timey wimey

🌸🌼🌺

[acutelesbian]

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

[fat-thin-skinny]

this fucks me up every single time

[acutelesbian]

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

[conceitedtrash]

This is so fucking important and I think it’s something I needed right now

[dagwolf]

Vomitous

[demonius-darkblade]

can we please stop pretending this shit is good?!!?! What the fuck!!!!!

[kittycatdeathtrap]

I don’t understand why this is a bad thing??

[demonius-darkblade]

whats sold as inspirational here is somebody whose fear of being fired and having their source of food and shelter yanked away from them forced them to push themselves to unhealthy lengths

[i-rogue]

Walking isn’t unhealthy, whoever told you that is lazy. Dude got a job for a company and wanted to prove his reliability, he could’ve given up and not showed up but unlike most people he made a commitment and stuck to it and guess what. That commitment paid off. Its like you people are unable to handle when. Someone it’s doing better than you.

[demonius-darkblade]

You have never walked 20 miles ever

[aggrokawaii]

whats with all the fucking bootlickers on this site?

[pinkcheesegreenghost-deactivate]

he literally left his house at midnight. 

[edgemarquess]

How does someone see a 20 mile, eight hour walk as “a good work ethic” and not as a man whose been driven beyond his limits to ensure he doesn’t lose the one thing that keeps him from starving to death I mean what the fuck

[i-rogue]

God you people are fucking weak

[airframeextender]

sign your car over to me and walk to work to prove how strong you are

[necrodivergent]

Even for soldiers who have trained specifically for such things, a 20-mile march is a fucking grueling experience. Nobody should have to do that and then be expected to work for eight hours. That is literally insane.

[plain-and-simple-ninja]

(source)

[robertmitchum]

BILL NYE can’t stress the importance of Climate Change enough

[grumblebeeblog-deactivated20190]

If he’s a hopeless husband, she will always make him dinner and never suggest that he look after his own children. If he doesnt understand where the line is when it comes to harassing women, what’s friendly and what’s creepy, then she’ll give him the benefit of the doubt when he harasses or assaults. If he messes up simple tasks like washing his clothes and cleaning the house enough, she will take over out of exhaustion. If he states that he doesnt understand her feelings often enough, she’ll stop asking him to consider them.

Men play stupid because they’re lazy and entitled. They know they cant be blamed for their own supposed lack of understanding. Stop calling them clueless, helpless and stupid and start calling them manipulative.

[signal-failure]

Also the wives/gfs in this scenario have to find the magical right communication style. If she tells him to put the leftovers in an appropriately-sized Tupperware, she’s a nag or a control freak. If she asks him to clean up after dinner, then, oops, he just didn’t know. How could a grown adult know any better than to put two oz. of leftovers in a 2 quart container? Repeat for grown adults who didn’t know that laundry bleach isn’t laundry soap, that plants need an appropriate amount of water, etc. and the nagging-wife archetype starts to seem more like a reasonable-human one.

I’m infuriated by the learned helplessness of men in responsible careers, who apply reason and problem solving just fine outside the kitchen.

[beturbecky]

Might be a lame addition, but talk to the guy in the relationship. Tell them what is the line. Tell them they need to ‘learn’ how to do things. Don’t do it for them, but have them learn on their own. Let them find out themselves if they actually have no idea how to do things (I’ve heard of men that actually have no idea how to do some domestic things). If they are still with their act of stupidity or ignore the line completely, they don’t deserve you.

[puttingherinhistory]

I remember in uni sitting next to two girls in class who were complaining to each other about how tired they were and didn’t have enough time to finish their homework because they had to do their boyfriend’s laundry and clean their boyfriend’s bathrooms for them because their boyfriends didn’t know how. One was only 18 and the other 19. This was only a few years ago. The other day at work one of the women I work with, who’s only 24, was complaining how part of the reason she was struggling to finish her master’s thesis was having to do all the cleaning all the time for her boyfriend and how tired she is from that. Another woman I work with, only 26, complained about how she hates that every day when she comes home from work and she’s all tired from work she still has to cook dinner because her boyfriend doesn’t know how, but when I pointed out how fucked that is she got defensive because hey at least he knows how to heat up a frozen pizza, because she taught him how to.

There’s tutorials for literally anything and everything on YouTube so these boys and men have no fucking excuse, I’ve accidentally ruined some of my favorite clothes too from learning the hard way how to do laundry, made some shitty food while learning how to cook and messed up the recipe or burned it, men can fucking go through with that too.

