sino sa inyo may ari ng tiktok account na to i just wanna talk 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
sclr (@sclvcr) on TikTok | 4.4K Likes. 137 Followers. Watch the latest video from sclr (@sclvcr).
i just want everyone to know na this is NOT me. hindi ako napopost ng smaus sa tiktok or kahit pa sa twitter. sa tumblr lang lahat ng gawa ko. hindi rin ako pumapayag na irepost o itranslate mga gawa ko.
kung gusto niyo rin magpost smau , gumawa kayo ng inyo. kung gusto niyo ‘yung concept sa au na nabasa niyo at gusto niyong gayahin o gumawa ng inspired dun, aba pwede naman din kayo magpaalam ‘di ba? ‘wag kayo basta-bastang nangunguha ng gawa ng iba. pinaghirapan ‘yan, huy. idol mo ba pamilya ng presidente natin at ganyan ka?
kung nababasa man ‘to ng may-ari ng account na ‘yan, idelete mo na ‘yung apat na au na pinost mo na gawa ko, o kaya turn on mo na rin comments ng mga posts mo sa tiktok. pwede ring i-dm mo na lang ako at kausapin mo ko. hindi naman ako nangangagat. :)
hi! ik i’ve been inactive here for months it’s mostly because of the writer’s block, but i have been very active on my filo sideblog @neoswift writing aus in filipino, and someone told me that someone has been posting my smaus from that blog on tiktok.
idrk how to report this acc and the aus they’ve reposted on there bc copyright infringement needs a lot of personal details but maybe mass reporting will do something? i’m not sure.
someone also told me that my au on this blog, “rating my ex crushes” was also posted on tiktok but i’m not sure which account posted it. if you see other smaus of mine posted anywhere other than tumblr, let me know.
let me make this clear: i don’t want any of my works to be translated or reposted anywhere. if you want to post an au, make your own. if you liked the concept of my smau and wanted to do something similar or inspired by it, you can always just ask me about it. please don’t repost other people’s works, especially without their permission.
and if you’re the person who owns that tiktok account, please remove the aus from your profile, or talk to me.
sino sa inyo may ari ng tiktok account na to i just wanna talk 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
sclr (@sclvcr) on TikTok | 4.4K Likes. 137 Followers. Watch the latest video from sclr (@sclvcr).
i just want everyone to know na this is NOT me. hindi ako napopost ng smaus sa tiktok or kahit pa sa twitter. sa tumblr lang lahat ng gawa ko. hindi rin ako pumapayag na irepost o itranslate mga gawa ko.
kung gusto niyo rin magpost smau , gumawa kayo ng inyo. kung gusto niyo ‘yung concept sa au na nabasa niyo at gusto niyong gayahin o gumawa ng inspired dun, aba pwede naman din kayo magpaalam ‘di ba? ‘wag kayo basta-bastang nangunguha ng gawa ng iba. pinaghirapan ‘yan, huy. idol mo ba pamilya ng presidente ng bansang ‘to at ganyan ka?
kung nababasa man ‘to ng may-ari ng account na ‘yan, idelete mo na ‘yung apat na au na pinost mo na gawa ko, o kaya turn on mo na rin comments ng mga posts mo sa tiktok. pwede ring i-dm mo na lang ako at kausapin mo ko. hindi naman ako nangangagat. :)
send me an ask if you’d like to be added to my taglist!
pairing lee haechan x reader
genre Angst.
wc 6000
warnings Mentions of food, Cursing, Manipulation (?) - lmk if you find anything else!
playlist. it'll be okay - shawn mendes, atlantis - seafret, already gone - sleeping at last, please don't leave - lola amour, maligayang pagkukunwari - mrld, hatid - the juans
notes happy birthday (belated) haechan! also, if you're uncomfortable or you find this fic too hard, pls don't hesitate to stop reading. also let me know if you'd like a part 2!
Haechan knew something was wrong.
There was something wrong with the way you had greeted him today, with the usual ‘happy birthday’ but not the usual three exclamation points and a heart. There was something wrong with the way you were avoiding him all day. He was growing worried - you weren’t answering his calls nor his messages. He figured you were busy, but come lunchtime, he hadn’t heard from you ever since your greeting last one in the morning.
He thought he was overthinking when it was you whom he first saw when the blindfold was removed. And he was surely overthinking it when you seemed to enjoy yourself surrounded by friends. And maybe he is. Because if he was the sun, you were the moon thriving under his light earlier in his apartment as you welcomed every guest you invited. Everyone was there. Your friends from middle school up to his classmates in college, everyone was having fun. Haechan seemed to enjoy himself as he serves himself a glass of champagne, a smile dancing on his face when Jaemin approached him, pulling him towards the two-tiered cake you had customized just for his birthday.
“Come on, man, it’s your birthday,” Jaemin said as he pushed Haechan towards his cake. The latter rolled his eyes at his best friend's actions.
A crowd gathered around him and his cake. He figured he’d see you there after he’d seen you a few, maybe ten minutes ago, conversing with Mark. But as his eyes roamed around the crowd, you weren’t there. He thought you’d be there by the front, a wide smile on your face, holding your yellow phone, trying to take a video of him blowing his cake.
But you weren’t there and he was trying to shake the feeling that something was wrong.
“Hey, Hyuck,” Jaemin snapped his fingers. “Make a wish, buddy.”
Haechan shook his head as a forced smile made its way into his face, closing his eyes to make a wish. He wished he was just overthinking, that you were probably just in the comfort room when they decided he should just blow the candles. He wished he was just overthinking it. But he had a strong feeling he wasn’t.
Everyone around him clapped when the candles were blown, but he was still looking for you. He thought you’d come with plates and a knife to cut the cake, breezily cutting through the crowd, using your knife to easily part them - just like what you had done on his past birthdays. But you didn’t. It was Renjun who delivered the knife to him to cut the first slice. And it was Yangyang who was holding the plates.
Haechan felt his stomach sink when he thought maybe you had left. But he quickly shook the feeling off, focusing instead on cutting the cake in front of him. All it did, however, was remind him of you and all the birthdays you have spent together.
Ever since Haechan can remember, you were always there - dunking his face on his cake on his third birthday, blowing the candles for him (which made him mad) on his seventh birthday, surprising him in a bar on his twenty-first, and then surprising him in his apartment right now on his twenty-second.
He felt himself frown when he remembered maybe you had left early to catch a train back to your place.
“Hey, man,” Yangyang tapped his shoulder. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Haechan nodded, “Have you seen Y/N?”
Yangyang’s face fell in the realization of what the celebrant was worried about. “Nope, last I saw her was when we were talking before you arrived.”
“Oh,” Haechan nodded. “You, Renjun, have seen her?”
“Nope,” Renjun shook his head.
Haechan quickly finished cutting up the cake, letting the guests be the ones to serve themselves pieces of it.
“Hey, Mark,” he tapped the Canadian on his shoulder.
“Yo, Haechan,” Mark greeted back. “Happy birthday, dude! I can’t believe you’re old.”
“Thanks, you’re older though.” Mark laughed. Haechan flashed a quick smile before diving into the question he was meaning to ask. “Have you seen Y/N before the cake cutting?”
“Sorry, dude, I haven’t. When we were talking, she excused herself to greet Xiaojun who recently arrived then.”
