Too Illiterate in Sarcasm to be on the Internet

[zemosimp05-deactivated20221220]

So a Friend of mine suddenly told me this :

And then he send me this :

And I went like 🤯🥵😳😵‍💫😍🤯 ♥️💞LOOK AT HIM😍 I MEAN HER OMG😍

Now I'm gonna go and download faceapp to turn every other pic of Daniel😭❤.

[sourvy-deactivated20230224]

smells like a teen baron

Zemo, Bucky and Sam go on a mission to take down an old Hydra base, during a mission the baron is hit by a non-lethal gas, at first they think it’s nothing serious until as the days go by the baron gets rejuvenated more and more, until he’s 19 years old, now he has to deal with a young baron and his temper and of course the young man can’t help but be horny for Bucky Sam hates them both.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the wonderful Alice’s fanart with the young zemo and wintersoldier, so yes, that fanart definitely was my inspiration

if anyone ever writes this fic I will love you forever

(I apologize for any mistakes in English because it is not my native language.)

[medijolola]

OMG this fanart/deaging is awesome

[disclosureday]

these middle schoolers are touring campus and one of them walked by me and said “hey what’s college life like” and i told him “it sucks” and he said “well it can’t be any worse than middle school.” he’s right

[not-mary-sue]

Take these words through your darkest hour, for though we maybe tired and hungry, at least we’re not in fucking middle school

[medijolola]

some of us have graduated and non school life is also horrifying... take me back middle school!

[enstatia]

Marvel heroes/ Disney villains mashups(❗NOT A FANCAST❗)

I was out of Tumblr for quite a while, but I'm glad to be back with a complete six fanarts challenge!🤗

[medijolola]

OMG YES my childhood and adult self have intersected 

[medijolola]

Hurt! Whump! Helmut Zemo prompt: The Raft guards gaslighting Zemo with his dead wife's voicemail

@gwaciechang & myself prompt: 

After weeks of abuse/isolation: The Raft guards start playing Zemo's dead wife's voicemail in his cell, the one place he's not at risk of physical harm, is now haunted. Zemo is unsure if the voice he's hearing is an audio hallucination resulting from his isolation and a sign of him losing his sanity or the work of the guards. He cant be sure due to the high possibility/ probability of the guards gaslighting him (if he did bring it up). He can only trust himself even if he is mad. Possibly the fic could explore him reaching the decision that: Either I've lost my mind and lean into it. Or decide this is the work of the guards and they will regret this.

After he's escaped and killed the guards and he wanders to the guard room/monitor room (just for his own piece of mind) and it was indeed the recording of his wife he is vindicated and crushed. Zemo had doubted the recording as being real since in his mind, he remembers her voice as accusatory. And it's such a relief to hear her be kind to him, but it makes him feel even worse at the same time. 

He has to decide delete the message  again or know someone may play this trick on him again (or do deep fake with her voice) and truly drive him mad, he thinks at least they didnt have audio of his son. 

If he does delete the voicemail again, he decides to track down all audio of his family and destroy it to prevent it being deep fake manipulated/perverted in the future

Maybe this is how Sam and Bucky find him after tracking him down and come upon him looking into a fire they dont realize at first he's burning things, just see him thinking he's committing arson. On closer inspection they see he’s surrounded by pulled VHS tapes and pictures that he's burning, better the corrupted memory in his head than someone bringing them back as deep fakes/voices to finish driving him mad. 

[medijolola]

Zemo being portrayed as touch starved by Daniel Bruhl

OH OH! just read this about self-soothing in cases of touch starvation! 