[shencomix]

[gibberishquestion]

listen this is the fucking funniest garfield strip. you just can't top this one i'm sorry

[narwhalsarefalling]

fun fact

im weirdly knowlagable in the history of soda i dont even drink soda why do i know so much about it

[narwhalsarefalling]

coke and pepsi taste different because coke was invent before refrigeration so it was designed to be drunk warm, while pepsi was designed after refrigeration was invented so it was designed to be drunk cold. as a result the tastes are different but if you drink pepsi cold and coke warm theyll taste the same.

[yoon-ity]

Why the fuck do you know this

[narwhalsarefalling]

i honestly have no idea

coke’s recipe was originally green but the designers made it brown so it looked more like tea

[squirrelstone]

Had they never seen green tea?

[narwhalsarefalling]

i dont even know if green tea was invented in 1886 but they wanted to make the public more open to eating the fizzy drink

[gostaks]

Green tea was invented in the 13th century and made up 22% of the tea thrown off the ship in the Boston Tea Party 

[narwhalsarefalling]

alan i know about soda not green tea

[cheap-pink-mints]

i will trade u information abt bees and carrier pigeons for information abt the history of soda

[narwhalsarefalling]

no one knows where the origin of the name ‘7up’ started but it did have a mood stabilizer in the original recipe found in present day anti-depressants

i want facts about bees and carrier pigeons now

[cheap-pink-mints]

Carrier pigeons come from a species of Wild Rock pigeon, and their flights could be as long as 1800 km and were used as early as 3000 years ago. 

You know in old cartoons where a character throws a beehive at someone, and you think ‘lol, but that wouldn’t work in real life’. Turns out it would, and did. People used to lob beehives at the approximate location of the enemy forces to expose them. 

[narwhalsarefalling]

this is amazing thank you

[megan-cutler]

Threads like this are pretty much the reason I come to Tumblr

[kendrajk]

Informative Ancient Egypt Comics: BROS

Our 1st place contest winner requested a Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep comic as their prize.

[samandriel]

I took a class about Ancient Egypt last semester and we had a whole lecture dedicated to talking about how gay Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep were. Their tomb walls were decorated with scenes of them ignoring their wives in favor of embracing each other. In one scene, the couple is seated at a banquet table that is usually reserved for a husband and wife. There’s an entire motif of Khnumhotep holding lotus flowers which in ancient Egyptian tradition symbolizes femininity. Khnumhotep offers the lotus flower to Niankhkhnum, something that only wives were ever depicted as doing for their husbands. In fact, Khnumhotep is repeatedly depicted as uniquely feminine, being shown smaller and shorter than his partner Niankhkhnum and being placed in the role of a woman. Size is a big deal in Egyptian art, husbands are almost always shown as being larger and taller than their wives. So for two men of equal status to be shown in once again, a marital fashion, is pretty telling. Not to mention they were literally buried together which is the strongest bond two people could share in ancient Egypt, as it would mean sharing the journey to the afterlife together. And yet 90% of the academic text about these two talks about these clues in vague terms and analyze the great “brotherhood” they shared, and the enigma of Khnumhotep being depicted as feminine. Apparently it’s too hard for archaeologists to accept homosexuality in the ancient world, as well as the possibility of trans individuals.

[aeacustero]

On the last note, I was walking around the Field Museum of Natural History in Chicago and there is a mummy on exhibit. It caught my attention because the panel that was describing it was talking about how it was a woman’s body in a male coffin and wow, the Egyptian working that day really screwed that up. My summary, not actual words, sorry I can’t remember verbatim but it basically said that someone screwed up.

They claimed that the Egyptians screwed up a burial.

The Egyptians. Screwed up. A burial.

Now I’m not an expert in Ancient Egypt but from what I know, and what the exhibit was telling me, burials and the afterlife and all that jazz DEFINED the Egyptian religion and culture. They don’t just ‘screw up’. So instead of thinking outside the box for two seconds and wonder why else a genetically female body was in a male coffin, the ‘researchers’ blatantly disregard the rest of their research and decided to call it a screw up. Instead of, you know, admitting that maybe this mummy presented as male during his life and was therefore honorably buried as he was identified. But it would be too much of a stretch to admit that a transgender person could have existed back then.

