TIERNA'S OFF THE SEI LIST. SO IS SAVY FOR ANGEL CITY. also, we have a new chelsea girly joining us at gotham. guro reiten. gabi portilho is now at san diego wave. ella stevens and josefine hasbo are both now at boston legacy.
I SAW!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR BOTH OF THEM!!! seeing both back on the pitch the past couple of weeks is amazing!
when I tell you my jaw dropped at the news of Guro coming to Gotham, it would be an understatement. I never pictured her coming to Gotham. though from the sounds of things, more Chelsea players are to follow...👀👀
Those three leaving hurt a bit more than anticipated. Ella and Josefine, I get it since I don't remember either of them getting much playing time last season, but Gabi was a bit of a shock, but if she's happy in San Diego, I'm happy for her!
Sorry for such a late reply to your ask! I've been working through some personal things and haven't been online much in recent weeks. I'm hoping to get back to normal-ish soon!!!
Summary: The Arsenal girls meet their new signing's wife.
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: None
This will be my last post. Thank you guys for reading!!
"Babe, have you seen my water bottle? I'm running late for training!" Jenna calls out to her wife, rummaging through her kit bag for the bottle, already dressed in her training kit to save time for when she eventually gets to the training grounds.
"Jen, honey, you asked me to wash It yesterday when you got home. It's right here." Y/n says holding the bottle in her hand that she grabbed from the drying rack in the sink, still dressed in her pajamas. Jenna stops her search, turning to her wife, a sheepish smile on her face. She sets her bag aside moving to grab the bottle from her wife.
"What would I ever do without you?" Jenna asks, bottle now in hand as she stands on her tip toes to press a kiss to her wife's lips in thanks. Y/n rests her hand on Jenna's waist, thumb brushing over the skin exposed from underneath Jenna's training top.
"You never have to find out." Y/n says as the two part, "Now hurry before you have to run laps." Y/n chuckles pushing Jenna away slightly. The younger one nods rushing off to fill her bottle before she leaves. She presses one last kiss to her wife's lips as she passes by her, grabbing her bag and rushing out of their shared apartment. "Be careful driving!" Y/n calls after Jenna hoping she heard her.
The couple have been in London a couple of months since Jenna officially signed with Arsenal in the January transfer window. Before that both were living in New York City while Jenna was playing for Gotham. Since Y/n works as a ghost writer she can work from anywhere in the world at anytime. Plus with her latest book being published recently she has a lot more free time. Which has helped with moving and helping Jenna get everything settled in London.
As Y/n moves to sit on the couch in their living room, tea in hand, to watch her show while she waits for Jenna to get back, she trips over something luckily catching herself before she spilt any of her tea or fell. She glances down, rolling her eyes when she spots Jenna's cleats on the ground in front of the couch. They must have fallen out of her kit bag when she was searching for her water bottle.
"That woman would lose her head if it wasn't attached," Y/n mumbles setting her tea on the coffee table. She rushed to their shared room throwing on a pair of blue jeans and a plain dark gray t-shirt with her black leather jacket and a pair of socks before rushing back to the living room. She grabs Jenna's cleats, as she moves to the front door slipping her sneakers on before grabbing her wallet and keys, thankful for thinking to have both her and Jenna's cars shipped to London from the states as she locks the front door rushing to her car. She quickly gets in the car setting Jenna's cleats on the passenger seat, buckling her seatbelt and pulling out of their driveway and making her way to the Arsenal training grounds.
After the short drive, she parks in an open spot before rushing into the building, slipping through the open door behind what looked to be a staff member having forgot the card she was given that allowed her access to the training center, hoping to be able to find Jenna or where the locker room is. Sighing in relief when she spots two blondes in what looks to be a lounge room with a chocolate lab settled on the couch between the two enjoying the attention they're receiving as the two girls converse. She quickly walks up to the duo clearing her throat to gain their attention. The two turn and look at Y/n in confusion.
"Uhhh hi, I'm looking for Jenna?" Y/n says, though it sounds more like a question, as she shifts on her feet nervously at the looks she's receiving from the two. Jenna's boots firmly in her hands, resting behind her back. The duo stands from their seats, the dog looking at the two in confusion as to why the pets had stopped.
"Who are you? And how did you get in here? You need a badge to get in," The shorter of the two blondes asks, moving to likely call security, causing Y/n to panic slightly. Though before Y/n can respond a new voice joins them.
"Y/n?" Y/n breathes a sigh of relief at the voice, the blonde duo in front of her turning to look at their head coach, confused on how she knows the intruder. "Is Jenna okay?" Renee asks wondering why Y/n was at the training center.
"Jen is fine," Y/n holds up Jenna's cleats, "She left her cleats at home so I came to drop them off. I was trying to ask these two where to find Jenna but thinking about it I probably seemed like some crazed fan who snuck in to them." Y/n chuckles nervously, shifting Jenna's cleats to one hand as she rubs at the back of her neck with the other in nervousness.
"Beth, Alessia I can assure you Y/n is not some crazed fan." Renee says turning to the two reassuring them. The two nod still looking weary of Y/n. "Y/n follow me, I can show you where Jenna is. You two come with me as well, not only because practice is starting soon but also so Y/n only has to officially introduce herself once," Renee says turning to lead the way to the locker room, the three following behind. The lab staying where they lay, looking ready for a nap.
Renee pushes open the door to the locker room, the girls in the room turning to greet their coach and teammates but stopping at the sight of the tall stranger.
"Who are you?" Kyra asks pointing at Y/n, receiving a slap in the arm from Steph who is standing next to her.
"Uhhh hi" Y/n gives a shy wave, feeling overwhelmed with the amount of eyes on her. "I'm Y/n," Jenna's head snaps up from looking through her bag at the sound of her wife's voice. She turns seeing her wife standing behind Renee at the door to the locker room.
"Y/n/n?" Jenna asks moving from her locker to stand in front of Y/n. "What are you doing here?" she asks. Y/n smiles raising her hand that is holding Jenna's cleats.