Haechan weaved through the crowd. Man, you invited a lot of people tonight. People he passed by greeted him like paparazzi asking for photos, and he quickly said his thanks as he passed by each one, not sure if the person greeted him.
Everything was going blurry for him, only focused on his goal of knowing where you went.
He saw Xiaojun talking with Ten by the window in his living room. Despite the small space in his own apartment, he managed to run toward the two, nearly knocking over Johnny in the process.
“Woah, dude,” Johnny held his shoulders. “Steady.”
“Sorry,” Haechan mumbled before yelling Xiaojun’s name who was walking away with Ten. “Xiaojun! Wait up!”
Xiaojun stopped in his tracks, turning around to face Haechan. “Hey, man, what’s up?”
“Have you seen Y/N?” Haechan panted. He felt like he ran a marathon with how loud he yelled Xiaojun’s name.
“Oh, last we talked was before you blew your cake. She went to Doyoung I think?” Xiaojun answered, unsure. “Or maybe it was Jaehyun? I’m not sure. They really looked like each other from the back.” He scratched the back of his neck.
Haechan nodded, but his eyes were distantly scanning over the crowd, looking for Doyoung and Jaehyun. Maybe you’re still here, but for each person that passes who hasn’t seen you, his hope keeps crumbling down.
“Hey, Taeyong,” he heard Xiaojun beside him. Haechan turned his head towards them. “Have you seen both Doyoung and Jaehyun?”
“Yeah,” Taeyong nodded. “I saw them leave with Y/N.”
“Oh,” Xiaojun shot Haechan a frown.
His feet were the ones to think as he darted across the room towards his door, quickly leaving his place. But the hallway was empty. No one was there, except for him. He thought he was delusional when he still caught a whiff of Jaehyun’s strong perfume, quickly dismissing it as his brain playing tricks.
With a sigh, he headed back inside, aiming to take a breath in his room.
He was out of it tonight, it seemed. His mood quickly dropped as he started to feel how heavy his steps were becoming.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he immediately went to your contact. “Cake seller <3,” it reads. He quickly pushed the call button, growing impatient with the second delay it took before ringing.
It rang…for a few seconds before it immediately dropped.
Haechan stared at his phone for a moment, wondering whether you had dropped the call or lost the signal.
Just to be sure, he called you again.
“Hey, man, you alright?” Jaemin called to him from across the hall.
“Yeah,” Haechan yelled back, reaching his bedroom door. “Just going to get something.”
He went through your messages. Surely, you would have shot a quick message before leaving. But there wasn’t one.
He could feel his anxiety going through the roof when he entered his room, calling you for the third time.
His hope started to rise when he heard your phone ringing inside his room. He knew it was yours. It was playing ‘Billie Jean’ by Michael Jackson, the specific ringtone you had set to his name back when you were both thirteen and it had stuck since then.
He turned his back to the door, closing it with his foot as his eyes roamed around the room, looking for any signs of you. And there it was, your bag laid down, its contents spilled out on his bed. Haechan could care less about that. His eyes landed on his balcony, and there you were in your black party dress, leaning against the railing. He couldn’t see your face, but he knew it was you. He would recognize you everywhere - even in the middle of a crowd with the way you stand like the world was your own and you didn’t care whose eyes are watching. But this, seeing you hunched over his railing, hair flying back, he concluded that, perhaps, he recognized you a little less than before.
He took long strides to get across his room quickly, towards the sliding door that leads to his balcony. From the back, it looked like you were admiring the view his balcony offers, looking down on the city lights below. Haechan almost debated opening his balcony, afraid he’d destroy the serenity you’re in.
But then he saw it, the slight shake of your shoulder as you choked back a sob, and he wasted no time opening the sliding door which led to you.
He saw you take notice of his presence, quickly bringing your hand to wipe your tears away. “Hey.” He ended the call, putting his phone in the back pocket of his jeans as he stared at you, frozen for a moment.
“Hey,” your voice shook.
“Are you okay?” Haechan hugged you from behind.
“Yeah,” you answered shakily, holding his hand.
“You’re not,” he declared, taking your hand and spinning you around so you could face him. Despite having tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes, he still thought you were still the most beautiful person he had seen. And he wished nothing more than to take your pain away.
His thumb grazed your cheeks, wiping away the tears that continued to fall.
“I’m sorry,” you sobbed in his hands. “I’m sorry.”
He grew confused. Still, he pulled you into a tight hug, afraid he’ll lose you. Not knowing he had already lost you.
He kissed the top of your head, his hands wrapping tighter around you as you sobbed in his chest. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I have.” He felt you struggle to get out of his hold. He loosened the hug a little, only for you to look up at him, cupping his face and making his eyes meet your bloodshot ones. He hated the sight of it, truly. As far as he can remember, he hated seeing you cry. At first, he was annoyed whenever you would cry back in kindergarten. But as he grew up, he started to hate what caused it. He wished he could take the pain away.
“I’m sorry,” you said. Haechan was starting to hate the phrase. What are you sorry for? As far as he knew, you never did anything. Only today, when he thought you were gone. But that was it. And it wasn’t a big deal for him now.
You pulled him into a kiss. It was soft and tender, salty with the tears that had coated your face. He wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling you in for a deeper kiss. Yet, you pulled away as quickly as you kissed him. “I’m sorry.”
His eyebrows knitted at your words. “For what?” He softly said, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“This party,” you struggled to get out. “It feels wrong. The whole time I was planning it. It just felt like an order - a responsibility I have to do. Yet, somehow, it also feels right. Like everything I’ve been questioning is finally getting its answers.”
At first, he grew more confused. You didn’t have to do this for him. He was perfectly fine with just having dinner with you. Hell, he was even fine with just getting a facetime call from you across the country. He pursed his lips, trying to piece the puzzle pieces you laid out before him. You always talked in mystery, and he liked that about you.
“Fitting, I guess,” you chuckled, crossing your arms before turning your back to him towards the view. “For the last time.”
Oh.
Your words hit him like a truck.
“No.” He shook his head. “That’s not...That’s not true.”
You looked back at him, a sad smile on your face. “It is.”
“It’s…” He trailed off.
Haechan thought back from High School graduation up to here, this moment happening right now. You went halfway across the country for college, while he stayed in Seoul. Right from the start, you were unsure about entering a long-distance relationship, even going as far as almost breaking up with him. But Haechan fought for what you have, not letting you go for a second. He kept mentioning things about how the two of you could always visit each other. There’s also technology to update one another. He won the argument then, feeling like he had just won the lottery when you agreed on continuing your relationship long distance.
Then, years went by, and he started seeing less of you. You only came home during break, which was thrice a year. And he was also busy with his classes in Architecture. Time proved to be a villain for the two of you. Texts became less frequent, and calls became fewer - even going as far as not talking for two weeks because of finals.
But still, Haechan figured that the popular phrase, distance makes the heart grow fonder, proved to be right for the two of you as you spent every break you had together as if nothing happened.
Yet, Haechan wondered where it went wrong. And then he realized that maybe…maybe he’s sorry too.
He blinked back the hot tears that threatened to fall. If your words hit him like a truck, his realization was the hardest as he felt his heart clench and stopped beating for a moment. He collected his thoughts, breathing deep as he tried to shake the feeling off.
