warnings: mention of suicide, blood, general zombie-ness
“Please.” His voice was pained, rasping from the back of his throat like the growls of the monsters banging on the door. He was on his knees, looking up at you with white eyes- no pigment, no pupil, just milky white covering what used to be one of his best features.
The sight made your stomach turn. Especially because, thinking back on it, you had no real idea what his eyes looked like.
“Don’t let me die like this.” Are those tears dripping down his cheeks, melding with the rainwater and blood dripping from his hair, or is it your brain playing tricks on you?. He grabs at your wrist, and his skin is cold. Too cold.
You stumble back, your back almost hitting the metal door behind you before you stop yourself. Something about the look on your face must have been so horrible that it sent him into a panic, his words melding together into something that sounded closer to a scream.
As if possessed, your hand was moving, flicking at the safety of the gun and aiming. Square at his forehead, the perfect angle. Just like the way you’d trained yourself. Just like you’d done a million times, blowing the brains of mindless drones onto concrete floors and city streets. But he wasn’t a mindless drone, he was him.
How could you do this to him?
His hand grasped at your wrist, just as cold as before, but stable. Cold, but holding you the same way you had experienced so many times, his whole hand wrapping easily around your wrist and keeping you grounded. But now, instead of steadying you as he ran, he was holding a gun to his own head.
“Please.” His voice was barely audible, breaking before he got to the end of the word. “I love you, don’t-”
His lips are parted when the bullet enters his brain, but it seem like he lasts a moment before hitting the ground. His mouth closes, settling into a half smile. How many times have you seen that expression before?
You feel the cold barrel of the gun against your own head, pressing into the skin, and you take a gasping breath. The banging is louder now, throbbing in your skull as his blood spreads, reaching your shoes.
Do you pull the trigger?
You groan, turning onto your side to grab at the ringing phone next to you. The light blinds you for a moment, sending you retreating back into your blankets with a whine.
An unknown number.
Really? According to the far too bright time in the top corner of your phone, it’s just past three in the morning. There is nothing- not even a death in the family- important enough that an unknown number should be ringing your phone at three in the morning.
You turn your phone to silent, and turn back onto your side.
Thirty minutes later- then an hour- then an hour and a half, and you’re still squeezing your eyes shut, trying to fade back into whatever eerie dream you were having earlier. Shooting a blurry faced man was, well, in terms of your dreams, unique. Usually, they were shitty deja-vu moments, like flashing forward into the cereal isle only to notice that they were out of cheerios. Not that you ate cheerios(the texture when they sat in milk too long was sickening), but still. Shitty foresight, or maybe just your brain hearing about a cheerio shortage and processing it.
You were starting to get hungry, thinking of standing in a grocery store. You’re supposed to go tomorrow- today, actually, thanks to Mr. No-Name, and you were already anticipating buying a chocolate bar. Or two. Maybe Diana would want one, and you could but popcorn and have a crappy movie night on the beat up couch.
You hadn’t heard Diana come in, actually. Usually, she’d stomp in with her boots half laced, loudly slamming doors just past midnight and making plain ramen. No flavor packets or anything, just boiled noodles.
The sicko.
You turned to your phone, tapping your password in only to be greeted with the fact that you are wrong. The second time it works, much to your annoyance, and you immediately click to your calls.
15 missed calls from Unkown.
Okay, what the hell.
3 new voicemails from unknown.
A pit settles itself in your stomach, nausea crawling unexpectedly up your throat. Who is so insistent on calling you this late? Your finger hovers above the button that plays through your voicemail box, and for some reason, you can’t seem to press it.
your voice is completely monotone. it's too close to the end of your shift for you to pretend to care about a customer who comes in 3 minutes before close. honestly, you were tempted to tell them to serve themselves, but your manager would kill you if you got another negative review.
"no- maybe?"
he has got to be kidding.
he barely looks older than you, his dark hair dripping water all over your freshly swept floors. no umbrella, just a hoodie so soaked that it probably weighed 50 times its normal weight. everyone at university knows about the student discounts provided by every shop in the area, including the one you were currently standing in.
"we don't offer a maybe discount, but i can search your name if it would help." you offer, a forced smile finding it's way onto your lips. his jaw drops in a barely noticable expression of shock at the sarcasm in your voice, but he fishes out his student ID anyway, pressing it onto the counter in front of you.
you glance down at it, taking in the low resolution image of the boy standing in front of you, this time with an unreadable expression that was probably concealing annoyance at how long the lines are.
