Sköll lyall

23, Pisces, pansexual, nonbinary

[lolitanora]

[santijpg-gone-deactivated202303]

what would you do if you saw jeff bezos in real life?

like to murder him in cold blood

reblog to murder him in cold blood

[neomedievalistbr]

BASED

[roundtable-knight-dyke]

Every reblog was to simulate bashing his capitalist skull in with a mace one swing at a time

[blackarachnya]

[monsieurenjlolras]

david tennant could do sherlock holmes but benendict cumberbatch couldn't do the doctor. also benedict cumberbatch couldn't do sherlock holmes

[monsieurenjlolras]

this is hard proof that tumblr has gotten better because if I had made this post in 2015 I would have gotten several death threats by now

[theweirdwideweb]

[orchidvioletindigo]

[sycamoretree]

trinity 

[yawning-caverns]

An Actual Real Person my Dad knew. Pretty sure he worked as a bush guide. When someone asked the time he’d pull off his hat - some kind of broad brim - and use to take a few measurements of the sun’s position relative to the horizon. Then he’d declare the time.

He was accurate to the minute.

[elodieunderglass]

Fvvdvddsfdssdhnvfh you get back here and say this to the rest of the crew

[punkmecrosseyed]

You’re not punk unless you EAT a pair of DOC MARTENS 

[astraldemise]

i genuinely did not remember how fucked up the plot of robots (2005) was like. rich robot capitalists stop manufacturing certain parts to cause poor robots to become obsolete so they can be melted down and their metal remains used to create more high end products in the name of profit like wow thats genuinely horrifying for a movie whos target audience was mainly 8 year olds

[astraldemise]

this is the same movie that has a character with an ass thats twice the size of her body

[urbanism]

And it was a cinematic masterpiece

[astraldemise]

and it was a cinematic masterpiece

[deafmic]

Throwback to that one time I went to a murder mystery Halloween party where we were given characters who correlated with colors and were told to dress in those colors and one dude showed up dressed as Ted Cruz

[deafmic]

Okay I found the photos

So he wasn't just dressed as Ted Cruz, but he had made a mask of Ted Cruz with a detached mouth that was taped to his chin so it would move when he talked and it was every bit as horrifying as it sounds/looks

Here he is attempting to drink a beer through the mask. His goal was to not take the mask off at all

[deafmic]

I forgot to mention the best part:

He turned out to be the murderer.

[omni-rhombus]

Excuse me, OP?

What color is Ted Cruz?

[deafmic]

I can't remember, but I THINK he might've been black, hence why he had to wear the suit (like a pun on black tie).

[aletheyass]

i wanna fuck this man so bad it makes me look stupid (x)

[totalspiffage]

twitter, but with a body count

[filmnoirsbian]

[brucebocchi]

i’m fucking wheezing this is so demonic

[cerullos]

this is still….so funny

[unknownknights-blog]

It was

[jooshthepunished-deactivated202]

Great thing about this episode is they blew the whole VFX budget for the season and basically the entire music budget on Tainted Love and Toxic that it resulted in cheaper effects and a cheaper score for the rest of the season and they really didn’t have to do that.

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

no, I digress, they did have to do that and aren’t we glad they did

[pissvortex]

the british have something diseased and rotten in place of a brain

[toastp1ercer]

[vortahoney]

Translator? Why not trans now?

[vortahoney]

My parents just read this post aloud to me and asked me if I’d seen it. I don’t know how to react.

[divineandmajesticinone]

that’s what being on tumblr is like

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this