GTFO

27yo, No Anon asks. Say it with your full chest.

[manicpunk98]

I got a much better PC and now have been able to mod cyberpunk. I used the Bi River mod and PHEEW is his romance hot and so fucking sweet too.

Also made me realize we really draw the shortest stick with Kerry. There is actually little beyond a few line of dialog changed when it comes to Kerry's romance compared to the friendship route with him.

Also have to agree with people that river is absolutely NOT an example of copoganda. It is, in fact, a great example of how the best cop is one who quits his job.

[manicpunk98]

For anyone curious about my modded nintendos

Add; My Anbernic RG35XXSP

For various older console games. Mainly Gameboy, but older Nintendo and Sega games work great too

[manicpunk98]

Kerry strikes me as an Animal Crossing girlie. Obsessed with the idea of my Techie V finding an old DS or Switch and modding it for Ker with every game you could think of and Kerry taking it with him everywhere, especially on tours.

The nostalgia Kerry would feel for it, and how appreciative he would be to have a bf that put so much thought into a gift like that

[manicpunk98]

2077 Kerry being retconned from a clearly closeted gay celebrity who had to hide his sexuality and internalized the homophobia a machismo of the 2020s (yes, there was serious homophobia in that era of the cyberpunk universe, upwards of lgbt activists being assassinated in the lore. Read the Rockerboy source book.) Into a bi guy who only kinda likes V for Johnny and eventually has real feelings for him. It sucks.

Had a very compelling and personal story about being an elder gay celebrity who, after decades of fighting a lot of internal shadows was starting to accept himself for who he was. The parallels of accepting himself as a Filipino man, a musician independent of Johnny, and a gay man all melded into eachother in similar ways.

His story reminded me a lot of a lot of famous musicians like Elton John who even married and had kids in order to keep up appearances. This kind of thing still happens today, Caleb Shomo being an example.

But the complaints that largely came from women who were attracted to him, and the lack of care for the character as he was written for 2077 was shafted in favor of complainers.

Before the shoehorned that photo of Louise into the game years later (it was not there for a long time) and removing Johnny's comments about kerry liking going to gay bars to lend more credence to his interest in women I guess? It was very clear the story they were trying to tell for him.

[manicpunk98]

The concept of Delamain experiencing regret after witnessing V's grief of losing Jackie in his vehicle. Maybe regret for not helping then is what made him override his protocol not to pick up passengers outside of his operational area when he picks V and Takemura up after the 'Saka ninja car chase.

Just the idea of the reason Del being broken into bits is because of the trauma he was an active presence and accidental participant in, and that close proximity to suffering is what made him more human rattles around in by brain when I do his quests.

[manicpunk98]

Im writing this as im playing, but there's also the fact that Del is *in* Vik's clinic while hes operating on them, providing diagnostics and advice. Del never leaves his car outside other than being in his cab shop. Even the Excelsior package only provides on-board medical attention. Him being in Vik's clinic is well outside of his protocols.

Vik doesnt need help either, he brushes Del off when he tries to provide advice, no one asked him to be there. I imagine he just popped up somewhere in the clinic to make sure V was okay.

His whole malfunction was because he wanted to make up with V for where he feels he failed with Jackie.

I love Del so much he is in my top 3 for fav characters in this game.

[manicpunk98]

The concept of Delamain experiencing regret after witnessing V's grief of losing Jackie in his vehicle. Maybe regret for not helping then is what made him override his protocol not to pick up passengers outside of his operational area when he picks V and Takemura up after the 'Saka ninja car chase.

Just the idea of the reason Del being broken into bits is because of the trauma he was an active presence and accidental participant in, and that close proximity to suffering is what made him more human rattles around in by brain when I do his quests.

[manicpunk98]

Wondering if the virus Johnny implants in Arasaka tower in 2023 was from Crimson Harvest. Spider Murphy says its a foreign daemon, and Johnny does go on about famers being fucked over by corps a good bit during his rant after dropping off Helman to Takemura.