"You forget something this morning?" Y/n chuckles as Jenna slaps her forehead.
"That's where they were! I've been looking for them for the past 10 minutes!" Jenna exclaims taking the shoes from Y/n's hand, leaning on her tip toes to press a kiss to Y/n's lips in thanks. The couple forgetting about the multiple sets of eyes on them.
"Uhhh Jenna?" The couple separate at the voice, "Have something ye want to tell us?" Katie asks.
"Oh! I was supposed to introduce you all at the event tomorrow but since Y/n is here now…Guys this is Y/n…my wife," Jenna says squeezing Y/n's hand in reassurance feeling how tense and anxious her wife is.
"You're married?" Leah asks in shock. Jenna and Y/n nod.
"We've been married for two years but we've been together since middle school," Y/n explains, Jenna nodding, confirming Y/n's words.
"Renee you knew Jenna was married?" Alessia asks, remembering how Renee knew Y/n's name.
"Of course I did. I know everything," Renee trails off, a few of the girls looking at her in concern before she continues, "Now finish getting ready and get to the field for training. Y/n you're welcome to stay and watch training if you'd like." Renee says as she turns to leave the locker room. Some of the girls who were already ready for training following behind her.
"It's nice to mee you Y/n. We look forward to getting to know you better." Kim says as she walks by. Y/n nods sending the woman a smile.
"You plan on staying and watching training?" Jenna asks looking up at Y/n. Y/n takes a second to think before she eventually nods.
"Sure, why not? I was only going to be watching tv anyway" Y/n shrugs, "Go put your cleats on so you can show me the way to the field," Y/n says lightly pushing Jenna away from her. Jenna nods quickly swapping her sneakers for her cleats, moving back to Y/n and taking her hand in hers once more as she leads Y/n to the field followed by a few of the girls.
"How are you Y/n/n? Feel like it's been forever since I've seen you," Emily jokes her arm wrapping around Y/n's shoulders on the opposite side of where Jenna is. Well trying to wrap her arm seeing as Y/n stands at 5' 10". Y/n rolls her eyes shrugging off Emily's arm.
"You saw me yesterday Foxy."
"Well yea but-"
"Foxy you knew about Y/n?" Beth asks confused. Emily nods.
"Yea, I met Y/n at Jenna's first camp in 2023 when Jenna introduced Y/n to the team. They had just gotten married. Kelly and Sonnett had the best reactions to Jenna being married," Emily laughs, Y/n and Jenna joining, remembering just how shocked the two were that who they thought to be another part of their Frat Daddy ways was taken. "They were disgustingly cute then. Still are." Emily jokes running off before Y/n or Jenna could say anything. The couple rolling their eyes at their friend. Y/n turns to glance at Jenna, smiling at how happy she looks as she converses with Leah and Alessia.
"I love you." Y/n whispers to Jenna. Jenna stops her conversation turning to see Y/n smiling at her.
"I love you too," Jenna says pressing a kiss to Y/n's lips. Alessia and Leah groan.
"Emily was right. You guys are disgustingly cute," Leah says jogging ahead of the couple. Alessia following behind. Y/n and Jenna laugh, but continue their walk to the field with their hands intertwined.
"Uhh Less? Have you seen this picture of Caitlin from a couple of days ago?" Beth asks turning her phone so Alessia can see the image Beth is talking about on her screen. Alessia sets down her boots before leaning towards Beth to look at her phone. A gasp escaping her when she sees the image.
"Oh my god!" She yells drawing the attention of those in the locker room. She gives a sheepish smile before turning to Beth. "That's fake right?" Alessia whispers. Beth gives her a sad look shaking her head.
"No, there's more pictures…" Beth trails off swiping through the images on her phone.
The images in question showing Caitlin sitting at a table at an outdoor café in Manchester lip locked with who was thought to be her best friend Alanna Kennedy. Multiple images from different angles of the two looking less like best friends and more like lovers.
"How could she do this to Katie?" Beth whispers staring at the image in disbelief. Alessia shrugs trying to think of some explanation for the pictures.
"This can't be true. Caitlin would never do this to Katie." Alessia whispers, Beth nodding in agreement.
"Caitlin would never do what to Katie?" a voice asks popping up behind the duo. Beth and Alessia jump in surprise turning to find Leah and Emily standing there looking at the two in confusion. Beth and Alessia share a look before turning Beth's phone so Leah and Emily see the photo of Caitlin and Alanna sitting closer than friends. The two stare at the photo in confusion.
"Uhh, what's wrong with that…" Emily trails off as Beth swipes to the next photo showing Caitlin and Alanna in the middle of a kiss. "Never mind" Emily mumbles. The group of four now stand staring at the image not sure what to do next.
"Do-Do we tell Katie?" Alessia whispers, hating the thought of having to tell her friend and teammate that her girlfriend is cheating on her.
"I mean we have to…don't we? We can't let Caitlin lead Katie on when she's clearly seeing Alanna. Katie deserves better than that." Leah sighs, frustrated with Caitlin for even doing something like this to Katie.
The group looks up when they hear Katie's booming voice enter the locker room followed by the sound of Kyra and Steph. The three stop when they see the saddened look on Beth, Alessia, Leah and Emily's faces.
"Geeze, what's wrong with you guys? You look like someone died…wait did someone die?" Katie asks quickly growing concerned when she realizes they are looking at her. Steph and Kyra share a concerned look between them before turning to the four.
"Have you seen Caitlin the past couple of days?" Leah speaks up when none of the others do.
"No, she stayed back in Manchester when we played them two days ago. Mackenzie is visiting from the states since her season ended. Her, Caitlin and Alanna are spending time together before Mackenzie goes back to the states. She'll be here in a few minutes for training. Why?" Katie explains growing more concerned when the four share a look at the mention of Alanna.
"Umm…well you see…um…" Leah stutters. Beth sighs before holding out her phone with the photo of Alanna and Caitlin kissing.
