Pura Vida

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

[melthescoutygal]

World Moot - an alternative experience

I'm currently at the World Scout Moot in Iceland. It's amazing. A beautiful location, fairly well organised, good food and plenty of great people to meet. For the 'typical' moot experience you meet as many people as you can, go to all of the activities, party all night long and seize any opportunity that becomes available to try new things. But I can't do this. The anxiety I have has a strong social component, and I can't stand crowds. As a result I am avoiding all of the ceremonies, and while I'll chat to new people, I'm not seeking that out, nor do I have the energy to do too much. Two weeks before leaving I also found out that it's likely I'll require hip surgery upon my return home. I get sore standing too much or sitting too much, and need to lie down to reset enough to keep functioning. Between these two things, I just can't do the 'normal' moot experience. Part of me hates this. It absolutely sucks not to be able to do all the things, especially when that approach seems somewhat expected. I feel like I'm wasting my time and money to be here, that I'm a bit of a waste of space and that I just don't fit in. Part of me has accepted that this is what this is. Yes, it might not be the 'normal' experience, but it's my experience, and it means I won't be a burnt out wreck by the end of it. Hopefully. I'm hoping sharing my alternative experience helps others with non-normal experiences to accept and enjoy themselves at events like these.

[melthescoutygal]

Nature is my happy place. This evening, after walking out of a TV show viewing I was met by a beautiful rainbow in one direction and a gorgeous sunset in the other. I felt so energised that I skipped down the hill towards the lake to enjoy and take photos (much to the amusement of @roverscoutproblems I'm sure). I'm pleased to be able to enjoy such wonderful sights and locations through Scouting. Makes it all worth it.

[melthescoutygal]

Towards Self-Compassion #2

Letting myself take a sick day off work

Normally, if I’m feeling unwell, I’ll push through - whether the illness is physical or mental. Today - I’m not. I have a bad cold with sore throat, head congestion, slight fever and am just not feeling 100%. I could have forced myself to go to work. But it would suck, would probably prolong me getting better, and possibly get others sick. So I’m at home relaxing, and ignoring the slight niggles of guilt that come from not doing what I’m supposed to be doing in favour of what I need to do. Winning!

[melthescoutygal]

The power of vulnerability

Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share.

For thought provoking ideas - definitely rings true for me. Though I confess, when I first watched it I simply wasn’t in the mental space to begin being vulnerable. Having re-come across Brene’s work again more recently, I’m in a place to begin applying some of her lessons. This TED Talk provides a good jumping off point.

[melthescoutygal]

Towards Self-Compassion #1

Not feeling shit about feeling shit.

Previously if I've been in a bit of a slump, I've then kicked myself for feeling bad, for not being able to do what I want to do. The other day I realised that sometimes I'm not doing that anymore - if I feel bad/down/anxious, I'm just letting myself be in that space, not making it worse by telling myself I should be stronger, should push through, etc. Nowhere near that self-acceptance, self-love, self-care, self-compassion that is the 'ideal', but a definite, noticeable step in the right direction.

[melthescoutygal]

Self-love,  self-care, self-acceptance, self-compassion

I find that all of the above terms can be a bit loaded, a bit difficult, and often just impossible. They are all interlinked, however I find that each has it’s own connotations that make them seem more or less possible.

Self-love...

...seems completely foreign and unattainable. At times I don’t feel I have enough worth to bother looking after my body, let alone even vaguely accepting who I am. I do see the worthiness of the goal of self-love, but it’s too far away to have any real meaning to me.

Self-care...

...what even is it? It seems to be becoming an industry - practices such as yoga, mindfulness, good eating, exercise are being commercialised at an alarming rate. Which I don’t think they should be! What exactly self-care is I’m not sure, but I do feel it differs for everyone. To me the term has become so loaded as ‘yet another thing I should be doing’ that I’ve given up on it, and am now trying to simply work on ‘looking after myself’. With various levels of success.

Self-acceptance...