-Apply pressure on body simulated by weighted blankets or layers

: Zemo covered head to toe in layers (in tight/pressure clothing)

 -Dancing (Zemo dances in club)  

https://www.geeksaresexy.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/zemo.gif

-Massage/Self-touch 

noted that Zemo rubs/ massages his hands a lot (like in this promotional pic): 

(long, long baths ) 

- Long baths/Warm water also function as self touch/massage 

plus more are all suggested for people trying to manage touch starvation 

OMG - knowing Daniel Bruhl I wouldn’t be surprised if many of his acting choices were directed with the idea of Zemo being touch starved. https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/managing-touch-deprivation (edited)

[kenloganroy]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)  1x03 | POWER BROKER

[medijolola]

Prompt: Hurt!Zemo, Temporary deafness; Zemo’s pragmatic nihilism vs Sam and Bucky caring when they don’t want to.

Prompt: Hurt!Zemo, Temporary Sensory Loss: Zemo’s pragmatic nihilism where he cares very little about his overall survival/health vs. Sam and Bucky caring even when they don’t want to. 

Prompt came about from a discussion on the discord between @sokoviantea, @Sublime Pigeon, and myself 

Prompt: 

Temporary Deafness: Zemo loses his hearing on a mission: a bomb went off next to him, gun shot by his head, hydra/villain science, could be the result of magic whichever the case it resulted in Zemo’s hearing loss. 

Post mission Sam and Bucky are confused why Zemo's looking at their faces so intensely and alternating between that and completely ignoring them. Let's say he lasts almost a week before the game is up (lip reading is probably stand training in black ops right?). With Sam and Bucky confused, but thinking Zemo would have complained if there was an issue. That is until he almost gets hit/killed by something the guys yell at him to avoid, or something he should have heard coming. 

Zemo hadn’t said a word regarding the issue since he believed the alteration to his hearing was permanent and was trying to prove that he was still mission useful/ready despite the handicap. (@Sublime Pigeon) He plans to use the week as proof of concept that he can still perform so no reason to curtail the mission and immediately send him back to the Raft, which is what he assumed would happen if he became a liability to the mission. In Zemo’s mind this is perfectly logical, since of course, they’re using each other mutually for a mission and they can’t use him right now, and trying to keep an eye on him makes far less sense than returning him. And it’s not as though he particularly cares about his own health and survival, but is not looking forward to the additional sensory deprivation of having lost his hearing in solitary confinement. 

At the safe house Sam and Bucky are yelling at Zemo like wtf man what was that? What happened?! Sam and Bucky are oblivious to what’s going on in Zemo’s head (clearly), as they hell he starts back up, and explains the he lost his hearing a week ago, (Boys stunned) once Zemo’s finished packing he turns to them and is like “When should I expect the guards to arrive?” COMPLETELY different pages. (@Sublime Pigeon) Sam: WE ARE TAKING YOU TO A DOCTOR RIGHT NOW ?!?!

The boys (Sam and Bucky) have grown fond of the Sokovian menace and in truth not all the missions they take him on strictly speaking require Zemo’s expertise, and it's more that he has become a part of the team. Not that Sam or Bucky ever thought it was something they’d ever actually have to discuss… with words.  

Zemo’s hearing loss gets addressed: whether the cause was magical, science, or medical the issue was fixable and he was just suffering in silence (literally) unsure if it could be fixed or that the others would bother. The others are equally offended and concerned that they've been working together FOR A YEAR NOW DAMNIT. The healing process/procedure requires several days to recuperate, and this is the point where Zemo fully expects to be dropped off at the raft. Instead, he has a disgruntled Sam/Bucky caring.

 @sokoviantea: Sam, almost forcefully spoon feeding Zemo soup, making his best effort to modulate the words: "I can’t believe you'd do this, fuck... it's been a year and you think we would just... throw you back to the raft? I thought we were on better terms than this" Zemo:  utterly bewildered because this is not how their working relationship is meant to function, responds in confused sokovian silence, enjoying the soup more than he lets on.

 @sparcia wrote a fic addressing a blinded Zemo.Breathless by @Sparcinahttps://archiveofourown.org/works/34568833/chapters/86049790

[finn-is-punk]

I had to.

[medijolola]

This is too good

[medijolola]

Variant fem!Zemo trolling Bucky & Sam

Prompt: There a lack of TVA shenanigans in tFatWS so: also up to author if story is gen, winterbaron, S/B/Z or other pairing.

