the slutty wizard council (reborn)

carrying the torch (with both hands) for the now defunct slutty wizard council. view this as a council 2.0, or a favour to a friend

[girlydemise]

was the hunter gathering society an anarchist communist paradise

yes

no

this is a wild aftercare poll

nuance cause julia be here

Voting ended onJul 1

[m4gethecat]

see julia? this is how you nuance

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

No.

[egberts]

hey guys is there a nice wizard on tumblr or is it only the evil one

[evilwizard]

it’s just me

[princess-rosiebird]

well theres also @slutty-wizard-council

[slutty-wizard-council]

yeah but we're barely posting tbh

[slutty-wizard-council]

What are your thoughts on Gnomes?

Well we apparently are collectively the nemesis to one of them. Due to having tea parties with his mum.

[tadoriaselan]

Any gnomes beefing with the entire slutty wizard council for sleeping with their mom?

[slutty-wizard-council]

Not sleeping, just having honest-to-goodness tea parties. The gnomish bastard's mum always has the best anecdotes to share over honeyed tea and buttered scones

[slutty-wizard-council]

What are your thoughts on Gnomes?

Well we apparently are collectively the nemesis to one of them. Due to having tea parties with his mum.

[enkephalinpilled]

in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”

[teaboot]

unfortunately, classifying all points as definitively false also presents your audience with data. you gotta present a mix of unverifiable information in a broad range of veracity. I don't have blood. I DO have teeth. How many teeth? 53. I subsist primarily on synthesized potassium compounds and sleep in my closet three nights a year

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

WIZARD PSA: Magical lie detection has rendered the above approach outdated. Fully ambiguous statements are now required, such as: I possess a significantly higher/lower quantity of blood than average. I do not need to eat. I consume only detrimental liquids. The Breath of Life has never entered my body. I am well.

[slutty-wizard-council]

Has something else entered your body? :)

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

The answer to this depends on the precise definition of every word in the sentence:

Has (global timeline) or has (personal timeline)?

Something (physical objects only) or something (abstract concepts included)?

Else (not a component of my body) or else (a component of my body other than the point of entry)?

Entered (passed through an entry point) or entered (appeared ex nihilo)?

Your (wholly owned) or your (shared/stolen/disputed?)

Body (non-ambulatory consciousness container) or body (remotely controlled avatar)?

Actually I lied, the answer is "yes" in every possible permutation anyway.

[slutty-wizard-council]

You just made our resident pedantry fetishist very happy btw

[enkephalinpilled]

in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”

[teaboot]

unfortunately, classifying all points as definitively false also presents your audience with data. you gotta present a mix of unverifiable information in a broad range of veracity. I don't have blood. I DO have teeth. How many teeth? 53. I subsist primarily on synthesized potassium compounds and sleep in my closet three nights a year

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

WIZARD PSA: Magical lie detection has rendered the above approach outdated. Fully ambiguous statements are now required, such as: I possess a significantly higher/lower quantity of blood than average. I do not need to eat. I consume only detrimental liquids. The Breath of Life has never entered my body. I am well.

[slutty-wizard-council]

Has something else entered your body? :)

[mold-wizard]

Yeah, I don't know what those "No Illegal Spellcasting" signs that have been popping up everywhere are supposed to accomplish. Illegal spellcasting is already, you know, illegal. I don't think someone who isn't deterred by violations of wizard law is going to care about a sign.

[slutty-wizard-council]

Unless they've got a curse of sign-abiding. We don't know if it exists but it could make for very fun parties

[slutty-wizard-council]

Breaking into your potions storage unit to drink everything :3

We uh. We practice safe potions. Every potion is stored right next to its antidote. It averaged out to you drinking a lot of water. Well, water that tastes like bodily fluids because that's just a flavour we added to everything. Must have been fun though!

[john-boneman-lich-lord]

There is the infamous Ketamine Ape, the revered Cocain Bear and it's prey, the Cocaine Salmon. We also have the Meth Gators courtesy of the Floridian Wizards. But we need something fresh. Something new.

I propose we make the PCP Hippo.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

why are you doing this to me

[slutty-wizard-council]

So... we suppose we shouldn't tell you about the Fentipede?

[yeast-wizard]

The Fentipede is the tip of the iceberg. When you really delve into it, shit gets wacky. You try fighting a Flakka Manatee. It's like a fucking missile.

[slutty-wizard-council]

One more word and we release the Crystal Moth

[john-boneman-lich-lord]

There is the infamous Ketamine Ape, the revered Cocain Bear and it's prey, the Cocaine Salmon. We also have the Meth Gators courtesy of the Floridian Wizards. But we need something fresh. Something new.

I propose we make the PCP Hippo.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

why are you doing this to me

[slutty-wizard-council]

So... we suppose we shouldn't tell you about the Fentipede?

[slutty-wizard-council]

I'm not nearly slutty enough to be involved, I keep my horny thoughts to me and him, but you're my favorite council by far.

-- F

okay :)

[slutty-wizard-council]

How do I sign up to be a student at the slutty wizard council? :3

Well you gotta consent (and therefore be able to) and then just uh. fuck your way in if you want to, that's the option most choose, but we do have normal doors also

[slutty-wizard-council]

Your url has caused a debate in my friendship group.

Some think its disrespectful to call wizards sluts, since they should be known for their intelligence and skills, rather than how much sex they have

Others think there must be a difference between slutty wizards and non slitty wizards so why shouldn't the council clarify the difference?

Please, we need the slutty wizard council to inform us

This is a council specifically for wizards that are slutty and consider that to be a positive thing to be. Note that we do say "slutty," not "sluts." It's about a way of being, not a thing to be (let alone be called by sex-negative people or, let's face it, massive misogynists).

[princess-rosiebird-nsfw]

does princess have a potion or spell or other magical means to give me grippy talon feet that i can stomp with. i have so much envy.

would princess be willing to forcebird me 👉👈

I'll huave 2 ask th court wizard. ,. .

@slutty-wizard-council bird this anon

[slutty-wizard-council]

BIRBIFY

[evilwizard]

I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU

[cowboybarbaryn]

Thank you Evil Wizard, it’s good to know someone has our backs

[evilwizard]

IN A SCARY WAY

[queenofskys5]

Thank you Evil Wizard, finally someone to scare away the creeps!

[evilwizard]

I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION

[slutty-wizard-council]

Working on maintaining good communication is always important, thank you Evil Wizard for keeping this fresh in everyone's mind!

[lake-lady]

Slutty wizard. Whorelock, if you will

[princess-rosiebird]

@slutty-wizard-council

[slutty-wizard-council]

oh hey we have those!

[war-crime-wizard]

Whorelock? Yeah that's the spell I use to keep my sister out of my room

[slutty-wizard-council]

We get the feeling that you are using "whore" pejoratively and that's the type of shit that gets you moved onto the naughty list. Not the fun naughty list, just the regular one.

[war-crime-wizard]

I'm a War Crime Wizard, was I ever meant to be on the fun naughty list? I usually aim for the latter anyways.

[slutty-wizard-council]

You can commit war crimes without being a misogynist

[lake-lady]

Slutty wizard. Whorelock, if you will

[princess-rosiebird]

@slutty-wizard-council

[slutty-wizard-council]

oh hey we have those!

[war-crime-wizard]

Whorelock? Yeah that's the spell I use to keep my sister out of my room

[slutty-wizard-council]

We get the feeling that you are using "whore" pejoratively and that's the type of shit that gets you moved onto the naughty list. Not the fun naughty list, just the regular one.