i take requests!! i mostly do character analysis, headcanons, and fics
main fandoms i'll write for: resident evil, dispatch, last of us, one piece, hannibal nbc, arcane, my hero academia, stardew valley, not a limited list just what i'm mainly familiar with (romantic/nsfw is ADULT CHARACTERS ONLY)
interests: megan thee stallion, neuroscience, dolls, oddities, animal care, psychology, gaming, horror media, making my own fanart
RULES/DNI: y'all can't be weird about nsfw content in either direction. we go by horror media logic: there are rules and limits to what's acceptable in fiction, if you don't agree you're not welcome. there are also things you do in fiction you would never do in real life, if you don't agree you're not welcome either.
basically dont be weird about minors, family members, animals and anything else along those line. but don't jump me when i start getting real weird about medical play.
masterlist:
🌀-blurbs (feel free to ask for a longer version or use them as prompts with credit), 🎼-imagines, 🫧-headcanons, 💫-series
resident evil:
leon s kennedy:
submissive leon x submissive reader 🌀
making him implode from love and care🌀
retired annoying bisexual x current annoying bisexual🌀
i can't watch the pitt season three bc my favorite in season one was doctor collin's. now my favorite in season two is doctor al-hashimi. god damnit honestly just take me out back and shoot me 😭
heres the thing with albert wesker. he fucking LOVES his friends and you genuinely, Genuinely cannot convince me otherwise.
i do not believe that anything that happened with jill and chris was Only revenge, but why am i so insistent albert wesker is not only an inherently emotional person but that he genuinely cares for chris and jill and values them as friends? especially jill when he's not as obviously connected to her like he is chris? because we've seen revenge in the resident evil universe, the things it will push you to, and it specifically does not match up with weskers actions.
i particularly want to compare him to william birkin because they were in similar positions at umbrella, had the exact same main failure in raccoon city when the co-founder they was supposed to kill didn't die, and that then lead to each of their own failures in re1 and re2. because from everything i've seen, i ain't gotten to re0 myself personally but i know ab it bc i love rebecca, they're besties they are both planning on wrapping up and getting out of umbrella, they work very closely. for all intents and purposes they're parallels, both working with lisa, both killing the cofounder, both having failures in raccoon city
but you see. when william birkin was confronted with the reality of his failures he threw every connection he'd ever formed out the window. fuck wesker, fuck umbrella, and fuck his wife and kid. like in his revenge he put his wife and his daughters lives not Just at risk but he used their lives like a shield to protect him. william knew what he was doing when he infected himself, and he didn't care, he didn't care when annette burst in as he was transforming, he didn't care when he slammed his life partner in work and family into a wall, and he didn't care when he was hunting down sherry to infect her, which he knew was going to happen because HES RHE ONE RESEARCHING THE G VIRUS. william birkin personally, HIMSELF, in seeking revenge after he killed a superior, injured his wife and directly led her to her death, and almost killed his daughter.
yeah yeah okay we all know william is awful and evil what does this have to do with wesker being besties w jill and chris?
under the exact same circumstances, actually arguably more stressful ones because he's also in charge of stars, he not only did NOT kill chris and jill in re1, he literally only killed that one stars member jill came across that mentioned having been betrayed. okay well maybe he was instructed not to kill them awesome that genuinely does make sense.
but then i watched jill tackle him out a window over a cliff months to years later after he failed and they escaped the spencer mansion. oh so i'm supposed to believe wesker is mr unfeeling mad man -when he put years, at least thousands if not millions, and put off his other goals to save jill valentine, get her stable and transferred into a lab, spend years and so. so many resources making sure that she survived and the experiments succeeded as well as manipulating her to join his side??
i'm supposed to believe that this is all some masterminded revenge plot to hurt chris? when william birkin experienced failure his revenge was fuck it we all gotta die. and i'm supposed to believe that his direct parallel put time money and effort into SAVING jill for a revenge plot? william was ready to sacrifice his daughter for revenge and then heres wesker "oh well you see it's all apart of my evil plan to protect my friend and keep her close to me and keep saving her life when i've had a gun to her multiple times and also could've literally left her under that cliff, no it's way more evil to keep her healthy and by my side im such a master manipulator" AND IM SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE HIM????
