MishWin

Silvia - she/her - Czech - 21 - scorpio/sagittarius ravenclaw autumn person - bookworm 

[badjokesbyjeff]

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.” “Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” “No.” said the director, “A normal person would pull the plug, Do you want a bed near the window?”

[burlbread]

Apetit recepty: Čerství kvásek dejte do kozího mléka pokojové teploty. Přidejte třtinový cukr. 6 vajec od domácích slepic, zvlášť vyšlehat bílky a žloutky, oddělit dvou misek, do jedné hladkou a do druhé mandlovou mouku. Rušně promíchat. Přidat rozinky den odleželé v rumu. Začít péct na 200° a za pět minut zeslabit na 180°. Posledních pět minut pak na 170°.

Stejné recepty na jiných stránkách: Připrav kvásek. Klidně může být z mrazáku. Vyšlehej vejce, přidej mouku a pak to dej na 180° nebo taky ne, podle trouby. Peč než se to bude zdát ok.

[moonwich]

Recepty na osobních blozích: Všechno to začlo při Sovětské invazi..

[littlellamatiger]

Recepty ve zprávách: Budete potřebovat mouku. Zbytek se dozvíte na TN.cz.

[guarddogbitch]

Recepty našich babiček: MUSÍŠ DO TOHO DÁT SRDCE

CIT

V Ě Z

[reshiiii]

Dedičný recept : tajomstvo krehkosti je v octovej vode.

(prípadne)

MASŤ

[myvalzpival]

Recepty v mamčině receptovém deníku z dob kdy byla mladice: tendle recept mi dala spolužačka Marcela, která je fakt tupá jak troky a nemám ji ráda, ale z toho koláče mám orgasmus

[kocourmokroocko]

Recepty mýho táty, když mi bylo osm: “Tak hele. Nebude ti to chutnat, ale je to jednoduchý, rychlý, levný, seženeš to všude, a když se to naučíš jíst, přežiješ totalitní režim. Takže-”

[nejene]

Recepty mé babičky: Klíčem je vařit to pokaždé jinak, aby neexistoval žádný jednotný recept a tvojí potomci neměli žádnou šanci se tohle jídlo naučit dělat

[sapphorrific]

Recepty na buzzfeedu: na tento recept budete potřebovat jen dvě ingredience!!1!!1!1!! Že takový recept nebude v žádném případě fungovat? Nevadí! D v ě i n g r e d i e n c e !!!

[rumcajs-kin]

Recepty, které se snažím vymámit z mámy: “Já nevim, já to dělam vod voka. To poznáš.”

[treba-neco-napise]

Nevím, jak se mi to podařilo, asi je ve mně prostě kouzlo nebo co, ale už jste někdy připálili brambory v hrnci???

[burlbread]

To se stává, když na ně zapomeneš a vyvaří se voda. Mně se to (JEDNOU) povedlo na tak dlouho, že už to vlastně nebyly ani tak případné brambory jako spíš připálený hrnec s bramborami.

[thorthedorkworld]

I’m screaming why does Mamma Mia fit every fight scene so perfectly ajkaslajjddhhajadkjfh

[dmofstormandsea]

this video is what dnd feels like

[breelandwalker]

ROLL INTIATIVE

[popsunner]

Reason why, based on past and current experiences, I would be the worst main character in a horror movie:

1. One time I was babysitting my siblings and I heard a loud thump so I went up to check on my five year old brother and he was sitting in the middle of his floor. I asked what he was doing and he said “It’ll all be over soon.” so I kissed his head and said goodnight and left.

2. When I was thirteen my door fell off it’s hinges while I was reading in my bed and I found screws and fixed it and never told anyone or thought about it again.

3. I woke up in my backyard with a bible on my chest, brushed myself off, and went and ate some cereal.

4. My sister woke me up terrified and brought me to my older sister who was banging her head on a wall while asleep, I walked her to bed and tucked her in, and none of us said anything about it again.

5. My grandma told me our house was haunted and I said “they seem to be pretty quiet ghosts then.” Right as a cup fell off the counter without anyone near it, I said “that was petty.” And asked my grandma if she wanted to play cards.

6. The heirloom doll that sits in a box under my bed randomly showed up in my windowsill. I figured it was a better spot anyway and left it. It never moved again.

7. I planted some seeds from a box I found in the garage, and the next day all our plants died so I dug them up and put them back, and everything went back to normal.

8. I moved from a room upstairs to one downstairs and my things kept getting thrown into the hall when I wasn’t home, so I stood in the middle of the room and said, “I’m here now. Deal with it.” My stuff never got thrown out after that.

9. My dad told me he’d been hearing strange noises in the living room at night so I moved the bird cage in there and my dad said it stopped that night.

