I don't know what I'm doing and that shows @merrysansmas - Tumblr Blog

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Just so y'all know I'm gonna be rebloging about french politics for quite a bit cause I'm freaking out and the situation is BAD.

In short, European election happened today (June 10th), the Far Right is winning in way to many cities, and our president (who is playing pretend "I'm not part of the far right I swear, vote for me to stop it") has just announced the dissolution of the National Assembly (that's a big ass part of the government) after getting the first sniff of the EU election results.

So yeah, prepare for a lot of politics related posts (and a lot of french as well)

#french politics #european union #european elections #what the fuck macron

nat-20s

You can replace [ACTIVITY YOU ENJOY] with [SCROLLING] but watch out. This sucks bad 👍

nat-20s

Some things about this post since getting quite a few notes:

1. If you see this post, highly recommend taking it as an opportunity to set a timer for 15 minutes and switch over to ACTIVITY YOU ENJOY. if after those 15 minutes, you want to go back to scrolling, that's okay!

2. Huge shout out to this popping up in my notifs often, bc I do go back to activity.

3. I think there are times where scrolling is fine. Right now, for example, I'm being connected to a machine for two hours to donate plasma and platelets. Yes this is a brag but it is also a time where scrolling is one of the few things I can do. (Though I will probably also read or watch something on phone lol)

wizard-council-bureaucrat

hmmm, this seems to be some kind of curse breaking spell… be free ye reader

thesanityclause

Over 10 years ago I drew this mother naga with her kid and a bowl of gulab jamun, and I was blown away to see people still reblogging it and saying kind things here. I decided to draw a sequel, the PTA (People That are Anacondas) meeting is over, and she finally gets to have some gulab jamun. c: I really hope this cheers you up some.

animatedamerican

My first reaction: she finally gets to have some!!

My second reaction: oh gosh they're holding tails in the second picture okay I need to reblog this.

memory-of-stargazing

“It just means you have to work double as hard as most people!”

Well maybe I don’t WANT to work double as hard as abled people!! Maybe I deserve a BREAK!! Maybe I’ve been working MORE THAN double as hard for MY WHOLE LIFE and it’s led me to immense burnout & caused me to develop several MORE disabilities!! Maybe I should be ACCOMMODATED so I don’t have to KILL MY BODY AND BRAIN over trying to do what abled people can do!! Maybe I DON’T have to work double as hard!! Maybe if there’s the option to let me NOT work double as hard, I should have it, because I’m already working double as hard JUST TO SURVIVE!!

Why do you think disabled people deserve less rest than mentally & physically abled people?

junglejim4322

Unironically I think the early to mid 20s age group in America has unbelievably bad consent boundaries on all levels and so much language to defend it but this makes me sound like elon musk if I say it however the commonality of someone who will be like “I had 47 panic attacks and it’s your fault” if you tell them no is insane

junglejim4322

I rejected someone and got called “the scariest person I’ve ever met” with so much therapy speak interspersed like alright okay alright okay alright okay

junglejim4322

“You just say whatever you’re thinking and I don’t know how to handle it” was verbatim part of this conversation. Also everyone hates to see an autistic bitch

transhumanisticpanspermia

When I was in this age bracket, there was a huge emphasis on improving consent culture via graceful rejection, and it's gone by the wayside. Which sucks.

Twice in my youth (once in high school and once in college) I was in situations where I was asking someone out and I could tell they were calculating in their heads the risks of rejecting me, and both times I said, out loud, "you can say no, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't prepared for either answer." And then they said no. This wasn't some spark of special wisdom I had - I knew to do it because feminist conversations among my age group brought it up regularly. This isn't happening nearly enough anymore.

More recently, I was really glad when we got to "rejection sensitive dysphoria" in my IOP program and it was one of those symptoms where the therapists really emphasized how it affects others. Because it does.

Being someone who cannot handle rejection makes you much more likely to violate boundaries, and yes, that includes sexual ones. Yes, you, reader who has never hurt a fly. If you don't want to stumble backwards into sexually assaulting someone, fix your RSD meltdowns. If you keep them up it's only a matter of time. Because if you're nice enough to interact with, but are known to have RSD meltdowns, guess what happens when your friends and acquaintances need to reject you?

letters-to-lgbt-kids

My dear lgbt+ kids,

If you accidentally find out someone is queer, what do you do?

You didn’t mean to snoop but you overheard a conversation that wasn’t meant for your ears, or they forgot to close a tab on a shared device, or a third person told you behind their back - no matter how it happened, you now know something they didn’t tell you. How do you act in this situation?

