Moldy Channeling Pit

Wanderer of Woods, Muncher of Mushrooms, Unwitting Neighbor to All, Failing Grasp on Reality. Someone has to gather the spell components. Mold/Bi/Eternal(literally brand fucking new I have no idea what I'm doing)

[verylegalwizard-deactivated2024]

i am infinitely more powerful than you other wizards this isn’t my side blog this is my Main Blog. wizard posting is the only posting i do. oh you “had to do it to em”? you “lost”? well i am winning bitch i’ll curse you

[wizardgosleep]

Augh I’ve been cursed

[the-gnomish-bastard]

This too is my main blog, and I have no side blogs. My power is unmatched!

[mayhem-moth-deactivated20250415]

MY POWER IS THAT I HAVE TWO BLOGS VAGUELY CONNECTED BY SIMILAR NAME AND PROFILE PICTURE

[the-gnomish-bastard]

So do the snoms

[the-moth-wizard-of-mayhem]

Yeah and they are pretty chill so ill take that as a win

[moldyteawizard]

I literally joined within the last month with the sole purpose of wizardposting, what are these "side blogs" you speak of?

[the-kobold-bastard]

I have realized honkology is a bad name please help me

joke-omancy

[moldyteawizard]

Clownjuration? Clownomancy? Comedination? Merrymancy? Bafoonomancy? Carnivallusion? Enclowment? KlaunMajeek?

Thoughts? @carnivalwizard

[veggiedaddy]

not to be controversial but respect trans women or die by my sword

[bettieleetwo]

and my bow

[and-then-theres-that]

And my axe

[ambratwhurst]

[catreplicators]

and my nuke

[viscerawizard]

and my teeth

[terri-theslime13]

and my guns

[peanutbutter-and-jellie]

And my pipe bombs

[the-gnomish-bastard]

And my trebuchet

[odd-animated-armor]

And my anchor

[moldyteawizard]

And my beard

[moldyteawizard]

[hewwwwkayyyy-deactivated2022090]

You suddenly switch bodies with your icon. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the highest value) how well are you coping with that change?

[detectivewizzard]

I’m fine

[peanutbutter-and-jellie]

Fuck yea

[moldyteawizard]

My mind is gone

Nothing of significance has changed

[moldyteawizard]

Off to the Tunnelwoods, seeking Gilded Bark Moss for a consumption ritual I'll let you know what I find, lmk if you need any spell materials

[wizardvalshadar]

If you can find any Heart of Bramble, I'm running low.

[moldyteawizard]

Wasn’t able to find any hearts, but I did find what I think might be a Spleen of Bramble.

Hope this helps, don’t worry too much about the hole, I think it’s supposed to be there?

[civilizationkills]

maybe its bc i live in a place where forestry is one of the dominant industries but like tree planting rly isnt good. like the majority of the time its done by forestry companies to “offset” what they’ve cut down, and they almost always just plant fir & spruce monocrops and then they prevent the rest of the forest from naturally regenerating by spraying glyphosate, because they want to kill off the hardwoods that grow back since softwoods are worth more to the pulp industry… anything a company does that is supposedly “green” never is.

[daggers-drawn]

They aren’t actually replanting the forest, they’re building lumber farms in the middle of it and trying to pass them off as the same thing to people who think a forest is just trees because they live in a world mediated by images and have never been in an actual forest long enough to be able to tell healthy diverse growth from a struggling monocrop.

[bogleech]

And unfortunately even choosing all the right trees and plants would not actually help either. Some naturalists I recall coined the term “ghost forest” to refer originally to “replanted” rainforests, in the same sense as “ghost town,” because it never brings back the same rich diversity of life or the healthy microbiome that took centuries to form.

And the average person doesn’t think about that at all, they don’t care that the layers of rotten leaves and insect colonies and mycelia are as much “the forest” as the presence of trees, and in fact the whole existence of that understory *is the actual benefit of the trees,* the actual reason the trees are important to all that wildlife. Companies are glad people don’t care about this, and as long as “replanting” is seen as a valid compromise, it means environmental regulations will continue to be lax and let them kill the majority of life in those habitats.

It’s the ecological equivalent of Weekend at Bernies. They made a corpse look alive enough that they aren’t being held accountable.

[wizard-intern]

The fungus thinks you’ve all had enough coffee. Here. Try this spore syringe instead.

[moldyteawizard]

Dear friend, you seem to have been colonized by a particularly aggressive strain of brain fungi.

Would you be opposed to being steeped in boiling water? 

[wizard-intern]

Here. Have this spore syringe.

[moldyteawizard]

Well, I seeing as I am already primarily comprised of mold and rot, a little ecological diversity could be nice

I shall get my Arcane Elastic Band and give it a try

. . . Nothing so far. . .

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAUAHWIUYGFKSHFUOIASHFOSUOIDLKJSKAJOFKEIUHULAUSLUDHAUSJKDOHUA

[panem-crustus]

Greetings breadcaster

I bestow upon you a small picking of Maruthain's Antlershroom, which if consumed sprouts antlers from random parts of the body

I have heard, however, that if mishandled it becomes a powerful, albeit unconventional, aphrodisiac. antler growing properties maintained

I have no idea what it does in bread, have fun!

Ah, wonderful! I've baked the fungus into a most delightful Brioche. I'm asexual, so I can't say much about how the aphrodisiac properties work, but it tastes kinda like blue cheese. I have sent a batch of the stuff to you for testing and as payment for the ingredients. Please let me know if any interesting findings.

[moldyteawizard]

I’m aprehensive to try it myself

Perhaps @slutty-wizard-council would be more fit to conduct a research trial

[wizard-intern]

The fungus thinks you’ve all had enough coffee. Here. Try this spore syringe instead.