Katie's eyes widen in shock at the image. She slowly takes Beth's phone and zooms in on Caitlin before letting out a breath of relief.
"Guys it's nothing to worry about," She shrugs handing Beth her phone before walking to her locker to get ready for training. The group stare at her in shock, not including Kyra and Steph who had seen the image over Katie's shoulder, as to why she is so calm to see her girlfriend kissing said girlfriends best friend. Steph and Kyra walk to their own lockers as well not paying the situation any mind.
"Wait, why are you so okay with Caitlin kissing Alanna?" Alessia asks confused by the reaction of the three. Katie shrugs moving around to get ready for training.
"Not my place to say," is all she supplies. The four continue to stare at her in confusion, but jump when the locker room door is slammed open. Caitlin and Caitlin(?) walking into the room, seemingly in a argument.
"That's not the point! You should have known better!" One of the Caitlin's say moving further into the room, the other close behind. Everyone in the room besides Steph, Kyra and Katie look at the two Caitlin's in a mix of shock and confusion.
"I told you I was sorry! Lana and I have been to that place a thousand times and have never been caught before. I truly didn't know that anyone had seen us! Cait you know I'd never do anything to hurt you!" The other Caitlin pleads.
"Uhh what's going on?" Leah asks. The two Caitlin's stop arguing and look around the room at the mixed faces of shock, confusion and amusement. The last one being from Katie, Kyra and Steph.
"Uhhh…hi?" One of the Caitlin's waves sheepishly. The other rolling her eyes and shoving her.
"Since when are you shy? Guys this is my identical twin sister Y/n," who the team now realizes is Caitlin says gesturing to her sister who stands slightly behind her, a soft smile on her face.
The team continue to stare at the two in shock. Katie moves towards the two pressing a kiss to her Caitlin's lips before moving to hug Y/n.
"Hey Y/n/n. A little more careful next time yeah? If it weren't for your tattoo I'd have thought my girlfriend was stealing your wife." Katie jokes gesturing to the tattoo on Y/n's hand. Y/n rolls her eyes slapping the girl on her shoulder.
"You know Caitlin and Alanna would never do that to us. They know how much trouble we can be," Y/n chuckles stepping back from Katie and moving to stand with Steph and Kyra as Katie and Caitlin hug again.
"Hold on!" Alessia yells, causing everyone to turn and look at her. "So it wasn't Caitlin kissing Alanna in the photo?" she asks. Caitlin and Y/n chuckle but shake their heads.
"That would have been me," Y/n says, "Alanna and I have been together for six years, married for two. It was our anniversary that night so we went to our favorite place for dinner. Caitlin was at the apartment with Mackenzie while we went out." Y/n explains.
"Why did we never know Caitlin had a twin?" Beth speaks up. Some of the others nod in agreement.
"That was also me. I asked Cait to keep me in the dark. I don’t like a lot of attention plus I'm a private person. Although recently that has changed. Alanna and I have a post planned for tonight to announce our relationship and reveal that Cait has a twin." Y/n explains. Caitlin looks at her sister in shock.
"But you said-" Y/n cuts Caitlin off.
"I know what I said but I've seen the comments about you since those pictures came out so Alanna and I talked about it. I've had my privacy. I'm ready for the world to know. Besides I can't tell you how many kids have come up to me thinking I'm you asking for a picture. I can't imagine their disappointment when they realize it was me and not you." Y/n laughs out others joining.
"Those poor kids," Katie laughs.
"Anyway, I'll let you guys get to training. Alanna is waiting in the car." Y/n moves to leave.
"Bye Y/n/n, you and Alanna are still coming over for dinner right?" Caitlin asks. Y/n nods.
"Yea, we are picking up something on our way. Think of it as our apology for all the trouble we've caused." Y/n says, waving before disappearing behind the door, a muffled 'bye' being heard from the other side of the door.
"Wow…not how I thought today was going," Kyra says breaking the silence that fell over the room after Y/n left. Caitlin nods in agreement.
"You're telling me! I've kept her secret for years! It took her long enough to want to tell people!" Caitlin exclaims both relieved to not have to hide her twin but also proud of her sister for being ready to face the world as herself.
I'm not even sure if anyone reads any of my stuff anymore but I still want to put this out.
I have decided to retire from writing.
Life has been a rollercoaster lately and I just don't have any motivation to write anymore. I have a couple finished drafts that I will post over the next few days but after that I won't be posting any more. Thanks for reading if you have. I appreciate it ❤️
can u believe…there are people…who get loved everyday…..by someone who truly cares about them and their wellbeing…and they dont doubt for one second that they’re loved….amazing
You groaned in boredom as you sat waiting on your girlfriend to get home. It was finally summer and due to an injury you weren't selected for international duties so you decided to make the most of it and travel to the US to be with your girlfriend.
However with her own season now picking up you unfortunately had to share her time with her practices and games. At the moment she was at one of those said practices and you were bored out of your mind so you decided to scroll tiktok mindlessly.
You quickly came across the ‘current partner’ trend and a plan immediately formed the same time your girlfriend walked tiredly back in her apartment, a subtle smirk on your lips at her perfect timing.
“Hey ma” Paige discarded her bag and plopped down the coach, her head in your lap. You smiled softly running your fingers through her slightly damp hair for a few minutes before remembering your plans.
“Is it ok if I go live darling. I'm kind of bored.” Your girlfriend just nodded mindlessly, eyes closed as she buried her face into your stomach.
You tapped into Instagram Live. Comments started rolling in almost immediately — fans excited to see the footballer in the U.S, to know how your recovery was going and of course to know if Paige was around.You smirked. Showtime.
You chatted with everyone for a bit, the sound of your accent almost lowering your girlfriend to sleep. “Yes, my current partner is here and asleep.” you feel your girlfriend's body tense in your lap and her calm breathing coming to a temporary stop.