...seems a good compromise between my current lack of self-worth and that lofty ideal of self-love. Some days it even seems attainable! While I believe that self-acceptance has to come from within, it is definitely helped by my ‘inner circle’ (for want of a better term) - those people who I feel I can be myself with and not be judged, but supported.

Self-compassion...

...I think is the meeting point of self-care and self-acceptance, encompassing both. It’s something I’m aiming for - and struggling to figure out how to do it. Through this blog I plan on highlighting the small wins with the ‘Towards Self-Compassion’ series of mini-posts. Maybe this new way of looking at it, and celebrating the small steps will help me get to something better, and with any luck, help someone else along the journey as well.

[melthescoutygal]

You have been warned...

...that this blog is about to change it’s direction.

I've decided to open up more discussions about mental health and my journey with it, hoping that my experiences may in some small way be beneficial to others.

I have suffered (yes, intentional use of that word) from anxiety and depression since my mid-teens. But most people wouldn't realise it, as I do and achieve a lot in order to not feel like the most useless, waste-of-space human on the planet.

For many years I've continued on like this. Sometimes I'll do better, and feel like maybe, just maybe, I've managed to break free of my brain. And then it all comes crashing back, and each day becomes a war - is it really worth getting up to face another day of battling myself to do anything?

In November, I had a breakdown. People have asked me why, and I can't give an answer. I think I know some contributing factors: living alone, doing lots of driving (and the associated tiredness), PMS, being away from my support networks, trying to do too much (and failing to do anything 'properly')... really I just think it had been coming for a long time.

Being the stubborn person that I am, the week I had the breakdown I continued working, pushing through each day and falling apart at night. Until Friday, when I was on the phone to a colleague and burst into tears on the phone. She did for me what I couldn't - spoke to my boss and arranged for me to have a week off.

In that week I battled with myself - I'm physically fine, I should be working! I spent as much time as possible with my wonderful boyfriend, and generally picked up the pieces of myself enough to get back into life - while letting myself not do everything.

That breakdown marked a turning point for me. I learnt that I could (and should!) take time off for myself. I learnt that help comes from unexpected places. I learnt that I can talk about and act on my mental illness and not be judged. And I'm starting to learn to look after myself, to show some self-compassion and develop some self-worth - probably the most challenging thing I've ever tried to do in my life!

Before, during and after my breakdown, I've had the support of my therapist - a lovely lady I've been seeing for a few years. Even if you don't have a mental health issue per se, but are feeling a bit confused/overwhelmed by life, I would highly recommend seeing a therapist/counsellor/psychologist. Finding the right one for you can be tricky, but it's so worthwhile.

I've also done a fair amount of reading and watching videos on various topics including mental health, self-worth, feminism, therapy... the list goes on and on. And I guess I've seen a bit of a gap - some things I see or read really resonate, and I do plan on sharing some of these through this blog. But I feel there's a gap between needing a change and getting to the change - sure, some people are covering this but it doesn't quite resonate for me.

So, after a lot of self-debate, I've decided to share some of my experiences. Somewhat selfishly, I hope that my act of opening up will help me accept myself a little better. But I also hope that someone out there will find my slightly different take on matters refreshing, thought-provoking and useful.

I make no guarantees of this being a regularly updated blog. Ultimately, I'm writing this for myself, and so posts will be added as I feel like it (though if I do go on a writing rampage, I will use the queue function rather than overwhelm your home page).

To anyone who follows me for my Scouting content - there may still be some, but nowhere near as much as there has been. Who am I kidding, I never posted that regularly anyway.

So, if you're up for it, I invite you to join in on my journey. If not, I'm not offended or anything, I'll just wish you all the best for your own journeys. Good luck!

TL;DR: shifting the blog from Scouting to my experiences with mental health. If you aren't interested in that, feel free to move on, no hard feelings.

[melthescoutygal]

@instagram just because I'm of 'prime child bearing age' doesn't mean that I want children at this point in my life, or any time soon. So can you stop making assumptions about me based on my age and gender? Quit with the fertility and pregnancy tests every time I log on!

[melthescoutygal]

I have to believe that the world can be a better place. Otherwise, what's the point?

