I do things sometimes

Call me J | He/him 

[my-name-is-j]

new url! formerly @thiswebsitegavemethisusername

[my-name-is-j]

deficiency? well yeah that's where they live

[catchymemes]

Exciting news out of Madison Wisconsin…

[personification-of-anxiety]

[luntfontanne]

literally this:

[ponyboyfaceshopping]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bogleech]

If they’re bringing back the color theory we should bring back ALL the good memes ………………..slime man

[bogleech]

can’t believe you all forgot about him………………………slime man

[reallyndacarter]

Who is Vriska?

[rabdoidal]

[casasupernovas]

you know what im just gonna say it.

i really dislike the assertion that people dislike rose in series 2 because we can't bear to see her more 'confident' and 'assertive.' more 'sure of herself.'

not only is this a blatant glossing over of rose's actual arc in that season - which was becoming a more selfish person (i'm sorry it is the truth), but here's the thing:

we all know what a confident, more self assured, brilliant rose looks like. i champion the first season so hard because it does it perfectly. rose is wearing red in the last two episodes because she's confident enough to wear red now, and she can pull it off too. no more loose fitting clothes, but fun, vibrant ones - see boom town.

the most blatant and best example of rose becoming more assertive, self assured and confident is in 'the long game', where the doctor is visibly proud of her as she shows adam around, showing how much she has learned.

that, is a confident rose tyler. she's not perfect but she's grown.

rose's 'confidence' in series 2 manifests in ugly ways and it's the truth, and that's because she's not becoming more confident, she's becoming cold. her cocky attitude towards cassandra shows her becoming fearless but also the girl who plead for cassandra's life before is nowhere to be found, now she laughs at the memory of cassandra's demise. next, she stares at a man being mauled to death and shows that she completely doesn't care seconds later, preferring to prioritise giddy excitement at seeing a werewolf. she's becoming desensitised. she's eager to trip up a pig in the 50s with the doctor, leaving the family to suffer the mess after the door is closed. "you've had your fun." quickly dismisses the alien in 'fear her.' in some cases, she's only empathetic when the narrative needs us to feel sorry for characters like elton despite expressing anger moments earlier.

rose isn't disliked for being 'confident' in series 2. she's disliked because rose loses most of her best qualities, or if they were there, they are in the background, not the foreground. in fact, some are so much in the back that they're literally in deleted scenes.

none of what i say should be controversial honestly. it is within the actual subtext and literal text of the show. s4 rose is another entity entirely though.

[detectivehole]

Are there any blue roses? Like real ones. Or do they just take the white, green, or red ones then paint them as blue?

no, blue roses don’t occur in nature- but they’re easy to make artificially. just place a cut white rose into blue-dyed water and wait a bit, and eventually the rose will be blue. also why did you ask me this

[detectivehole]

i used to stick flowers in dye as a kid to make them different colors

[detectivehole]

every month i track down and kill a member of various professions so that i can absorb their workplace knowledge. last june i shredded a florist

[rogha]

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

[rogha]

like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’ 

[rogha]

bbc sherlock wants what i have

[lohboh]

I love when someone sends a Tumblr post over discord and the embed just highlights their blog title like:

[catchymemes]

[lectorel]

What gets me is not only do these two cats look damn near identical, one of them decided got picked up by a total stranger and immediately decided ‘this is my human and I’m gonna keep ‘em’.

[chucktaylorupset]

The Prince and the Pawper

[my-name-is-j]

hive social??????

idk what im doing on that but my username is mynameisj. add me if you want or dont or whatever

[piendish]

Feeling sixk.. cougf cockf… im so shick

[piendish]

I nemeed meddysine

[piendish]

pleabse. doctor 🧑‍⚕️??

[berrybreadd]

be sure to take ALL of these and you shall no longer experience the affects of sick

[piendish]

Thank Christ…… fucking vital mins

[piendish]

Hourhhfbf

[adobe-outdesign]

The trick to understanding the DHMIS trio’s dynamic is to know that Duck likes Red Guy

Red Guy likes Yellow Guy

and Yellow Guy likes Duck.

it is because of this dynamic that none of them are happy with their current situation yet none of them can live without it. and also why they kill each other with chainsaws sometimes