Paige’s eyes opened immediately, narrowing. She turned her head slowly to look at you. “Current partner?” offense clear in her voice.
The chat exploded:
👀👀
‘OH NO’
‘Paige boutta throw hands’
‘what did she just say?!’
‘NOT “current” 😭’
You tilted her head like she didn’t understand the problem. “What? You are my current partner.” you can see Paige’s eyebrow twice in annoyance before she sits up her face now in the frame for the live to see.
‘Y/n cut the camera rn’
‘Paige’s face rn HELPP’
‘you gon’ die fr’
‘someone save y/n before Paige does something CRAZY’
“Don't play in my face right now, I'm your only partner. There ain't no after me ma.” Paige’s hand slowly wrapped around your neck as she kissed you roughly completely disregarding the phone recording everything and the chat exploding with even more comments.
You're dazed when she finally lets your lips go with pop. “It's… a prank?” You say unsure your mind still reeling itself back in after the heated kiss.
“Paige done broke our brick wall rip to the new season “
“Um, do yall need space?”
‘I'm covering my eyes but also watching harder’
‘Gays we're still here’
Paige smirks deviously, clearly satisfied with her actions before gently taking the phone out of your hands “goodnight kids.” and the live ended.
Paige’s face darkens again once her eyes are back on you. “Don't ever say something stupid shit like that again.
You swallowed thickly. “Yes ma'am.
Bonus:
Paige's story : A dazed Y/N sitting at the kitchen counter, holding a Gatorade with both hands like it’s holy water. Her hoodie is sliding off one shoulder, and she’s still red in the face.
Summary: Life has a fucked up way of working sometimes. The day starts normal only to end in tragedy…
Word Count: 3.3k words
Warnings: I don't want to spoil anything...but there is mentions of blood!
This is fiction. I wanted to try writing something new let me know what you guys think!
Y/n was woken up by soft lips pressing kisses to her cheek. She slowly opens her eyes as they adjust to the sunlight beaming into the room from the open curtains. When her eyes adjust she locks eyes with her favorite defender, who is leaning down so her blonde locks surround them both. Y/n smiles at the woman, moving her hands so they rest on Leah's waist, just above where the blanket rests on her still bare hips from their activities the night prior.
"Good morning." Y/n whispers. Leah smiles at Y/n leaning down to press a kiss to Y/n's lips only for Y/n to move at the last minute. "Morning breath." Y/n supplies. Leah rolls her eyes, taking Y/n's face in her hands and leaning down to press a kiss to Y/n's lips.
"I don't care." Leah whispers when they pull away. Y/n chuckles leaning her head back on her pillow. Leah follows, pressing another kiss to Y/n's lips. The couple continue, hands wandering each other's bodies, almost going farther once more but, just before that can happen a knock sounds on their bedroom door.
The couple pull away breathless. Leah lets out a groan of frustration rolling off Y/n back to her side of the bed. Y/n chuckles standing and grabbing some clothes. Leah watches eyes raking over Y/n's body, sheet pulled up to cover her chest. "Dammit" Leah groans. Y/n chuckles.
"Patience my love." Y/n says walking to open the door to her and Leah's shared bedroom. "Munchkin!" Y/n exclaims as a little body runs into her legs once she opens the door. Y/n bends down to take the child fully into her arms.
"Mama!" the child exclaims wrapping her little arms around Y/n's neck, tucking her face into her mother's neck. Y/n adjusts her hold on the child and stands with her daughter in her arms. Y/n looks up over the child's shoulder smiling at her younger sister and sister-in-law.
"How was she?" Y/n asks her sister, stepping out of her bedroom and shutting the door behind her to allow Leah a chance to get dressed, thankful for teaching Peyton to knock before entering a room that has the door closed. Y/n walks towards her sister who is standing at the end of the hall in the living room, her sister-in-law standing next to her.
"She was an angel. Myle loved having her around." Viv answers sending her sister a smile. Y/n chuckles nodding.
"Sounds about right. She always talks about how much she loves getting to spend time with Myle. She keeps asking for a puppy but that is too much for a six year old to handle." Y/n jokes, holding Peyton with one arm and tickling her with the other. Peyton lets out a giggle squirming in her mothers hold.
"Mama stop!" she laughs. Beth and Viv laugh watching the mother daughter duo.
"Is that my baby I hear?" Leah asks walking into the room. Y/n seizes her tickle attack on her daughter and looks up to see Leah dressed in her Y/n's Arsenal hoodie and a pair of sweatpants.
"Mommy!" Peyton exclaims squirming in Y/n's hold to be let down. Y/n chuckles setting her daughter on the ground so that she can greet her other mother.
"How was your night with Auntie Viv and Auntie Beth?" Leah asks, her daughter now in her arms, much like she was with Y/n. Y/n watches as Peyton recounts her adventures with her aunts to her mother. A nudge from Viv pulls Y/n from her thoughts.
"Another one soon, right?" Y/n looks at her sister in confusion as Beth converses with Leah and Peyton. Viv rolls her eyes motioning to Peyton with her head.
"It's about time for another kid, right?" Viv jokes. Y/n chuckles, letting out a breath.
"I mean…" Y/n trails off, brining her hand up to run at the back of her neck. A telltale sign that she is hiding something. Viv lets out a gasp, before slapping her sister on the shoulder.
"You guys already started the process didn't you?!" Viv asks quietly as to not attract the attention of the others. Y/n glances at Leah knowing she wouldn't be happy with Y/n for telling anyone just yet, before nodding.
"Yes," Y/n breathes, "But!" She whisper shouts, stopping Viv from saying anything else just yet. "You cannot say anything." Y/n says placing her hands on her sisters shoulders. Viv goes to nod but Y/n continues. "Not even to Beth. You know I love her but she can't hold water in her mouth." Y/n jokes. Viv sighs but still nods. She loves her wife but knows from experience that she can't keep a secret to save her life.
"Fine, but I want to be the first to know when she's pregnant!" Viv says. Y/n sighs but nods agreeing with her sister.