"name. not ID."
"jeno lee." he responds, eyeing you with a weird expression, almost like he can't tell if he should be reporting you or not. "it's spelled j-e-"
"i can spell just fine." you retort, plugging his name into the system.
no matching results
you retry the name, again receiving the slanted text instead of a student profile. he's staring intently, and you match his gaze, meeting his eyes with annoyance.
"sir, do you go here."
"try jaemin na." he responds, pushing himself half-way over the counter and way to far into your personal space. "j-a-e-"
"i'm not putting in some frat guy so you can get 50% off coffee." you his, jabbing his hands of the counter with a sharp movement. "try somewhere else, they might fall for it."
he raises an eyebrow, stepping back and finally relents, sliding his card against the screen of the card reader. "fine."
you slide his drink across the counter, shooting him a tight-lipped smile. "have a nice day."
the look he gives you as he walks out the door is nothing short of distainful.
the next day, cather flashes you an instagram post off of na jaemin's account, giggling about a cute new frat boy in a way that makes you want to throw up. but the face catches your attention- the same face you had so blatantly disregarded just last night.
the first time you met him, it was a shocker he’d managed to make it to college at all. the ruffled hair tucked under a light blue hood, eyes drooping in obvious exhaustion despite the class being just before lunch. and on the second day, too.
his absolute absence from any memories of last sunday’s class would suggest that he didnt even bother to be present for the first day. but whatever. it’s not like this class was a great opportunity despite it’s screwy scheduling. it’s not like the professor had come out of retirement just to teach this class. whatever.
this isnt even your business.
glancing back up at the professor was enough to show you that you had already missed half the class, content wise. and your notebook was shockingly bare, the thin lines only decorated with the name of the unit in neat black pen rather than the usually lines and lines of detailed notes.
shit.
not a great way to start the semester. not a start at all, judging by the fact that the writing of the title was smudged and just the slightest bit crooked- the h in human tilted to the left in a way that sent the whole word out of line. the mounting urge to yank the whole sheet out replaced with a flash of shock as the blue hooded boy snaps his fingers in front of you.
“class is over.” his voice has a slight rasp, like he’s just at the tail end of a bad sore throat and didn’t bother to drink enough tea. “you’ve been staring at that paper like it owes you money.”
“it does.”
the deadpan response leaves your lips without your permission, a silent moment hanging in the air before the boy’s eyebrow quirks upwards, a slightly amused expression pulling at his face.
it’s nice.
he doesn’t look half as useless like this. his cheekbones are strong, and his eyes crinkle just a bit when his lips move into a half smile. and his hood has slipped back a bit, his hair slipping over his forehead. he’s pretty, the dark strands of his hair adding to the look, same with the heavy dark lashes framing his eyes. he moves back, stretching out, the bottom of his hoodie pulling up to reveal that he probably works out.
scratch that, he probably skipped the first class to work out.
“well, you can take that paper to court then. see if the case pans out.” he quips back, finally standing. he’s rather tall, or maybe you were just used to him being half laid out on the desk.
“i already set up the court date. it won’t get away with this.”
you feel the urge to shake your fist at the paper, like a supervillain scorned by defeat, but you resist, not wanting to come off as stranger than you already did. after all, glaring at a piece of lined paper after class ends is not the best way to seem like a well-adjusted adult.
he picks up his bag, which is sagging with the weight of whatever’s inside, the material so stretched it looks like it’s going to collapse. sleeping in class with a bag full of... books? unlikely, since he slept through class, but it’s the only thing that could make even an inkling of sense.
he’s walking backwards now, his bag now slung over one of his shoulders, the smile still on his lips. “i’ll be there. gotta make sure my seatmate wins their case.”
you open your mouth to respond, but he’s already turned around and disappeared behind the door without another sound.
my love is mine, all mine I love, mine, mine, mine nothing in the world belongs to me but my love, mine, all mine nothing in the world is mine for free but my love, mine, all mine, all mine
you have no idea how excited i am to read my request!! thank you so much! you’re my fav writer on here so i don’t mind the wait at all! i hope you are doing well/better. get some rest 💗💗 -🐡
i really hope you enjoyed it!! if you have any other requests id be happy to take them and i am completely fr this time, it won't take me 15 years to complete. im totally doing better and it's summer so i can write much more now. i hope you're doing well too<33
jealous mark leaving bruises on your thighs, eating you out for hours after you flirt with others in front of him -🐡
yess this so much<33
+mean!mark, lowkey toxic, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it yall), wall sex
when you had first met mark, you'd been told he was nice.
