Clown Crematorium @mechanica1-hands - Tumblr Blog

If aught but death part thee and me

Hi, call me Drunkle or Kide.

• Eng/Esp

• 20s

• I study biological anthropology (ask me about sex and primates)

• DNI if you are attracted to the star wars boob head aliens

• Hear me live at KDVS.org on Fridays 2-4 AM PST

My dms and asks are always open

#pinned

self-loving-vampire

Trans women are just strictly superior at everything I guess.

Truly speechless at this. "Cis women are so dainty and fragile that moving chess pieces for too long exhausts them."

Please acquire some self-respect (and maybe learn statistics). I am taking psychic damage over here.

So much of transphobia is just exaggerated sexism (or reheated homophobia).

vintage-vermin

This one is always on my mind. And always relevant.

capacity2

They’re on Reddit saying texting “hi” is low iq and gives people the ick and that’s why they got ghosted. They don’t let u say hi no more….. we’re in a loneliness epidemic bc everybody is a weirdo about every little thing im cracking up

la-vie-en-lys

If you say "hi" and that's it you sound like you don't give a shit. Why would I want to talk to someone who won't even introduce themselves properly? Make an effort or suffer your loneliness epidemic.

capacity2

You people are crazy . You’re just crazy. This isn’t a normal world anymore

auttumnleafs

It's poor netiquette. If someone sent you a letter in the mailbox that just said "hi" would that not drive you insane?

capacity2

I would send hello ^.^ back ….. and feel warm inside

haleyhalcyon

I would tear it into pieces with my hands.

Who the fuck are you?

Fuck you for the anxiety you gave me from getting a letter from a name and address I don’t recognize.

Fuck you for the time you made me waste having to open that letter.

Fuck you for the complete bullshit feeling of finding out that you literally just wrote “hi” and expected that to communicate anything or resolve anything.

I don’t know your stupid douchebag ass, and I don’t want to. Fuck all the way off.

I’m here all pissed off just from imagining that hypothetical. It’s nothing short of disgusting that SOME shitheads think that this is acceptable behavior.

capacity2

You need to be euthanized

classyflame

Did y'all like, know, that it's incredibly weird to start up a novel right at answering the phone? It's a good way to get accidentally flagged as a telemarketer or something.

You say hi. You start with hi in a conversation. DMs and similar are conversation areas. This isn't even about emails and letters.

People are out here ready to tear apart some stranger in the street for saying hi to you and y'all wonder why you're alone 😭

haleyhalcyon

Stepping up to a stranger on the street, yelling “hi” at them, then standing there in silence staring at them makes you a creep.

please don't say just hello in chat

Web chats are asynchronous. By the time the other person even sees your meaningless “hi”, you may be AFK or asleep.

You wouldn’t just call someone, say “HI”, then sit in silence and make the other person ask you who you are. No, you say “This is [name], calling you about [topic].” within the first few seconds.

You wouldn’t just mail someone a letter in an envelope, just to write “hi”, and make the other person send you a reply to ask you who you are. No, you put your whole message right there in that letter.

Even in real life, you wouldn’t step up to a stranger and blurt out “HI”, then stand there grinning like a creep and staring right into their eyes to pressure the other person to ask you who you are. No, you start the conversation up with an ice-breaker, like a compliment, the question you actually want to ask, or just a rhetorical small-talk question.

This isn’t demanding you to “start a novel”. This is telling you to actually start a conversation like a normal fucking human being can. This is basic manners.

You people are terminally self-centered and have no respect for the time, social battery, and boundaries of others.

P.S.: On a similar note to “No hello”, here’s “Don’t ask to ask”:

hi

1 million beers in: hi.

shooo

average day in 2026

we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"

ratty-writer

english major brain: words can evolve and develop as a society goes on. the way a word is used is its definition. it's pointless to hold onto the idea of right vs wrong words human brain: THAT IS NOT WHAT LARP MEANS!!!!!

cafffine

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

wizardshark

In the year 1450 a priest rolls over and slams his hand into his candle, burning him and sending wax flying all over the place

arlo-maintenanceman

I got curious and looked into the ‘you can only have sex one day of the year’ movie more and holy shit

for those not as invested in this shit as I am, the movie ends with the protagonists not having sex and deciding people who like having sex are shallow and weird. Yknow. Agreeing with the facist government banning them from having sex.