This wasn’t what the both of you wanted, he figured that now. You weren’t going against each other. Rather, you are both losing the fight. There are no winners (or maybe it’s the universe or destiny, or whatever shit people believe in who wins), only losers, and it’s them. Haechan almost chuckled at the thought of the two of you having the letter L branded on your foreheads, big and bold.
Relief should have come by now, as he figured he was feeling the same way. Why is it he feels so heavy? Haechan felt the cold wind pick up its pace, his hands growing colder and clammier with each second that passes.
If love was staying despite all obstacles, it was also letting go in spite of it.
Then why is it so hard?
The two of you felt the same. You, having concluded for a while, and him just only realizing it now. Yet, Haechan still found it hard to let go.
Maybe it was because you were all he had known all his life. You were his best friend for as long as he could remember. And he was yours right from the start. He thought you were soulmates - something that would last for life.
He swallowed the lump in his throat, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. “It is, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” you breathed out, shakily, hugging yourself tighter as you leaned against the railing.
“So,” Haechan intoned. “This is it?”
“Yeah,” you faced him. Haechan was glad no tears were running down your face, only bloodshot eyes and cheeks tinted a bit red because of the cold. “It feels wrong to continue something just because it’s what you’re used to.”
Haechan understood that. There was no fight left in him. As much as he feels like begging on your knees to stay, he knew, in the deepest, darkest, part of his mind that it was right to just agree. The two of you would be better off just ripping the bandage off today.
But he wanted to be selfish first. Just for this night. It was his birthday, after all.
“Can you…can we pretend, just for tonight, that this conversation didn’t happen and we’re still happy as ever?” It felt like poison coming out of his mouth. “And then, then let me take you home - like old times, just so I know you’re safe.”
He saw you tightly close your eyes. “God.” You ran a hand through your hair, as you bit your lip and looked to the side. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Just,” he took your hands in his and stared at your eyes as they found his brown ones. “Just for tonight. Please.” He felt his voice crack at the end.
“It’s my birthday,” he added. “Just let us finish this party first before we part ways.”
He felt pathetic, asking you for a few more hours when he knew it would be better off finished now. Fuck the universe, he bitterly thought. Fuck the universe and its games. Fuck whoever is moving the chess pieces and had them locked in checkmate. Fuck the universe for telling them it’s over.
He’s sick of it. Why can’t they just give him this night?
“I..” You looked at his face for answers. Haechan choked back a sob as he wiped your tears away, not minding his own that were rolling down his chin.
“Please,” Haechan whispered. He could feel his knees giving out. “Just this one. Let me have this.”
And his knees gave out.
He pushed you away, leaning his side towards the railing and sliding down as he buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry.” He sobbed. “I’m sorry I asked. It felt wrong, so wrong that I wanted it just as much.”
He felt you shuffle in front, but he couldn’t see what you were doing. He feared you were leaving him there, in a pathetic state, with his knees on the floor and his hands covering his face on his birthday.
But none of that happened. Instead, you took his hands away from his face, replacing them with your own as you kneeled in front of him, wiping his tears away.
“Okay,” you nodded - once, twice, thrice before you blinked your tears away. “Okay, we’ll do it.”
Haechan couldn’t find it in himself to say no, even when he knew how wrong it was and how much pain it would cause. He had no fight in him. He thought, what was the worst that could happen when it already happened.
He stood up shakily as you pulled him up.
“Okay, we’ll do it,” you repeated, wiping your hands on your dress. To him, it felt like you were conditioning yourself. He lets it chip away at his conscience, shaking his head to fend off the guilt he was feeling.
He watched you reenter his bedroom, fixing your things that were laid on his bed. He watched as you stuffed all of them in your bag, not bothering to organize them. You were always like that, and he was tempted to grab the bag from you and fix your things. But he didn’t have the right anymore.
So, he did the best he could do. He stood there and watched as you left it back on his bed.
“Let’s go,” you swallowed, giving him a forced smile, and offering him your hand.
“Are you okay?” He whispered as he took your hand.
“I will be.” You gave him a fake smile. He saw right through it.
You fixed his shirt, smoothing it out before he opened the door, leading you out.
Back at the party, everyone’s eyes were on the two of you. They could probably see the bloodshot eyes and tear-stained face the two of you sport as they concerned looks towards the both of you. Haechan shook it off, but he saw how your hand trembled beside him. He grabbed your hand and intertwined it in his, shooting you a reassuring smile.
“Hey,” Jaemin was the first person to approach. It felt like the two of you were a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. “We’re wrapping up the leftovers. Y/N, do you want to take home some cake?”
“I…” You looked at him.
“Yeah, pack at least 2 slices,” Haechan answered for you.
“Okay,” Jaemin nodded apprehensively.
The second person to approach was Sungchan and Chenle.
“Hey, can we take a picture of the two of you?” Sungchan waved around Chenle’s brand new Instax Mini in his hand.
“Sure,” you said, smiling at the two of them. Sungchan smiled back. Chenle, however, was pouty with how his film was being used him.
Haechan heard Sungchan whisper in Chenle’s ear that he’ll replace the used-up film, the younger smiled. Haechan only shook his head at the two as he posed with you.
It was only one shot, and he had his hand wrapped around your waist. He figured this would be the last time he’d hold you like this. He savored it as much as he could, hooking his chin on the top of your head, as he smiled.
As soon as the picture came out, Chenle snatched it out of the camera, shaking it furiously. And when the image became clear, he handed it to you, along with the words: “Stay strong, soulmates,” and a wink, in true Chenle fashion.
Haechan looked at the picture in your hands. And then something snapped.
It seemed like you felt it too, as you hastily passed the photo to Haechan, almost as if it had electrocuted you before running back towards his room.
Haechan remembered Chenle and Renjun once, telling him of a myth - the red string of fate. It was said that a deity attaches the ends of the string around the ankle of two lovers who are destined for each other. The cord may stretch or tangle, but never break.
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Haechan figured that it was their cord he felt that snap. As much as he tried to believe that it was the red string of fate, it wasn’t. It was never tied by a god or the universe, to begin with. It was just tied by the two of you as built up by your friendship and relationship throughout the years, like the string you and him glued on the back of cans so you could talk to each other from different rooms.
And strings tied together are bound to break when stretched.
He ran after you. Of course, he would, he’s supposed to take you home.
“Wait, let me take you home,” he said, running around his room for his license and keys.
You shook your head as tears fall from your eyes. “No need, Hyuck. I can manage.”
“No,” he blocked your exit.
“Please,” your voice trembled as you stared into his eyes. “Let me go.”
Haechan felt his walls crumble. This time, he knew he was the cause of your tears. It was his selfishness that caused it. He shouldn’t have asked you to stay and pretend.
You took his weakness as your exit, pushing him away as you rushed out.
He followed you out, almost tripping on his own feet as he slipped his license into his back pocket while following you out the door.
He was lucky the guests were wearing out by this time. Only their close friends remain, and Haechan’s parents were nowhere to be found. They probably left already.
“Y/N, wait,” he pulled your hand back when you almost reached the door.
“What is it, Hyuck?” You sighed.
“Let me take you home,” he begged.
“No,” you firmly answered him. “I can’t let you.”
“Please.” Haechan felt every last thread of his dignity give out as tears pooled in his eyes and he let them fall.
You didn’t answer. Instead, you harshly opened the door, almost slamming it into Hyuck’s face as you exited.
