The Fantastic Imaginarium of...Matt

29-Male-California Computers,books,videogames,music. Not in that order. Or really any order. Type 1 Diabetic.

[stargirldotcom]

be careful going for walks this september. the air might smell like recess in second grade and you might get sick to your stomach with melancholia

[evviejo]

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - S3E12 The High Ground

[wormsermonizer]

ive heard of em

[oneheadtoanother]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Sourdough bread is now a communist psyop apparently. Knew I liked it for a reason!

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[swarnpert]

my favorite thing is to say "investing in" instead of "buying"

[amazoogle]

just closed on a big deal with a major grocery chain vis-a-vis the procurement of some fresh strawberries

[kindlygoblin]

[trees-waiting]

when they say “you’re hot” but kafka said “you’re the knife I turn inside myself” like do better

[frociaggina97]

"i don't care if they make their whole way though uni with chatgpt" i think you guys are so internetpilled that you have forgotten there are actual jobs out there that require people to know what they are doing in any way possible or else people die

[frociaggina97]

i know a lot of people study just to get paid well but girl this is engineering be for fucking real take this seriously

[moveslikekeithrichards]

working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like “me’s go bathroom?”

[moveslikekeithrichards]

other thrilling destructions of my vocabulary:

the kid who replaced his hard G sounds with soft ones, leaving me incapable of thinking of glasses as anything other than jlasses

kid who would holler "DID" any time she finished her work no matter how many times we told her to just raise her hand

kid who began her scary stories with "once a time" and her friend who began his with "paw time"

middle schooler i had during student teaching who pronounced magritte as "mah-gritty"

the kid who said "i got boogies comin out my nose" while sobbing and the kid who said "theres his puddle of cry" while describing a drawing, both of whom i think of when im crying

kid who said that if he was 80 he would get big and turn grandpa

kid who, for no reason in particular, would just say "like a little feet" as a standalone phrase in relation to nothing

edit how could i forget. the kid who got sneezed on and angrily said "whyd you blessyou on me"

[rekall]

My lights are dim but I still work :)

[hymnostic]

anyway can we talk about andy samberg's reaction to portrait of a lady on fire

[nohoperadio]

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

OP I want you to know I think of this post every single time I have to wash a spoon.

[servaltherium]

i dont hate shipping i just think a lot of you people maybe like shipping too much

[servaltherium]

its ok. you can engage in a fandom without shipping. its ok. there are other things you can do. not everything needs to be about romance and characters being cute and kissing

[her-butchship-holly]

“you can engage in a fandom without shipping 🤓 🤓🤓” ok and?? I don’t want to. I’m perfectly happy with everything being about romance and characters being cute and kissing

[servaltherium]

i was being too lenient before i have now decided no one is allowed to ship anything. in fact nobody is allowed to like eachother romance is banned in my beautiful world #hatred #ihatelove #mybeautifulworld #imalwaysright 😇

[adonischildsupportcase]

[fieldexplores]

A Man of Few Words

[valtharr]

[omtai]

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

[macklesufficient]