There is a mission into a hydra base can be just Bucky and Sam (or so they think) with Zemo already there taking/making obituaries. Sam & Bucky entering distracts Zemo long enough to get hit by a science weapon. 

- few options now: 

 The lab is coming down on their heads after the weapon was discharged, Q Bucky or Sam running over to grab Zemo and hauling ass. And don't notice anything until they've cleared the base. 

OR The dust clears and then Bucky immediately notices something’s wrong; because that right there can't be Zemo... That's a woman... in a similar color scheme holding a sword and a gun and omg Sam, Sam... Answer your coms!

Q Bucky and Sam freaking out at a female Zemo, they have no idea how to handle the terrorist with tits. 

The boys are scrambling to fix whats happened and are completely freak out.  S&B: Being even more freaked out by how calm Zemo is being about all this. Like dude, why are you so calm in all this?! Zemo your dick is gone at least freak out a little. 

The entire time the boys are running around like chickens, they haven’t realized  and Zemo isn’t telling (she's finding this all too funny) is that she's always been a woman; Zemo had deduced that she must be in an alternate timeline/reality. 

Given that Bucky's hair hand completely changed from a mullet/long flowing locks to his short hair and Sam fro was shaved. Q alt (TVA) femZemo trolling the shit out of the boys, while also being the sexiest most deadly agent since black widow. 

 The guys have no idea how Zemo is pulling of this feminine thing so easily, like dude your dick!!! How long this goes on for is up to author. Do they ever find out or do the Zemo's switch back without the boys realizing? And Keep the Trolling strong. One day waking up and its male Zemo drinking tea like nothing happened.

Some additional ideas: For Female Zemo can go with show similar or comics. Love to see what you guys are imagining  

@bottombaron​ suggested. 

[5ummit]

Bucky + The Falcon and the Winter Soldier + Text Posts (½)

[medijolola]

Relatable Bucky + tFatWS being relatable 

[medijolola]

Prompt: Anyone notice how covered up Zemo is in throughout tFatWS? Q Mutant Touch Telepath Zemo

Anyone else notice that Zemo rarely removes his gloves and is literally covered from head to toe even his mask covers his whole head? Even his prison uniforms are long-sleeved (isn't that odd) 

 Prompt: Unbeknownst to the Raft/Other power that be, Zemo is a touch telepath, something he has hidden his entire life. Only using it as a last resource under extreme duress or for emergency intelligence-gathering purposes. (He feels like he's cheating) 

 Power: if Zemo's skin touches someone he can read minds, place in hallucination/mental traps, compel the individual or straight knockout them out.

Q: Zemo going on missions and just getting mad results, leaving Bucky and Sam utterly confused. On how he does it (maybe he's using abilities, maybe he isnt). But both Sam and Bucky both notice that Zemo dresses like a business nun, completely covered from head to toe. No matter the weather or occasion... causing both to start having a lot of questions. Maybe Bucky and Sam are joking around about it, like I bet you he does it for this reason. 

Sam: maybe he has poor circulation gets cold? 

Bucky: there;s no way he's cold in this weather... I bet its scars, he's hidding war scars. etc 

 Q situation where the guys see Zemo sneak up on someone and drop them with a touch. 

Sam: omg he has a Vulcan nerve pinch! 

Bucky: wtf is that Sam, is that a thing 

Sam: it's not supposed to be a thing! OMG Bucky 

Bucky: Dont say it 

Sam: one of the big 3 

Now how the fic proceeds guys piecing things together and being way, way, off. Like concluding that Zemo must be an alien or something else equally ridiculous. With Zemo sighing and drinking his tea.  This is just an idea I’m floating out there into the universe

[glumshoe]

I really think Rasputin lucked out, in that being remembered by history as some species of giant unkillable sex wizard is something most of us can only fruitlessly aspire to.