(Sorry I can’t find any sources online and it’s been like 2 years but it stuck in my mind)

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

There’s a lot of bigoted historian dragging on my dash these days and it makes me happy.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Once again, more proof that we queers have ALWAYS been here, and it’s a CHOSEN narrative to erase them.

[queerrilla]

Reblog because ancient gay power

[speedygal]

ALWAYS. REBLOG. THIS.

And also ancient gay power.

[kingscrown666]

Ancient Gay Power

[vaspider]

[ampersandworm]

I’m going to point out (tho’ the original comic does too) that a lot of times this isn’t a problem with the archaeologists in the field. The people actually doing the work, meticulously cataloging everything and sifting the dirt absolutely know what’s up. The people back at the lab, analyzing their findings, absolutely know what’s up. I mean, yes, homophobes exist and sometimes they go on archaeological digs, but they aren’t the big problem. The big problem, like so many big problems, is systemic.

It’s museum directors and university deans who freak the fuck out, because they’re afraid they’ll get their funding pulled. It’s journalists who deliberately manufacture bad science articles for the clicks. It’s editors and media moguls who demand snide mockery instead of nuance and reason. It’s corporations who want a good PR opportunity and squash anything controversial.

Bigotry is entrenched in our system, and the people in power, who could have the leverage to destroy it, too often either lean into it or are terrified of others using it against them. 

This is a system we can change, but we gotta aim up, not down. Don’t hate on archaeologists for this stuff. Hate the short leash they’re on. 

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

Heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics. 

“Increases your chances by 80%” does not mean “there is now an 80% chance”. 

If your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%. 

if your chances were roughly 1%, they’re now just slightly less than 2%. 

thats how that works. 

[hopeful-weirdo]

Wow I don’t understand math at all

[freinhardt56]

‘if you have a baby after 35, the chance of deformities goes up by 100%’ is a line I hear alot.

It goes up from .5% to 1%

[fandomlockedfan]

I think my brain just stopped working

[authorgirl1111]

100% is just another way of saying twice more likely. So 100% more basically means multiply the number you do have by 2.

[that-catholic-shinobi]

Imagine how many woman are scared to have kids because of that statistic

[what-even-is-thiss]

This is why I took stats instead of calc. Because I don’t build engineer bridges in my everyday life but I sure do read studies that affect how I might live my life if I misinterpret them.

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[liberalsarecool]

Never normalize Nazis.

[fanfckery]

I hate _% of people statistics being used like “oh it’s such a small number” cause 1% is a small number but 1% of 7 billion is 70 million. That’s more than the population of the UK, France or Italy.

6% of the US is 19 million, as stated above. There are only 3 states that have over 19 million people in them. 19 million is the population of the entire state of New York. That’s more than half the population of California.

Taking populations and turning them into percentages is okay until you try to say “oh that’s not a lot of people” but the reality is… That’s millions. That’s enough to be its own country. That’s fucking scary.

[suicunesrider]

Like don’t get me wrong, that’s nicer than the idea that Americans are split pretty 50/50 on such issues…. but that’s still 3 neo-Nazis for every Jew in the country.    6% is a nice, softened way of saying “over 1 in 20 people”.

[shoshanah-ben-hohim]

3 neo-Nazis for every Jew in the country. 

3 neo-Nazis for every Jew in the country. 

3 neo-Nazis for every Jew in the country. 

Let that sink in. Then think about how your Jewish friends and neighbors feel right now, and have been feeling all this time.

[lalalandlala123-deactivated2021]

And that’s only the people who “Identify” 

[cartnsncreal]

I bet racists gonna hate this  

[azrael-the-lucifan]

Superman is technically an undocumented immigrant.

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

Superman was literally created by a Jewish man to represent the plight of Jewish immigrants so yes he’s 100% an undocumented immigrant

[rosswoodpark]

‪GOD I found another article about why ADHD kids say “I don’t know” so much. my entire childhood was getting yelled at for doing some ADHD shit and me not being able to offer an explanation when asked why I did something. ‬

[abcsofadhd]

Adding to this, its cause of our executive dysfunction and emotional dysregulation (naturally there’s more things at play than just these two but I’m naming main aspects).

We tend to have alexithymia, meaning we have difficulty identifying and describing own feelings. 

You can’t say how you feel if you legit don’t know.

Self monitoring is an executive function; our self awareness about how we are doing presently .. which is hampered in ADHDers. 

You can’t say what you think if you legit don’t know.