Anonymous

[wayfarerscout]

…wait a minute…

[melthescoutygal]

One of the first things I learnt while at KISC: No one wears the 'right' scarf.

From my observations, it seems to be a rather Australian thing that we wear a scarf that represents where we're from or what we're doing - not whichever scarf happens to be at the top of the pile. There could definitely be others that share this sentiment, but the number of randomly worn scarves at KISC indicates otherwise... one of the pinkies while I was there wore an Aussie scarf for weeks. He was from the UK.

*shrugs* Whatever floats your boat.

[theauspolchronicles]

Voting Resources! - A Guide to The Election

Unsure about the upcoming Australian election? Here’s a quick list of resources to help you figure it out.

Where do I stand?

ABC Vote Compass - figure out how well you align with the 3 main parties (Liberal, Labor, and Greens).

I Stand With - another quiz to help you figure out where you stand.

These will divide things into social and economic left/right. You can be socially conservative but align with the left economically. You might discover you’re actually very central when it comes to issues. If you’re unsure where you are on the political spectrum it’s handy to start here even if you find yourself not aligning with any of those 3 parties.

What’s my electorate?

AEC - put in your post code to find out what your electorate it. This will help you discover who your MP is and who is running.

Who can I vote for?

ABC election guide (House of Reps) - Find your electorate (for instance: Batman, VIC) and it’ll tell you who is the sitting member, the margin, and the candidates running as well as their websites for more information.

ABC election guide (Senate) - Find your state. Senators work differently. There’s a set amount for the state (and far less of them) as opposed to MPs who are divided into electorates (which are areas of varying sizes). If you scroll down past the analysis it’ll give you a huge list of micro parties that want to be in the senate and links to their websites to learn more about them.

Who agrees with my values?

This section is important. Some parties might have nice sounding names like “Family First” or “Health Party” so people who haven’t researched them preference them after the party they like the most without realising that they’re homophobic or anti-science. (Though if you’re either of those things then hey, Family First and Health Party exist for people like you). I had a friend preference One Nation after The Greens because he figured it sounded nice. They are the literal opposite of what he stands for.

ABC Breakdown of big issues (Liberal, Labor, Greens only)

Figure out where your MP stands on Marriage Equality (multiple parties not just main 3)

Party positions on housing issues. (Labor, Liberal, Greens)

Animal Welfare issues (multiple parties not just main 3)

TheyVoteForYou - Search to see what issues your MP/Senators have voted for/against (you can search via post code or name). Works for those currently in office.

There’s also going to the individual websites of parties (which can be found via the ABC election guide as the candidates for HoR/Senate are listed by electorate/state and their websites) to get a good understanding of what they feel is important.

How to vote:

The AEC website has a break down for how to vote for Senate, House of Reps, and if you have to do it via postal vote, if you’re interstate, overseas, etc.

The AEC Homepage also lets you put in your postcode to discover where your local polling places are so you know where to vote on election day - very important.

Election Sausage Sizzle - find out if your polling place will have the most important thing - a good old fashioned sausage sizzle! (there’s also an option to see if there’ll be vegetarian options!)

If you haven’t enrolled to vote it’s too late to vote in this election BUT you can still enrol for future elections (and you can do it as early as age 16) so you don’t miss out next time!

Now you have all the basic resources you need for the upcoming election! Good luck everyone!

[melthescoutygal]

PSA: You're welcome Australia :-)

[youth-work-and-other-things]

Artist: Patrick Alexander

The best explanation on how to vote in Australia. All done in cartoon glory!

[melthescoutygal]

PSA - In Australia, every vote counts.

[wayfarerscout]

Never seen that much as a ‘Boot’ for a Rover - but it’s a nice touch!

[melthescoutygal]

They all represent various things that Dale got up to as a Rover... the wig was part of a costume, the 4WD because he did a lot as a Rover, the car for all the buggy effort, the beer... well you can guess! That's just the few I know.

[nerdy--penguin-blog]

Why don’t more people talk about how sexist scouting organizations can be???