Haechan didn’t let the door close, his hand coming into contact with the hardwood. He pushed it open as hard as he can and ran after you, catching up to you by the middle of the hallway, where the elevators were.
His eyes took note of the arrow down button you had pressed, quickly pulling you into the tightest hug he could give as you sobbed into his chest, hugging him tightly back.
“Haechan,” you called him. And he shut his eyes tight as tears fell harder from his eyes.
“Hyuck,” you called him again. “Please, please let me go.”
Haechan wasn’t sure why he was still holding on when he knew there was already nothing to hold onto. He already came up with his conclusion. And as much as it was hard to accept, it was real. It isn’t merely an opinion. It was a fact, and facts cannot be distorted, as much as he would like to do so.
“Let me get you home safely first,” He swallowed the lump down his throat, patting the part of your hair that was wet with his tears. “And then, I’ll let you go. We’ll let each other go.”
“Okay.”
He wasn’t sure what pushed you to agree, but he was sure that was his only win for the night.
\\\\////
Haechan took the long way home.
It was another one of his selfish decisions tonight and he was starting to regret taking it. At this point, he was just stacking it all up just to make you stay for an extra moment.
This was his Cornelia Street. He’d been listening too much of your playlists to know what Cornelia Street is, and he decided then, in his drive, that this was it. Something he’d never take again, and every time he would attempt to, it will be haunted by the ghosts of his past with you.
He figured this was yours too, with the way you hugged your knees tighter in the passenger seat. He saw you wipe away your tears with the back of your hand, sniffling as they continued to fall.
He wished he had a genie who could grant him three wishes. He already knew what those three things would be.
(One, he’d wish all the pain you carry would go away. Two, he’d wish it didn’t have to hurt this hard for the both of you. And three, that he could take your hand in his and rub his thumb on the back of your palm just to ease the pain the two of you are feeling. It was something he used to do, whenever you were sad. He’d rub circles on the back of your palm until you fall asleep. It was his way of letting you know he was there for you. But he knew he’d already done enough damage. And enough is enough.)
“I’m sorry.” That was all he could say at the moment.
“Me too,” he heard you say.
As he continued to drive, he became plagued by all the memories the both of you had. He remembered biking down this road with you one summer afternoon. There was also a memory here of the two of you taking a midnight stroll and talking about the latest Taylor Swift album. He remembered listening to you marvel about how great of a songwriter she is, a ghost of a smile on his. This was also the street he chased you down - when you were running away from him right after you tried to break up with him right after high school.
He passed by a deserted playground. He specifically remembered crying when you were the one who scraped your knee after jumping in the middle of a high swing.
Man, he missed those days.
“I’m sorry,” he gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I’m sorry I pushed you today. I’m sorry I pushed you to go back to the party and pretend we never broke up. I’m sorry I pushed you to let me bring you home, and now we’re here.”
“It’s okay,” you chuckled. Haechan was a bit relieved to hear your laugh.
“Everything just reminds you of us, right?” He looked at you as you turned your head towards him.
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah.”
And then the diner where you used to spend the majority of your high school came into view, and memories of you and him inside that diner rushed back into him. He felt a wave of nausea set in, but he pushed it back.
“Do you want to eat?” He asked you.
“No,” you answered.
And that was it. Haechan let the silence linger, afraid to be the one to break it.
“Why is it this is so hard when we both know we already grew up?” You asked him. “Everything already changed. Why is it so hard to let go?”
Why is it that when he was the one asking the questions to himself, he couldn’t figure out a direct answer? But with you, it was just so easy. He added it to his mental list of things he should stop getting used to, along that list are things such as you - your smile, the way your tongue slides out when you’re focused, the way you jump in excitement, and the way you’re looking at him now: expectant, surely knowing he has an answer. Haechan doesn’t know why, but when it comes to you, he has an answer for every question.
“We’re each other’s lifelines,” Haechan answered honestly as he looked at you when he stopped at a red light. He let his hand wander to your face, wiping away the tears before focusing back on the read. “And when a person loses a lifeline, it becomes harder to live.”
“We’ll push through, right?”
Though unsure if he really will, Haechan answered. “We will.”
“I’m sorry it has to end like this,” he heard you say.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Haechan told you. “We don’t have to be sorry. We reached the end of the line together, it’s only right to finish this together.”
“Okay,” you nodded. You straightened your legs as you noticed your house come into view. “Hyuck, you don’t have to be sorry too. For tonight, especially. We were each other’s lifeline, you said. It was only right to hold on. I’m sorry I let go too fast.”
“What did I just say?” Haechan parked the car in front of your house. “You don’t have to be sorry, okay? Things end and I guess we’ll just have to accept that.”
“Thanks,” you smiled at him, one that didn’t reach your eyes. But it was genuine, nonetheless.
“Hey, Hyuck,” you tapped his shoulder. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“Yeah,” he answered as tears threatened to fall once again. This was it. The end he was dreading. Something he wanted to chase away, only to end up right back in front of it. “I won’t be. I was your best friend first, and your lover second. I will always be your best friend, okay? Don’t be afraid to tell me anything.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, letting your tears fall into your lap.
Haechan looked away for a second and let his tears fall. As much as he wanted to sob right then and there, he wanted to comfort you, and seeing him cry was the last thing he wanted you to do.
Silently, he prayed that the pain would go away.
Minutes passed and you were still there, crying, and oh, how it breaks his heart so much more.
It wasn’t easy to let go of a lifeline. It was like losing a part of yourself. And Haechan wished he was a kid again and in your neighborhood’s playground, asking to play with you. Just like how it went from the start.
He couldn’t take it anymore. He went out of the car and to your side, opening your door, so he could kneel and hug you without all the car gears in the middle.
He felt you sob into his shoulder, as you hugged him tightly. This would be the last time you’d hug like this. And Hyuck wanted to save this moment. So, he embraced you tighter - burying his face in your neck. He felt you stiffen as his lips brushed across your neck. Afraid he had done something wrong, he was already pulling away. But you pulled him back, hugging him tighter than ever. And he sighed. He sighed as he buried his face in your neck once again.
“Don’t be a stranger, okay?” You whispered in his ear, kissing the top of his head.
“I won’t,” Haechan answered back.
And then, that was it.
Haechan stood up, letting you pass by him one last time as you bid him farewell with a sad smile.
He saw the light on your front porch light up as your parents exit the door with concerned faces. Haechan figured he should run now, but he didn’t. Instead, he watched as your figure retreated inside the house, your father following you inside, before turning back to his car.
“Haechan,” your mother called him. He had no choice but to turn back around. She greeted him with a warm hug. He was baffled as to why she did that. Her child just went home crying, something he promised he wouldn’t let you do. “Happy birthday, sweetie.”
Haechan felt himself weaken with the hug. It was all becoming too much, and bottling up all these things with you just had him reaching his breaking point. He craved this - a warm, comforting hug.
“I’m sorry,” he sobbed to your mother’s shoulders. Your mother was practically a second mother to him. With all the time he spent over at yours, your mother raised him, often babysitting him when his parents can’t come home due to their work. She would always pack him lunch, even in high school, when she knew very well that they could buy their lunch. And when the time came that he was courting you, she was the one who helped him, making him promise he’d never let you come home like this, crying and heartbroken because of him. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shh,” She patted the back of his head. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” he shook his head in her shoulders.
