fuck it, I AM gonna write a goddamn dissertation on the bdsm overtones (under negotiated though they may be!) that are rampant in the hollanov relationship and why they’re so important.
please note this is based on the show only at this time, though I may have a new dissertation once I read the books!
so, first and foremost, the normalization of kink is something so goddamn important to me. it isn’t some big scary thing that only super weird people do, it’s just… a thing. so yeah; the fact that there’s even a hint of that in this show that is already pushing the envelope in so many ways is beautiful and thank you jacob tierney.
but yes, LET’S TALK ABOUT THE DOM/SUB OF IT ALL!
from the beginning, ilya is leading. it’s familiarity, for one thing; he’s the one with more experience, and he’s a lot more shameless about what he wants, despite the fact that he needs to keep it just as much a secret as shane does. but beyond that, he gives orders in a way that’s almost caretaker-like from the get-go. literally before they ever hook up, he’s there telling shane to drink more water. he continues the trend of caretaker during their sexual relationship - the check-ins to make sure shane is okay with things, the questions about what he wants, what he’s done before. he’s invested in making sure things are good for his partner, which directly contradicts the fuckboi persona he tries to give off. he’s still a total smartass, because he’s trying to maintain distance from any emotional entanglement, but the caretaking is sincere, genuine.
ilya is used to taking care of people. he’s supporting his family. he’s trying to figure out what’s happening with his father’s illness even when he’s not in the country. we don’t get a ton of him as a team captain, but it seems like he takes care of his teammates as well. this is because his entire self-worth has become directly tied to what he can do for other people. so he has to be the one making sure the situation is good, because if he’s not doing well, he’s not worth it. he thinks no one would want him if he’s not maintaining that persona, that control.
with shane, though, there’s another layer to it. ilya’s entire life is spent basically in service to others, controlled by others, so even as a top, he’s basically service-topping. but here comes shane, who takes ilya’s cocky orders that he uses to give himself a frame to work within and to maintain that all-important emotional distance — and he fully gives himself over to them. he is so goddamn willing to follow ilya’s lead because he wants to.
shane is the opposite of ilya. he keeps himself in control all the time; he has to maintain perfection for his team, for his brand deals, for his family. he doesn’t really have pursuits that allow him to relinquish control, so when he does, he fucking relishes in it. because despite a complete and utter lack of negotiation, there is always the inherent acknowledgment that if shane says he doesn’t like or want something, ilya will stop. instantly. he can trust ilya enough to let him be in control.
and ilya can then actually relish having control for once, not because he’s just serving a purpose but because they’re both fucking enjoying it. and as they continue on and he realizes that shane wants him for more than just that outward projection of a persona, he can transition from cocky fuckboi top to caretaker top to goofy, yearning-ass motherfucker who is so insanely in love that he just adores seeing shane absolutely melt for him, so he’s gonna keep making that happen.
and shane also is clearly very sub-leaning because this is the one place in his life he can just focus on what he wants, and what he wants is pretty much ilya’s dick about 900% of the time. touch starved? this man has been in a touch DROUGHT. he’s so obsessed every time ilya touches him, and he drops right into that headspace of following his lead.
there’s also a comfort in submission for him because yeah, he can get told exactly what ilya wants, what will make him happy, and can follow that recipe and get results. that is reassuring for the neurodivergent brain, that’s for damn sure.
anyway; ilya has strong service top/dom vibes, but is growing into more of a comfort and actual enjoyment of the roles for their own sake; shane ‘I prefer being the hole to the peg’ hollander embraces submission so goddamn fully because it makes him happy, which then also bolsters ilya’s enjoyment of the dynamic. they are both offering some level of control to the other in different ways, and it’s absolutely delightful.
AND THEN THERE’S SCOTT AND KIP BEING SWITCH-FOR-SWITCH BECAUSE THEY ARE BOTH WELL AWARE THEY ARE GAY AND ENAMORED JUST COMING AT IT FROM TWO DIFFERENT SIDES
thank you; this has been my ted talk. 🤣
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