It’s been a good while since I posted here
I don’t even know if any of my mutuals are still active, or the status of most of the people I followed. My last activity was in 2019, and basically, I just want to give a general update. For my own amusement really.
Most of my time on tumblr I was definitely an anti-sjw, transmed, and against subcategories of asexuality.
Now? I fully support people not needing dysphoria/wanting to transition to be trans, neopronouns, bi/pan gays and lesbians, and people using labels they feel best describe them as long as it’s not racially or culturally insensitive to a group they don’t belong to.
What made such a big shift? Basically I realized, it is NOT my place to judge others identities because I don’t understand them. Do you know who does that? Bigots that so many claim to be against. Using terf/lgbtphobic talking points to deny people identities says more about you than the person you think is doing harm. Many transmeds need to stop associating their misery with being trans, your misery is not anyone else’s problems but your own. When you insist that people have to hate a part of themselves to be trans, you’re telling people they have to be Just Like You.
You know who else says that? Bigots who think it’s wrong to be lgbt+. Learning to love yourself is a powerful thing. I remember being miserable and full of hate, the happier I became, the less I tried to control other people’s identities. The joy I see someone show at their identity being respected regardless of their looks will always be more powerful than the anger I see others show for someone daring to be themselves.
A big question I want transmeds, especially transmed men to think about. If cis gay men are allowed to be as feminine as they want without having their maleness questioned, why are trans men not given the same grace? You cannot support one but not the other, unless you are saying trans men aren’t real men. Which is transphobic.
Trans men and trans women owe no one masculinity/femininity. And transitioning does not have to be an end goal.
No predator will target you based on how someone else identifies unless you’re saying you’re okay with victim blaming and allowing the predators to use other people’s identities as a scapegoat for their actions.