10. I watched a bunch of my books fall off my shelves so I picked up all the fallen ones and gave them to my grandpa and that was the end of it.

[celestialdeth]

you are literally the best main character of a horror movie 

[remijaecrowley]

Sounds like me and the farm house I grew up in. O.O

[badjokesbyjeff]

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I’m paid to travel.

My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I’m a bus driver.

[ddrvbiblgigb]

[garfield-baybee]

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

[mildlyautisticsuperdetective]

I saw this before I left work last night and had a quiet hope, and today I checked my phone at about quarter to two, while I was still on my lunch break, and I’ve just got a job interview with the BBC next week

I’m not a big believer in anything much but I’m so happy holy shit. So like unrelated note but something real good happened to me at 1.42 today lol

[thequeenofsastiel]

I’ll play

[deactivated-user-001-deactivate]

Well, I’m waiting for a very important call. Let’s wait and see what happens.

[persephhona]

[derekhalesprayercircle-blog]

I once went to a concert with a friend (I don’t remember the band, she dragged me along) when I was 16. They were starting a wall of death and this guy who was flirting with me decides it would be funny to pull my top down, exposing my breasts, then throw me in the middle of this wall of death right as it’s about to meet. When I stumble in the middle and hit the wall someone screamed “STOP! EXPOSED GIRL!” and I thought they were all going to oggle at me. Instead, one guy quickly helped me cover up, three more helped me to my feet, and another asked who did that. When I pointed out the guy, two of them looked at him, me, each other, then nodded and punched the guy in the face before forcing him into the wall that was about to form again.

Metal men are gentlemenly as shit.

[suicidemydarling]

This fucking this^^^ 

[despotic]

I’ve always loved this.

[dangerhamster]

I went to my first concert a few months ago and there were these really tall men with black vest tops and tattoos and piercings surrounding us screaming loudly when the music started playing, but then we realised this kid in the crowd had lost his mum so they tried to comfort him and when he started crying they asked him his name and he shakily sobbed “Eliot” at which point they lifted him in the air onto the shoulder’s and shouted at the top of their lungs “ELIOT’S MUM, ELIOT IS LOOKING FOR YOU. EXCUSE ME HAS ANYONE SEEN ELIOT’S MUM!!!” at which point Eliot started giggling between sobs until he finally found his mum while in the air.

[knitmeapony]

Seriously, I have felt safer in groups of death metal dudes than in the group of the preppiest preps that ever prepped.

[tevintersass-deactivated2015071]

Metal guys are one big family. Simple as that.

[spteatime]

I remember seeing this for the first time like a year ago and not once have I seen it and not reblogged it because this is just amazing.

[sapphicsugar]

My old coworker was one of those guys. Big, bearded, played in a hardcore metal band. One day another coworker’s laptop was stolen from the breakroom, so metal-head bought him a brand new one.

That guy was really a huge teddy bear.

[hailtothepanek]

My friend is tiny and she was at a concert when she was 15 or something and they were about to do a wall of death and she was right at the front. She started to realise this was not going to end well for her, but then this massive guy next to her picked her up and put her on his shoulders just as it began. After when she asked why, he said “if I didn’t pick you up you would have been crushed.” Metal men are nicer than most.

[piss-pirate]

I think the rules for metal dudes are universal. 1. Look out for smaller people that could be hurt and help them. 2. If someone falls, help them up. 3. If you see anyone being a dick fucking pulverise them

[ailithnight]

If demons looked like demons Evil would be quite rare. It’s the demons dressed as angels For which we must beware.

[parlezvousladybug]

Reblogging for that perfect last addition

[visual-infinity]

The largest Hydrogen Peroxide experiment ever 🧪 ⠀ By @Nickuhas and @DavidDobrik

[lazyhazylulu]

how do you even BEGIN to clean that up

[trans-snart]

they put down tarps so it’s all okay

[gay-jesus-probably]

I love how they have all that safety gear and tarps laid out, but their chosen method for starting the reaction is “tip the bucket and run like hell”

science is beautiful

[aziz-the-fangirl]

Geralt: What the fuck are you doing?

Jaskier, finishing his twentieth round of “Fishmonger’s Daughter”: My job

Geralt: Hmmm

Geralt: Who’s paying you?

Jaskier: Lambert

Jaskier: He says it’s payback for something or other. I didn’t ask too many questions, or listen all that diligently. This is the funnest gig I’ve had in ages

Geralt: … How much for you to bother him instead?

Jaskier: Oh I am fucking IN

.

.

.