such little information to start off such a large part of your life. but it was true, he was nice. he was he boyfriend who always had a hair tie on his wrist for you and let you keep his sweater- so many times that he'd had to buy more. after your first date, he'd remembered your coffee order, which was such a small gesture but it just confirmed everything you'd heard. he was nice.
but you never really settled for nice.
well, you did. you'd been dating him for nearly a year now, and there's no way you'd trade him for any other guy. but you did always crave a bit more.
and you weren't stupid. you'd seen the way his jaw clenches when jaemin makes a joke you giggle at, or when donghyuck wrapped his arm around your shoulder and quipped stealing you from mark. no, you definitely weren't stupid enough to miss the way he dragged you home, barely making it through the front door without pushing you against the wall and kissing you feverishly.
so you pushed him.
it was so simple, with him being so easy to read. you'd brushed him off to go study with renjun, or came back from a run with jeno in those yoga pants he loved so much. and when donghyuck had sent you a text about a new bar opening not too far away, you'd left it open on your phone, right in front of mark.
and of course, his jaw had clenched and he'd looked between you and the phone, tapping his fingers as if that was going to help him calm down.
"can i come?"
you'd pretended not to hear him, pulling your hair up and furrowing your brows until he'd asked again, this time with an edge in his voice. and you'd cheerily said yes, asking him to pick between a velvety navy dress and a red one, to which he had immediately gone for the blue one.
"donghyuck likes this one best too!" you giggled, turning to pick out a pair of heels. "he says this is his favorite pair of heels to go with it."
donghyuck had said nothing of the sort. in fact, he'd expressly told you that you sucked at walking in heels, and had strutted back and forth half-drunk the last time you'd worn them. but the effect on mark was instantaneous and ideal.
"i'm starting to think you're dating donghyuck." he was obviously trying for a joking tone, but the words came out raspy and deeper than normal. "i thought my opinion was most important."
"aww babe..." you coo, walking over to face him, fingers running over his shoulder to fix the wrinkle he hadn't bothered to notice. "know your place."
you were halfway surprised he hadn't just pulled you into bed then, but some 20 minutes later you'd managed to make it into the booth donghyuck had reserved, sipping at a sweet cocktail that tasted like a mix of pineapple and vodka that hyuck had shoved in front of you, demanding you try it.
mark had not seemed amused.
but you had, and you'd proceeded to take it from him and claim it as your own. hyuck had left, mumbling something about buying more drinks and getting fries.
"what in the world made you so upset?" you whine, sliding into the seat next to mark and tugging at his cheek. "don't tell me you wanted to try the drink."
his eyes roll and he moves away from you, scrunching his nose like a child. "i don't want donghyuck's nasty ass drink."
"this is why i like him more than you." you quip, mirroring his expression. "hyuck is fun and you-"
the drink is pulled from your hands and downed before you can realize what had happened. the whole drink, even the bright red cherry that you'd been saving for last. you'd protest, but jaemin is already sliding next to you, jeno right behind him.
jaemin is already talking, something about how jeno had burned a hand towel while cooking, and you're distracted for just a moment, just enough time to miss mark's triumphant half smile when he puts the glass back on the table. and he doesn't even like pineapple.
somehow, mark's final straw is when donghyuck returns to the table, balancing a 5 different drinks in his arms. three of the cocktails, one topped with a strawberry that he puts in front of jaemin, who rolls his eyes and pulls the strawberry off, pressing it against your lips expectantly. you grin, biting at it as jaemin flashes a middle finger at donghyuck before finally trying the cocktail. the other two drinks, beers, go in front of mark and jaemin, the former downing it all at once at the sight of jaemin feeding you.
donghyuck drops into the seat next to jaemin, pushing your drink in front of you with a roll of his eyes. "honestly, mark, why am i buying drinks for your girl. at this point, she'd might as well just date me."
the speed at which mark stands is shocking. he's away from the table before anyone can move to stop him, and he's downing a drink before at the bar you had even reached him. the empty glass drops from his hand, and the other wraps tightly around your wrist. there's a misty, far off look in his eyes, like he cant really see past whatever emotion is shining in his dark eyes.
