Just Some Guy @the-kazoo-kid - Tumblr Blog

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onecricket

alienfuckerdeluxe

Aliens: Wow you guys sure are completely normal and not at all indescribably horny.

NASA *beating the alien fuckers with a broom*: Yep. Just a completely normal species. no inappropriate lusting for extraterrestrial booty here, no sir.

I couldn’t let this be hidden in the replies

eyesofthesunflower

[ID: reply by lusciouslusus that reads,

“We zoom out slightly to reveal the aliens are ALSO beating their own alien-fuckers away with a space-broom.”

End ID]

gaynaturalistghost

As an asexual, I vibe with NASA on this one. It’s… a metaphor.

tench

I don’t. Let them out

dragongirldreams

pocketss

What’s up with dragons do they shed their skin? Do they feel all smooth and shiny and soft when they shed?

elenafisher-archive

mavenmemnon

caesarsaladinn

“the mind of a medieval person was foreign and incomprehensible” factoid is false. the average medieval person was pretty normal. the chivalric death cult, whose members were known to literally die if prevented from riding to war, was an outlier and should not have been counted

caesarsaladinn

On hearing of Anjou’s death, a tailor of Orleans named Guillaume le Jupponnier, when “overcome with wine,” burst into a tirade in which can be heard the rarely recorded voice of his class. “What did he go there for, this Duke of Anjou, down there where he went? He has pillaged and robbed and carried off money to Italy in order to conquer another land. He is dead and damned, and the King St. Louis too, like the others. Filth, filth of a King and a King! We have no King but God. Do you think they got honestly what they have? They tax me and re-tax me and it hurts them that they can’t have everything we own. Why should they take from me what I earn with my needle? I would rather the King and all kings were dead than that my son should be hurt in his little finger.”

worse-than-konstantin-levin

Get more from David Forbes on Patreon

I went looking for more information on Guillarme le Jupponier, and found this article, which points to a slew of similar speeches in European and US history-- and, crucially, the fact that Guillarme le Jupponier was released after that speech, not tortured or executed, because it was acknowledged that his sentiments were extremely common.

caesarsaladinn

Studying nearly 1,100 rebellions in France, the Low Countries and Italy stretching back to 1200 the historian Samuel Cohn discovered that instead of hat-in-hand deference, “genuine, heartfelt hatred for a king or queen is easy to find.”

can we pause on that? 1100 rebellions?!?

makingtrouble

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

makingtrouble

Actually I've decided this is a poem

disgruntled-lifeform

Stolen from reddit where it wasn't being properly appreciated

leiyahime

"Indigo dyeing silk thread"

In case anyone wonders what the Japanese is saying

torkmatic

I just learned about this recently from a Viking reenactor! Indigo dye isn't blue until it oxidizes, so when you dye with indigo your cloth or thread doesn't come out of the water blue, it comes out and then reacts with the oxygen in the air and seems to spontaneously turn blue in front of your eyes. It's a really cool process to witness.

monkeyislandtwo

fonts will be named shit like viscera antique, 16 bit dreams, doctor's orders, bingo condensed, googly, wish you were here

equos-bipes

for your consideration

onecells

YOU🫵'RE 🫵 NE->XT.!! moTHERFUCKER!!!!

GET LOVED!!!!!!!!!!

userfish

my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.

creez-un-compte

Your monkeys ?

thereisalesbianintheforest

those aren’t mine.

anxietyproblem

darlingofdots

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

playwrongs

Tags via @deadpanwalking, editor and ass-kicker extraordinaire

gingisnap

Please keep making art. Please make it for yourself. Please don’t let everything become even more of the same flat general appeal nonsense that doesn’t seem to have anything to say

bookshelfdreams

hey so - we frogged your boyfriend. The pattern wasn't working out and we'd rather use the materials for something else. Yeah, we unraveled all of him, wound him into balls and put him back in the stash. Sorry. You can help us pick out a new pattern, if you want.