,,, this certainly was a choice is all I’m saying
almost home
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Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Origami Around
YOU ARE THE REASON
d e v o n

@theartofmadeline
will byers stan first human second

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oozey mess
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@mclennonlover
,,, this certainly was a choice is all I’m saying
Tumblr Code.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “i fill my ass with orange juice”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: ”17 cocks”
always reblog tumblr identification
this post makes me want to gouge my eyes out
im laughins so hard who changed it
@mclennonlover
when i wake up
well i know im gonna be, im gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
gksmgkwldk elly i fucking love you
@mclennonlover
when i wake up
Recently re-watched S1 of Good Omens and wondered (as I haven't read the book in a long while) if Newton's Dick Turpin joke is in the book, or did Jack Whitehall add that himself?
It’s in the book.
Nobody added jokes themselves, except for David and Michael at the end of the scene where Aziraphale decides to do his magic act.
And (as someone pointed out) Michael McKean’s wonderful Shadwell “Sergeant Pepper” line. That was all his. And so good.
what makes David Tennant so flammable?
Love. The burning power of love.
And kerosene, obviously.
oBvIoUsLy
Look we all want a robo dog but if you kill someone with a sledgehammer to steal theirs, they are going to find you. There's no way a 75k$ dog doesn't have gps
we are killing the dog
NO.
ALL DOGS ARE PRECIOUS.
Even robot ones.
its not a dog, its a machine used and designed for police surveillance and the entire reason they made it dog shaped is so idiots like you would go "awwww robot dog how precious" instead of seeing them as the oppressive tools they are.
we're killing the fucking dog
That's not a robot dog.
It's a four-legged robot spider.
It is not a dog, a spider, a chicken, a horse, a fish, a tick, a mosquito, a tapeworm or a baby
It is a weapon
There is nothing morally wrong about breaking weapons that are hurting people for any reason other than to prevent those people from hurting others worse
the dog robots are fully capable of hurting people, and badly. failsafes that would prevent that have not been installed. the police are deploying a thing out in public that can maim anyone who touches it wrong.
look, when i was a kid i was passionately in love with the idea of robots--that humans would one day create another sort of intelligence to share our world with-- and believed very firmly that we should respect and protect all our robot friends from the start, so there would be no violent humans-against-robots revolution or anything.
anyway it turns out that the people trying to keep end-stage capitalism running are really banking on us feeling more love for the robots than for the kind of people they're going to be using the robots to oppress.
so like. maybe lets all agree right now that if a robot is being used to hurt a person, you need to smash the fucking robot. they're going to make the robots really cute. they're going to show us so many movies about how much robots need to be loved. and then they are going to use robots to hurt people.
let's try not to fall for it, okay?
@thechonkyfrog
I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!
Two words: Raw eggs.
?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe
Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on
*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.
MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.
Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.
Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.
Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom
wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???
Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?
@thechonkyfrog
Can’t believe you left this in the tags @thewitchywinnie
Crystals
pairings: john lennon x reader !
summary: John loves to bring you things, even if they aren’t what he thinks they are… he just wants you to be happy. always.
warnings: just soft john !
this is my second ever fic on tumblr & i am soooo nervous to post because i always feel so intimidated by other readers but i really love this fic & i hope you do too !!! thank you all for reading <3
“Babe! I’ve got things for you!” You heard your boy yell from downstairs as the door opened and shut quickly, John walking into the house. Shucking his shoes off, he quickly grabbed the small plastic bag from his right arm and placed it on the couch, bouncing oh his toes waiting for you to come down the steps.
As you came down and caught sight of John, you could’ve awed out loud. The sweet boy, bouncing on his toes with the dorkiest & most innocent smile on his face, his hands together behind his back. You smiled warmly as you greeted him with a kiss to the cheek, giggling as John hummed into your touch. You pulled back as you spotted the small bag on the couch and made your way over to sit down.
“What’s this, darling?” You asked in curiosity.
“Open it!” John exclaimed excitedly, bouncing slightly as he clapped his hands together, awaiting your reaction to his gift.
You gently pulled a small piece of bubble wrap with something inside that you couldn’t quite make out until you unraveled it. Falling out of the bubble wrap and into your hands, John got you… a rock?
“It’s one of your pretty crystals! Yknow, the ones you keep on your nightstand? Have energy ‘n stuff?” John rambled out immediately at your confused face, praying to god he hadn’t screwed up.
Oh.
You looked up at him, his eyes showing a shine of insecurity and uncertainty, his mouth moving into a frown. Your eyes softened at his state as you immediately pretended to recognize what crystal it was. You smiled, rolling around the normal garden rock and examining it in your hand.
Poor Johnny.
“Oh love, it’s beautiful! Thank you so much! Gee, this one is so rare! Where did you even find it?” You asked, glancing up to John, who’s face lit up with excitement once more and clapped his hands slightly and quickly, a little habit he had picked up when he got excited.
“Oh I’m so glad you like it! I was worried it was the wrong thing…” John trailed off as he began to tell you that he found the ‘crystal’ by a bench in the park and thought it was perfect for your collection. And as he sat down, head in your lap, your hand in his hair, and continued to ramble on about his day, you realized that there was never anything more you could ask for in this life but him.
You kept the rock in your crystal collection forever.
John Lennon, NYC 1980
Taking care of other renegade angels. Crowley’s driving them to Heaven and Aziraphale has been giving a pep talk for two hours already. (It’s 4am, I don’t know shit about SPN but Ewe posted a vine about it and I had to)
⭐️ Commission Info ⭐️
love that these are both in a different language but i can still tell exactly what the joke is
I thought this was going to be inspirational but it’s better
I stumbled across this comment on YouTube earlier—and at first I was like haha nice but then I actually thought about it and I think there’s a really interesting opportunity for mclennon conspiracy discourse here. (yay!)
Under a cut because it’s a bit lengthy.
Keep reading
My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.
every time we serve chicken at work i think of this post
1. If you were wondering, you can type the numbers in the works cited into google and they appear to be medical journal articles about using medical imaging to detect and diagnose a rare form of Gastritis.
2. Please enjoy the offical powerpoint presentation of this paper at an academic conference by the original author, complete with Q&A:
THIS IS GOLD
oh m god please watch the video it’s some of the most contagious laughter on the planet
When I saw this cross my dash tonight, I smiled and thought “yess, the chicken chicken chicken post, I get to reblog it again and inflict it on all of the people that have followed me since last time”, and then I scrolled down more and to my utter delight there was A VIDEO, needless to say my night has been made
I HAVE NOT SEEN THE CHICKEN VIDEO IN TEN DAMN YEARS HOLY SHIT
STILL FUNNY
The bell
The last question
The woman howling in laughter 90% of the time
It’s all beautiful
It’s all
So beautiful