Y/n and Leah had adopted Peyton when she was six months old. The process was fairly easy for the couple. They were both in their prime with playing and knew neither one could be pregnant at the time but they had talked after Peyton's 6th birthday and decided they wanted another kid. Leah had decided to take a bit of a break from playing so she was happy to offer to be the one to carry. Y/n had no objections already planning on everything she could do to help Leah as she carried their second child. All Y/n had said to her sister was that Leah was willing to carry but had never said when that would be.
"Mama!" Y/n turns towards her wife and daughter at the sound of her name.
"Yes, my loves." Y/n says moving to stand behind Leah, who is still holding Peyton in her arms, placing a hand on her wife's waist. Beth having moved to the kitchen. Viv likely following behind.
"You playing today?" Peyton asks pointing at the Arsenal badge on the hoodie Leah's wearing. Y/n nods running her hands through Peyton's golden locks. Despite not being biologically theirs Peyton holds a striking resemblance to Leah and Y/n from her blonde hair to her mannerisms.
"I am." Y/n nods, "You and Mommy are going to sit in the stands with Auntie Viv who also has a boo-boo like Mommy.." Y/n says. Peyton nods laying her head on Leah's shoulder. Leah smiles rubbing her hand up and down Peyton's back, pressing a soft kiss to her daughter's head.
"Still sleepy my love?" Leah asks walking towards Peyton's room. The child nods, wrapping her arms around her mother tighter.
"Too early." Peyton mumbles. Leah lets out a soft laugh at that, turning slightly to look at Y/n who rolls her eyes having heard what her daughter said.
"Yeah. Yeah. I know she gets it from me. Go let her take a nap before we have to start getting ready to head to the stadium." Y/n says waving Leah away. Leah chuckles continuing on her way to Peyton's room.
"9 am and it's too early for you. You definitely are your Mama's child." Leah whispers when she feels Peyton's breath even out, indicating the child fell asleep. Leah gently opens Peyton's room door and sets her daughter in her bed. Leah pulls the covers over Peyton and presses a soft kiss to her head before leaving the room just as silent as she entered. Leah makes her way into the kitchen seeing her wife laughing with her sister and sister-in-law.
"Babe! I made you your coffee!" Y/n says moving to hand Leah her normal coffee mug. Leah shakes her head taking a seat at the island next to Beth.
"Not today my love." Leah says pressing a kiss to Y/n's cheek. Y/n looks at Leah confused. "I'm just feeling a bit nauseous right now that's all." Leah explains. Y/n nods taking Leah's coffee for herself so it doesn't go to waste. "Anyway are you guys excited to play today? London derby!" Leah exclaims, upset that she's missing the match but excited for the end of it to be able to tell Y/n the news she has.
"A little. Nervous though. It'll be my first start against Chelsea. I've seen you guys all play during these matches but I'm nervous as I've seen how these matches have gone in the past. It could get brutal." Y/n says, moving from the counter to stand near Leah who reaches out and pulls Y/n into her sensing how stressed her wife is.
"You'll be great! You're one of the best keepers in the world. They won't stand a chance to score against you." Beth exclaims, resulting in laughs from the others.
"I guess, but I don't want to get my hopes up." Y/n says fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, her nerves fully showing. Leah and Viv share a look knowing that when Y/n gets like this there is little that can calm her down.
"Baby why don't we join Peyton and take a nap before we have to leave." Leah asks. Y/n nods moving to walk towards their bedroom, saying a soft 'bye' to Beth and Viv. Once Y/n is gone Viv looks to Leah.
"First sorry we interrupted your 'moment' earlier" Viv jokes, having seen the grumpy look on Leah's face when she had walked in, Leah jokingly rolls her eyes. "Second, please take care of her. I can tell something is bothering her about today. You and Pey are the only ones I know that can get her out of this funk." Viv explains, Leah lets out a breath nodding.
"I know," she sighs, "I haven't seen her like this since we found out we got the approval for Peyton. I'll keep you updated." Leah says standing to pull Viv into a hug. "We'll see you guys at the match. Drive safe home." Leah says releasing Viv to hug Beth. The other couple nod moving towards the door of the apartment.
"Please do. It's hard to see the normally calm Y/n so stressed over a match," Beth sighs. The other two nod, knowing there must be something more going on. Leah bids the couple goodbye and shuts the door behind them. She takes a deep breath leaning back on the closed door before pushing off and moving towards her bedroom. She peeks at Peyton and smiles seeing her daughter asleep in her bed, on her way before continuing her move to her and Y/n's room. She smiles softly seeing her wife already asleep in the bed. Leah sets an alarm on her phone before joining Y/n, curling herself in Y/n's arms. Y/n shifts wrapping her arms around Leah, her hands resting on Leah's stomach. Leah chuckles shaking her head.
"I haven't even told you yet and you know."
~~~~~~~~~
"Go Mama!" Peyton cheers from her place on Leah's lap. The mother-daughter duo are seated in the friends and family section dressed in their Y/l/n Arsenal gear. Since it was a colder day in London both have their Arsenal beanies on their heads.
The game has been going on for just over 60 minutes, and just as Beth said Y/n has managed to keep a clean sheet so far as Arsenal lead the match 2-0, with goals from Beth and Alessia.
It's the 65th minute when things begin to go downhill. Chelsea had managed to get a corner. The sounds from the crowd cheering and coaches yelling gets drowned out at the loud thunk Leah hears. She is immediately on her feet having a bad feeling but with the blur of red and blue on the field she can't tell what's going on. She sees all Arsenal players surround someone who is down on the pitch as someone, who she recognizes as Kim, waves frantically to the sidelines for the medics. Leah swears she feels her hear stop as through the frantic players she sees a glimpse of the yellow keeper kit, that she knows her wife is wearing, laying flat on the pitch unmoving.
"Viv I-" Leah turns to her sister-in-law, knowing something isn't right. Viv nods, moving to take Peyton from Leah, the child watching in confusion as to what is going on.