Mass casualty bombings against a corp with disregard for innocent people within it is the Crimson Harvest's MO. It may also lend credence to the idea and comment Johnny made about not knowing that the bomb was going to be as bad as it was.

Spoilers for Phantom Liberty, Mr. Hands side gig:

Nele in the Roads to Redemption quest was a Crimson Harvest member and mutinies them after a mass casualty bombing she was instructed to do without being told how bad the aftermath would be. There is a ton of parallels between her and Johnny. Now Johnny is being a massive shithead throughout that quest about "doing what you need to do for the greater good" or whatever, but that is kind of a departure from now he reacts when confronted by Saburo when he's about to be copied into Mikoshi. He is regretful when the woman who is copying his engram says her husband died in the explosion. That that wasn't supposed to happen.

Then again, I think the 2077 source book or some other 2077 related lore book says that none of that even happened, and Johnny basically got sawed in half by Smasher's machine gun and it was Murphy who copied his engram. So, idk, its hard to get any truth in this game whatsoever. Everything is up for debate.

[lesbian-sweeney-todd]

What you must understand is:

1. Men are systematically privileged over women.

2. Men love to take advantage of that privilege while simultaneously denying that it exists.

3. This dynamic does not change when the men and women in question are trans.

[manicpunk98]

So no, and actually, if you want to play the "who is worse" game, then it is a matter of fact that

1) trans women are more likely to commit every form of assault than trans men. And

2) Trans men are just as, if not, more likely to experience assault short of outright murder.

Sexual assault: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10110792/

General assault:

https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/ncvs-trans-press-release/

[transmasc-theory]

I think the situation where trans men are now banned from all public bathrooms in the UK is a perfect summation of transandrophobia.

It happened in broad daylight. It was telegraphed ahead of time; TERFs were very clear they wanted trans men removed from public life entirely. Yet during the entire lead-up, and even since then, people have erased transmascs completely from the conversation, saying they weren't in danger like transfemmes are, and in fact alleging that transmascs enjoyed a measure of protection from TERFs, who allegedly just see them as confused little girls they want to protect.

And while people were busy being useful idiots and spreading TERF propaganda for them, while people were busy actively denying the threat to transmascs, TERFs made it so transmascs can be excluded from any public bathroom in the UK.

That's transandrophobia in a nutshell. Trans men don't die in the spotlight, they die in the shadows, and are told they're privileged for their quiet, out-of-sight deaths.

[manicpunk98]

I'm going to die this year.

I'm 27 years old. I'm at my limit with bottom dysphoria. And I dont want to be a going on 30 years old man without a dick.

I live in SC. A state where no trans person can realistically get bottom surgery unless theyre rich. I cannot afford to leave. I cant even get myself to work.

If nothing changes before the new year i will end it. I cannot do this anymore.

[river-grunfeld]

No one is born wanting to die from not having a surgery that wasn't even available until the last hundred years. We have 40,000 of existence as modern humans.

If transition has not helped with your dysphoria, it is time to seek out other options. I know it's hard, but take it from someone who has had bottom surgery the relief is only temporary, you are only hiding the issues which cause your pain and even if you get the surgery they will return.

There are other people who have worked through dysphoria, it takes time and effort, but it is possible. And it's better than the alternative.

[strategicdefiantchaosreigns]

Bottom surgery has a RIDICULOUS rate of medical complication. You are looking at a /lifelong/ commitment to dilation (MTF specific) and you are looking at a HIGH risk for repeated surgeries and you are looking at /constant risk of sepsis for the rest of your fucking life/ if you get bottom surgery. FTMs, meanwhile, have even worse complications to contend with from the inside out. Bottom surgery /almost always/ creates issues with the urethra as well.

There is NO COMING BACK from surgery. There is no UNDO. It is a LIFELONG commitment and tether to the medical system.