[moldyteawizard]

Dear friend, you seem to have been colonized by a particularly aggressive strain of brain fungi.

Would you be opposed to being steeped in boiling water? 

[panem-crustus]

Greetings breadcaster

I bestow upon you a small picking of Maruthain's Antlershroom, which if consumed sprouts antlers from random parts of the body

I have heard, however, that if mishandled it becomes a powerful, albeit unconventional, aphrodisiac. antler growing properties maintained

I have no idea what it does in bread, have fun!

Ah, wonderful! I've baked the fungus into a most delightful Brioche. I'm asexual, so I can't say much about how the aphrodisiac properties work, but it tastes kinda like blue cheese. I have sent a batch of the stuff to you for testing and as payment for the ingredients. Please let me know if any interesting findings.

[moldyteawizard]

Oh lovely! Thank you so much for your quick work!

@yourlocalbreadenthusiast​ I have some bread you might like to try, apparently it naturally tastes cheesy!

[the-curse-wizard]

*meanders out of a nearby shrubbery*

hello dear wizard, I come bearing a gift I found on my woodland stroll

It is Hog's Puss, a wonderful fungus that smells of four month old unwashed yogurt cups and tastes like lemons and fingernail grout

It made me think of you because it is a quintessential ingredient in the ever-infamous curse of adult acne, the cure for which is till unknown!

Enjoy!

You half-witted fungal brain mouth breathing excuse for a wizard! The curse of adult acne is a TRIVIAL fix!

It's as simple as going chest deep into the river Lethe on the night of the new moon, holding wolfsbane in one hand and a small silver mirror on the other.

Say the incantation "Face as pure as a mountain spring" before dipping your head. Do this nine times. When this is done, use the wolfsbane to caress your face, then the mirror to see it.

[sewi-li-suwi]

i thought adult acne was a simple transmutation spell? adds visual interest to the face? nothing curselike about it.

[the-curse-wizard]

You Kneeed! You complete Kneeed!

Anything can be a curse at the wrong amount

[the-curse-wizard]

Too much restoration gives you cancer. I've tried

[moldyteawizard]

I do believe that, with the right alterations to the ritual, acne is not the only type of pustule that may be manifested.

Though if the cure truly is so simple, then perhaps I should stick to squeezing it into my tea

[moldyteawizard]

Spotted this odd fellow on my journey to find Gilded Bark Moss. Ought I to ask what they know?

I shall ponder my orb, sages lend me your wisdom and premonitions

How shall I proceed?

Ignore it, what could they possibly know of moss

Approach with open arms

Watch from a distance (could be Karfincle)

Strike First: Cast Eyes to Spiders

Voting ended onSep 2, 2023

[carnivalwizard]

hm. i believe i have been cursed but i know not what i've been cursed with

[monsterfucker-research-wizard]

Have you tried 'Detect Curse'

[carnivalwizard]

oh you're very smart! yes i think I'll do that now, how hard can it be?

[monsterfucker-research-wizard]

Hmm I feel like something may go wrong

[carnivalwizard]

MOTHERFUCKER I'VE BEEN HIT BY A HAIKU CURSE I'M GONNA GO WILD

[monsterfucker-research-wizard]

Ooh I'll have to document this, keep still a moment.

[carnivalwizard]

I can't fucking stand curses that alter speech I'm THINKING in haikus

[moldyteawizard]

Have you tried breaking it by using a word with 6 syllables? 

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[miaislying]

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

decay exists as an extant form of life

[miaislying]

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

[tothechaos]

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

[totheorder]

:)

[tothechaos]

[tothechaos]

Do Not Do This To Me

[catboybeebop]

[slicedcheesegremlin]

[tothechaos]

if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber

Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.

[felixcloud6288]

We only have till the end of the month to accomplish this.

And please encourage OP to print this on a cake for their personal health and safety

[yourlocalbreadenthusiast]

You know what to do people.

[notalvl20wizard]

yo @wizard-council @slutty-wizard-council

Alert every wizard you know...

Let's ruin this man.

[slutty-wizard-council]

Sure thing!

@alvareus-the-sorcerer-of-seals

@blacktipreefsharkwizard

@daunt-the-wizard-bitch

@wizard-intern

@the-familiars-union

@wizardvalshadar

@the-breadwizard

@the-cursed-thing

@verylegalwizard

@weeklywizardcouncil

@the-necrobotanist

@wizard-island-trading-co

@squid-wizard

@the-gnomish-bastard

@simone-da-witch

@the-wizard-of-revolution

@greyhound-with-a-mega-wizard-hat

@wizard-lawyer

@wizard-tips

@real-mud-wizard

@wizard-spells

@wizardly-shrubbery

@the-council-wizard

@the-useless-wizard-council

@the-wozard-council

@saltedwizard

@eschaton-the-imminent

@carnivalwizard

@wizard-council-bureaucrat

@sexygaywizard

@the-wetland-wizard-council

@the-curse-wizard

@the-real-evil-wizard

@amuletwizard

@wizard-at-large

@thearomancer

@greatestwizardever

@canned-wizard

@thelocalwizardsblog

@mageacademydropout

@wizard-archivist-official

@merchant-of-the-nine-circles

@the-worse-wizard-council

@mystery-mage

@the-better-wizard-council

@wizard-gobling

@wizard-of-interesting-failure

@evil-lizard-wizard

@apollo-the-eternal

@the-illegal-wizard-council

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO

[moldyteawizard]

Found this gooniferous, magicless freak out in the woods.

He won't stop following me.

May some sage claim their lost henchman before I transmute his eyes into fungus.