"Go, I'll keep Peyton with me. Keep me updated." Viv says Leah nods, carefully handing her daughter over, pressing a kiss to the child's head.
"Mommy? Mama sleeping?" The girl questions. Leah pulls back holding her daughter's face in her hands.
"Mama… Mama may have a boo-boo so Mommy has to go see if she's okay. You're going to stay with Auntie Viv for a little bit." Leah explains. The child nods not fully understanding the situation, but turns into her aunt trying to watch what is going on on the pitch but Viv turns her so she can't when she spots the red staining Y/n's kit as the medics reach her and load her on the stretcher. Viv and Leah share a concerned look before Leah turns and darts off to the spot she knows the medics will be leaving the stadium with Y/n.
Leah gets to the corridor that leads to the door where the ambulance usually sits for matches seeing the medical team and paramedics rushing around Y/n who is lying still on the stretcher. One of the paramedics is straddling Y/n and administering CPR as the others push the stretcher towards the ambulance.
"Leah!" One of the medics calls when they see her standing there. She rushes forward moving to the empty spot next to Y/n, following them as they move towards the door. Steps faltering when she sees the state Y/n is in. Y/n has a large gash on her head that is bleeding through the temporary bandages that were placed on the wound, blood is trickling down Y/n's face and onto her once bright yellow kit that is now stained in red.
"I'm sorry ma'am but-" Leah cuts off one of the paramedics.
"I'm her wife. I'm not leaving her." Leah states leaving no room for argument, her voice sounding much more brave than she truly feels. The paramedics knowing the situation don't argue and allow Leah to enter the ambulance with them once Y/n is loaded inside. Leah sits on the bench next to Y/n as one paramedic hops in the back with them, the other two shut the doors and rush around to get in the front beginning the trek to the hospital.
The paramedic in the back with Leah starts hooking Y/n up to the monitors there. The paramedic looks at the screen before her eyes widen.
"Hurry the hell up!" She yells smacking the wall between the back of the vehicle and the front. Leah feels the ride speed up. She looks to the paramedic in concern.
"What's happening? What's going on?" Leah says, tears falling down her face, not liking the feeling of this situation at all. The paramedic ignores her continuing to work on Y/n. Leah keeps trying to get some kind of information out of the woman but gets nothing. Leah eventually gives up tightening her hold on Y/n's hand. "Please be okay baby," Leah whispers. "You have to meet your second kid." Leah continues quietly. The paramedic gives Leah a sad look, one that Leah misses, knowing things aren't looking good for Y/n.
Shortly after the vehicles comes to a stop. The doors burst open and there is a group of nurses and a doctor that rush to help get Y/n out of the ambulance and into the hospital. Leah rushed behind but is stopped when Y/n s led past the doors to the ICU.
"I can't let you back there ma'am." A nurse says. Leah goes to argue but the doors bursting open behind her stop her. She turns and sees her mother, and father and rushing into the hospital. Her parents had stayed home to watch the match, but when they saw Y/n go down they immediately left for the hospital closest to the stadium knowing Leah would need them. Especially for Peyton.
"Leah!" Her mother calls. Leah lets her emotions take over as she collapses into her mothers arms. Amanda wraps her arms around her daughter in a tight hug, holding her as she cries. David leads his wife and daughter towards open chairs in the waiting room.
"Peyton is with Viv. I rushed to follow them with Y/n to the ambulance. I didn't want to leave Pey but I couldn't leave Y/n alone. I needed to see with my own eyes that she's okay. Mom-" Leahs words stop as she remembers how Y/n looked. Amanda whispers to her daughter that everything will be okay, not once letting go knowing her daughter needs this comfort.
Around an hour later a doctor walks out of the door Y/n disappeared behind. Blood on his scrubs a somber look on his face.
"Family of Y/n Y/l/n." He calls. Leah stands and moves towards the man.
"I'm her wife. Is she okay? Please tell me she's okay." Leah begs the man shakes his head.
"I'm so sorry." Leah's heart breaks even further at the words knowing what they mean.
"No!" She sobs falling to her knees in the hospital waiting room. Her mother falls next to her wrapping her daughter in a hug as her father walks away, clenching and unclenching his fists in anger at the situation the family is now facing.
Leah tunes out everything the doctor says, trying to grasp the fact that her wife is no longer with her. Her wife who won't get to tuck Peyton in to bed. Her wife who won't get to kiss her daughter again. Her wife who won't get to meet their second child. Leah sits there on the hospital waiting room floor sobbing harder as she comes to the realization that Y/n didn't get to hear that Leah is pregnant.
~~~~~~~~~
Five years later…
"Mommy! I can't find my gloves!" eleven year old Peyton calls from the living room where she is rifling through her kit bag.
"They're in my bag Pey! I threw them in there after you left them in the car the other day!" Leah calls back walking into the living room with her five year old son in her arms.
After Y/n had passed Leah went into a dark place. It took Viv, Beth and Alessia to get her back to a semi-normal Leah. She would never be the same as Y/n was such a huge part of her. Without Y/n she has had to learn a lot of things she never thought she would have to. She had to rely on people who weren't her wife to help her with her pregnancy cravings, and anything else that she needed.
Leah had planned on getting to experience that with Y/n and she broke down most nights as she realized this was one thing Y/n was looking forward to with the pregnancy. But as Leah grew closer to the end of the nine months she realized that she would still live on but never let Y/n be forgotten. Especially when Nick was born. He was the spitting image of Y/n from his y/h/c hair to her y/e/c eyes. He reminded Leah of Y/n in all the best ways and she knew that Y/n was there watching her family grow.
Leah never tried to find someone else. She knew Y/n was her soulmate and it wouldn't be fair for her to try and be with someone else when she knew Y/n was it for her. She was perfectly content with her two kids and her family who were there for her in whatever way she needed, knowing losing her wife at such a young age was not going to be easy. Especially with two young kids.
