I Have No Idea

Mitchell/24 “We’re still pioneers, we’ve barely begun. Our greatest accomplishments cannot be behind us, cause our destiny lies above us.”

[faggottt]

I am such a “huh” ass bitch. Lmao i got bad hearing sorry

[daggerfall]

Dragonborn: What’s wrong with worshipping Talos?

Thalmor Justiciar: It’s immoral to worship a man. And it’s also illegal. A faithful Imperial citizen would know that. Perhaps there’s something you wish to confess?

Dragonborn:

[moss-nymph]

Why do Bigfoot hunters try to lure him with a mating call? Do they have a game plan for if a squatch comes barreling toward them out of the woods full tilt with a raging boner?

[thrunkling666]

what the fuck do you think the point of finding Bigfoot is

[nanajitter]

The Shape of Forests (2019) dir. Guillermo Del Toro

[littleartpopistmonster]

[infornograph]

[kittensinsocks24]

IF A CREEP WANTS YOUR NUMBER

A series of fake numbers to leave behind.

1-888-447-5594 - Easter egg number for finishing God of War, contains a dramatic speech. Personal favorite.

605-475-6968 - Rejection hotline, politely explains that whoever gave you this number turned ya down, buddy

888-276-6760 - The 24-hour Klu Klux Klanline where you can get a FREE INFORMATION BOOKLET!!!!1!

866-740-4531 - Only responds with “I am Groot”

206-569-5829 - Seattle radio station “Loser Line”. If they leave a weird voicemail, it could get broadcast over the airwaves.

Stay safe, people.

[thefeywildling]

Don’t forget about 515-808-2362, the number that rings and then plays the John Cena thing.

[47lamborghinis-deactivated20160]

309-889-0497 plays the evangelation theme

[jdeko]

Evangelation

[sirchubbybunny]

There’s also 855-523-9386 which will respond to the caller with a robot beat boxing Korn’s “Freak on a Leash”.

[tomysshadow-deactivated20230715]

Who knew so many weird almost useless phone numbers existed?

[bldvnbln]

This is wonderful

[striders]

literally every skin and hair care professional in the world: hot showers are really damaging!!!

me, stepping out of the shower into a bathroom filled floor to ceiling with steam, my skin glowing neon pink after i’ve scrubbed every inch of my body raw under boiling water: Interesting!

[tooiconic]

This is a call out.

[such-justice-wow]

Both are good!

[aivopaahdin-blog]

Fucking finally! Some good news for us hot shower lovers!

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Who showers in their underwear?

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Show us the cartoon dick you cowards

[dankmemeuniversity]

aren't contact lenses just boneless glasses?

[tinas-belcher]

[crap-userrname16]

[dark-waves]

[captain-price-official]

Let the man live.

[unclefather]

[funny-pictures-uk-deactivated20]

[grandchild-deactivated20180219]

*being buried alive*

murderer, out of breath: how are you eating the dirt so quickly

[bitesremade]

shoutout to all of the mutuals posting cows and mushrooms instead of making me read any dumb shit i love you

[sistertaxon]

when you drive your chevy to the levee but the levee is dry and you see the good old boys drinking whiskey and rye

[peetababy]

u kno ur a 90’s kid when u look at ur birth certificate and it says 1990-99  

[fuck-customers]

[life-of-eris]

If you had five billion you could hop from job to job, calling entitled customers idiots all across your city, putting the fear of You into every shithead in town until people become afraid to be rude to servers and cashiers, lest you emerge from the back room like some kind of manners-enforcing specter

[aceofsquiddles]

[lmaonade]

i’m partially glad i’m not rich. if i had an infinite surplus of money i’d have certainly eaten myself to death on white chocolate reese’s cups by age 14 

[rcktpwr]

so dying a warrior’s death means nothing to you?