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ellievsbear

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@megsblackfirewrites
Coral Island Offering Guide: Advance Altar Fruit Plant 🌱
i love these two characters. i need to trap them in a collapsed building so they can talk about their feelings as one of them slowly bleeds out.
*thinks up an idea for a silly quick piece* okay haha let's whip something up real quick
*idea gets more complicated*
*idea gets more complicated*
*idea gets more complicated*
*idea gets more complicated*
oh no
We don’t talk enough about how fanfiction writers love to give character large amounts of non-specific paperwork they hate doing
say more pls
Yeah sure why not.
So most stories take place when Events are Happening, and this means that no matter what kind of job the characters have, they’re probably not too focused on them. Fanfics, on the other hand, often show the down time. Which means that the writer has to figure out what the hell these characters do in their jobs. Unless the characters have a job the author understands or knows well, the author is often at a loss for what to have the character doing.
So they sit them at a desk and give them paperwork. What is the paperwork for? Rarely specified. It is Paper Work for the characters Important Adult Job they have and they need to read or sign it or something. And there’s always a line about how Character Hates Paperwork. Doesn’t matter if Character is a Mafia Boss or a General or a Diplomat, here they are in an office trying to get out of Doing Paperwork.
There’s also a sense of, like, humor and mundanity that comes with it. Like the examples above, it always particularly stands out to me when a dangerous individual is griping about some paper they need to sign or something. The less you can picture Character doing paperwork, all the better to force it upon them. If Character is saddled with Paperwork, they’re usually now concerned about the physical damages their motley crew causes, because damage = More Paperwork.
Anyway I just think it’s fun or funny, Sephiroth doing paper work and Sawada Tsunayoshi doing paper work and this just in, Tony Stark is doing paperwork. Sorry, Phoenix Wright can’t play right now. Yeah, it’s paperwork.
A very non-exhaustive list of actual paperwork they could be completing/reviewing/approving, in no particular order:
Timesheets
Expense reports
Requisition requests
Budget justifications
Payroll
Performance evaluations
Incident reports
After action reviews / post-mortem analyses
Incident Action Plans
Contracts
Contract proposals / grant applications
Reports / briefings
Your Royalty or Nobles in your feudal society should be doing this constantly unless you want to show how they're losing the kingdom and about to be usurped or overthrown.
petitions, speech-writing, complaints, requests, assignations, disputes, judiciary forms, declarations that need signing off on, matters requiring the Royal seal, matters requiring a royal endorsement, pardons, judgments, invitations, rebuttals, census data, crop yields projected or actual, livestock records, water rights, Sumptuary laws, taxes taxes taxes...
solid point there!
even when the royalty look like they're just fucking off to have fun, they're doing Socially Mandated Fuck-Off and Have Fun Time
Tournaments? Gotta show you're manly and virile through sport, or the nobles will supplant you. Feasts? Gotta show you're wealthy through conspicuous consumption, or the nobles will supplant you. Patronizing the arts? Gotta show you're cultured and erudite, or the nobles will laugh at you behind your back and probably supplant you.
Lawyer here. Here’s some more mundane/modern ones for you:
Invoices.
Intake sheets (information about new clients. The one for my firm is 13 pages and requires an hour long meeting. Then you have to do something with the info gathered)
Data entry for invoices and intake sheets.
Billing. (More involved than timesheets because you’re justifying to clients why you’re getting paid so much).
Form letters.
Taxes. Including 1099s for any contracted work.
Bank statements/accounting spreadsheets. Gotta track how expenses are trending.
Insurance documents.
General messages. Lots of office still use a paper system for missed calls and “important” stuff because it just works better than emails and chats for some people.
Memos. Big enough office to have at least one attorney on payroll? You’re getting memos about every legal question and concern and contract. It’s how we’re trained to communicate in formal settings.
And if you want to get into modern military, the forms are numbered, and people will refer to them by either their actual name, or the number. (Have you filled out the 4187 for this? Yes, I filled out the personnel action form.)
The military has so many forms.
If you want to add a rage level, there’s the Regular Paperwork and then the special hell of Fuckup Paperwork.
Cause there’s the invoice, and the follow up invoice and the we are about to have a problem follow-up invoice.
There’s the incident report and then the I swear I yelled at that worker about this don’t be mad at me if they do it again second warning documentation
The requisition form and the it has been six months now get me the fucking thing or you’re gonna hear from Cindy escalations form.
Paperwork has layers and protocols and backups.
Ao3 does not need an algorithm, you're just lazy
Ao3 does not need a 1-5 star rating system, you just want to bring down authors writing for FREE
Ao3 does not need automatic censorship, it is an archive, therefore anything can be posted
Writing or reading about something illegal does not mean the author nor the reader condones it, if that were true, you could never read a story involving anything negative
Purity culture is ruining fan culture and you all are fucking annoying
I haven't made a plush in a hot minute and I needed a new desk buddy, so I wanted to finish this by the end of the year and I made it! He's just a very fuzzy lil guy 🦇
someone I follow on the bird app just announced they’re starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they’re reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic
I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS
I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there’s 10,000 other people that will continue…but if you participate in a fic “book club” server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?
the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don’t rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit “post”
this is directly related to this post I made about how fanfic authors now are treated like content mills, and not like valued members of a creative community who thrive on interaction. for the past decade, we’ve watched the fandom ecosystem disrupted over and over, as NSFW fan artists seek safety by putting their work behind paywalls, and self-conscious fic readers squirrel away their feelings in invite-only communities
an easy way to do your part to fight against the evils perpetrated by social media is to leave a comment on a fanfic you love
but don’t take my word for it – here are some responses that my fellow authors have left on this post:
The fact I had a fic that was fairly beloved and NO ONE commented on it because it was all being done in a fucking book club server made me want to scream.