This question was asked to me recently, and I think it both has a clear simple answer and a lot of nuance.

If we break it down to its bare bones, the situation is really just „I know someone’s secret, what do I do“ - and the answer to that is a clear „Nothing“. You do nothing with secret information that you obtained by accident. It was never yours in the first place! You are definitely not entitled to share it with anyone else (that part is hopefully obvious) and I’d also argue you don’t tell the person.

The reason for that is simple: They didn’t tell you that information themselves - so there’s no indication that they currently wish to talk to you about this. It’s safest to assume they don’t want you to know. That doesn’t necessarily translate to „they don’t trust you“ or anything like that. They may need more time. They may not feel ready to tell anyone yet. They may want to explore their feelings without other input for now. They might just not want to talk about it. Take no personal offense, but assume that it’s not up for conversation as of now.

If you had a painful time in the closet yourself, it’s natural that you might feel a desire to „save“ others. But it’s generally best to not make any unfounded assumptions on why someone is in the closet. Real people aren’t fictional characters, we shouldn’t assign them dramatic backstories. Do not automatically assume they are struggling with self-acceptance or need to be „rescued“ in any way. There’s a big difference between „They are depressed and lonely and don’t have anyone to help them“ and „They just prefer to not share this with me“ - do not conclude the former from the latter.

That’s the clear answer - and here’s the nuance:

Safety comes first. The way you found out matters here. If (for example) you found out because a third person has forwarded you a private coming out message or shared intimate pictures they sent them, then disregard everything I said above. Do assume that this is a potential safety risk for them and tell them (in a gentle and private conversation). Outing someone behind their back can be dangerous, they deserve to be made aware that this is happening.

On the complete opposite end of „the way you found out matters“: if your friend never told you she’s a lesbian but puts up a small lesbian pride flag pin on her backpack, you do not need to pretend you don’t see it. Still do not automatically assume anything (she could just be an ally!) but consider that some people never come out in words. It’s okay to go „Cool pin!“ and leave it up to her if she wants to take the chance to say something.

Same goes if your coworker never said „I am gay“ but puts up a wedding picture of him and another man on his desk. Some relationships (especially more superficial ones, like coworkers) do not require a coming out in the sense of sitting you down and going „I need to tell you something“. Obviously still don’t go around introducing him as your gay coworker to every customer now (that’d be inappropriate and overstepping) but it’d be silly to treat it as a deep dark secret here. You can safely assume that it’d be fine to say „What a beautiful picture“ in a small-talky way.

What if it’s not quite as obvious as a pride flag or wedding picture but you feel like someone keeps dropping hints to gauge your reaction? You feel like they left that tab open on purpose to see if you’d say anything, you feel like maybe they wanted you to overhear that private phone call because they don’t know how else to tell you… that can be a tricky situation because firstly, you could still be wrong and secondly, it’s easy to overshoot your reaction. You’ll want to assure them you’re a safe person without scaring them off. Suddenly going on and on about how being gay is okay may have the opposite effect you want. Do not forcibly steer the conversation towards homosexuality if it doesn’t go there naturally, do not go „Is there anything you want to tell me?“ as that may put them on the spot. The safest approach is usually light and gentle: consider what would’ve made you feel safer back when you were in the closet. It can be something as simple as putting your own pride flag pin on your backpack or casually mentioning you’ll go to Pride this year!

In any situation, the key is that you can’t „unlock“ a coming out. You don’t go investigate and you don’t pry that door open for them specifically - all you can do is gently signal that you’re a supportive, trustworthy person, so if anyone did want to come out, they wouldn’t have to do emotional acrobatics to figure out whether you’re safe first.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

microknifeyuri

you're not an horrible person you are 15 years old

microknifeyuri

"you can be 15 years old and also a terrible person" teenagers do stupid shit all the time, adults do stupid shit all the time, what matters is that you learn about that and that you don't let that define you. you are figuring out yourself and you never really stop doing that.

microknifeyuri

this is a thing i saw on tiktok and it's been bothering me forever and ever. okay yeah you took bad decisions/hurted people/etc. but that doesn't mean that you're destinated to hurt people or to be a bad person forever and ever. perhaps at the moment you thought what you were doing was good. perhaps you were trying to protect yourself. perhaps you just didn't know any better. perhaps you thought that it wouldn't be that bad. whatever thing you've might've done on the past doesn't define you in any sort of way. you are a human being and you will do a lot of mistakes until you die. putting yourself down won't help on anything. others putting you down doesn't mean anything. don't let your mistakes be something that defines you, but let them be a reminder that you're still here and that you can grow as a person.

