miss bits is on tumblr for some reason

all around fan of women, 23 y/o pfp by good buddy friend Cas

[courtesycalling]

[infectiouspiss]

somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i've left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they're not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he's screaming.

[infectiouspiss]

all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you're not playing pretend you're locked in you're comfy cozy you're snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead

[infectiouspiss]

and like. if you're the one awake you're playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i'm a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we're doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they're sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.

[infectiouspiss]

plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you're waking them up with your screams

[lourainwoods-in-the-woods]

[infectiouspiss]

oh great and this guy's here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum

[dreadwedge]

for sale. shoes baby. yuppp the baby is made of shoes. dont want it. it is not right. babies are not supposed to be composed of that

[chrliekclly]

confuse spell

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?

Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler

[draconym]

I just saw an acquaintance use "👖🛝" in place of the word genocide and. like. at what point are we going to decide that this kind of self-censorship is too degrading to abide anymore.

[draconym]

"grape" "sui-slide" "the panini" I feel like I'm surrounded by Rugrats who overheard the grown ups talking about the news.

[magiccarpetman]

This is mean, but when I’m in a safe context to do so, I love pretending I don’t understand what they mean and forcing them to explain in plain language.

[draconym]

It's not mean. You are so normal. If someone uses these terms when speaking to me directly I'm going to end up on the news.

[187onabuster-deactivated2025013]

Bites into burger Hmmm this tastes like ash Looks at hands Covered in ash Looks around All is ashes A pitiless waste Resume eating

[jackalopescruff]

No longer an excuse its 2026 you MUST have paws if you do not have paws you will be forcibly given paws

[jackalopescruff]

there WILL be an inspection

[jackalopescruff]

"my hooves" "my claws" anything that isnt a human foot is a paw for those who have a pervert mind and brave soul

[frejs-froggy-artblog]

Matching icons for you, your welder and the guy you're sending into unimaginable horror

[torchwood-99]

"I love you but you're doing wrong in a way I cannot condone" and "I hate you but you're being wronged in a way I cannot stomach" are top tier and I need more of them.

[trumbloola]

Fall Guys are like invasive among us! Right guys! Who's with me! Who's with me!

[loanboard10k]

Not funny 👎

[trumbloola]

I can't currently even formulate anything stronger than "I'll kill you". Please threaten yourself for me

[loanboard10k]

I'M GOING TO SAW OFF MY FEET

[watchpoob]

poob will be the new pdf

[watchpoob]

poob will be the new adobe animate

[watchpoob]

poob will be the new tumblr servers

[watchpoob]

poob will be the new discord

[id-servals-in-posts]

There are no servals in this post. Poob will not be the new African grasslands

[watchpoob]

poob regrets the lack of biological diversity and is investing in proper environmental conditions for servals

[deceasedcardinal]

[parkchanwoohoo]

[eeveestho]

ok but the full translation is also extremely good

[human-pet-girl]

that translation is accurate except for that last part. pflegestufe doesnt really translate to a state of need, its moreso means that the weed would leave you disabled in a way that makes you legally eligible for care or assistance

[albva]

They should let you vomit a black sludge and when you are done you feel better about yourself. Also the black sludge forms into an evil clone you can make out with.

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

"do it scared" this "do it tired" that. well no one ever talks about the fucking insurmountable "do it with greasy hair"

[agro-carnist]

talking to outdoor cat defenders like

[crabussy]

someone in the reblogs said “letting mittens outside to kill a few birds is fine because britain’s ecosystems are already decimated to the point where they barely exist anymore”. I’m genuinely so perplexed. you think it’s fine? to let cats kill vulnerable native birds? because they’re already endangered so it doesn’t matter if your cat kills a few more? do you also dump your rubbish in the sea because “the oceans are already polluted, what’s a bit more”? jesus christ people. do you think mittens is the only outdoor cat in the country??? tens to hundreds of thousands of other people do this as well. it’s not a few birds. it’s hundreds of thousands of birds. you are not the only person on earth