Peyton took after her mother's and started playing football. She had talked about being a defender like her mommy, but she had seen videos of Y/n in goal and decided she wanted to be more like her Mama and asked to be a keeper instead. That brought tears to Leah's eyes but she agreed. Peyton was like Y/n in that she was tall, even at her age and she may only be ten but she is incredibly talented for her age. She's a natural much like her Mama was.
Leah hopes Y/n is watching over them and she can hopes that Y/n is proud of her.
Little does she know that Y/n is always watching over her and that she will always be proud of Leah.
Warnings ♤ This fic talks about heavy topics such as self-harm, poor mental health, and excessive alcohol consumption. Please don't read if you're sensitive to these things.
“I don't think this is working anymore.” The words came out like a sigh of relief. There wasn't any cheating, no major fight or betrayal. Just what felt like a huge burden being let go of.
“Ok” You didn't scream, you didn't ask why, and you didn’t cry. You just accepted the decision Alexia made without a fuss and to say the older woman was surprised was an understatement.
It's been weeks in the making between the endless games with little to no rest Alexia felt like your relationship was just another thing that was weighing down her plate. She was prepared for whatever version of anger you would throw at her but the way you stared at her your eyes void of any emotion was unsettling. She would have much preferred you lashed out at her cause your calm made her feel uneasy.
“Is that all?” Alexia scoffed lightly.
“What did you expect? that we cuddle? You're the one that's had enough so can you please leave?” You open the door for Alexia. she had no choice but to walk out and you closed the door softly behind her. She waited for any signs of muffled crying or screaming but all she got was the continued unsettling calm.
From that day on back at barça it was business as usual. It's like you became a machine in barça clothes. You were clinical and precise. You passed with an accuracy your teammates hadn't seen before, timed tackles to a key and even scored goals with surgical precision they didn't expect from a center back. But they weren't blind the locker room noticed the spark that was gone.
“You ok English?” Patri asked one day before training, choosing to be the brave one to brace your unusual calm.
“Sure.” you replied flatly tying your laces even tighter not once looking up at the young midfielder.
The answer had become a popular one. No one on the team can remember the last time you'd even said a full sentence. But they left it alone at the command of Pere who was just soaking in the glory of your recent performance and Alexia the team advocate didn't seem bothered by your behavior so they figured it was better to leave well enough alone.
Alexia did noticed and she was bothered. She watched as the y/n she knew died the day she made her choice now replaced with this one. In meetings, on the pitch and even walking past each in the hallway it looked like you'd traded your soul in exchange for not falling apart.
The worst part was the silence between you and Alexia. Even on the pitch you refused to acknowledge her unless you absolutely had no choice and every now and then the older woman wonders if she maybe made a mistake. You never gave her the chance to find out either. You weren't cruel, just gone protected by buried emotions and a steel wall.
But at night when you were alone you'd sit on the balcony where you sat most nights with Alexia talking about everything and nothing all at once. You'd remember how she'd laughed and it would echo in and mix with the sounds of the buzzing city below.
The memories would take you away to the what ifs until you were up all night into the mornings where you'd turn those memories off just to lace up your boots and head to the locker room not once meeting anyone's eyes.
In your mind love and feelings were useless emotions. They didn't win you trophies so you kept them in a cage. Gone were the day's where you'd crack a joke in the tunnel where everyone was lined up to calm their nerves before big games or the one that would offer comfort after tough losses. The goals kept coming, the tackles and even assists on the pitch you were silent, effective and ruthless. You became a well oiled football machine
No one tried to come close even Jana who you regarded as a younger sister. Not even Alexia. Especially not Alexia. But even machines have points when they break. That's when you reach for things that didn't ask questions or think that you'd change.
First it was because you couldn't sleep because of memories of you and Alexia tormented you.A few sleeping pills nothing too major just something to take the edge off. Nothing major
But as games kept piling up and the pain started to break through the ground from where you worked so hard to bury it you needed something to quiet the buzzing in your head and the ache in your heart. The pills weren't enough so you added alcohol. Just a little drink after games or training until a little drink turned into a bottle or two.
You still showed up to training and games. Gave your all and repeated the cycle. Coaches noticed the effects quickly. The drop in your weight, slower reactions to the ball and the bruises that didn't heal but you quickly dismissed it as stress from the buildup of games. No one pushed too hard because even at your worst you were still winning games.
The team watched you deteriorate but still didn't approach you in fear of the dead look in your eyes. They were too afraid of confirming what they already knew cause many weren't sure what to do after they confirmed the truth or if you even would accept that truth and get help.
“Y/n what's happening to you?” Alexia asked beyond concern at this point pulling you away from prying ears. You didn’t answer though, just looked straight ahead and walked away.
The finals against Arsenal you walked in pale and trembling but the team and medical staff's concern fell on deaf ears as Pere believed you'd bring the trophy back to barça and put you in the starting lineup.
You stumbled around until the final whistle came and signaled Barcelona's defeat. You didn’t have time to process the loss or the sobs of your teammates because the world around you started to spin, the cheers, cries of joy and sadness all blended into one.
Before you know it your body finally gave up and collapsed in the field. Your teammates weren't the first to react wrapped up in their disappointment. It was your former teammate Mariona who was coming to offer comfort that noticed the way your body racked with shakes, your eyes rolled back as you foamed from the mouth.
“Ayuda!” Mariona's voice gets lost in the celebrations as she drops to her knees, turning your seizing body on your side.
“Alexia por favor.” The Spaniard is in full panic now hoping someone would hear her. Alexia's ear caught it barely and her head snapped in your direction quickly, fear and horror overtook her body.
“amor, y/n no no no” Alexia ran to your side gently slapping your cheeks hoping to snap you out of it.
“Someone get a fucking medic out here now.” Katie's voice boomed across the pitch when she noticed her teammate and the Barcelona captain on their knees in fear.
