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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
YOU ARE THE REASON
Show & Tell
d e v o n
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AnasAbdin
Discoholic 🪩
PR's Tumblrdome
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Claire Keane
Today's Document
if i look back, i am lost
roma★
NASA
No title available
Acquired Stardust
tumblr dot com
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@metasavant
there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them
I use spicy to describe food
my food is mentally ill and I’m putting my dick in it
Twilight
remember when websites were written on purpose, and not generated by autocomplete in the instant you run the web search? anyway, unrelated, this webpage purporting to relay expert knowledge on which plants are safe for my snake's tank just told me I would know if he was biting them and getting irritated because he would start pawing at his mouth.
i mean, that sure would be a sign something was wrong
the plant that makes you grow extra legs
honestly we need something written about how dracula daily enhances the experience of dread reading dracula.... like it's been WEEKS since we last heard from jonathan harker so when we got this update today (my partner and i read it together at night) i literally went OMG HE'S ALIVE????
this is the most underrated part of rockin’ and rollin’ yoda
Luke’s face is what makes this.
context (via @mellorocket)
doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay
Okay but Elmo had actually the best and sweetest response to all this trauma dumping:
And then all the other Sesame Street character accounts joined in:
And now I’m thinking maybe we’re gonna be okay… 💗
(Comment compilation from this Twitter)
I kinda feel for the poor person running Elmo's Twitter.
"So, boss... I may have messed up."
"What did you do, Ray?"
"Well, I made a post for Elmo saying 'Hi, how's everybody doing?'"
"I mean, that's kind of what we pay you for."
"Yeah, but.... <sigh> it turns out pretty much everyone is hanging on by a thread, badly enough that they needed to tell Elmo."
"Oh."
"God help me, boss, I think Elmo needs to be there for them."
"Get the others."
this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.
and important addition
Source: instagram
Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust
#a samurai with a flintlock pistol sitting next to a guy dressed as a caveman drinking a styrofoam cup of dr pepper#and it fucks severely
It's not THE renaissance, it's A renaissance. Of what? Up to you
I understand some of you are 19 but that is not an old man, he's 32.
NEW LIKE ANIMATION JUST DROPPED
likes are gay now
But there's no trans to this. Is there Tumblr? Fuck you transphobic staff
oh i need to kill a few staff members
also they have some guts adding the black and brown colours after they banned so many black people.
After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.
Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.
I absolutely failed at doing this:
A doll youtuber I watch has made a video about the history of Polly Pocket, and she's describing the plots of the dvd specials, one of which features an elderly woman named Ms. Throckmorton, and my reaction was
Don’t mind me just up at 1 am thinking about how Mina and Lucy never got to say goodbye
Pokemon the anime Was just an extended horse movie metaphor
If you replace pikachu with an unruly yet loving horse nothing changes
“Well, I do have one left, the most unruly pokemon in my possession. He knows no master and can only kick things.”
And ash is just a horse girl with bad hair so he trains the horse even though it did rupture his spleen multiple times with its beautiful legs
“Get me that pikachu with the beautiful legs, I need him for the Big Race.”
james voice: Yee haw pardner
Pokemon Heritage Post
I hope Terry Pratchett knew about this
[ID: a tweet (@/hedgehog_…) that reads, “are there any straight paramore fans”. a retweet by @/paramore reads, “Not this month there aren’t. Happy Pride everyone.” both tweets are dated June 2. /end ID]
i wish this was in my cart and not someone else’s
you can just take it from their cart. its not their possession if they haven't bought it yet
if i were thrift shopping and you put your hands into my cart to take a unique handpicked item i was intending to purchase i would break your legs
