Superman is paradoxically Strong as Fuck and Medically Fragile. Hear me out.
We all know the deal. Invulnerability, save for kryptonite exposure and magic. Powers on powers on powers. Fueled by sunlight. Clark Kent is basically a photosynthetic Powerpuff Girl of alien origin. We don’t really worry about injury or physical illness taking him down because of how hard it is for him to get sick or injured. There just aren’t that many things capable of harming him when he’s in peak physical condition. It is possible, though, and it happens more often than anyone would like.
There’s a glaring issue here. Well, several issues. First and foremost: Clark Kent is one of one. It’s impossible to know how to help him in a situation where sunlight isn’t working without extensive knowledge of Kryptonian physiology, which he doesn’t even have. There’s no one else to compare him to, at least not safely. God forbid there’s an emergency and you assume aspirin thins Kryptonian blood the same way it does human blood, only to find out Superman and his entire long-dead species are actually violently, borderline deathly allergic to salicylates. The records at the Fortress are helpful, sure, but only if you know how to access the information, have enough time to do so, and aren’t staring down the barrel of a time-sensitive issue. While the incidents are few and far between, every single member of the Justice League can tell you about a horrifically traumatizing occasion where they thought it was time for slow singing and flower-bringing, only for luck (mostly Batman, honestly) to be on Superman’s side.
The second problem: safety. Batman sneezes? Weird, thought ancient Tibetan monk techniques made him immune to something as mundane as sneezes, but not completely abnormal. Also not dangerous if sudden and unexpected. Superman feels a tickle at the back of his nose and has to contemplate whether he’s far enough away from high population areas to sneeze. Flash throws up after bad sushi? Gross and definitely preventable (we told you not to get gas station sushi, Barry), but no big deal. Superman feels his stomach turn and it’s A Situation. What’s powerful enough to make one of the strongest beings in the known universe vomit? We need to quarantine him until we know what’s going on. Get a mask on him, no one in or out of this room without full PPE. Also, is the bucket he hurled in…smoking? Shit, is Kryptonian stomach acid Xenomorph levels of corrosive? Okay, fuck, he’s puking again and it’s eating through the floor—
The third problem: resources. Some things have relatively simple fixes. Well, fix. It’s pretty much always sunlight. But when that doesn’t work, the Justice League is faced with a huge lack of other options. Earth is close enough to Krypton that Clark thrives here, but it’s not an exact match. The minerals in food and water, the medication, the herbal remedies. Mint tea doesn’t work for an upset stomach on Clark the way it would for us. A whole hospital’s supply of morphine isn’t enough to ease the pain when Darkseid breaks Superman’s leg in four places. Between the biologic differences and Clark’s ridiculously overpowered body under yellow sunlight, sometimes aches, pains, and discomfort just go untreated until they resolve themselves or escalate into bigger problems that require emergency fixes—and those emergencies often involve use of kryptonite-laced compounds or tools that make the initial treatment hurt even worse.
The culmination of these problems is a Justice League that’s on edge if Superman is even slightly off.
Sniffle during a meeting? The whole room stops. It’s suddenly Beyoncé’s Renaissance tour—everybody on mute.
Stomach growling? Half the team stops mid-step and stares, like they’re waiting for something to explode. The other half is reaching for their phones to call Batman.
Scratched his forehead? Blue, you got a headache? You good? How many fingers am I holding up? What day is it? Oh God, he thinks it’s Monday! Hold my hand, Kal, I’ve got you! It—oh wait, it is Monday. False alarm!
Weird grimace? What’s up, Supes? What hurts? What’s wrong? Look, we get it, we’re overprotective, but you can’t just ignore us. Stop playing around…Supes? Oh fuck, he’s not breathing. Does he normally need to breathe? Blue’s turning blue. Diana, start compressions! Call Batman, CALL BATMAN!