By the time paramedics were on the pitch your body had stopped moving, your eyes closed looking at the most peaceful your team had seen you in a while and while the paramedics couldn't pronounce you they knew the truth. You were gone.
While they loaded your body into the ambulance Alexia kicked and screamed apologies fighting against patris and ingrid's grip. No ears that heard it was the right one because it was said too late.
Warnings ♤ This fic talks about heavy topics such as self-harm, poor mental health, and excessive alcohol consumption. Please don't read if you're sensitive to these things.
“I don't think this is working anymore.” The words came out like a sigh of relief. There wasn't any cheating, no major fight or betrayal. Just what felt like a huge burden being let go of.
“Ok” You didn't scream, you didn't ask why, and you didn’t cry. You just accepted the decision Alexia made without a fuss and to say the older woman was surprised was an understatement.
It's been weeks in the making between the endless games with little to no rest Alexia felt like your relationship was just another thing that was weighing down her plate. She was prepared for whatever version of anger you would throw at her but the way you stared at her your eyes void of any emotion was unsettling. She would have much preferred you lashed out at her cause your calm made her feel uneasy.
“Is that all?” Alexia scoffed lightly.
“What did you expect? that we cuddle? You're the one that's had enough so can you please leave?” You open the door for Alexia. she had no choice but to walk out and you closed the door softly behind her. She waited for any signs of muffled crying or screaming but all she got was the continued unsettling calm.
From that day on back at barça it was business as usual. It's like you became a machine in barça clothes. You were clinical and precise. You passed with an accuracy your teammates hadn't seen before, timed tackles to a key and even scored goals with surgical precision they didn't expect from a center back. But they weren't blind the locker room noticed the spark that was gone.
“You ok English?” Patri asked one day before training, choosing to be the brave one to brace your unusual calm.
“Sure.” you replied flatly tying your laces even tighter not once looking up at the young midfielder.
The answer had become a popular one. No one on the team can remember the last time you'd even said a full sentence. But they left it alone at the command of Pere who was just soaking in the glory of your recent performance and Alexia the team advocate didn't seem bothered by your behavior so they figured it was better to leave well enough alone.
Alexia did noticed and she was bothered. She watched as the y/n she knew died the day she made her choice now replaced with this one. In meetings, on the pitch and even walking past each in the hallway it looked like you'd traded your soul in exchange for not falling apart.
The worst part was the silence between you and Alexia. Even on the pitch you refused to acknowledge her unless you absolutely had no choice and every now and then the older woman wonders if she maybe made a mistake. You never gave her the chance to find out either. You weren't cruel, just gone protected by buried emotions and a steel wall.
But at night when you were alone you'd sit on the balcony where you sat most nights with Alexia talking about everything and nothing all at once. You'd remember how she'd laughed and it would echo in and mix with the sounds of the buzzing city below.
The memories would take you away to the what ifs until you were up all night into the mornings where you'd turn those memories off just to lace up your boots and head to the locker room not once meeting anyone's eyes.
In your mind love and feelings were useless emotions. They didn't win you trophies so you kept them in a cage. Gone were the day's where you'd crack a joke in the tunnel where everyone was lined up to calm their nerves before big games or the one that would offer comfort after tough losses. The goals kept coming, the tackles and even assists on the pitch you were silent, effective and ruthless. You became a well oiled football machine
No one tried to come close even Jana who you regarded as a younger sister. Not even Alexia. Especially not Alexia. But even machines have points when they break. That's when you reach for things that didn't ask questions or think that you'd change.
First it was because you couldn't sleep because of memories of you and Alexia tormented you.A few sleeping pills nothing too major just something to take the edge off. Nothing major
But as games kept piling up and the pain started to break through the ground from where you worked so hard to bury it you needed something to quiet the buzzing in your head and the ache in your heart. The pills weren't enough so you added alcohol. Just a little drink after games or training until a little drink turned into a bottle or two.
You still showed up to training and games. Gave your all and repeated the cycle. Coaches noticed the effects quickly. The drop in your weight, slower reactions to the ball and the bruises that didn't heal but you quickly dismissed it as stress from the buildup of games. No one pushed too hard because even at your worst you were still winning games.
The team watched you deteriorate but still didn't approach you in fear of the dead look in your eyes. They were too afraid of confirming what they already knew cause many weren't sure what to do after they confirmed the truth or if you even would accept that truth and get help.
“Y/n what's happening to you?” Alexia asked beyond concern at this point pulling you away from prying ears. You didn’t answer though, just looked straight ahead and walked away.
The finals against Arsenal you walked in pale and trembling but the team and medical staff's concern fell on deaf ears as Pere believed you'd bring the trophy back to barça and put you in the starting lineup.
You stumbled around until the final whistle came and signaled Barcelona's defeat. You didn’t have time to process the loss or the sobs of your teammates because the world around you started to spin, the cheers, cries of joy and sadness all blended into one.
Before you know it your body finally gave up and collapsed in the field. Your teammates weren't the first to react wrapped up in their disappointment. It was your former teammate Mariona who was coming to offer comfort that noticed the way your body racked with shakes, your eyes rolled back as you foamed from the mouth.
“Ayuda!” Mariona's voice gets lost in the celebrations as she drops to her knees, turning your seizing body on your side.
“Alexia por favor.” The Spaniard is in full panic now hoping someone would hear her. Alexia's ear caught it barely and her head snapped in your direction quickly, fear and horror overtook her body.
“amor, y/n no no no” Alexia ran to your side gently slapping your cheeks hoping to snap you out of it.
“Someone get a fucking medic out here now.” Katie's voice boomed across the pitch when she noticed her teammate and the Barcelona captain on their knees in fear.
By the time paramedics were on the pitch your body had stopped moving, your eyes closed looking at the most peaceful your team had seen you in a while and while the paramedics couldn't pronounce you they knew the truth. You were gone.
While they loaded your body into the ambulance Alexia kicked and screamed apologies fighting against patris and ingrid's grip. No ears that heard it was the right one because it was said too late.
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