LIKE IM SORRY HES NOT EMOTIONLESS HES NOT A MASTER MANIPULATOR HES A LOSER (lovingly. i love him for saying he's so bad and evil while holding his besties close to him unable to think about losing them) he is consistently performing care at every other turn. i cannot count how many times wesker has had a gun pinned directly on either of them but never shot, i can't name how many times wesker has prevented them both from dying, but i can count how many seconds it took william to put his own work above his wife and child.
this is for fun!! i am absolutely open to going back and forth but this is just a chit chat!! also please don't be weird about mental health guys. sociopaths and psychopaths are not a thing please stop stereotyping cluster b disorders. not cool
"albert wesker is incapable of feeling emotions" hey that's the most emotional man i've ever seen. he loves thinking about his successes and not in a muahaha way but in a "yeah.. i did that!!" way and see this is a thing so consistent since the first game im over here like yk maybe im just reading him wrong in re1 maybe he changes. then i got to re4 and i'm like huh.. no changes yet.. maybe 5 he's just so consumed with rage he can't really express anything else so i look up his cutscenes in the game AND THAT MAN IS GLEEFUL REVEALING JILL!!! dude at the very least is so pleased with himself that it's actually kinda goofy i love him
like the entire point with albert wesker is he Genuinely believes he is emotionless so when he does things out of emotion they're actions that he doesn't even recognize. he thinks acts of emotion are specifically these big open displays like chris and jill especially in stars where they're super friendly and close, laughing freely making jokes comforting the other while sad defending the other even if you get hurt. that's what he thinks emotions are like. he thinks he's emotionless specifically because he does not understand that emotions can be subtle. if you really look at him he consistently has these huge plans and displays of power not because he wants admiration but because when they happen he feels happy, his entire actions from the beginning can be seen as him seeking internal validation like "yeah.. i am better than the rest! i'm so cool and smart and evil look what i did"
and you may think i'm dumbing him down but i pinky promise i'm not, he is socially underdeveloped like that is a skill that has not improved since childhood. unlike others who as they get older get validation from friends, from colleagues, from mentors, and they learn how to validate themselves as they get into adulthood. albert wesker fundamentally has not had that skill he has not ever developed a skill that most adults at least have some form of. so his internal validation seeking is simple: "i planned this out, it went well, im a success and i'm better than everyone else just like i was told"
we obviously see him angry and frustrated but also idk about y'all but in the cutscene where he kills spencer he seems genuinely hurt like it does not seem like anger. because hear me out on this, he taunts spencer as he kills them. not explaining his plans and seeing them get upset at the betrayal like he does to others but specifically brings him in, taunts that man with his own words, and albert kills him with his own hands. killing a man right after he says he was supposed to be a god, then claiming yourself as that god. that's not a normal villain taunting a victim with a haha pathetic and then tossing them away, that was a man so hurt by what was said that he Had to prove spencer wrong. he was better than the rest, he was PERFECT, his mistake in raccoon city didnt matter, he was more successful than spencer. he had to prove himself above the man who created him SPECIFICALLY to rule over him. no. no that's not an emotionless kill. an example of an actually emotionless kill is sevika slicing through the tattooed guys without even blinking. not pulling someone in to speak directly in their ear with your hand around their heart. UGH it's so sad if you think ab it from his perspective
Wanted to add something here, but I agree 100% with everything you said 🫶
It bugs me when people see Wesker as lacking emotions also BECAUSE even if all the emotion he ever shows is anger THAT IS STILL AN EMOTION. Not to be woke rn but people see anger in men as a default, as a natural state of being, when it's just an emotion like any other. But when men get angry and start throwing temper tantrums people are too scared to say anything, whereas when women do it, they're labeled hysterical.