“It will,” she was quick to shoot him down. “I’m sorry it had to hurt like this for the two of you. But it will be okay. Time will heal the both of you.”
Time is a funny thing, Haechan thought bitterly. It was the one who broke them apart. Yet, it dares to present itself as something that will heal them like some kind of two-faced character in a movie who presents itself as the ally who later turns out to be a villain. Haechan wasn’t sure if he could trust time this time.
Once he had calmed down, he quickly wiped his tears away, pulling away from the hug. “Thanks for that. I needed it.”
“No problem, Haechan,” your mother flashed him a gentle smile. “It will be okay, alright? Hang in there.”
“Thanks,” he nodded as he went back to his car.
The last thing he heard before he drove off was your mother yelling at him to stay safe.
\\\\////
Jaemin:
hey man, you left yn’s cake here.
Haechan:
take it home. eat it, whatever.
Jaemin:
sure ?
thanks ig
Haechan sighed as he turned off his phone, putting it in the back pocket of his jeans as he went inside the nearest 7/11, looking for anything that could take his mind off of everything that happened.
He grabbed three soju bottles, not minding the flavors, and skipped towards the counter, anxious to open them.
It was funny how life had its way around him. A lot of things he planned for the future were falling apart and the biggest of them was a life with you. This was one of the things he was sure of. And now, he was sure it was far from reality.
If he could, he’d pick all the puzzle pieces apart once again. But he knew that even if he did that, the same thing would form. Nothing different would happen. He hoped that, if the multiverse was real and there were other versions of him, they were doing different puzzles. At least one of them should end up happy.
In the end, he could only wish for your happiness.
He leaned back on his car seat with a sigh as he opened the first bottle of soju, not even wincing from the bitter taste it left on his tongue, ending his birthday on that note.
Here’s to 22, he guesses, cheering with no one.
please don’t steal any of my works & repost it elsewhere!
NOTES. this has been in my drafts for too long lol. not beta-ed. hope you enjoy<3 lmk what you think!
Crisp afternoon air greeted you as you went down the steps of your building - done with your finals. You couldn’t help but take a deep breath as you clutched your bag tighter in your hands, relief and exhaustion clouding your thoughts. All you wanted to do was lay down on your bed and call him.
It’s been days since the last time the two of you talked - him, busy with his schedules for work, while you were busy with your finals. It’s understandable, really. The longest you haven’t talked was a month when he went to the States for the promotion of his new album. But that doesn’t mean you don’t miss him. You do. So much.
“Bye, Y/N!” Your friend called your attention as you reached the middle of the stairs. She was already down below on the pavement, holding open the car door as she waved goodbye to you. You waved back with a “See you later!” as she climbed inside the car, leaving you by yourself as you went down the last few steps.
As your eyes scanned what was in front of you - the sunken garden, and joggers, as well as fellow students taking a stroll this afternoon - you noticed a familiar black car parked down below and him leaning on it. He was wearing his gray hoodie, hands tucked in its front pocket, as he watched you walk down the steps. You couldn’t exactly see his smile as he was wearing a black face mask, but you saw the way his eyes lit up when he met your surprised ones.
He met you halfway down, taking your hand in his and pulling you down the last few steps. As soon as you reached the side of his car, he leaned once again on the door, pulling you in for a tight hug. You buried your face on the crook of his neck, his familiar Jo Malone scent bringing you home after months of being apart.
“Tiring day?” Yangyang asked you softly, his hands combing through your shoulder-length hair.
“Missed you,” you murmured, planting a soft kiss on the side of his neck. “So much.”
“Missed you too, love,” he said, kissing the top of your head for a moment before putting some distance between the two of you. Your hands now hang loosely on the sides of his neck, while his hands still held your waist. “So, where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere with you.”
“Okay.” He nodded.
Yangyang pulled you in again for a quick hug, before standing up and pulling you to the passenger side of his car. There, he opened the door for you. “For you, my lady.”
“Thanks, kind sir,” you said as you climbed into the passenger seat of the car.
“You didn’t have to do that,” you told him as he climbed on the driver’s seat.
“I wanted to,” he shrugged, pulling down his mask and letting you see his gummy smile. ‘Before we go -.”
Yangyang held your chin, looking into your eyes for confirmation. You nodded. He smiled as he pulled you in for a kiss. No matter how many times the two of you have already done this, it always felt like the first time. Like the two of you were once again teenagers figuring things out for the first time. God, his kisses still felt like magic making you weak in the knees as his hands went to cup your face, and yours went to tangle itself into his hair.
You pulled away breathlessly, breathing deeply as you leaned back into your seat.
“Let’s do that again!” Yangyang grinned, leaning to your side.
You pushed him away with a laugh, your hand coming into contact with his lips, pushing him back to the driver's side of the car. “You’ll get to do that again when we reached our destination.”
“But it’s so far away,” he complained, pouting.
“Told you it could be anywhere,” you shrugged. “We could just drive by the nearby McDonald’s and go home to cuddle.”
“Sounds tempting,” Yangyang grinned at you while starting the car. “But no, I have a better place in mind.”
“Where?”
“I’ll tell you when we get there,” he smirked, glancing at you before he started driving. “Now, sleep.”
“Why?” You asked him. “Is it far?”
He nodded. “Kinda.”
You sat sideways, facing him as he drove, leaning your head on the headrest. “I won’t sleep. I’ll just stare at you as you drive.”
“Sounds creepy,” he scrunched his nose, before softly smiling at you. “But okay.”
“So, how’s your day?”
You smiled as Yangyang started talking about his day, telling you how Ten brought Leon and Louis to work, and how Dejun also brought Bella. He told you how easy it was to shoot with the pets; them staying still as cameras flashed around them. He told you how Bella got annoyed at the cameras and barked at the cameraman, making you giggle.
You told him about the things he missed out on during the months he was away. You told him how Jeno broke a restaurant’s spoon because he was eating quickly, earning a snort from Yangyang.
“I could have given him one for free, you know?” He comments as you told him the time Haechan fought someone on Twitter over a Ten photocard.
“That’s what I told him, but he answered me with a ‘where’s the fun in that?’” You told him, raising your voice a bit as you got excited over the story.
“And what happened after? Did he get the photocard?”
“He did,” you grumbled, crossing your arms as you leaned back. “The poor high schooler only wanted the photocard.”
“Don’t worry,” Yangyang held your hand as he stopped at a red light, bringing it up to his lips to kiss it. “That high schooler probably already got one from another seller.”
“Did you know I saw one of your signed polaroids go on sale for about the price of my tuition?” You remembered the time you were scrolling through Twitter and saw his fans fighting over the polaroid, much messier than Haechan and the high schooler fighting over the Ten photocard. The fight went on for three days that for two days, you and your friends spent lunchtime reading through the tweets.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, placing your hands on your lap as you closed your eyes. “The fight on Twitter took up my timeline for about a week.”
“Let me guess,” Yangyang started.
You hummed, letting him continue.
“Jaemin and Haechan went over to your room with popcorn to read you the tweets,” he guessed, to which you nodded.
“Yeah, for two nights, and we’d spend lunchtime with Renjun, Sungchan, and Chenle talking about it,” you added. You wondered how it would be like with Mark, Jeno, and Jisung there. Mark and Jeno would probably provide more snacks and drinks while Jisung would be on his phone, catching up on the fight. “Haechan would always tell me how I’m lucky that I could just ask for a polaroid with your signature and how you’d probably give it to me for free.”