microknifeyuri

if this breaches containment I'll be genuinely happy. be kinder to yourselfs. life is about growing and learning, not about punishing and denying.

animentality

mikkeneko

#my family does this thing#when we've majorly unfucked a room or done chore that we were putting off#or whatever. Any sort of household Improvement.#'Come brag on me.'#I means come look I cleaned/rearranged/did dishes/put away the laundry#and the scripted response is 'oh nice it looks SO much better in here now'#like my mom did this when we were kids.#'girls comr brag on the garage I finally organized it so I can get my car in there'#and we go and 'ooh' and 'aah' and tell her how nice it looked and how she did a good job#and we could have her 'come brag on' us for like doing the dishes or cleaning our rooms#I do it to my wife now too#it's a dialogue that means#'I did a chore and it feels like an Accomplishment even if it objectively wasn't a big thing. Please acknowledge this.'#and#'Wow you sure did do a thing. It has improved our material circumstance even if only in a small way. Thank you for doing it.'#like yeah scrubbing the pans is my Job and it's a Little Task but sometimes it feels like a Big Task#and it's nice to have an Accepted Script where I can just demand 'I have functioned as an independent adult praise me with great praise' - by @thepioden

so-i-did-this-thing

Hey dude, sorry, you must get a billions asks like these, but I’m 21 and very much lost, and I don’t know what the hell im doing with my life and how I can stop being so static. Is it fucking over for me man??

Absolutely not over! No one has their shit figured out in their 20s, and you may very well end up being a dozen different people before you are 30. (I myself had 2 major breakdowns during those years. I also made the decision to transition, too, which was one of the best things I could have done for myself.)

Sounds like you either haven't found something that captures your interest hobby or work-wise, or there is something you want to do, but inertia or something else is in the way.

I had a shitty job in my 20s, but work isn't something I truly regret from those years. If I had to do it all over again, I'd:

Make being active a regular part of my life -- being in nature, jogging, even some kind of sport

Get off the computer when it felt like a chore. A lot of my video games and web browsing were just time sinks and increasingly felt like some kind of weird job.

Experiment more with hobbies and not be afraid of being bad at something for a while. I wish I picked up sewing earlier, or another instrument, or spent more time drawing.

Overall, just enjoy what I *did* have, even with my limited income. I had local parks, books to read, free events to go to, board games to play with friends, and so many crafts to try.

Of course, I'd also transition earlier, ha ha. But that is also part of a bigger theme of prioritizing my happiness, not being afraid of being messy or weird, and doing small things I had access to in order to get to know myself better, and perhaps build some positive habits.

Teens and 20s kind of suck. You're gaining agency, but don't have the resources yet to jump ahead in life. That's going to take time, and one of the best things you can do right now is get out of your comfort zone and see where your curiosity takes you.

So, maybe see what's going on locally on your next free day. Go to a pride festival, or a farmer's market, an art show, a library sale, a community walk, etc. Have a little adventure of some sort to wake your brain and mood up.

Curiosity is one of the most important qualities in happy and successful people, but you gotta feed it all the time. All the other stuff will come if you're curious, persistent, and not afraid of the occasional fuckup.

dyingroses

cheeseanonioncrisps

“A kiss may be grand, but it won’t pay the rental, on your humble flat, or help you at the automat.”

Like literally the most famous song about how much girls love jewellry is just explaining the importance of getting jewellry for when your partner leaves you penniless and alone.

ohheyheyitsjj

The founder of Girl Scouting in the US, Juliette Gordon Low, funded her first troop by selling her pearl necklace, which was her only belonging after her husband died and left everything to his mistress.

She founded Girl Scouts to teach girls self-sufficiency so they wouldn’t have to go through what she went through when her husband died and she didn’t know how to take care of herself.

penrosesun

While we’re on the subject, let’s please also remember that historically disenfranchised communities who had to worry about frequently being run out of town often bought expensive jewelry with their limited funds not because they were greedy or tacky or classless, but rather because you can’t sew a real estate investment into the lining of your coat, and the powers that be can’t freeze a diamond necklace the way that they can freeze a bank account.

shymikka

Speaking as a jeweler in America right now, I cannot tell you how many people are buying jewelry as an emergency fund. The business my spouse started and I’ve been helping with for nigh on 20 years now, we sell to the queer community. Other people, sure, but I cannot tell you how many queer folks I’ve made jewelry for.