[thisisatesttai]

He didn’t luck out, he worked hard for that rep

[glumshoe]

he really didn’t though

he was just kind of a garden-variety creep, but the rumor mill did all the work for him and now he’s a banger disco song

[glumshoe]

to be fair, neither could Rasputin. Alexei very much continued to have haemophilia.

isn’t the current theory that he seemed to heal faster and have more spoons when Rasputin was around because Rasputin wouldn’t let the doctors give him aspirin, a blood thinner?

[green-alien-sings-pompeii]

Ra Ra Rasputin Russia’s wellness scamming fiend

[glumshoe]

[prokopetz]

Fun fact: the conspirator who’d been made responsible for preparing the poison for Rasputin, Stanislaus de Lazovert, was a medical intern who’d studied under the exact same doctor who kept trying to treat Tsarevich Alexei’s hemophilia with aspirin.

Like, I feel like this should be taken into account when evaluating reports of Rasputin’s miraculous immunity to poison.

[taxes-and-laundry]

Did the guy who shot him also study under that doctor?

[prokopetz]

No, Felix Yusupov was just a useless nerd who thought he knew how murder worked because he’d read a book.

Based on the available historical evidence, the most likely sequence of events is as follows:

The conspirators attempt to kill Rasputin with poison-laced cakes, but fail; it’s unknown whether this is because de Lazovert fucked up the poison, because Rasputin – who had a well-known dislike of sweets – didn’t go in on the cakes as heavily as they expected, or just because a poisoned cake is a really stupid idea.  

Seeing that the poison has failed, Yusupov gets Rasputin alone for a moment and shoots him once in the chest, causing him to fall senseless to the floor. Because he’s a useless nerd who thinks he knows how murder works because he read a book, Yusupov is unaware that a single handgun shot is very unlikely to be immediately fatal, and neglects to finish Rasputin off, instead leaving the room to confer with his fellow conspirators.  

When the conspirators return to retrieve Rasputin’s body, he recovers from the shock of the initial gunshot and attacks them. Following some general panic, a third conspirator, Vladimir Purishkevich, opens up guns blazing; Purishkevich manages to miss several times in spite of being at point-blank range, but eventually strikes Rasputin in the head, killing him instantly.  

The conspirators beat the shit out of Rasputin’s body just to be sure, then proceed to make a complete clownshow out of disposing of the corpse; the remainder of Rasputin’s injuries are sustained postmortem.

Pretty much everything else about Rasputin’s miraculous invincibility is invented whole cloth, much of it by Yusupov himself in order to build himself up in his own published memoirs.

(As icing on the incompetently poisoned cake, elements of Yusupov’s memoirs were later incorporated into the 1932 film Rasputin and the Empress, which led to Yusupov suing MGM Studios for libel because the film strongly implies that Rasputin was fucking Yusupov’s wife. The precedent set by that lawsuit is the reason those “similarities to any real person living or dead are coincidental” disclaimers exist.)

[naamahdarling]

That last fact took me off at the knees.

[medijolola]

The “Blip”in Marvel estimate of total casualties: 18,580,573 deaths.

The first issue with the day Thanos “snapped” is that we’re never told exact dates and times. What we do know The “Blip” was on a weekday in October 2023, my guess early October since we don’t see any Halloween decorations up. So I’ll argue it happened sometime between Oct 2-6. 

An important thing to know when calculating the consequences of the snap is at what time did it happen. Someone calculated that the snap happened between 7 AM-9 AM in NYC and around 3PM– 5 PM in Wakandan. (https://www.quora.com/What-time-of-day-was-it-in-Wakanda-when-Thanos-snapped-his-fingers#:~:text=It%20looks%20like%20early%20morning,5%20PM%20in%20Wakandan%20Time.)

So now we have a clearer picture The snap happened on a weekday in early October during morning Rush hour NYC (7-9am)  in the US, 7-9 pm (Beijing) China, 3-5 pm Wakanda. 

I thought I’d look at what I imagined would be the major causes of injury/death after half the population vanished. Most of these you can see or transportation related. (If anyone has more suggested please add to this post!) 