“I wouldn’t give it to you for free,” he shook his head as he turned right on the road.
“Why not?” You opened your eyes to look at him.
“You’d have to pay me with a kiss,” he answered smugly.
“In your dreams,” you rolled your eyes. “I have many at home anyway. My mom would always take one on our birthdays, right? And there was this one time on your seventh birthday she took a picture of you right after I dunked your face on your cake.”
“I remember that!” He exclaimed. “You told me to make a wish, and right after I blew the candle you pushed my face into the cake.”
You laughed at the memory. “You cried so much right after because I ruined your Thomas and Friends cake. I had to buy you a popsicle just so you’d talk to me after.”
“Your mom was furious,” he laughed. “She made you buy that popsicle with your own money, and you went around the guests asking for change.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, yawning.
“You know, you should sleep,” he glanced at you again. “You’ve been up since 6 am. We still have a long drive.”
“I don’t want to,” you told him, yet you let your eyes flutter shut as Yangyang opened his Spotify and played his road trip playlist. The playlist was a combination of yours and his music taste. It had Cigarettes After Sex, NIKI, Ed Sheeran, even with a bit of Ariana Grande in it. You fell asleep as the verses of ‘Sunsetz’ lull you to sleep as Yangyang drove on the highway.
Yangyang looked at you as you sleep, the setting sun’s light directly on your face. Soft snores filled the silence as the music stopped for a second before the starting notes of lowkey by NIKI filled the car. He took your hand in his as he stopped by a red light, playing with your fingers and watching your face intently for any reaction, but all you did was squeeze his hand a bit, making him smile.
He felt so lucky to have you, and he can’t wait to show you where you’re going.
You woke as you felt the car make a full stop. You looked around, realizing you were in a car with Yangyang, and relaxed as you felt his hand squeeze yours on your lap.
“We’re here,” he told you, turning off the engine. He quickly climbed out of the car, going to your side to open the door.
“Thank you, kind sir,” you told him, slinging your backpack to your shoulders.
“Here, let me carry it,” Yangyang offered, grabbing the bag off your shoulder.
“I can do it,” you declined.
“I insist,” he said, pulling on the straps from behind you.
“No.”
“Yes,” he tugged on the straps.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
You sighed as he let out a triumphant ‘whoop!’, letting your backpack drop into his hands.
“Now, where are we, exactly?” You asked him as the two of you neared the entrance after walking in the parking lot for a few minutes.
“You’ll know when we get there,” is what he answered, pushing the door open with his free hand, the other one holding your hand.
“Good evening, Mr. Liu,” the security guard greeted him, and you wondered why Yagyang didn’t bother to put on his mask and why the guard knew him by name.
You certainly weren’t at a mall, but you also weren’t inside a familiar building. You’ve been in his workplace - this was nothing like it. While his workplace had bright lighting, this one had a much more inviting one with warm lighting. You were in basement parking, so you couldn’t see any indicators of where you are. You just had to trust your boyfriend in this one.
‘Here,” Yangyang pulled you into an elevator, pressing the numbers for the 16th floor (the highest one). You looked around the elevator, seeing the announcements on one side. You let go of his hand as you went to look a bit closer to the sign, seeing the name ‘Capitol Suites’ on the top.
“Why are we here?” You asked him, as you went back beside him on the elevator, leaning back on the mirror and leaning your head on his shoulder.
“Just want to show you something,” he answered you. You hummed. You were still sleepy from the ride, so you let your eyes close for a few moments on his shoulders before the elevator's doors opened to the 16th floor.
Yangyang excitedly grabbed your hand, a smile on his face as he led the way. His smile only faded a bit when he saw Ten in front of the door. “Why are you here?”
“Hi, Y/N,” Ten greeted you with a hug, nudging you out of your sleepy state as you hugged him back. “I haven’t seen you since forever!”
“Me too,” you answered him, making Ten hug you tighter before letting you go to a frowning Yangyang.
“Why are you here?” Yangyang asked again.
“Is that really how you greet a friend?” Ten rolled his eyes throwing a teasing slap on Yangyang’s arm. “Anywhoo, I’ll get going. You kids enjoy your time together and don’t forget to use protection, okay?”
You felt your face grow hot as Yangyang protested beside you. “We’re not kids.”
“Right,” Ten only laughed as he opened another door on the far end of the hallway. “Bye, babies!”
“We’re not babies!” Yangyang’s protests were only answered by the door closing.
“Are we going inside?” You asked him as silence filled the two of you after Ten closed the door.
“Right,” Yangyang blushed, fishing a set of keys from his pocket. He fiddled for the right key, before muttering out a quick ‘aha!’ when he found the right one. With a huge smile, he asked you, “Are you ready?”
“For what?” you asked him.
“This,” He grinned at you as he opened the door to an apartment.
The apartment was already filled with furniture; the kitchen was fully stocked, and the A/C was turned on, making the place chilly. You shivered as the cold air hit you, making Yangyang let out a chuckle when he saw you.
“So, is this yours?” You asked him when he plopped down on the sofa.
“Yep,” He answered you with a smile. “Do you like it?”
“Yeah,” you answered. “It’s cozy.”
And it is. There were bean bags around the place and the sofa was half-fille with throw pillows. There was even a humidifier, probably turned on by Ten, that made the place smell more at home.
Yangyang smiled at you before he stood up and led you to his bedroom, specifically his closet. “Here, pick out what you like to wear from my hoodies. And there, that cabinet on your right, it has some of your clothes that you left at the dorm before.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem,” he tipped his head at you.
You quickly picked out a black hoodie of his before opening the cabinet on your right. There, you saw it was empty except for some of your clothes, which you thought were missing. You changed as quickly as you can, not noticing the small velvet box on Yangyang’s bedside table.
After you finished changing, you met Yangyang back at his couch, plopping back down on it with a smile.
“Are you hungry?” He asked you.
“Kinda,” you answered him, checking your watch for the first time since you saw him back at your university. It was already past eight at night, making you realize that the last time you ate was lunch.
“Okay,” he nodded, standing up. “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“The rooftop,” he answered, grabbing your hand and leading you out the door.
“Okay,” you agreed, following him to the elevator.
The rooftop was a restaurant. You expected something small, like the ones you had back at your dorm. The rooftop of this building is big, the main highlight of it being the rooftop pool. Chairs and tables surround the pool, and a bar was in front, and beside it was a small stage for bands and performers. The rooftop also has an overlooking view of the city, although you knew you were far from the bustling city of the capital, which made it quiet around you. You could count the customers by hand and it made you feel at ease knowing there’s a low chance of Yangyang being recognized.
“Table for two?” A server asked the two of you.
Yangyang nodded, and the server led the two of you to a table tucked in the back of the rooftop, beside the railings.
“So what do you think?” He asked you after you finished ordering.
“Does Ten seriously live down the hall from you?” That was the first thought that came to your mind.
Yangyang laughed. “Yeah, they all do.”
“They?” Your eyes widened. “You mean Dejun and the guys, too?”
“Yeah,” Yangyang nodded as he laughed.
“You guys never tire of each other’s faces?” You asked him.
“They don’t get tired of mine,” Yangyang answered. “I was the first one who bought a unit here, and when they saw this. They bought the ones beside me behind my back. I didn’t even know about it until they moved in!”