So aside from the obvious excitement, glee, and pride he shows every single time he reveals one of his plans and/or achievements (you're right, he does this in every game lmao first with Tyrant, then with his plan to Ada, then with Jill. It's adorable I love him), Wesker is also very much an emotional person who reacts with anger when his feelings are hurt, when things don't go his way. Even the fact that he hates Chris is proof of him being emotional. People who don't have emotions don't CARE. And in order to hate someone you have to CARE very much.
Whenever I write him I always make it a point to emphasise that he DOES feel emotions, it's just that he's very good at ignoring them/pretending they're not there for various reasons (he thinks they're useless or he doesn't have time for that or he's been taught not to let emotions rule him so he chooses the 'intellectual' path instead of what his heart tells him, take your pick) but I love your interpretation of him simply being unaware that he IS expressing emotions, just on a smaller, subtler scale, because he was never taught these things.
no actually get woker because you're so right. people do see anger as a man's baseline emotion, but it's not. we are shown time and time again weskers baseline is cool calm composed, everything is going to plan and he's at the very least content. but then he's so fucking quick to anger when he's hurt. and it's not like oh there's a build up he's angry over other things too no he specifically lashes out in anger when he feels hurt/slighted. it's not his natural state it's just the most visible emotion he shows.
hatred is also an emotion and youre so right about chris. he ain't just quick to anger he is specifically quick to anger with people close to him. he's not on a hair trigger with ada or the evil pretty lady in 5, it's Specifically spencer jill and chris, but Especially chris because i do genuinely think he formed a bond with him in stars either platonic or romantic but either way he cares the most about chris
also your writing on him helped inspire this!! i've thought this since i played re1 and it only got stronger as i started watching re4, the reason i was really doubting my interpretation tho was because everyone sees him as so emotionless yk maybe im reading into it too much. then i came across your fics and was like oh someone else sees it!! i went to watch clips from re5 just to make sure, because yk maybe he changed from everything that happened. first cutscene is him dramatically waiting for chris and jill to show up. OH he cares SO much. like it's genuinely so silly i love him he's like "everything is going to plan i've lured them here" baby you just wanted to see your friends. if he didn't care he could've sent in a mercenary or bioweapon, he didn't have to stare out a window longingly as he waits for his besties to show up like oh i love him dearly
Omg I'm grinning so much 🫣 completely blindsided me by saying my writing inspired this, I didnt expect it 😩 but i am so glad it did bc this is such a good analysis of weskie boo ‼️ he just wants friends :( but all he knows is backstab and evil monologue :( why won't Jill and Chris be his friends :(
AHH!!! thats exactly how i felt when i saw u added onto this, it made me so excited!! AND THANK YOU!!
i do really think he's attached to chris and jill like he seriously does want to be close to him but to wesker closeness equals pain, for him and others, to be close is to be weak. the only connection that isn't weak is a colleague working towards the same exact goal, that way they're not holding you back, they're not someone you're worried about protecting because they're right next to you building upon your plans. he so so clearly wants that with them, that's why he proudly explained the tyrant to chris, that's why instead of killing jill he brought her into the fold. HE don't think he's trying to bond with them cause if you look at it from the outside it actually becomes a scenario where it's not that he doesn't want to, but that he doesn't know How to bond with others without it being a weakness
this is for fun!! i am absolutely open to going back and forth but this is just a chit chat!! also please don't be weird about mental health guys. sociopaths and psychopaths are not a thing please stop stereotyping cluster b disorders. not cool
"albert wesker is incapable of feeling emotions" hey that's the most emotional man i've ever seen. he loves thinking about his successes and not in a muahaha way but in a "yeah.. i did that!!" way and see this is a thing so consistent since the first game im over here like yk maybe im just reading him wrong in re1 maybe he changes. then i got to re4 and i'm like huh.. no changes yet.. maybe 5 he's just so consumed with rage he can't really express anything else so i look up his cutscenes in the game AND THAT MAN IS GLEEFUL REVEALING JILL!!! dude at the very least is so pleased with himself that it's actually kinda goofy i love him
