a journal of paranoia

A man made anxious by fear, exhausted by relentless nightmares. He hides from a shadow, waiting to die yet hoping to live. [ Independent RP blog for Daniel from Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Slight AU where Daniel is living in Brennenburg Castle but hasn't tortured/killed anybody. Basically stuck in a timeframe where the Shadow is a threat but hasn't reached Brennenburg. ]

[mayfairian-blog]

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[wanderer-clem]

Clementine seemed to lighten up at the mentioning of his books, and even the castles own reserve as well. It had been far too long since she had the leisure to lay around and stare at worded pages for hours, but after her world fell apart and the undead had come and taken over everything… Well, it makes you put a lot of other things before reading, that was for sure.

Still, she wondered why all he supposedly did was read and drink tea. Surely there were other things this huge of a castle could offer, right? Though listening to him go on about being waited on hand and foot, made her glance around their surroundings one more time. Other people? Clementine had definately not spotted another person inside since she got gotten here, besides Daniel of course. This puzzled the young girl quite a bit, and she stared back up at him with a very questionable look on her face.

“If there are other people around here like you say… Then where are they, Mister Daniel? I haven’t seen anyone else but you around here..” Brown eyes seem to bore into his own, before she dropped her gaze and glanced back down at the shadowy hallway nearby.

”..Don’t you think it’s a bit odd? It’s really quiet here..” And as if to emphasize her point, Clementine went silent so the sounds of the castle could be heard mroe clearly.. Except, there was nothing save for their breathing.

[mayfairian-blog]

His face returned to its normal expression, his previous tiny smile gone. "There are the servants," he said. "But even if you found one, they would not speak to you." Not that he had many run-ins with Alexander's servants. They worked like wayward purpose driven ghosts in a way. Working silently and without being seen. The few times he had encountered one, which were instances he could count on only one hand, they never would talk to him no matter what he said or did. After a while, he had stopped actively looking for them. But he knew they were still within the castle, walking about and tending to his most basic needs when he wasn't looking. Oftentimes, Daniel pondered over how they spent their days when they weren't making sure he was being cared for.

They were probably down in the lower levels for all he knew. They were Alexander's servants after all. He required them more than Daniel did, and hopefully were helping in keeping him save.

He sometimes toyed with the idea of going down to the deeper parts of Brennenburg whilst standing in front of the castle's ornate elevator. Had he been a more disrespectful man, he might have done it long ago, sneaked about like a thief and trespassed where he wasn't welcome. And despite his burning curiosity, he refrained, not wishing to anger Alexander by not following his instructions.

"It's always quiet in Brennenburg." The quiet, while sometimes unnerving, had turned into a trait he'd become accustomed to. "I'd be surprised if it were to ever become noisy. Don't let it bother you. It's normal, I assure you."

[mayfairian-blog]

outofoil; This is a very strange thing to post at 3am but must write down things.

Earlier I was reading through the loading screen notes and one in particular got me thinking about this little AU of mine.

It made me think like, "Wow. Alexander could have just left Daniel's ass alone in Brennenburg and that's why he doesn't see him anymore." Which could work with what I'm going with since the Shadow is all not quite after Daniel but is still a problem. Alexander could be just gone.

The only problem with this is that Daniel would probably starve to death. Because sometimes he's dumb and still wouldn't risk going outside even for food. To him it'd be like 'take one step outside, and you're dead sooner rather than later.'

Other than that, I can only imagine what sort of desperate antics he'd get up to.

[alaire-morreaux]

[mayfairian-blog]

outofoil; This is so ridic.

If I find another blog that hasn't been active for more than a month I will crey.

Because seriously I envisioned this blog as being active as shit bUT I CAN'T FIND ANYONE TO FOLLOW NO MATTER HOW MUCH I SEARCH.

sobs blood

[fuck-yeah-amnesia-deactivated20]

beckoning by ~chesireusagi

[mayfairian-blog]

outofoil; You know, one of the hardest things about rping Daniel in this particular timeframe of mine is trying to figure out what pieces of information he should know.

Like about Brennenburg's history or about those soldiers who got lost during the Thirty Years' War. It's very unclear, or rather not even said, if he actually learned anything about either before drinking the amnesia potion. I know the whole scattered notes thing is just for story purposes, but if we entertain the idea that there are actually pieces of paper detailing all these things just scattered about the castle for anyone to see, it's very strange for Alexander or whoever to just leave them sitting around. Daniel's diary is a different matter since those were purposely thrown about everywhere but it's hard to say the same about these notes.