“So everything was a surprise to you?”
“Yeah!”
“Let me guess, Dejun’s the one right beside you.”
“Nope.”
“Yuta?”
“Nope. His is the one across mine.”
“Doyoung?”
“Yeah,” He rolled his eyes. “Told me he had to be beside me to babysit me or something.”
“Aww, you baby,” you reached over to pinch his cheeks.
“I’m not a baby,” he pouted as you pinched his cheeks.
“You’re my baby,” you told him, sitting back down on your seat.
“I am,” he replied with a proud smile.
“Okay, let’s not do that.” You shook your head as you cringed.
The server arrived with your food and drinks, making you and Yangyang stop for a while to eat in silence, not even bothering to continue the conversation. The silence lasted for only a few moments, though, as a live acoustic started their set soon after.
“This feels nice,” you commented after the band finished your first song.
“What feels nice?”
“This.” You motioned around you. “The band, the music, the peace. It’s quiet here. I like it.”
“Think you could get used to this?” He asked you.
“What do you mean?”
“Move in with me after graduation?” He asked you, taking you by surprise. You felt the world stop for a second as the two of you got lost in each other’s eyes. You knew Yangyang was good at reading people, that’s why he was staring at you. Looking for any reaction. A thousand thoughts were running through your mind, barely giving you a straight answer. “Did I catch you by surprise? You can still think about it. I’m not in any rush, love. Take your time, okay?”
“Yes,” you told him firmly. This time, he was the one who was caught by surprise. “Yes. I’ll move in with you.”
“I love you,” Yangyang told you as he grinned before getting back to his food.
“Yeah, I love you too,” you answered him back with a laugh.
As soon as you finished your food, the familiar strum of Invisible String by Taylor Swift filled your ears while you were waiting for Yangyang to finish your food. Your mind ran through everything you and him have been through. Ever since childhood, you and Yangyang have been inseparable. And now, you’re here - in your 20s, and out on a rooftop date. Him, being in a famous group, and you finish up your college course. The two of you have nothing but ups to go to.
After all, you’ve been through - the sleepless nights you waited for him to call, all the dating rumors he had, and the distance - you were glad everything led you here.
“Hey, Yang,” you called him when you entered the elevator to go back to his unit. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” he replied. “Now, can I claim that kiss now?”
“Yeah, you can,” you answered, pulling him in for a deep kiss.
BONUS:
“Okay, so what do you want for our bedroom?” Yangyang asked you while the two of you were brushing your teeth.
You spat out the toothpaste in your mouth before replying. “I like it the way it is.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” you nodded as you wiped your face when you finished brushing your teeth. You walked back to your shared bedroom before laying down on the bed. “Why did you ask?”
Yangyang laid beside you, pulling you in for a cuddle. Your head was on his chest while his arms wrapped around you. “I just wanted to make sure our place is up to your liking.”
Butterflies erupted in your stomach with his words. Our place.
“It is,” you answered.
“Okay.” You could hear the smile in his voice as you felt him nod.
“You know, I had you on my mind when I saw this place,” he mumbled after a few moments, his fingers playing with the strands of your hair. “I knew I wanted to move in with you as soon as you finish up uni. And when I saw this place, all I hoped for was an available unit for us. I even had to consult both Jaehyun and Ten to make sure this place suited our taste.”
“You consulted my brother?” You sat up to face him.
“Yeah,” Yangyang nodded, pulling you down so he could continue what he was doing. “Sent him pics of furniture and stuff.”
“So that was why you had that lavender scent in your humidifier.”
“Yup.”
“And the empty cabinet on the right side of your closet.”
“Yep.” Yangyang answered. “And you know, you could invite Hyuck and the others too next weekend here for a hangout.”
“Oh, shit,” Realization dawned on you as you realized you haven’t opened your phone since the final exam started and have informed no one of your whereabouts. You quickly scrambled to get your phone out of your backpack. “Hyuck and Jaem didn’t know where I went.”
Yangyang pulled you back down. “They know. They called you a thousand times while you were sleeping - told them you’d spend the night with me.”
“Okay,” you relaxed in his arms. “Thanks. Love you.”
“Love you too,” he kissed the top of your head. “Now, let’s sleep.”
With the lights down low, all you wanted was for the moment to stop and let you stay there forever in his arms.
Even in the smallest ways, we want to support and cheer for our tandem that we believe and trust to change the governance in our country in the best ways. The elections are a week away and we remind our fellow Filipinos through our network to learn each candidates' background, platforms, and credibility and vote wisely and for the better of our country.
Para sa ating kapwa Pilipino at para sa ating minamahal na Pilipinas!
Bumoto para gobyernong tapat at handang maglingkod para sa bayan. Bumoto sa malinaw ang track records at hindi magnanakaw. Bumoto para sa kinabukasan ng lahat, at hindi para sa sarili. At lalong lalo na, vote for those who inspire others to do good<33
#10 Leni Robredo
#07 Kiko Pangilinan
*For more information about Leni Robredo, click here!
*For more information about Kiko Pangilinan, click here!
*Not sure which senators to vote? Click here!
*For information about the Martial Law, the Marcoses, and why #NeverAgain, click here, maybe it can enlighten you.
(Disclaimer: I am not the owner of the Google Drive folders—credits to the original owners! I only used those to educate myself, and hopefully, you will too.)
Hindi man ako botante, pero alam kong nararapat tayo duon sa progresibo at tapat na gobyerno—hindi lang para sa kinabukasan, ngunit para rin sa ikinakaharap ng lahat. Duon tayo sa may mga nagawa na at may magagawa pa!
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pairing. lee jeno x reader
genre. established relationship. fluff.
word count. 1800+
warnings. light angst, slight makeout session, grammatical errors ahead! (lmk if you see anything else!)
playlist. taylor swift: seven, hey stephen (taylor’s version), stay stay stay (taylor’s version). the 1975: fallingforyou
author’s note. happy belated birthday lee jeno!
“Do you still dream of going away once you graduate?” Jeno asked you, melancholy laced in his voice.
His question was sudden, not something you thought that was on his mind the night of his birthday. But then again, Jeno always manages to surprise you. Such as this, a clear night under the stars in their treehouse. Almost a year of dating him, yet you only found out about the treehouse today.
“I don’t know,” you answered honestly, tightening your hold on his hand. Truth be told, ever since you fell in love with him, you never thought of going away by yourself, unless it’s with him - exploring new cities, falling in love with the countryside - all of it was with him. It dawned on you then, that this man laying beside you, whose thumb was grazing the back of your palm, is your home. He is someone you pictured coming home to after a tiring day. Someone, you pictured dancing with you in the kitchen with only the refrigerator lights on. And if soulmates were real, you knew Lee Jeno would be yours. “But I know I want to be with you.”
God, you almost cringed at yourself by saying a cheesy line. But it was what you felt.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you assured him. “It’s your birthday, Jen. You shouldn’t think about those things. I promise you I’m not going away, not when I consider this place as my home. And if I do, I’d still come back to this place. Remember how we always joked about buying that house on the hilltop and owning more than ten dogs? I’d like that with you someday.”
“Well, maybe not ten dogs,” Jeno shook his head. “We can barely even cook properly ourselves, how will we take care of ten dogs?”
