Maybe in my Dreams I'll be Happy

This is just a place for me to vent. I'm dealing with my depression in my own way.

[penandinkprincess]

"would you like our ai-powered assistant to help you pick a tea?"

i'd sooner put empty tins in front of my cat and let which one she hits with her paw inform my opinion

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

This is a correct and valid way of decision making

[garbage-empress]

Something the AI text boom has made me realize is that "no information" is significantly better than "wrong information."

I just saw Doordash AI describe a gallon of blue cheese dressing as a "sweet and refreshing beverage concentrate."

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

[carniekisses]

Your dislike or phobia for certain animals never outweights the animal's right to exist and live, i keep running into this behavior and i don't know why some folks never got to learn that. Who do you think you are

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

Me: *sends load list for tomorrow*

Person assigning drivers: We could use some more

Me: Sucks to be you, dude. That's all I got.

[sevdahalma]

when I say “Let me ask my husband”, one (or both) of these things is taking place:

1. I am in a loving, happy relationship where we value and respect each other’s opinion

2. I am using this as an excuse to get out of something I don’t want to do (sorry habibi)

what is not happening here: I am being oppressed

[oatmonger-deactivated20260529]

3. Brother I Have No Idea What Is Happening Let Me Consult My Trusted Advisor

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

4. I do not want to make this decision and am forcing it upon the other in this relationship

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

Y'all tonight's gonna be lit

[x-buba-xx-deactivated20250830]

I usually don't write here, but I have a favor to ask. My cat Pretzel 🥨 is very sick, and I can't afford his medical bills. He has a lung infection and eye cancer. I would appreciate any help—money, kind words, anything at all. ❤️🥺

Support Buba

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

What if we started describing missing people like we do missing pets?

"Answers to Beth. Very timid. Do Not Approach, WILL RUN AWAY. If seen call 9**-***-****."

[penandinkprincess]

having a stern talking-to with my cat about pulling creepy shit like jumping up on my sink to stand and just look at herself in the mirror with both paws on the glass because while i have long made jokes about her secretly being a witch trapped as a cat, that was WILDLY unsettling to see in the corner of my eye as i walked past

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

please stop forgiving my sins I worked so hard on those

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

“your sins have been forgiven my child” bitch do u know how much PLANNING–

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

“your soul will be accepted into the kingdom of–” I DON’T WANNA GO! BITCH PUT ME BACK

[findrahil]

same energy as the “i think it would be very therapeutic if god tried to pick me up and i bit their hands and scuttled away” post

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the sheer Be Gay Do Crimes Energy of these tags:

#my sins were cleared by the pope in 2018 #so I’ve had to sin extra to make up for that

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#Jesus forgave my sins and now the devil is asking about the gap in my resume

[marinella-ela]

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

If it is calcium, could we not extrude it?

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

Last night I had a dream where I was at an amusement park with my family who I haven't seen in years. I kept having to explain that I hate rides because I hate the feeling of falling. Then we were sitting at a show and some last gave me a balloon crown, which I hated because I have a phobia of balloons, so I had to explain that to everybody. Then there was some guy there, I know he wasn't American, but he was super happy and hyper and talked a lot. I ended up telling him he needed to chill the fuck out because this was America and we just didn't act like that here, and he was being too happy. I ended up going inside and I went to this dresser, which apparently I had at this amusement park and started putting away my clothes, but my bra was in a different drawer than I had originally put it in so someone had been going through my clothes.

That's when my husband woke me up because I slept through three of my alarms and was almost late for work.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

…THEY’RE CALLED T-SHIRTS BECAUSE THEY RESEMBLE THE LETTER T

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

also they were originally a form of underwear and I think that’s nifty!

[shroompuff1]

GAUD THIS HAS LONG BEEN COMMON KNOLEDGE

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I don’t know what the fuck counts as common knowledge!!! for years I thought everyone knew that lobsters have teeth in their stomachs & blood can be used as an egg substitute. my perspective is slightly skewy!

[perniciousprophet]

How much blood contitutes one egg?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

¼ cup of blood can be substituted for one medium sized egg

[venomaximus]

There are 37.2 trillion cells in the human body and this post put all of my cells in attack mode

[gigglepuffpixie]

does it have to be wet blood? because dried blood is more shelf stable

i actually have a similar question regarding the infamous “virgin blood.” honestly, the dry stuff is just so much easier to work with

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

my thought process is that if milk can be powdered, blood probably can be too seeing as mammal milk is just filtered blood

[acethememelorde]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#breast milk is actually called white blood by some people

milk is mostly made out of white blood cells, we should absolutely just refer to it as White Blood

[nimblermortal]

Do I Need To Pull Out The Perpetual Lactation Story?

[lemon-badgeress]

…yeeeeees? yes.

[nimblermortal]

This is a summary of a branch of medieval theology.

As we all know, women are responsible for original sin, as a result of which mankind was cast from the Garden of Eden and women were cursed with painful childbirth. In addition women have periods, which are the sign of original sin.

Problem: The Virgin Mary was perfect. Can’t have been cursed with original sin. No periods.

Question: Where does the blood go?

For all our wonderful theories about spontaneous generation and phlogiston, we do believe in some form of conservation of matter. If women have all this extra blood all the time, you can’t just have one wandering around with it building up inside her. It’s gotta go somewhere!

Well, we figured it out in the end. You see, as we all know not least from reading the above post, milk is just boiled blood. So for Mary, the blood just sort of condensed and she was in a state of perpetual lactation.

This led to things like a particular saint (it’s Bernard) having a vision of the Madonna appearing before him and squirting her breast milk into his mouth, to apply either wisdom or a cure for an eye infection, which has delightfully been depicted in several works of art.

[lemon-badgeress]

may i change my answer

[kittydesade]

no

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

MOTHER MARY’S MIRACLE MILKERS

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

My husband has this off the wall theory that's become a running joke that breast milk will cure my hearing loss

[pukicho]

Do you think lemon/lemonade is an adequate name for a grey kitten

No. Name that fucker The Smoke .

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

Mine is named Simon. Simon Simian Simone. He's a disaster menace and I love him.

[maybeinmydreamsilbehappy]

Texting my husband "Excuse me, sir. Do you have any Grey Poupon?" from my work phone because he doesn't have that number saved and will have no idea who I am.