"mark are you okay? come sit down" you murmur, tugging your wrist weakly back to you. "donghyuck was just joking, he was just messing around."
he's silent for a moment- which is incredibly unusual for the usually chatty man, but even more unusual because the look in his eyes isn't the normal misty-eyed in-love look that makes your heart flutter. no, there's distain in his eyes, a weird fury that could be directed at you or donghyuck or anyone.
"i'm leaving." he snaps, sliding a twenty dollar bill onto the dark wood of the bar. "you can go home with donghyuck."
"i'm going too!" you protest, struggling a bit to keep up with his long stride. "mark let's talk about thi-"
"shut up." his voice is harsher than usual, and deeper too. it's like his morning voice, but less raspy from sleep and more raspy for pure anger. but it shut you up, just like he knew it would. "you're such a brat. do you need more than one guy? are you a fucking slut?"
no
but your lips stay pressed together. he's not even really talking- it feels more like spitting insults by the way his voice has changed from its normal tone- but his words are still filling your stomach with warmth. he's really angry, his eyes are dark and he's standing like he's a moment away from yelling or something, but he looks really fucking hot like that.
"you are, aren't you? you don't have anything to say for yourself?" he snaps, and you step forward, not quite knowing if you want to calm him down or see what happens when he snaps.
"i'm sorry mark, i-"
"not this time, babe. i don't even think you're smart enough to know what that means." he's stepping towards you, his voice dropping further than you'd known was possible. "sluts only understand one thing, right? getting fucked is the only thing you understand."
yeah he's really fucking hot like this.
he doesn't touch you the whole way home. not once, and he barely manages to look at you. he looks pissed off, his jaw is tight and his eyes are darker than ever. but when the door closes-
"i should make you choke on my dick, but you'd probably get off on that, wouldn't you?" it feels like he's towering over you, your back pressed to the wall. "i think i'll just fuck you right here instead."
his fingers are pressing the hem of your dress up, his other hand closing around your wrist until you get the hint to hold the skirt in place. and then his hand is wandering under your panties, barely giving you a moment to prepare for two of his fingers pressing into you.
"you're already dripping. is it for donghyuck, or is it for me? do you even know the difference?" hes able to find the spot that makes your legs go weak so fast you dont have time to prepare, you knees buckling and your face pressing into his shoulder. "maybe we should both fuck you and find out if you're smart enough to tell."
you should both fuck me and find out
you don't say that, of course. even if you did want to rile him up, you wouldn't be able to say it with the way he's pressing his fingers into you. and then he's not anymore, and your hand almost drops from your skirt to grab him and press him back, but he's already on his knees and oh god-
his tongue is so rough, and so hot, and it's fucking everywhere. on your clit, and then pressing into you, and then it's replaced by his fingers again and he's sucking on your clit and you can't tell if it's pain or pleasure but your legs aren't working properly and the only thing keeping you from sliding down the wall is his hand pressed against your stomach, keeping you in place.
he was normally more careful, more caring, but hes so fucking rough today that the knot in your stomach forms without you even noticing. his tongue is on your clit, still, but its light, not nearly enough pressure to do anything but make you want more. and the contrast with the way his fingers are roughly pressing into you hurts- it feels wrong, but it doesnt stop you from begging for him. he mumbles something, but you just tangle your fingers in his hair.
wrong move.
"hold the fucking dress or i rip it." he snaps, grasping both of your wrists in one hand while he stands. his other hand goes to undo his belt, and you can feel tears welling up and your eyes. "or are you too dumb for that too?"
yes, no, maybe, just please let me cum.
"no" you mumble, returning your hand to your skirt and hiking it up. your thoughts don't dare to leave your lips, you'd never get to cum again if they did. "im not too dumb."
"good girl. now jump."
you're pressed against the wall, your legs wrapped around him and his dick pressing into you just slightly. he's teasing, letting the head of his cock sink into you just to pull out again.
"beg, darling. you have to show me you know how to behave." his voice isn't angry anymore, but the deepness and rasp are still there. he's teasing, he's being mean and he knows it.
"mark please, i wan't you so bad please-" your words are slurred as you try to shift your hips to envelop him properly. "please, i don't want donghyuck i want you."
his hips snap forward the moment hyuck's name leaves your lips. it hurts, but barely and you're already begging for more, the slurred words escaping your lips without you even thinking.
"say his name again, baby, since you want him so bad." he says, his lips on your neck. "be a good girl and say his name for me."