like the entire point with albert wesker is he Genuinely believes he is emotionless so when he does things out of emotion they're actions that he doesn't even recognize. he thinks acts of emotion are specifically these big open displays like chris and jill especially in stars where they're super friendly and close, laughing freely making jokes comforting the other while sad defending the other even if you get hurt. that's what he thinks emotions are like. he thinks he's emotionless specifically because he does not understand that emotions can be subtle. if you really look at him he consistently has these huge plans and displays of power not because he wants admiration but because when they happen he feels happy, his entire actions from the beginning can be seen as him seeking internal validation like "yeah.. i am better than the rest! i'm so cool and smart and evil look what i did"
and you may think i'm dumbing him down but i pinky promise i'm not, he is socially underdeveloped like that is a skill that has not improved since childhood. unlike others who as they get older get validation from friends, from colleagues, from mentors, and they learn how to validate themselves as they get into adulthood. albert wesker fundamentally has not had that skill he has not ever developed a skill that most adults at least have some form of. so his internal validation seeking is simple: "i planned this out, it went well, im a success and i'm better than everyone else just like i was told"
we obviously see him angry and frustrated but also idk about y'all but in the cutscene where he kills spencer he seems genuinely hurt like it does not seem like anger. because hear me out on this, he taunts spencer as he kills them. not explaining his plans and seeing them get upset at the betrayal like he does to others but specifically brings him in, taunts that man with his own words, and albert kills him with his own hands. killing a man right after he says he was supposed to be a god, then claiming yourself as that god. that's not a normal villain taunting a victim with a haha pathetic and then tossing them away, that was a man so hurt by what was said that he Had to prove spencer wrong. he was better than the rest, he was PERFECT, his mistake in raccoon city didnt matter, he was more successful than spencer. he had to prove himself above the man who created him SPECIFICALLY to rule over him. no. no that's not an emotionless kill. an example of an actually emotionless kill is sevika slicing through the tattooed guys without even blinking. not pulling someone in to speak directly in their ear with your hand around their heart. UGH it's so sad if you think ab it from his perspective
Wanted to add something here, but I agree 100% with everything you said 🫶
It bugs me when people see Wesker as lacking emotions also BECAUSE even if all the emotion he ever shows is anger THAT IS STILL AN EMOTION. Not to be woke rn but people see anger in men as a default, as a natural state of being, when it's just an emotion like any other. But when men get angry and start throwing temper tantrums people are too scared to say anything, whereas when women do it, they're labeled hysterical.
So aside from the obvious excitement, glee, and pride he shows every single time he reveals one of his plans and/or achievements (you're right, he does this in every game lmao first with Tyrant, then with his plan to Ada, then with Jill. It's adorable I love him), Wesker is also very much an emotional person who reacts with anger when his feelings are hurt, when things don't go his way. Even the fact that he hates Chris is proof of him being emotional. People who don't have emotions don't CARE. And in order to hate someone you have to CARE very much.
Whenever I write him I always make it a point to emphasise that he DOES feel emotions, it's just that he's very good at ignoring them/pretending they're not there for various reasons (he thinks they're useless or he doesn't have time for that or he's been taught not to let emotions rule him so he chooses the 'intellectual' path instead of what his heart tells him, take your pick) but I love your interpretation of him simply being unaware that he IS expressing emotions, just on a smaller, subtler scale, because he was never taught these things.
no actually get woker because you're so right. people do see anger as a man's baseline emotion, but it's not. we are shown time and time again weskers baseline is cool calm composed, everything is going to plan and he's at the very least content. but then he's so fucking quick to anger when he's hurt. and it's not like oh there's a build up he's angry over other things too no he specifically lashes out in anger when he feels hurt/slighted. it's not his natural state it's just the most visible emotion he shows.