Please seek mental health help. Any way you can.

For some reason Buck Angel seems to be the ONLY PERSON talking about this reality honestly and out in the open!

[manicpunk98]

I am pushing 30 years old. I don't need a self hating, failed porn star and obvious conservative grifter to tell me how to feel. Never mind you.

Idk what buck feels about himself, nor do I care. I am perfectly aware of the potential risks and those are laughably easy to to work through compared to dysphoria. I am not new to medical procedures and the potential risks that come with all of them.

I hace already had top surgery. And it did come with the complication of losing an areola and have probably permanent numbness in places. I am okay with it. Because it, in fact, cured the dysphoria in relation to my chest.

I already have first hand experience with transitional treatments as cures for dysphoria (which is a distinctly different feeling from depression, anxiety, insecurity, etc.) I am old enough and experienced enough to tell the difference. You, candidly, are not.

You are not educated enough or experienced enough to make any relevant comments on this situation. Buck and your detrans favs are evidently not having the same experience. They cannot speak on behalf of this either.

I dont need my dick to be pretty, thats not what its for.

[strategicdefiantchaosreigns]

I'm older than you, candidly. I'm going to choose to ignore your insults and your bullshit both, because I still think you aren't catching my actual message. You've locked onto the warning part, not the conclusion.

Which is the fact that you need mental health help. Not because of all you are, but because you're literally resolving to kill yourself over it.

[manicpunk98]

*Your* age is not relevant to what I was saying. The others are correct in that you have a problem with centering yourself in an issue that has nothing to do with you. Me pointing out my age was to say that I am plenty old enough and experienced enough to parse through my emotions and am able to identify where they are coming from and their causes. It wasnt a "gotcha" to claim some kind of seniority over you. What I was saying was that you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between anxiety, depression, etc. and dysphoria because you hace not experienced it.

It's not an insult to tell you that it isnt your place to speak on an issue you have no experience or expertise on, and no interest in listing to those who do. That is just the fact of the matter. (People complain about "wokeness" being the biggest issue of the last decade, I think the biggest issue is people thinking their personal opinions carry the same amount of weight and is deserving of the same amount of respect as people who are objectively more knowledgeable than them. Lets try being humble. Lets try admitting to ourselves that we simply do not know better than others when that is evidently the case, and act accordingly.)

I'm aware I need mental health support. Again, I'm more knowledgeable on my own experience than you are (not an insult). My original post was more of a call for support from people who understand what I'm dealing with, which you are not (not an insult).

The overwhelming bulk of what you reposted had to do with fearmongering over the procedure I need. Forgive me for thinking you were just being snakish and trying to push a vulnerable person away from a surgery you dont personally like. It was a very easy mistake to make /s.

[manicpunk98]

Person I reblogged from blocked me after my last one btw. In case anyone wanted to know.

[zk-j]

“Where are the trans men in history?” See. When you're born a gender that was forcefully married off, who had to live most of their life indoors, when you had to raise children, and had a lobotomy if your family thought you were a tad too odd, it's kinda hard to come out as a trans man now ain't it.

[horce-divorce]

"Where's all the trans men in history?"

Getting misgendered in the news, if they even make it that far.

My friend Lucas Redbeard was shot last month and at first, they didnt even report his name.

An independent journalist from another state (PGH Lesbian) had to be the ones to make the connection.

I knew him on Threads, he invited us to his property once. He posted often.

I didnt find out he had died until three WEEKS later.

If thats how bad it is in the information age, imagine how many others we have missed through the years.

[busket]

saw a post like "tmras will insist joan of arc was a transmasc but not even realize that is proof that masculinity is rewarded because joan of arc is celebrated and ascended to sainthood"

and i just googled real quick,

what good is becoming a saint and being celebrated for your GIRL POWER hundreds of years posthumously if during your life you are abused and murdered by the state in one of the most gruesome and painful ways imaginable because you dressed as a man? I wouldnt call that society "rewarding masculinity" in people who are afab.