“They’ll have to eat the failed dishes, of course,” you answered, a teasing smile on your lips.
“And risk them getting food poison? I’d rather be the one to eat those.” Jeno let go of your hand, standing up.
You pulled on his arm. “Where are you going?”
“Just putting on some music, baby.” He placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Be right back.”
You sat up when he fully left your vision, going somewhere behind you. The treehouse was not like the ones you imagined before, as something fit only for a child. This treehouse was spacious and littered with various memories from Jeno’s life. You could spend days here, asking him the story behind every little thing in the treehouse. There was a firetruck with broken tires, a story he told you earlier in which Haechan was the one to break it back in kindergarten. That was the start of their friendship, he told you. He was so mad at Haechan back then that he also broke Haechan’s remote-controlled toy car, which turned out to be Jaemin’s. It was a whole mess back then that led to the three of them becoming best friends.
You looked around, noticing stickers of planes on the wall. The lighting of the treehouse was well enough that you see airplanes faintly drawn on its walls. It brought a small smile to your face, knowing how Jeno was on his way toward achieving his dream of becoming a pilot.
Speaking of, you remembered your gift still in your bag. Crawling over to where it is placed, you rummaged its inside until you’ve found the blue velvet box containing your gift for him. It wasn’t much really, but the lengths you took to acquire it was something you’d treasure.
“Hey,” Jeno walked over to you, speakers in one hand and the other holding his phone, handing it to you. “Play something.”
“Why/”
“Nothing,” he shrugged, sitting down next to you. “I just like the songs you listen to.”
“Even KPOP?”
“Yes, even that,” he said, brushing back strands of your hair that fell on the side of your face.
You scrolled through his Spotify playlists, looking for one specific playlist. It was a playlist he made while he was still courting you with music you recommended, as well as songs from his playlists he thought you’d like. In a way, it was your comfort playlist and nothing feels comfier than this, the treehouse with a glass roof so you could see the stars, surrounded by things Jeno grew up with, and of course, the birthday boy himself.
You found the playlist, chuckling as ‘Hey, Stephen’ by Taylor Swift played on shuffle. “You know, I always thought of you whenever I listened to this song.”
“Why so?” He curiously looked at you, tilting his head a little to the side.
“Because I can’t help it if you looked like an angel, can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so,” You sang, making him laugh. “Come feel this magic, I’ve been feeling since I met you, can’t help it if there’s no one else. Mm, can’t help myself.”
“I get it now,” he wrapped his arms around you when he calmed down, pulling you closer to his chest.
“Do you?”
“Maybe.” You scrunched your nose at that, but you can feel him smiling.
You placed your head on Jeno’s shoulders and looked up through the glass roof, and to the stars, noticing how clear the skies are. “You know, I never learned the names of the stars. Renjun was skilled in astrology, I wasn’t. I never bothered to learn them, only tracing them with my finger and coming up with names for them.”
Before answering, Jeno changed your positions, moving backward before pulling you into his chest, his legs on either side of you as his hands circled your waist. “Can you introduce them to me?”
“I don’t really remember the names, though,” you frowned, thinking deeply.
“Oh!” You perked up, grabbing one of Jeno’s hands and tracing stars with him. “There. The one you just drew, what is that?”
“A house?”
“It is, so I named it Mariposa, after the street of my childhood home.” You pulled his hand again to trace another star. “Okay, that’s another one. What do you think that is?”
Jeno puffed his cheeks, making you laugh. “Any clues?”
“No,” you answered with a playful grin.
“Okay, uh,” he scratched the back of his neck. “Is it a clock?”
You shook your head.
“A fan?” No.
“The moon?” No.
“Eyes?” No.
Jeno guessed a few more, but it was far from the correct answer. “Giving up?”
“Never,” he answered.
With a hum, you settled comfortably in his chest, grabbing his hand and playing with his fingers. You liked that he wore rings, often making you feel an additional wave of butterflies whenever you feel the cold metal in your hands when you hold his. You toyed with his rings for a few minutes, twisting them, changing their placement from one finger to another, until you feel Jeno sigh, placing his chin on your shoulder. “I give up.”
“It’s you, silly.” You turned around to face him, cupping his face, and placing a small peck on his lips. You laughed and watched as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “That’s a dog and I remember naming it Nono, maybe I truly was meant to find you.”
“I love you,” was his only reply, capturing your lips in his. It wasn’t light, nor was it heavy, but it was intimate, feeling as his lips molded into yours, taking his time as if it was the first time he had kissed you like this. You blamed the heat of the moment when your eyes fluttered shut, melting into the kiss as he tightened his hold around your waist.
When you pulled away, you immediately remembered your gift and handed it to him, sitting criss-cross in front of him on the wooden floorboard. “Happy birthday, baby.”
You watched as he carefully opened the box, smiling softly when he saw your gift. It was a silver bracelet with a moon locket, which opens with the message, ‘I love you to the moon and to Saturn’. It matched with your necklace, which has Saturn as its charm and the reply inscribed inside. “Have I told you I love you to the moon and to Saturn?” he said with a smile.
“Passed down like folk songs,” you replied not missing the reference. He pulled you into a hug, placing another kiss on your forehead before handing you the bracelet. “Help me?”
Clasping the bracelet on his left wrist, you saw how his eyes stayed on the charm, showing galaxies in them you could never see in the night sky because only his eyes hold them.
Instead of focusing on one thing like Jeno was doing, you became aware of your surroundings. You noticed how loud the crickets were like somehow you were in the middle of a forest. And you also heard the music slowed to a stop, changing to the next song - a much slower song this time. It was one of Jeno’s music, a The 1975 one.
When you recognized the song, you immediately stood up, taking Jeno’s attention away from the charm on his bracelet when the floorboard creaked as you stood up. His eyebrows furrowed when you offered your hand to him, but still, he held your hand lightly, swaying it to the beat of the song.
“Come on, dance with me,” you said, watching as recognition crossed his face over your outstretched hand.
“Shouldn’t I be the one to say that?” He said as you pulled him up.
“Gender roles are overrated,” you answered, rolling your eyes, as you brushed his shoulders when he stood up.
“Touche.” He wrapped his arms once again around your waist, this time to dance with you.
There are days when your height difference with Jeno annoys you, this is not one of those days. You were grateful that your parents blessed you with height enough to wrap your arms around his neck as you swayed towards the beat of the song. Honestly, you weren’t really sure if you and Jeno are still swaying to the beat of the song, but you didn’t care. All you did care about was this - Jeno dancing with you when he won’t even let you dance with him during prom night years ago. This was the first time the two of you have slow danced, and you were sure to savor this moment with him.
“Are you having fun?” You asked him, your hands playing with the strands of his hair on the back of his neck.
“Yeah, very much,” he replied. You honestly don’t know how he does it but he smiled with his eyes, and you found yourself smiling back.
“You know, someday, we’d be doing this at our own apartment,” you said.
Jeno hummed. “What?”
“This,” you replied. “Dancing in our own living room or around the kitchen with the refrigerator lights.”
Jeno smiled at that. “You and your Taylor Swift references.”
“You know you love that.”
“I do.” He kissed your forehead. “Very much. And I can’t wait to experience that and Stay Stay Stay with you.”
hi! i made this acc as a dump for all my nct drabbles, fics, or smaus. i probably won’t post much and will only do it when i can & when inspiration strikes.
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