Planes

Cars

Buses

Trains

Hospital Deaths 

Planes:

At the low end of air travel, at any given time there are about  9,728 planes — carrying 1,270,406 people — in the air. On a heavier air traffic day there could be up to 12,856 planes carrying 1,590,929 people in the air. (https://www.travelandleisure.com/airlines-airports/number-of-planes-in-air)

Luckily, all planes require two pilots and landing and take off can be and often is automated (idk what percentage) → In the past 5 years, there have only been 23 pilots incapacitated, none of which resulted in plane crashes (that I read) 

So most of the blip deaths would likely not be caused by planes crashing due to the pilot being “blipped” 

The cause of death related to plane travel would be of those people that were returned, of those returned, it would likely be almost 100% fatality, due to falling out of the sky from where the plane had been (unless they pop back into the plane they’d been flying, which would be its own problem). Since we’re never told I opted for the worse case scenario. 

Plane deaths: 63,5203 or 79,5464.5

Cars: 

Approximately 1.24 million people die in car crashes annually worldwide. 

Reportedly, 1.6 million car crashes were caused by cell phone use while driving.

“It is estimated there are about 1.4 billion drivers in the world”, (but the number may be higher and closer to 2 billion).

1.4 billion was the closest number I could find to the average number of people driving worldwide at any given time, so assuming this worst case scenario number of drivers on the road at Thanos’s snap that means that  half of those drivers disappeared with blip we have 700,000,000 driverless cars and 700,000,000 drivers still in their vehicles. 

For the sake of acquiring numbers based in real world statistics I would classify the blip as a “distraction” ¼ accidents are caused by distractions (Source: Edgarsnyder.com) so

Let say 175,000,000 accidents take place happen due to “distraction/ blip” of these on average 8.7% of distracted accidents are fatal; so worst case scenario we have 15,225,000 people killed due to distraction associated someone on the street “poofing out” I’m going to pretend this would include collision caused by people no longer being in their cars, cars driving into things, etc.

I do not believe this takes into account pedestrians fatalities or fatalities due to reduced ambulance and hospital staff. But given how high the number is, lets say this number  takes them into account.

“Daily 3,700 people are killed globally Each year, 1.35 million people are killed on roadways around the world” (https://www.cdc.gov/injury/features/global-road-safety/index.html) 

*fatality rate is 12.4 deaths per 100,000 inhabitants.https://www.asirt.org/safe-travel/road-safety-facts/

8.7% of all car crash fatalities were due to distracted driving in 2019. → https://www.bankrate.com/insurance/car/distracted-driving-statistics/

Buses & Trains: are both surprisingly safe and would likely only contribute minimally to fatalities.  

According to Bloomberg New Energy Finance, at the end of 2017 there were 3 million city buses in operation worldwide; of these, 385,000 belong to the category of electric bus. 

--> If someone is good at math would you help calculate the number of buses that would lose their driver 

There are approximately about 262 bus fatalities resulting from bus crashes annually in the US (https://www.paulsoncoletti.com/bus-accident-statistics/)

(anyone good at math holla at me)

Deaths related to crashes would likely rise due to the confusion related to organizing medical care. I had no idea how to calculate daily bus accidents world wide so thought worse case scenario lets say total deaths via bus on the day Thanos snapped was 262 worldwide. 

Trains: The key question was can they stop on their own?

“Automatic train stop or ATS is a system on a train that automatically stops a train if certain situations occur (unresponsive train operator, earthquake, disconnected rail, train running over a stop signal, etc.) to prevent accidents. In some scenarios it functions as a type of dead man's switch.” ( https://www.sidgilreath.com/learn/railroad-accidents-causes.html) 

Lets hope the person behind the switch turned them on or wasnt blipped as well. 

Annually Trains cause 1,000 deaths, again, I used total death in a year for our worse case Thanos Snap fatalities.