hatred is also an emotion and youre so right about chris. he ain't just quick to anger he is specifically quick to anger with people close to him. he's not on a hair trigger with ada or the evil pretty lady in 5, it's Specifically spencer jill and chris, but Especially chris because i do genuinely think he formed a bond with him in stars either platonic or romantic but either way he cares the most about chris
also your writing on him helped inspire this!! i've thought this since i played re1 and it only got stronger as i started watching re4, the reason i was really doubting my interpretation tho was because everyone sees him as so emotionless yk maybe im reading into it too much. then i came across your fics and was like oh someone else sees it!! i went to watch clips from re5 just to make sure, because yk maybe he changed from everything that happened. first cutscene is him dramatically waiting for chris and jill to show up. OH he cares SO much. like it's genuinely so silly i love him he's like "everything is going to plan i've lured them here" baby you just wanted to see your friends. if he didn't care he could've sent in a mercenary or bioweapon, he didn't have to stare out a window longingly as he waits for his besties to show up like oh i love him dearly
this is for fun!! i am absolutely open to going back and forth but this is just a chit chat!! also please don't be weird about mental health guys. sociopaths and psychopaths are not a thing please stop stereotyping cluster b disorders. not cool
"albert wesker is incapable of feeling emotions" hey that's the most emotional man i've ever seen. he loves thinking about his successes and not in a muahaha way but in a "yeah.. i did that!!" way and see this is a thing so consistent since the first game im over here like yk maybe im just reading him wrong in re1 maybe he changes. then i got to re4 and i'm like huh.. no changes yet.. maybe 5 he's just so consumed with rage he can't really express anything else so i look up his cutscenes in the game AND THAT MAN IS GLEEFUL REVEALING JILL!!! dude at the very least is so pleased with himself that it's actually kinda goofy i love him
like the entire point with albert wesker is he Genuinely believes he is emotionless so when he does things out of emotion they're actions that he doesn't even recognize. he thinks acts of emotion are specifically these big open displays like chris and jill especially in stars where they're super friendly and close, laughing freely making jokes comforting the other while sad defending the other even if you get hurt. that's what he thinks emotions are like. he thinks he's emotionless specifically because he does not understand that emotions can be subtle. if you really look at him he consistently has these huge plans and displays of power not because he wants admiration but because when they happen he feels happy, his entire actions from the beginning can be seen as him seeking internal validation like "yeah.. i am better than the rest! i'm so cool and smart and evil look what i did"
and you may think i'm dumbing him down but i pinky promise i'm not, he is socially underdeveloped like that is a skill that has not improved since childhood. unlike others who as they get older get validation from friends, from colleagues, from mentors, and they learn how to validate themselves as they get into adulthood. albert wesker fundamentally has not had that skill he has not ever developed a skill that most adults at least have some form of. so his internal validation seeking is simple: "i planned this out, it went well, im a success and i'm better than everyone else just like i was told"
we obviously see him angry and frustrated but also idk about y'all but in the cutscene where he kills spencer he seems genuinely hurt like it does not seem like anger. because hear me out on this, he taunts spencer as he kills them. not explaining his plans and seeing them get upset at the betrayal like he does to others but specifically brings him in, taunts that man with his own words, and albert kills him with his own hands. killing a man right after he says he was supposed to be a god, then claiming yourself as that god. that's not a normal villain taunting a victim with a haha pathetic and then tossing them away, that was a man so hurt by what was said that he Had to prove spencer wrong. he was better than the rest, he was PERFECT, his mistake in raccoon city didnt matter, he was more successful than spencer. he had to prove himself above the man who created him SPECIFICALLY to rule over him. no. no that's not an emotionless kill. an example of an actually emotionless kill is sevika slicing through the tattooed guys without even blinking. not pulling someone in to speak directly in their ear with your hand around their heart. UGH it's so sad if you think ab it from his perspective
summary/warnings: afab reader, consensual, ohhhh he's so big he's so big and tall and-
the tip is enough to make you yelp out as your knees try to close in on yourself, only for them to be stopped by a massive hand, much bigger than that of an average man
"shh dear.. you're doing so well for me," he coos out soothingly. victor gideon isn't a monster, but a Doctor, a man of Science, so of course he prepared his patient thoroughly for treatment today. he slowly moves his hips back before sliding into you the slightest bit more, pushing the limits on the soft tissues pliability. "that's it.. you're doing so well for your treatment, so well for your doctor.. i didn't even have to restrain you this time" he hums out
you are completely unaware of any rational thought at that point though, he's now managed to bully half of himself into your cunt and despite the preparation of his fingers Nothing could've prepared you for this. your hips are tilted back on the bed, his large hands lifting the small of your back and keeping it in the air so that your hips could meet his easier, and also so he'd be able to easily fuck his way into your posterior fornix, forcing your organs to shift to accommodate his intimidating size.