Then again, if I wanted my Daniel to know these things, I would have to stick to the notes in the areas he's allowed in, which is like up to the areas in the main hall. And even then there's certain pieces of information he can't know if he's to remain unsuspecting of Alexander's intentions and deeds like I want him to be.

Being AU is hard.

[glowsticksandtinderboxes]

[mayfairian-blog]

✑ preciousazoth has entered the castle

Daniel was just on his way back to his room after a quick trip to the study. It would be night soon, and he had hoped that - maybe this time - reading a book before bed would help him sleep until the morning. He'd tried as much many times before, but he truly wanted this attempt to be a success. Anything for a full night's sleep, something he had not had in a very long time.

The trees mostly obscured the view outside, yet he looked through the windows as he passed. How long had it been since he was last outside? He couldn't recall an exact date no matter how hard he tried.

The turn in the hall took him from his thoughts and his gaze left the glass windows. However, upon righting his head into a forward direction, he jumped and gasped as he had almost ran into a girl.

Flustered by his near blunder and by encountering a stranger, he said quickly, "I'm terribly sorry, miss. I wasn't mindful of where I was going." An anxious chuckle left his lips then. Daniel quelled his laughter after a moment and asked, "May I help you with something? Have you any business in Brennenburg?"

[mayfairian-blog]

God forgive me I have done wrong.

It always happened at night, when sleep was at its most evasive. Up in bed he would sit, sheets collected in his lap, nightgown in disarray from the tossing and turning, hair a mess, eyes red and dry from exhaustion. The memories would hit, and he would remember the men who fell down dead in his shadow, in his search for knowledge about the mysterious orb he'd procured from that tomb. Sometimes, he imagined he could hear them screaming for their lives as the Shadow lay waste to them, one after another. Or were those the Shadow's screams? He could not say.

Nightmares plagued with shrieks kept him awake, and he wondered when his own screams would be heard in his ears. How much longer did he have? When would the Shadow come, bellowing at Brennenburg's doors, thirsting for his life?

[zchr-deactivated20130120]

what if you woke up with amnesia and all you could remember was your tumblr password and you had to discover who you were based off your posts

[pixolith]

[wanderer-clem]

Upon having her hand released, Clementine folded her arms neatly behind her back as she listened intently to Daniel’s words. She did understand that this baron man was very important, and quite busy in his studies or whatever as well - but she felt a tinge of sadness that Daniel seemed to be alone for the most part, especially in this huge place.

“Well, no… It’s not really scary..” She spoke softly, as she turned her head slightly to peer down a darkened hallway nearby. “I’ve seen scarier things than big, empty buildings.. But I suppose being alone inside would be scary, if I didn’t have a light or someone to be there with me.. You know?” Her gaze lingered on the hallway, not particularly looking at anything but still staring as if she wasn’t trying to make something out in the shadows. It was still pretty dark, after-all.

Brown eyes flickered in the dim light as the returned their attention to Daniel, an odd expression slowly passing over her face. “So… If this baron is always busy all the time… Then what do you do around here, Daniel?”

[mayfairian-blog]

Green eyes followed the path of Clementine's sight. He swallowed thickly, an unease creeping up his spine and into the back of his neck. Oh, how he feared the dark－ His fingers grasped the lantern handle tighter, knuckles beginning to turn white. Tearing his eyes away from the hallway, he looked back down to the child.

"Of course," Daniel replied, managing to steady his voice despite how he felt just then. "A child shouldn't be left alone at all." An orphaned girl; he was surprised she wasn't more scared of being alone. Perhaps she had turned accustomed to being alone? And that comment of seeing scarier things. Just what had this little girl seen?

"I have my books," he said, a small smile beginning to form, thankful he'd brought at least some of them when he packed for the journey to Brennenburg. "And Brennenburg has its fair share of books as well. They help me pass the time if need be." The smile fell away somewhat. "Alexander does not require me to do anything so I have much free time on my hands. I'm afraid I don't have much to do but read and drink tea." He laughed a small little laugh. "At times I feel like wife who is waited on hand and foot everyday, with nothing to do but to squander her time." Sadly, that statement was more true than he cared for it to be. The servants kept him fed and made sure there was a bath ready for him everyday. But, at the very least, he made his own tea most of the time and dressed himself. Regardless that did not stop the tray of afternoon tea from appearing on his desk at the same time with each passing day.