Lambert, hearing Jaskier coming down the hall singing “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher”: Oh no

[mishwin]

coffee or tea | early bird or night owl | chocolate or vanilla | spring or fall | silver or gold | pop or alternative | freckles or dimples | snakes or sharks | mountains or fields | thunder or lightning | egyptian mythology or greek mythology | ivory or scarlet | flute or lyre | opal or diamond | butterflies or honeybees | macarons or eclairs | typewritten or handwritten | secret garden or secret library | rooftop or balcony | spicy or mild | opera or ballet | london or paris | vincent Van Gogh or claude monet | denim or leather | potions or spells | ocean or desert | mermaids or sirens | masquerade ball or cocktail party

MAKE YOUR CHOICE: FIC EDITION

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbors or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or genderbend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

[kattuu]

““ Věděl, že prohlášení o absolutně bezpečných teleportech patří do stejné přihrádky jako tvrzení: můj pejsek nekouše, můj synek je hodný chlapec, ta pečeně je čerstvá, peníze vrátím nejpozději pozítří, v noci jsem spala u kamarádky, leží mi v srdci výhradně dobro vlasti nebo odpovíš jenom na několik otázek a jsi volný.””

— SAPKOWSKI, Andrzej. Zaklínač: Bouřková sezóna. s. 136.

[iskisaggie]

I think you know where this about to go 🎶

[Please, do not repost]

[memehumor]

Chess is so much less serious if you imagine it all as a real thing

[magnificent-winged-beast]

Another poetic moment, The Kiss.

Look at Jensen’s happy face.

Keep reading

[dimples-of-discontent]

Look at Misha’s eyes close in a moment of happiness as Jensen kisses him…he’s like a purring cat. My heart! 😭😭😭

[breaking-up-with-cockles]

From my favorite body language expert:  Ninety percent of our sensory input is visual. The other four senses are obligated to “share” the remaining ten percent. Also, forty percent of the entire human brain is dedicated to vision. Thus when we close our eyes, a bit more blood and electrical activity of the brain is directed to hearing, taste, smell and touch - as well as the cognitive and emotional centers of the brain. So when a person with a healthy visual system closes their eyes, they are trying to squeeze out every ounce of emotion in that moment (Intriguing, this phenomenon also holds true for the other senses as well - when you close your eyes while eating that chocolate cake, you’re not just imagining that it tastes better - it truly does taste better. Or when you’re smelling that bouquet of flowers, listening carefully, careful touching, etc., - and of course for enhanced cognition too).

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i love that i have to go to menswear to find a shirt a human being in the world would wear and then when i do it takes me .5 seconds to find it. I love that

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

me: i need a plain black t shirt

target women’s section: would you like to have a giant scoop neck that would definitely like completely show at least one of your boobs. would you, an adult woman, like to wear a crop top? would you like to look like a human piñata. BLACK? I think you mean jewel tones babey!

target men’s section: yeah sure. it’s the first thing you see as you walk into the shirt aisle. have a good one

[themadcapmathematician]

Women’s section: would you like a shirt made out of tissue paper that costs $34.99??

Men’s section: here’s 25 normal tshirts for a quarter

[dare-to-dm]

Women’s Section: Would you like to play fucking guessing games with our arbitrary sizing systems and style names?  Also, we added a bunch of fake pockets for your personal inconvenience!

Men’s Section: Here’s a bunch of pants organized by the exact inch length of your waist and legs.  With pockets that can hold more than just a credit card.

[sammit-janet]

Women’s Section:  Oh you want a plain tee-shirt?  Here you go, it’s completely see through so you either have to a) wear something else over it or b) let everyone see your bra!

Men’s Section:  Here’s an amazingly comfortable shirt that no one can see your undergarments through.  Have a nice day!

[gutter-adonis]

Women’s section: if you’re a nerd? I guess you wanna show titties and have glitter huh???

Men’s section: Here this has the hogwarts crest on it and it’s like five bucks

[i-tried-and-i-lost]

Women’s section: you want shorts? I guess that means you want something really short huh??? Might even see your butt??

Men’s section: Here’s comfortable shorts that are longer than like 15 cm long, have a good day

[domiingoenfuego]

i found the post again

[small-town-spooks]

Women’s section:you want a hoodie? Well here’s one that’s tight fitting and accents the one thing you don’t want to be seen, miss!

Men’s section:hoodie? Oh sure, here’s a loose fitting one that is perfect for hiding lumps of death have a nice day young man

[astrophelos]

Women’s section: pockets? Yeah sure of course! We’ll give you fifty fake pockets.

Men’s section: you can put your first born in one of ten pockets and still have room for more things

[justabsbutler-deactivated202105]

Women’s section: RUFFLES AND GLITTER

Men’s section: here’s some quality fabric, come again when your shirt gets a small hole after 32 years

[soup-fish]

ABSOLUTELY ACCURATE

[pearshapedcomics]

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Pear-Shaped comics

[laughingfish]

This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen

[langblrwhy]

[dsm-wannabe-linguist]

❤️