you can feel it, the soft tissue giving and making way for the intrusion. between that and she sheer weight of his cock pressing into you has your leg shooting up, trying to hook onto anything to ground yourself against the overwhelming sensations. but the angle just makes it easier for him to continue stretching the limits of how much your body can take, as he finally sheathes himself fully inside your cunt.
something becoming increasingly obvious to me as i play more of re4 is that ada literally is not manipulative. she tricked leon once. when he was on his first day as a cop and was still like "what do you MEAN the government knows??" like sorry not that difficult actually, but then then in re4 when he becomes aware that she is there he is a trained operative who now not only knows the game but has previous information that ada specifically will lie and manipulate to get to her goal. hey so at that point it's not manipulation that's a grown ass special trained operative making a decision to still trust her. like yeah in re2 absolutely doe eyed clinging to the hope that this is all some big misunderstanding once she goes back to tell the fbi and government gets here it'll all be over everything will be fixed the doctors and scientists go to jail no more zombies, but that is no longer the case in Any other game. what the fuck is there to manipulate now?? like genuinely am i supposed to believe that the man sent in on a SOLO MISSION TO SAVE THE PRESIDENTS DAUGHTER is just out here getting manipulated by someone that he is Acutely aware is a double agent? or maybe just maybe he actually trusts her. maybe ada wong isn't some crazy manipulative person but a person that tries to stick to her own moral compass whenever it doesn't directly put her life in danger. MAYBR THATS WHY A TRAINED SOLDIER LIKE LEON KEEPS TRUSTING HER ITS NOT MANIPULATION SHES A GOOD PERSON AHHHH
circling rookie leon like prey.. i need to bite him. i need to bite his jaw so hard it leaves imprints when he goes to work. i need to jerk him off until he's crying and moving his hips away from the stimulation. i need to rub along his perineum while giving him head so i can feel his legs quiver. i need to be inside him fucking him open with slow gentle strokes as he whines and arches his back.
seeing leon in other games after watching/playing requiem is kinda disappointing like.. why arent all his shirts tight enough that i could calculate the exact angle and slope of his tits? why are they not all tight enough i can see his nipples pushing against the tight fabric??
warnings/summary: absurdly consensual for the context, you're REALLY into it, not safe or sane tho. experimentation, drugging, needles, med play, praise kink, manipulation(?), doctor/patient dynamics, afab reader, fingering, honestly not as dark as the tags imply you just want his reassurance and attention and he's more than happy to provide such for his most loved toy
what really gets me is the warmth and familiarity of the way victor gideon speaks, he doesn't particularly care to speak to others needlessly so when he does speak to you it's.. in a way of conviction, of reverence
he'd explain everything he's planning for his favorite patient, large fingers flicking the sensitive skin on your inner elbow in order to find a good vein, "maybe if you're good i'll let you pick the next experiment dear.. doesn't that sound nice? hmm.." he trails off with a hum as he easily slides the butterfly needle into your arm
the same man who backs off when you scream in terror for the first time during his tests, putting down the needle filled with something he won't tell you about. speaking to you in a soothing manner he suggests, "we can hold off on this particular experiment cant we dear? your comfort is most important.." as his hands move to unstrap your hands from the examination table. you pull them out slowly, rubbing your wrists gingerly as you look at him hesitantly, not believing him yet. "it's quite alright, pet.." he says as he helps you stand on your own two feet, "why don't i show you the results of your mri? doesn't that sound nice?" his large hand covering the entire lower half of your back as he leads you into his personal office
every time you excitedly ramble about new symptoms and observations of his most recent experiment on you he smiles and cards a gigantic hand through your hair as he asks, "and what do i owe you in payment for the study, hmm pet?" you look up at him excitedly as you ask for new fancy pens for your note taking, watching as he allows a soft smile to grace his face. of course such a good experiment deserves rewards for being so diligent in their findings, nothing dangerous of course, and you're still now allowed any technology to access the outside world, but you have room decor, journals and pens, physical media like vinyls, books, dvds, small things to fill your days when gideon is too busy to attend to you
his favorite moments with you are when your fighting against the effects of the anesthetics in your system just to keep talking to him, asking him questions about the treatment just to keep your eyes open a little bit longer to see the gentle smile gracing his face in amusement to your actions and.. honor in how much trust you put in him. he holds your hand, rubbing a thumb against the back of your hand as he continues to talk quietly to you, only moving away as your breaths start to even out.