"donghyuck please" you whine, and he's pulling out only to slam back in again. "don't tease anymore, please, donghyuck"
he's slamming into that spot that makes your sight fill with white and you're moaning hyucks name like a slut, like the slut he thinks you are. he's cooing something in your ear and you can barely hear it above the sound of his hips hitting yours, and he's somehow managed to move a hand to your clit, pressing down just hard enough that the pleasure sits right on the line of pain.
"hyuck im so close" you whine, letting your dress drop and your hands dig into his shoulders. "it feels so good"
and then he stops.
"nononono please" your voice is shaky and you might be crying, you can't tell anymore. "hyuck- mark, please no"
"sluts don't get to cum." he says flatly, pulling out of you and letting you stand on shaky legs. "moaning for him like that- let him finish you off."
he steps back, and you stumble towards him, almost tripping with how horribly your legs are shaking. "you didn't cum yet. let me make you cum, mark, please."
"oh baby, i can always jerk off. you can't get off without me, we both know that." he presses a kiss to your forehead, and you're grasping at his arms weakly, but he just pulls your hands off and steps back again. "goodnight, baby. sleep well."
and then he's gone, somewhere up the stairs. you're still standing there when the shower starts, your legs shaking from the memory of his touch. like a slut.
uhm am i back? mayhaps
anyway 🐡 im so sorry if the eating out scene is not nearly as long as requested, i rewrote it like 4 times and i don't think i got it right but i hope its still okay! and im horribly sorry for the long wait time, life was kicking my ass.
a/n :: my first ever fic ?!?!?!? WHAT. i hope you all like it <3 (hopefully it isn't too trashy)
"I'm sorry," you say nuzzling your head into Mark's shoulder.
Today was just one of those days where you need to cry for a while in your boyfriend's arms. You need to get everything out, stress about your future, school, your 'friends' - or, lack thereof - and your family. You know they love you, you know that. But sometimes they just don't understand. They don't understand anything.
Your head is buried in the crook of his shoulder. You breathe in his scent. So sweet. His head rests on top of yours and he is running his hand up and down your back in an attempt to comfort you. Your hearts beat together and the sound almost sounds melodic, you could lay like this with him for hours, and you both didn't even have to speak, the sound of your heartbeats conveyed words neither of you could verbally express.
"Shh, baby, it's okay, yeah? I'm right here." Mark coos in your ear, reassuring you. His voice always eased your heart. You hug him tightly in response, being grateful to have a boyfriend like him. He starts patting your head and kisses your forehead fondly, "I'm proud of you for getting through today," he says with his voice low. Mark knew how hard you had it and so he always tried to give you all his love, all the time, because you deserved nothing less. Your breath hitches at this and you cry harder, what did I ever do to deserve him, you think to yourself.
Mark notices your actions and smiles to himself, he truly loves you. He would do anything for you.
It's only you and Mark, on his bed, the moon is the only source of light in the room. You like having moments like this. They feel intimate, they feel real. You look up at Mark through glistening eyes, but even through the tears, Mark looks as beautiful as ever in the moonlight. Mark smiles, finally being able to look at you. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear before he says the words that somehow always manage to make your heart flutter, "I love you, y/n, so so fucking much," sincerity so evident in every word, it ties your stomach in knots, "always remember that."
You and Mark have been saying 'I love you' for about four months now. And it wasn't like this was your first boyfriend you said those words to. Maybe it was the way those words rolled off his tongue so naturally and poetically, or maybe it was the way he looked at you with hearts in his eyes when he said them. But either way, it felt magical. Every. Single. Time.
You were hopelessly in love with Mark Lee, and he was hopelessly in love with you. And as you said "I love you too, Mark," with a soft voice, your heart skipped a beat, and you wished upon every star that this love would last forever and ever.
im sorry to announce that this is no longer a kpop smut account, and it will be converted into a leon kennedy stan account. i appreciate all your support in this trying time.
what’s the groups you strictly won’t write? as in, can i out in a request for stray kids or no?
hi!! while im not totally sure what my hard limits are surrounding what groups i will and won't write for(i just don't vibe with some members of some groups yk) i can pretty safely say that all of stray kids can be requested<33
in the middle of writing an nct apocalypse/tlou au chapter 1 and i feel like i should make y'all vote on the mc's actions and each action will have a consequence that results in emotional damage
ill be so confident about a fic and then realize i described mark like this: "you're not quite sure of how mark fits into the fuckboy group, since, according to donghyuck, the blueness of his balls would fit well into the avatar sequal" so anyway im gunna go die