[nothorses]

Importantly, she was burned at the stake for dressing like a man.

[transfaguette]

when you’re a little girl boys will say “so if boys and girls are equal that means I get to hit you right?”

and then you grow up to be a trans man and people will say to you “oh i thought you wanted to be a man, that means you have to put up with [abusive behavior]”

and they will tell you these 2 things do not stem from the same desires of gendered punishment and control

[transfaguette]

#cis men view trans men as women they can hit without scrutiny #and cis women view trans men as men they can hit without consequences

[vashwoofs]

"ew you like men? 🤮"

yeah it's actually not all that uncommon actually. many people in this world want to date, touch, hug, kiss, hold hands, and yes, even have sex with men. even if they're men themselves.

hope you get over your homophobia soon!

[manicpunk98]

I'm going to die this year.

I'm 27 years old. I'm at my limit with bottom dysphoria. And I dont want to be a going on 30 years old man without a dick.

I live in SC. A state where no trans person can realistically get bottom surgery unless theyre rich. I cannot afford to leave. I cant even get myself to work.

If nothing changes before the new year i will end it. I cannot do this anymore.

[river-grunfeld]

No one is born wanting to die from not having a surgery that wasn't even available until the last hundred years. We have 40,000 of existence as modern humans.

If transition has not helped with your dysphoria, it is time to seek out other options. I know it's hard, but take it from someone who has had bottom surgery the relief is only temporary, you are only hiding the issues which cause your pain and even if you get the surgery they will return.

There are other people who have worked through dysphoria, it takes time and effort, but it is possible. And it's better than the alternative.

[strategicdefiantchaosreigns]

Bottom surgery has a RIDICULOUS rate of medical complication. You are looking at a /lifelong/ commitment to dilation (MTF specific) and you are looking at a HIGH risk for repeated surgeries and you are looking at /constant risk of sepsis for the rest of your fucking life/ if you get bottom surgery. FTMs, meanwhile, have even worse complications to contend with from the inside out. Bottom surgery /almost always/ creates issues with the urethra as well.

There is NO COMING BACK from surgery. There is no UNDO. It is a LIFELONG commitment and tether to the medical system.

Please seek mental health help. Any way you can.

For some reason Buck Angel seems to be the ONLY PERSON talking about this reality honestly and out in the open!

[manicpunk98]

I am pushing 30 years old. I don't need a self hating, failed porn star and obvious conservative grifter to tell me how to feel. Never mind you.

Idk what buck feels about himself, nor do I care. I am perfectly aware of the potential risks and those are laughably easy to to work through compared to dysphoria. I am not new to medical procedures and the potential risks that come with all of them.

I hace already had top surgery. And it did come with the complication of losing an areola and have probably permanent numbness in places. I am okay with it. Because it, in fact, cured the dysphoria in relation to my chest.

I already have first hand experience with transitional treatments as cures for dysphoria (which is a distinctly different feeling from depression, anxiety, insecurity, etc.) I am old enough and experienced enough to tell the difference. You, candidly, are not.

You are not educated enough or experienced enough to make any relevant comments on this situation. Buck and your detrans favs are evidently not having the same experience. They cannot speak on behalf of this either.

I dont need my dick to be pretty, thats not what its for.

[strategicdefiantchaosreigns]

I'm older than you, candidly. I'm going to choose to ignore your insults and your bullshit both, because I still think you aren't catching my actual message. You've locked onto the warning part, not the conclusion.

Which is the fact that you need mental health help. Not because of all you are, but because you're literally resolving to kill yourself over it.

[manicpunk98]

*Your* age is not relevant to what I was saying. The others are correct in that you have a problem with centering yourself in an issue that has nothing to do with you. Me pointing out my age was to say that I am plenty old enough and experienced enough to parse through my emotions and am able to identify where they are coming from and their causes. It wasnt a "gotcha" to claim some kind of seniority over you. What I was saying was that you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between anxiety, depression, etc. and dysphoria because you hace not experienced it.