And they are buying as much as they can right now. Genderweird people, gay men, bi folks in same gender marriages, lesbians, anyone who looks around and realizes that the noose is tightening? They’re buying what they can afford. Sometimes a little more than they can afford.

People are asking about metal purity in our jewelry. This has never happened before, not even during the first trump debacle. People are worried, wondering how they can get out if things go real bad. And I tell them how to sell their stuff for cash if they need to. How to find places that won’t cheat them.

How to get the most out of the jewelry they already have.

They play it off as a joke, most of the time, and I’ll play along to make sure they’re comfortable, but we all know the joke is only funny because it’s true.

I have warned people that they won’t get what they paid back. People who buy jewelry are trying to make money, and they don’t care about the hours put into hand crafting a piece. They care about the metal, the stones, and not much else. Folks I tell this to understand, and sometimes ask if we sell bullion. Or coins. Something that they can use in the emergency they expect is coming.

I wish I didn’t have to do this. I wish more people worried about what it says when people are planning on fleeing their homes with only what they have on their back. I wish I didn’t have a plan for what happens when my genderqueer ass is declared illegal.

But I do.

pollsforadults

Spin the wheel. Now, imagine you're on a first date with someone who says they`re a [result]. How does this affect the odds of a second date?

100% guarantee I'll want a second date

It's significantly more likely

The odds don't change

It's significantly less likely

There wont be a second date. Absolutely not

Remaining time: 1 day 14 minutes

Picker Wheel is a wheel spinner for a random picker. Various functions & customization. Enter choices or names, spin the wheel to decide a r

(anon submission)

#basque separatist #ultimately doesn't change shit #but if they were part of ETA #that's a no #too much shit came from that

kropotkindersurprise

We salute an absolute icon 🫡

gaylor-moon

captain-price-unofficially

ladyofspoons

this blog supports punching fascists

drmajalis

[contains quote post or other embedded content]

tboy-cock

🫡hero

life-on-our-planet

Gray foxes are known as mesopredators because they occupy the middle of their local food chain. They feed mainly on smaller animals while avoiding nearby apex predators like coyotes and bobcats. One of their techniques is to climb trees using their powerful hooked claws. They're capable of climbing branchless, vertical tree trunks up to nearly 60ft (18m). ©Texas Backyard Wildlife

nightmare-from-heaven

odyver

alright I've got to do some quick math to explain attitudes towards AI to my boss.

we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)

please rb for larger sample size!

Question 1/3

What is your age, and do you feel AI is a net positive or net negative in our lives today?

under 18, AI is a net positive

under 18, AI is a net negative

18-29, AI is a net positive

18-29, AI is a net negative

30-45, AI is a net positive

30-45, AI is a net negative

46-60, AI is a net positive

46-60, AI is a net negative

over 60, AI is a net postive

over 60, AI is a net negative

Voting ended onJun 11

odyver

Question 2/3

How often do you visit or interact with museums/archives (whether in person or online)?

Frequently (multiple times per month)

Often (multiple times per year)

Occasionally (a couple times per year)

Rarely (once every couple of years)

Never :(

Voting ended onJun 11

odyver

Question 3/3

If you saw a museum was using AI in exhibits, marketing, research, etc., would you be more or less inclined to visit that museum?

under 18, more inclined

under 18, less inclined

18-29, more inclined

18-29, less inclined

30-45, more inclined

30-45, less inclined

46-60, more inclined

46-60, less inclined

over 60, more inclined

over 60, less inclined

Voting ended onJun 11

Thank you for helping with this data collection. Please rb for as big a sample as possible!

🫶

noshamehustle

formerglory25

reblog if you too are bi and confused or support others’ right to be bi and confused

twocubes

people want doing the right thing to be like pulling the correct lever at the correct time but actually usually doing the right thing is more like holding a moderate weight at arm's length continuously for seventeen years

twocubes

every so often since like, March, this post will spike in popularity, and I'll just suddenly know that a few thousand people somewhere are Going Through it for reasons I cannot know in any detail, like I'm some small node in our collective lymbic system that doesn't actually know what to do with the signals it's given. it's interesting.

tj-crochets

My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember” And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”

tj-crochets

Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½

tj-crochets

I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!” So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is

tj-crochets

Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone

tj-crochets

Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!

tj-crochets

An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month

tj-crochets

Happy pride month!!

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