I haven’t updated that fic in two years now.
I cannot express enough how imperative it is to show the writer how much you love their work. The comments don’t have to be novels themselves - even just an “I loved this so much!” Or keyboard smashing works wonders to keep the writer going. Please, we need to bring back supporting writers and artists now more than ever!!!
PLUS, plus…if people are talking about fic in private servers and not telling the authors, those people get the idea that the fic writer is “big.” Meanwhile the fic writer is sitting there, staring at a Google doc, struggling to find the motivation to write the next chapter, with 2 comments on a 20k fic.
They don’t feel big. They don’t feel appreciated. They don’t feel motivated. And they might stop writing or shelve their fic, never knowing that people were loving it in private.
Honestly this is the same for social media threads or even on this very app. If you can, tag the author. A lot of us have our socials in our AO3 profiles.
Feedback is lovely. Knowing what people like, what people enjoy in our writing, it’s so encouraging.
The Burning
This years #Screamtober comic, thank you for reading!
fic writers in the tags tell me the fic you're most proud of writing. any fandom, ship, no ship, any length etc. whatever work makes you go "oh i wrote this" and elaborate why if you want
Yes I like fictional characters a very normal amount. Don’t look at my blog.
you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!
unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!
tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.
bonus rules:
you're not shiny unless the wheel tells you you're shiny
take your pick of regional forms and evolutions (for example, if you roll vulpix, it's up to you whether that means normal or alolan vulpix)
apply whatever logic you like with regards to gender
have fun and be yourself!
I'll let y'all fanfic readers in on a little secret: if you find a writer who portrays your favs or that specific trope just right and you want to get more of it, the trick is reblogging or even just commenting and/or going wild in the tags, and you'll probably get more
listen, I am but a simple duck, if you feed me I'll just FEAST on those crumbs and you can bet your ass I'll come back to that pond for some additional bread crumb feasting
i will never complain about a book seeming like a fanfic with the serial numbers filed off because that means the author had the invaluable ability to tell when their au had diverged enough that these were just straight-up different characters now
even as we speak there is probably someone out there writing a delightful 100k+ word gay romance novel about a genderqueer bisexual single parent who lives in a beach town and fixes classic cars and falls in love with the sexy tentacle monster mermaid that saved their life, and that writer could probably make pretty good money self-publishing it, but they won't because that would mean admitting that they aren't really writing destiel anymore
love that despite not being in the fandom i hit the middle of the venn diagram of 'characters that the average person would never in a million years recognize as dean winchester' and 'characters that a certain subset of fans would immediately think are dean winchester' so perfectly that i've since been told i described multiple popular fics
kind of wanna reinforce this here. because i’ve seen ai writing become so popular on tik tok.
ai writing is not okay.
it’s literally theft. just like how ai art steals, ai writing steals. it’s using authors’ very real work to generate whatever you type in. and this also needs to be said as well.
writing is a form of art. fanfiction is a form of literature.
seeing this all over my fyp is REALLY discouraging. fanfic itself is already a labor of love and we love it when you interact. but please do not use ai writing for your fanfic needs when this writing literally steals from fanfic authors.
genuinely don’t know if this post will go around because my interactions outside of hcs are shit, but i hope it does.
Hi,
It’s you friendly neighbor fanfic author here. In the light of this apparent new trend of people feeding unfinished fics to AI to get an “ending,” and some people even talking about “blanket permissions,” let me just say this:
I EXPLICITLY FORBID ANYONE TO FEED MY FICS TO AI. DUDE, THAT IS ABOUT THE LEAST RESPECTFUL THING YOU CAN DO. IF YOU DO IT, SHALL YOU BE EXCOMMUNICATED FROM YOUR FANDOM AND WALK ON LEGOS BAREFOOT TILL THE END OF DAYS.
That is my anti-permission.
Thank you for your attention.
Co-signed.
And if I somehow come across mention of you doing this, I am going to track the author down, let them know, and proceed to make sure people know what kind of dirt-bag you are.
Look, I’ve been reading fic on the internet practically for about 25 years, and I have encountered many a fic I would murder several first borns to know what happens next.
I also -unfortunately- am also responsible for a few unfinished fics out there, but I want you to hear me loud and clear:
NOTHING IS ABANDONED.
I’m just working on other shit like trying to be a person, you know.
But it’s very simple: if you want to know what happens next in anything I have up, unfinished:
ASK ME.
I actually have shit written, I have outlines, I have hundreds of thousands of words stuck inside me I will vomit all over a person if even marginally asked.
Just ask my poor partner who got to listen to me talk about a massive reveal I have been sitting on for 10-15 years. (…oh Amy Bradshaw, I was merciless to you.)
I promise you right now with 1000% surety: no AI exists that will ever figure ANY of the turns I have planned.
Mind, I also know my shit is so niche and specific the likelihood of someone trying this is slim. But just fucking don’t for ANYONE.