It's not an insult to tell you that it isnt your place to speak on an issue you have no experience or expertise on, and no interest in listing to those who do. That is just the fact of the matter. (People complain about "wokeness" being the biggest issue of the last decade, I think the biggest issue is people thinking their personal opinions carry the same amount of weight and is deserving of the same amount of respect as people who are objectively more knowledgeable than them. Lets try being humble. Lets try admitting to ourselves that we simply do not know better than others when that is evidently the case, and act accordingly.)

I'm aware I need mental health support. Again, I'm more knowledgeable on my own experience than you are (not an insult). My original post was more of a call for support from people who understand what I'm dealing with, which you are not (not an insult).

The overwhelming bulk of what you reposted had to do with fearmongering over the procedure I need. Forgive me for thinking you were just being snakish and trying to push a vulnerable person away from a surgery you dont personally like. It was a very easy mistake to make /s.

[manicpunk98]

Wild of terfs to try to take advantage of me while i was in an extremely vulnerable state. Very culty. It made me feel worse at first but now im being driven by something beautiful.

I am an extremely spiteful person and I will live until I get bottom surgery at least just to piss off as many terfs as possible.

Maybe one day they'll be blessed to suck my fat ugly cock <3

[manicpunk98]

I'm going to die this year.

I'm 27 years old. I'm at my limit with bottom dysphoria. And I dont want to be a going on 30 years old man without a dick.

I live in SC. A state where no trans person can realistically get bottom surgery unless theyre rich. I cannot afford to leave. I cant even get myself to work.

If nothing changes before the new year i will end it. I cannot do this anymore.

[river-grunfeld]

No one is born wanting to die from not having a surgery that wasn't even available until the last hundred years. We have 40,000 of existence as modern humans.

If transition has not helped with your dysphoria, it is time to seek out other options. I know it's hard, but take it from someone who has had bottom surgery the relief is only temporary, you are only hiding the issues which cause your pain and even if you get the surgery they will return.

There are other people who have worked through dysphoria, it takes time and effort, but it is possible. And it's better than the alternative.

[strategicdefiantchaosreigns]

Bottom surgery has a RIDICULOUS rate of medical complication. You are looking at a /lifelong/ commitment to dilation (MTF specific) and you are looking at a HIGH risk for repeated surgeries and you are looking at /constant risk of sepsis for the rest of your fucking life/ if you get bottom surgery. FTMs, meanwhile, have even worse complications to contend with from the inside out. Bottom surgery /almost always/ creates issues with the urethra as well.

There is NO COMING BACK from surgery. There is no UNDO. It is a LIFELONG commitment and tether to the medical system.

Please seek mental health help. Any way you can.

For some reason Buck Angel seems to be the ONLY PERSON talking about this reality honestly and out in the open!

[manicpunk98]

I am pushing 30 years old. I don't need a self hating, failed porn star and obvious conservative grifter to tell me how to feel. Never mind you.

Idk what buck feels about himself, nor do I care. I am perfectly aware of the potential risks and those are laughably easy to to work through compared to dysphoria. I am not new to medical procedures and the potential risks that come with all of them.

I hace already had top surgery. And it did come with the complication of losing an areola and have probably permanent numbness in places. I am okay with it. Because it, in fact, cured the dysphoria in relation to my chest.

I already have first hand experience with transitional treatments as cures for dysphoria (which is a distinctly different feeling from depression, anxiety, insecurity, etc.) I am old enough and experienced enough to tell the difference. You, candidly, are not.

You are not educated enough or experienced enough to make any relevant comments on this situation. Buck and your detrans favs are evidently not having the same experience. They cannot speak on behalf of this either.

I dont need my dick to be pretty, thats not what its for.