in the beginning you catch his attention by requiring no manipulation, no coercion or incapacitation, just asking simple requests in return. it catches him by surprise the first time he brings you into his own personal examination room, you easily hopping up on the table without prompting as you look around the room completely unconcerned about your surroundings. when he approaches you with a tray of sterilized tools you finally start to look anxious and he expects resistance, but all you do is look up at him, "... can you hold my hand?" he just blinks, momentarily stunned, but he quickly regains his bearings as he reassures you, "oh of course, pet. believe it or not i was once afraid of blood myself" he murmurs as his hand envelops your own, your hand flipping around to lace your fingers with his.
when he feels you wither in pain once again he can't help but feel his frustrations rise, placing the scalpel to the side he moves to grab a gauze, using it to stifle any blood still lazily welling up in the wound. he closes his eyes as he hears you hiss and feels you move to the side in his grip, "stop your insolent squirming, you were the one who denied anesthetics." he grits out as he removes the gauze to continue his work carving his work into your flesh, imbedding himself in you in a manner you could never forget. the next time you squirm he allows the scalpel to slice in just a hair further as he says in a low tone, "stay still, you are testing my self control." but to his surprise you arch up into the bite of the blade with a smile on your face as you tell him, "oh doctor.. what if that's what i wanted?"
the next time he approaches you with a syringe filled with one of the only experiments he refuses to tell you about you're still hesitant, but you let him strap your arms to the exam table, "it's okay dear.. you just need to trust me" he whispers. you close your eyes tightly and nod in resolution, but victor doesn't want you tense and anxious for this one so his free hand not holding the syringe moves to rub gently at your covered pussy. it catches you by surprise enough that your eyes shoot open to see his own now uncovered eyes locked on your face, but he just raises a brow as he fells your hips intentionally push into the feeling, staring each other down as you continue your grinding movement as best as you can on the table. "what an.. interesting reaction..." he observes as his hand slowly moves to push your hospital gown up, large fingers easily moving the fabric of your underwear as one starts to circle around your entrance, a thumb moving to rub up against your clit as the finger finally sinks in. you moan out and ball your hands into fists, wishing you could reach out and grab anything to ground yourself as that thick finger starts moving in and out of you with obscenely wet noises for the circumstances. when he feels you start to rut your hips into his hand, seeking more, he finally broaches your entrance with a second finger. it stretches you out enough to leave you gasping but it's not a painful sensation, the gasps turning to moans as he starts to move them. you're quickly approaching your peak under his skilled hands and he notices, moving faster inside you despite the way your walls are clenching around him. when you do cum it's electric, body arching off the table as far as possible as you chant his name, but it quickly turns into whimpers as he keeps going, not letting up at all. when your eyes start welling up tears at the overstimulation you hear him say, "yess.. that's it dear, just like that.." as you feel a poke in the crease of your inner elbow, your eyes closing at the sensation letting your tears finally fall, "i'm going to make you a star.. all you need to do is trust me," he breathes out.
no because i really do want to talk about leon not hitting emily's vitals. it makes me violently emotional every time i think about it and i haven't personally seen anyone else talk about it aside from thinking it's just something to appease fans but i really don't think that's the case, i think it has to do with sherry, kendo's daughter, and the rookie cop still inside him and that's what makes it so fucking gut wrenching.