The second highest Cause of death would be hospital related: 

Hospital deaths:

From surgeon poofing away (luckily usually a team, and more than one doctor is attending a surgery)

To deaths from patient neglect from the resulting chaos

Not receiving medications on time and medications or transfusion causing a reaction (allergic) not being caught in time would be the main killers. 

Medical errors are estimated to account for as many as 251,000 deaths annually in the United States (U.S) alone.

“Each year, 134 million adverse events occur in hospitals in low- and middle-income countries (LMICs), due to unsafe care, resulting in 2.6 million deaths (4).”

Unsafe surgical care procedures cause complications in up to 25% of patients. Almost 7 million surgical patients suffer significant complications annually, 1 million of whom die during or immediately following surgery (12). https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/patient-safety

I decided to go with 2.6 million as total deaths on the day Thanos snapped. 

I know my logic and numbers are a little crazy but it made sense to me to calculate it this way (I also got a bit lazy about explaining myself...) 

Thus far I've calculated 18,580,573 deaths as a result (direct and indirect of the snap). Agree? Disagree? Let me know what’s missing, if you have better numbers/statistics, if your good at math lol. 

This was me just trying to get a ballpark of what the consequences that the MCU hints and but hasnt really addressed and likely wont. 

[luna-rainbow]

the Zemo arc

Zemo's 5 minutes in episode 5 completed a surprisingly wholesome character arc from Civil War and to the TFATW series.

Even knowing that Bucky was under Hydra's control, Zemo believed him culpable and saw no issue with either T'Challa killing him in misdirected rage or Tony killing him in vengeance.

He has now spent 2 (or 7) years sitting in a German jail, reconsidering his life choices. He has read the files on the Red Skull and the failed Winter Soldier program, and possibly even the Hulk. The super soldier serum is the hubris of mankind trying to break the laws of nature, so therefore it stands to reason that these people lose their hold on humanity.

When Bucky reappears in front of him, he doesn't believe Bucky when he says those days are behind him.

He knows Bucky wouldn't have come to face him alone if his brainwashing hadn't been deprogrammed, but he says the words anyway just to get a reaction, then continues to aggravate him after they break out.

He insists on Bucky resuming the Winter Soldier identity, then smirks to Sam over how easily Bucky returns to aggression. He goads Bucky several times, almost as a test to see when he might lose control. To his disappointment, Bucky explodes but always stops short of actually harming him.

Whenever he talks about super soldiers being inevitably corrupted by the serum, he glances at Bucky as though to say "I know you're pretending to have it together, but you are just like the rest". When Bucky protests that some might survive the serum without becoming corrupt, he mocks, "But there has never been another Steve Rogers."

But as relentless as he is in his preaching towards Sam (and Bucky), he starts to waver. It began with Bucky's notebook: 2 lists of names, one with his own between Hydra names he knew from Black Widow's data dump. It's the other list that catches his eye.

"Who is Nakajima?" he asks, not recognising it. He realises from Bucky's reaction that it's just a regular guy whose name never made it to the headlines, an unfortunate and unnecessary victim caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The super soldier was remorseful, and carried his atonement in his pocket.

As he launches into another lecture about the existence of super soldiers after destroying the serum, Sam turns to him and questions his conviction.

For once, Zemo was rendered wordless. He was losing his conviction.

After he steals away, he waits, unarmed and unaccompanied, for Bucky in front of the Sokovian monument.

It was a gamble, but even he himself isn't sure what he is gambling on.

If Bucky came, was that a sign of his elite assassin tracking skills, or of the man's empathy in recalling Zemo's off-hand remark about the monument?

As though to prove a point, he goads Bucky one last time when he does come.

He is unsurprised when Bucky points his gun at him - after all, he did see his own name on Bucky's list. He smiles and nods encouragingly at Bucky.

He's won, because Bucky is exactly the man he had foretold.

You are a super soldier.

All super soldiers will be corrupted.

You are programmed to kill.

The Winter Soldier is still in there.

But Bucky refuses to follow his script.