[justscoutthings]

I’m seeing this get a lot of shit from people but honestly it’s very true. Here in the UK, apart from the older generation who often mistake girls in Scouts for Girl Guides, there is less sexism within Scouting. Some older leaders will poke fun at the girls being able to do what the guys can and the leader where I help will often make me help with the more ‘feminine’ tasks and often belittle my gender.

That being said, I went to the 23rd World Scout Jamboree last year. I met many different people and took part in a party a unit of American Eagle/Boy Scouts (sorry not sure about the term) were holding. It seemed to shock them that the girls were mixed with the boys in the UK. A lot of the things they said towards me and my female friend were strange and filled with subtext and towards our other friend, who was male, they talked freely with.

I read a post that some parents are concerned that if the genders are mixed, the teens will have sex. There has only ever been one incident I have heard of here in the UK, and they were both 18 and it was there last camp. They were banned permanently from the premises and all Scouting camp sites in the city.

If you’re concerned at the sight of a female that boys might jump onto them, teach your children respect and restraint. Same mentality of “don’t teach the victim to be ashamed of themselves, teach the rapist not to rape.”

[aqueerwriter]

I’m a scout in Portugal, and my experience is very similar. The leaders are mostly straight cis men, and they will, more often than not, make remarks about women. Just the other day we were volunteering at the food bank, at the storage facility, and when it was over, we were cleaning up and returning things to their places, and I was helping another scout move the tables to return them to their original positions, and one other scout was clraning the floor. Then the leader walks in, turns to me, and says “with so many women here, why is the man cleaning the floor?” and I was just taken aback. This leader had never showed anything but respect towards me, so needless to say, it was disappointing. Even younger male scouts are encouraged to behave this way towards their female counterparts. Sexism is still a thing in scouting organizations, and women are still a minority in many of them, it is something we need to fight within our organizations, by not leaving remarks like the one that leader said to me unanswered - which I didn’t. There’s also a lot of homophobia (at least in my organization), but that’s another issue, I won’t get into, otherwise I’d be here all day.

[mandy-hope-san]

Okey this hit me every time I attend an international camp. It is so different from home. I’m a Swedish sea scout (and a girl) and at home we mix girls and boys all the time. We share tents and split chores evenly and if someone even try to pull the “that’s a girls job” they are in for a serious talk with the leaders and get to do all the “girls jobs”. I mean we don’t even have girl and Boy Scout/guide just The Scouts.

I also was at the 23rd World Scout Jamboree last year and I got a Canadian male section chief and we had so big issues with each other. Every time I tried to come with some suggestion of how to improve he would play me down like I had no idea what I was doing (things like “perhaps we should put up a rule against eating peanuts here since it is an airborne allergy and people can stop breathing because of it?”) and then the discussion if guys was allowed to be without their shirt (they was) and I asked if the same applied for girls like could we just wear a bikini top he turned it sexual against me. So yeah sexism within scouting is a real thing.

[melthescoutygal]

I'm sad to say it's the same in Australia. While there are some exceptions, Scouting here is run by old, white, males. Happily, things are getting better. But not quick enough.

At the group level, it tends to be a bit better (though of course this depends on the leader of that group). But for myself and my other young female friends in Scouting, we have had to fight so hard to gain respect and be recognised for our work. And even to be recognised as our own person - not mistaken for each other as a "token young female".

We have a long way to go.

[wayfarerscout]

The Official World Scout Shop for World Scouting items: Badges, Woggles, Clothing, Camping and Travel Equipment, Books, Training Insignia, Collectors, i.SCOUT

So, aside from being a place to buy a range of Scouting-branded gear, the World Scout Shop has also taken me on to write monthly entries to their new Blog.

The first one is online now - have a read and let me know what you think :)

[wayfarerscout]

Rovers do stuff - like EnviRoVent.

[melthescoutygal]

A great weekend! I’m looking forward to hearing all about people’s projects :-)

[melthescoutygal]

Just in case you missed it cubs, you have mail... from the queen.