he killed marie, completely. no bringing her back, he saw a b.o.w. attacking an un-infected woman and did exactly what he was trained to do without thinking, it was second nature. he knows the best thing he can do for these people now is make sure their bodies aren't taken over against their will by taking them out completely, he knows there's no cure once theyve turned, there never has been. but when emily turned into the exact same monster as marie and attacked grace in the same circumstances he intentionally missed those vitals. why would he do that? he is by no means unaccustomed to losing people he cares for including by his own hand, so what changed? why did a man who's been doing this for years, haunted by constant mistakes, knowing the only thing he can do for them now is to let them rest, who has faced much more dangerous opponents and managed to take out their vitals Not hit a monsters this time.
i think it has to do with kendo and his daughter. and i think that's why the bones were shown. he knows, Knows the only thing to do at that point is to put them down, but this is a man that carries the weight of every death, including that little girl he had no way of saving. he did what he had to for grace and emily but he couldn't. Couldn't silence that rookie inside him that desperately wanted there to be a way to reverse it. a rookie who was desperate to believe there was a way to Fix this, to save everyone.
he couldn't face the reality of not being able to save another child, acting on instinct without even thinking, and that instinct was to Hope there would for one time actually be a cure at the end of this particular tunnel. even when his rational mind didn't, even when his rational mind did what he needed to keep grace safe, even when his rational mind thought that elpis had to be destroyed
at what point does the mask become part of you? we've all heard of cases of "method acting" or actors and musicians take on new qualities after a role? not even in extreme ways but maybe their favorite color changes, they look at things differently. or alternatively they make small changes to a characters personality, add in an improvised line, change the tone of something, use pieces of their own wardrobe to add your own touch to the personality you're performing as, i also think of the cases in which playing a role can have an effect on how people as a general see you, if you're constantly playing the hero or you're always the bad guy it bleeds into peoples opinions of the actor/musician.
so imagine wearing that mask, playing the role of a completely different person with completely different morals, for years, decades at a time, never allowing it to slip up in front of others. you know its impeccable, never slipping or showing cracks. or does it. what happens when the mask is so good, the role so well performed, that it convinces even You. what happens when you're so used to acting the role, so used to the mask, that you actually don't even notice your own unique traits peeking out. are you influencing the role or is it influencing you at that point? does it ultimately matter when the performance shifts slightly regardless of which is influencing which, regardless if you as the performer even notices the shift. and it's THAT that i wanna dig into
i think the mask is so convincing it fools the audience, her colleagues, her associates. ada wong obviously always has a choice. she always chooses herself. she doesn't hesitate, doesn't falter doing whatever she needs to do to gain more respect, connections, money, power, even the expense of others. but if she had the power to choose why would she need more? if ada wong had the power of agency why would she be on the front lines doing the dirty work? why the fuck would The ada wong who's a known shadow that isn't aligned with any organization be doing what's essentially grunt work, retrieving things for people?
she doesn't have a choice, she isn't unfeeling, she isn't above the other agents sent in to go fetch, and she definitely isn't resolute in her beliefs. the woman beneath the mask, even without her realizing it, started to peek out whenever she was directly confronted. ada didn't even notice the cracks because she never expected the attack. she's used to hardening herself to do what she has to, betray who she has to, harm who she has to, she can deflect those no problem, and if someone does manage to scratch the surface ada knows how to repair it. she had no preparation for people trying to crack through the mask not to hurt but to care about the woman underneath, she didn't realize the cracks splintering the surface of her mask were there because they didn't come from violence, from manipulation, but from care.
i don't think the mask will ever actually be gone, i think ada wong will always be apart of the woman beneath the mask, but it's not all there is to her. i think the performance and the performer are equally important. i love the mask of harshness and manipulation as much as i love the woman under the mask desperately wanting to believe that people Are willing to go out of their way for others, that there will be people who care enough to stand in the way of her and danger.
