bathroom and I go, ‘How about a sequel?’ and she goes ‘Ha, you get one (1) weird play. Now take this shitty play that paints everyone you loved as super out of character and leaves you feeling queerbaited, go fetch!’ And I go ‘Okaaay!’ and I go over to Pottermore and go, ‘Can I have anything please?’ and they go ‘NO!’ And I go ‘Okaaay!’ And they go, ‘Everything JKR does is good because she considers herself a feminist!’ And I go ‘Nooo,’ and they go ‘SAY IT!’ and I go ‘Everything JKR does is good because she considers herself a feminist.’ And then I go over to look at the diversity and representation in Harry Potter, which is an oxymoron, and I go, ‘Can we please have an openly gay character?’ and they go ‘No! In fact, we’re not even going to mention the sexuality of the one (1) gay character we revealed to be gay post canon despite his central roll in the new movie series that we’re pushing at you! And we’re going to support a man who beat his wife instead of listening to the scores of fans who feel hurt and alienated by our decisions!’ And I go ‘Why are you doing this?!’ And they go, ‘Because we’re JK Rowling and Warner Bros, and life is a fucking nightmare!’
“Big Pharma” okay are we talking about how privatization and monetization has deeply corrupted the field of medicine or are you talking about how you think chemicals in the water are making the frogs gay
“GMOs”? Are we talking seeds that grow sterile plants and patenting genetic modifications then destroying any competition no matter how small they are? Or are we talking life saving rice with vitamin a to make sure kids don’t go blind in regions not suited for other high vit a veg? … or are we talking about your chidoodle?
Me: *gets anxiety making a phone call* Also me: *feels completely at ease and downright cheerful wandering around unfamiliar city with only vague knowledge of how to get to where I’m going*
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