The Monkey Madness Within

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[startedraining]

[penismage]

“Y— you’ve saved me! Why?”

“..... Monkey.”

“Why—?”

“Monkey! You have shown me monkey..... Mmm.... Monkey.”

[sharkfintrigued]

[transfemmbeatrice]

average dnd party

[raptorcivilization]

Reminder to all nonbinary people: You can summon SUE the T. rex for aid

[tomatoluvr69]

Get enough sleep get enough fiber get enough iron wear sunscreen every moment of every day dont get dehydrated don’t slouch brush perfectly floss too keep your tires full of air get your oil changed check your brakes and alignment get new tires get your yearly inspection get your yearly pelvic exam remember your flu and covid shot research the candidates for district attorney take your recycling to the curb on the right day try to limit red meat, alcohol, ultra processed food, sugar and sitting down don’t use screens before bed exercise constantly you’re not socializing or being touched enough meditate daily make sure your clothes are constantly acceptable wash your hair before there’s even a hint of grease don’t have any unsightly hair anywhere don’t drink foo much coffee or sugary drinks or carbonated drinks or anything with citric acid or your teeth will rot change your sheets every few days and your pillowcases daily and you should be also throwing out your pillows every year or two apparently don’t use any kind of cutting board due to the unique drawbacks of each available kind walk 15 min after every meal don’t eat right after brushing but also don’t brush thirty minutes after eating yet somehow brush your teeth every morning and be on time for work also and make sure you’re weight training and make sure you’re doing everything you can to prevent eventual osteoporosis and arthritis moisturize your skin every day keep your prescriptions filled try to avoid being stressed at all costs because it’s the silent killer prioritize your mental health but don’t let any of these habits slip and don’t lose your important documents and keep the batteries in your carbon monoxide detector fresh and deep clean your fridge often and clean your entire house often and exchange pleasantries with every acquaintance and keep yourself polished and presentable at work and stretch before bed every night and buy new kitchen sponges when they wear out and make sure you have laundry detergent and dish soap and olive oil and only eat healthy fats and make sure you’re doing everything to prevent the skyrocketing rates of colon cancer in young people and soak all your berries so that they actually get clean and wash all your produce and buy organic so you aren’t ingesting four million pesticides and avoid animal products but also eat a lot of lean meat and dairy for the protein and eat 30g of protein at every meal and prioritize whole grains and complex carbohydrates and moderate your sugar intake and replace your toothbrush every six months and your running shows every 90 miles clean your car out often and make sure no one smashes your tail light in the parking lot and keep a printout of your up to date proof of insurance in your glovebox even if you don’t own a printer and put a sizeable portion of each paycheck into retirement portfolio replace your windshield wipers and close your kitchen down every night and eat two servings of dark leafy greens per day and do all of this and still get enough rest so that you’re able to give the 40 hour workweek your all. And if you fail to do any of these things you’re a disgusting failure slob

[longseasons]

let's all get into happy healthy long-lasting relationships with people that we are comfortable to be ourselves with

[feastofsnakes]

they added another luftballon while you were sleeping

[monkey-flute]

#because of. inflation (via spiderziege)

[amnhnyc]

Behold the striking colors of the red-bellied mud snake (Farancia abacura)! Growing up to 6.8 ft (2.1 m) long, this reptile can be found in swampy areas of the southeastern United States. Though it uses its bright colors as a warning to foes, this critter is non-venomous and would sooner flee than fight! When threatened, it might roll over to flash its vibrant underbelly, intimidating would-be predators by mimicking the look of venomous coral snakes. It can also excrete a foul-smelling musk from glands in the base of its tail.

Photo: Peter Paplanus, CC BY 2.0, flickr 

[theodysseyofhomer]

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[strinak]

oh, you meant they literally did, ok

[theodysseyofhomer]

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

[polyphemusthecylcops]

...

[theodysseyofhomer]

this is the only funny addition to this post

[mxjackparker]

Making motivational "it's never too late to transition" posts is really undercut if the age you're highlighting is still young. Claiming that your transition was late and it worked out great for you actually makes older people more afraid to transition if you're saying that shit in your 20s. How do you think a trans person in their 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s feels when you're 23 and calling yourself a late transitioner?

It's never too late until you're in a coffin. It is worth it for a single day of being yourself, even if you're 110.

[pansyfemme]

sometimes i struggle to use the word ‘bootlicker’ in a negative sense because of sexual desires i will not disclose here

[bagofcoldnoodles]

Is it licking boots?

[pansyfemme]

because of sexual desires i will not disclose here.

[gunsandfireandshit]

[gorusiti7]

Kawkaw wants to play!

[millionsknives]

like i was watching fmab episode 4 as a fifteen-year-old child and thinking it was one of the most horrific things i had ever seen. and i wasn't wrong, but coming back to it as an adult, it just feels so different. what horrified me as a kid was the physical reality. the merging of a one’s child into a chimera. what horrifies me now is.. the body horror, sure, but also everything else around that circumstance. how, in this world, a monstrous breach of ethics like that feels inevitable. like, of course this would happen. i used to think it was so extreme to put something that heavy in the first 5 chapters of your story. it's so jarring and it doesn't give the reader any time to build up to it.

but i don't really think of it like that anymore, especially looking at it in the context of liore, youswell, and the train chapter that come right before it. each of those small arcs investigates a particular avenue in which humans use human institutions to harm other humans. religion and authority in liore, class and money in youswell, power and violence and the military in the train arc. and all throughout those arcs is the ever-present threat of the governing military woven throughout daily life and ed's hatred of the military and the state and these and casual mentions of a much-despised past war setting off crazy alarm bells in our heads a mere 6 chapters in, knowing something is rotten in the state of amestris

so it only makes sense that the next thing we investigate is a triple-threat of alchemy, family, and the state. alchemy uses outside of our beloved protagonists' strong humanitarian ethics. the way that familial abuse lies in sinister wait where you least expect it. and in this case, unethical science and familial abuse go hand-in-hand, rewarded by livelihood money from the state.

i used to think, ok, this a cautionary tale about the horrors of alchemy pushed too far. and, like, sure. but i think more than that it's about how the state-fueled drive for results at no matter the cost directly rewards unethical research and treating human life as a cheap commodity. tucker had done it once and gotten away with it. not only did he get away with it, he was rewarded for it, so he knew he could do it again. because the state has a cancer growth mindset and the alchemist program wants results no matter what. and the guys at the top (i believe the fuhrer directly oversees all state alchemist exams) clearly don't care about human life ("the state has no interest in ethics"), only progress in that line-go-up cancer growth kind of way that directly incentivizes unethical behavior.

and i think it was absolutely necessary to frontload the story with something this heavy. saying, look. we're not gonna pull any punches here. any horrific application you can imagine for alchemy, it has happened. any crimes against humanity this amestrian military dictatorship could commit, they would and they did and they praise the men who did them

[deadgenerations]

nothing makes Nolan seem more like a hack than watching inception and paprika back to back.

[rpfofficial]

society has genuinely moved past the need for christopher nolan

[ortut]

Julian Hooper 1. Introduction, 2016 2. Inevitable conclusion, 2016 (Acrylic on linen)

[certified-door-posts]

certified door post

[notbecauseofvictories]

A customer contacted our team with questions, and then finished their email with: "I am daunted by the complexities and unknowns." I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

[cameoappearance]

Reblog if you are daunted by the complexities and unknowns