The main difference was that the wife would get to go outside, while Daniel could not remember the last time he been through Brennenburg's front doors whilst open. He wasn't allowed to, too dangerous Alexander had said. And Daniel was just not brave enough to attempt it, even while he was left unwatched for long periods of time between the bringing of meals and tea.

[mayfairian-blog]

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[firaja]

[mayfairian-blog]

outofoil; Good afternoon, dash~! Sorry for not being on very much as of late but I have news.

Today is my birthday. I'm 22 today. I know. I'm old as balls. C:

[rainfellkeeper]

Aid wasn’t really what she’d been seeking, sleeping out in the cold and most likely unpleasant weather didn’t seem all that appealing to her. While she would do so if necessary why not opt for the more sturdy sheltered castle? Though now she was here she almost wished she’d just stayed outside until daylight. Not because of the company, the young man seemed polite enough but the energy here, it was thick, darkness surely lurked in these castle walls. “Oh no I’m fine I was just looking for a place to stay until the morning, the weather wasn’t being very agreeable” a light smile forming on her lips, albiet a little forced. 

However now that she was here the almost overwhelming dark sensation this place gave off intrigued her. Perhaps Unverse were here after all? She’d been in this world for a few days now and had seen no sign of the blue creatures. Perhaps she should meet this baron, though part of her was yelling for her to just leave and not press on any further, thinking it best to sleep on such a decision. 

“I wouldn’t want to get you into any sort of trouble, but it would be appreciated” she nodded though she got the idea that the person who owned this rather run down establishment wouldn’t be too pleased to find her in one of their beds. “So this Baron owns the castle? Do you live here too or are you just a guest?” Not really understanding why anyone would want to live here. Perhaps he was a servant? A castle as large as this one surely needed more than one man to keep it running. “Oh! I’m sorry I haven’t even given you my name, I’m Aqua” placing a hand to her chest as she bowed her head a little not wanting to ask questions before giving such basic manners.

[mayfairian-blog]

Her words made Daniel frown, a little worried over her answer. "I should say so. What were you doing outside in the middle of the night?" he questioned. Not that anyone should be roaming about after the sun went down, but especially not a lady. And without a light even? He could barely manage without a lit candle whenever he laid down to sleep, or even when the sun was just about to disappear from the sky. Though, not everyone was afraid of the dark like he was... Still, to be outside in the forest terrain in the dark with no light; it's a wonder she found Brennenburg at all without getting lost.

Now that he thought about it in further depth, this girl did not appear like a woman of the current age. Her attire didn't seem very appropriate, but he knew better than to ask about it or bring it up. If anything, he always tried to be more respectful than usual in the presence of a female. They had only just met and he did not need to begin picking apart every detail about his new acquaintance. She was clearly lost. He needed to focus on that.

"Yes. This castle is the home of the Baron Alexander." It was odd. Daniel still felt as if he should treat Alexander formally, by mention and in person. The latter not so much due to recent events unfortunately. Regardless, he still did not know Alexander enough to feel like they had befriended each other. "Oh, heavens no," he swiftly denied. "I'm merely a guest of Alexander, who was gracious enough to share his home with me."

In fact, Daniel often wondered if he was overstaying his welcome. Months into the arrangement, and he still wasn't what one would consider safe. He'd hoped with the last little bit of optimism he had left that this Shadow business would be resolved as soon as possible. Daniel had grown accustomed to life in Brennenburg, to being provided for by a man he rarely saw anymore, but he didn't desire to reside here for the rest of his life. What kind of life would it be if he constantly feared an entity that was after him while he remained in the same place? "Not to worry, I am late introducing myself as well. My name is Daniel."

Thoughtful for a moment, he decided to ask. "Would you care to accompany me to a more proper place to carry on this conversation? I don't know about you, but I feel absolutely silly standing around like this." The main hall was not too far from here, merely down a few halls and up the stairs. The study connected to his bedroom would do nicely for this purpose.

[mayfairian-blog]

outofoil; By the way, I went to deviantART last night to do some serious icon making.

I went through 900+ deviations. And mostly came out with stuff like this.

I am a serious roleplayer.