Zemo prides himself on his ability to read and manipulate his enemies. Even Steve Rogers, as close to flawless as that man might be, acted exactly as he forecasted in the confrontation with Tony.

T'Challa, and now Bucky, are the only ones to defy his predictions.

Sam had said, "Blood doesn't always have to be the solution," and Bucky showed him what that meant.

Maybe he had it wrong.

But it doesn't feel so bad to be wrong this time.

[medijolola]

THIS

[quotefeeling]

But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil (via quotefeeling)

Bucky Barnes feeling anyone?

[medijolola]

Delirious Feral Coronel Zemo who believes he’s been captured by enemy soldiers… who in reality are Sam and Bucky, trying to help.

This prompt was brought to you by myself @sokoviantea, @sublimepigeon with input from @sholiofic

Delirious Feral Coronel Zemo who believes he’s been captured by enemy soldiers… who in reality are Sam and Bucky, trying to help.

Prompt: Zemo enters a state of delirium 

Fever - injuries he’d been hiding, attempting to prolong time away from the raft. ← I’m partial to this one 

Injury/drugs- Becomes delirious as a result of being drugged and injured by an enemy.

Magic- he’s trapped in a past memory, maybe he fell into a “trap” or boys were stuck dealing with a magical threat and Zemo took the hit for Bucky or Sam.

Regardless, Zemo believes he’s been captured by enemy soldiers. Possibly Hydra (the American branch of hydra) believing Sam and Bucky are enemy American Hydra soldiers. 

In his mind he’s convinced he is about to be interrogated. “All Zemo knows is he’s hurting, he’s being held by American soldiers he can’t recognize in his delirium, and he is spitting furious about it” (@sokoviantea)

Q Zemo reverting to his black ops training “rabid wolverine in full black ops, civil war survivor, colonel mode”. (@sublimepigeon) 

Ultimately, Bucky and Sam are forced to restrain him, resulting in several additional bruises. 

- Sedation isnt an option wether because: they have none, Zemo is resistant, or giving the severity of the infection and fever. 

-They also “can't just like, lock him up and leave him alone. They have to actually take care of him while he's trying to stab them, but also so out of it he can barely stand up” (@sholiofic) 

“The best they can do is get him properly pinned down and immobilized so he stops being a danger to everyone and then they have to deal with 'obviously furious, distressed and plotting to murder them the moment he gets out from under Bucky's super soldier grip but at least he's not got hands free for the eye gouging.” (@sublimepigeon) At one point they decide to wrap a shirt over his head, to prevent him from biting, and maybe to calm him (it makes it worse). Being restrained (with what he assumes is a bag over his head) has him convinced he'd been captured by the enemy. The pain he’s feeling (Sam treating his injuries (infected injuries), cleaning and suturing the wounds and trying to administer medication) feels like torture, and reacting accordingly he either goes quiet (limp playing dead) or starts reciting passages at them. Waiting for a lull to attack them again and get free. 

Throughout all this Bucky is forced to be the one holding Zemo down, and given that Zemo believes Bucky is Hydra in this moment, it brings him beck to when he was Hydra, since once upon a time he was forced to hold people down to be tortured for Hydra.

Throughout it all Sam is focused, explaining what he’s doing to Zemo as he works. He’s in emergency medical professional mode. He’ll do his freaking out after the job is done (like a professional thank you very much)

Ultimately, the boys take away from the experience that Zemo is terrifying in survival mode, and his behavior with them compared to his behavior to an enemy, "welp so it turns out you do like us because HOLY SHIT WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE SOMEONE--" (@sublimepigeon).

When Zemo returns to consciousness, he thanks the boys for rescuing him, “apologies for being a burden to the team. It will not happen again.” Only to learn he he tried to murder the boys “ah, further apologies” Q the post-recovery awkwardness / “team building”. 

Zemo is preparing himself throughout his recovery to be put on an even shorter leash or returned to the raft, given his injuring of both Sam and Bucky. And becomes increasingly confused when it doesn't happen.