[gayvian]

oh my god

[quick-nip]

[plaguedoctormemes]

[knifefightscene]

“we’re ruining the planet” i’m sorry who is this we i don’t recall myself running a billion dollar oil business

[afeelgoodblog]

Blessed adoption idea.

[goodbyeeveryonee-deactivated202]

I just finished babysitting my friend’s children, and she has most definitely mastered the no spanking/alternative discipline route. I always talk about taking it because I don’t believe in abusing children, but I’ve never personally seen it in action by a Black parent. Her children are 2 and 5 and they are the kindest, nicest toddlers I’ve ever met. They listen to her because she’s their mom and they automatically recognize she’s important and she gives them what they want (love and affection and rewards). In return they like to clean for her and give her artwork and cuddles all of the time.

To get them to listen to her, she makes sure to listen to them and what they’ve got to say instead of telling them to shut up all the time. The 5 year old asked her a few months ago why you can’t eat food that was on the floor after picking up food on the floor, and she explained it calmly and clearly. He asked 4 other questions after that and she answered all of them. He was satisfied and happy with the answers, and ever since he hasn’t done those things. She lets them gush and gush about Hot Wheels or Team Umizoomi and engages with them and counts with them and everything, so they never feel alone or neglected enough to not want to obey.

My friend lets them make mistakes by themselves on the rare chance they don’t listen so they can learn from them and let that be punishment enough. For example, the younger one we’ve been telling not to go near the dog cage because he doesn’t like dogs. He went near it a while ago, got his hand licked, freaked out, and hasn’t been anywhere near it since. The board on the wall that she uses has a column for each boy horizontally, and vertically are all the traits she wants them to have, like being nice, listening to her and their teachers, eating their food, cleaning up, having manners, etc. They get a sticker whenever they do it for the day, and they lose all their stickers when they break a habit. That’s enough punishment for them, so they don’t break it.

When they wake up, it’s cleanup time, or bedtime, she plays what she calls “musical habits”. She puts on a playlist of their favorite songs (it’s like 20-25 minutes) that make them feel motivated, and they should be finished getting ready or cleaning by the time the last song is over. If they’re not, they get a toy from their toy bin taken away or an Oreo from their snack bag taken out (aka eaten by her). But she hasn’t ever gotten to that because they always finish. They don’t even like hearing the consequences lol. And I just wanted to say I really enjoyed seeing good parenting by a Black woman that wasn’t abusive or harmful to the child’s development, it gave me inspiration and hope. Just had to talk about it somewhere.

[goodbyeeveryonee-deactivated202]

I wrote this post about a year ago. Since then, I’ve become the godmother to both of these babies, and they are STILL so well behaved. I babysit from time to time. They’re also enrolled in Montessori programs.

She’s now teaching them about mindfulness, Spanish, self care, and cooking. They have little yoga mats and practice breathing in and out with her every morning, and then they do affirmations together. I visited them a while back and they have a new board up! She created a system where they’re challenged with the task to do something nice for each other or for someone else every week. With this challenge they’re instructed to use their listening skills to figure out what that person might want or need, and then figure out how they should react. The only reward at the end of the week is a big hug and some snacks, and every month, she lets them have a movie day if they’ve done really well.

She’s also making them use their words when they’re upset instead of grumbling in silence. Her oldest one was notorious for that. She made up a little saying to remind him: “Mommy can’t help if Mommy doesn’t know.” It’s forced him to explain why he’s upset and that gives them a chance to have an actual conversation about it. Now they talk about ANYTHING. If they don’t feel like talking at that moment and they express that, she’ll lead them to their playroom and turn their favorite show on or let them meditate or draw until they’ve cooled down. She also accepts letters if they just didn’t want to use their words. It was so good to watch.

By the way, I got many messages about this post asking me to ask my friend where she learned these techniques. She said that she wrote down all the ways her parents hurt, hindered, or stunted her developmental growth and then wrote down ways they could’ve approached it better or loved her better. That second list is her guideline. 

[rashemibabe]

I usually see people say they’re never gonna treat their kids like their parents treated them yet end up doing it anyways. So this is encouraging… knowing that it is possible to be better than you’re parents.

[cat-harman92]

If I ever have a kid this is the parent I aspire to be 

[dea-certe]

That bit at the end? To write down all the ways her parent messed up and how to fix it? I like that. I need to try that.

[imfemalewarrior]

For any Mothers or Mothers-to-be following me! 

-FemaleWarrior, She/They