It’s been a while and I’m sad Now

So here we are, from pretty stoner girl to now diagnosed #saddie with a fatty. Well, hi I’m Van and welcome to my depressing corner of the internet.

[3l1zathoughts]

[mys0ulhurts]

There’s so much trauma and hurt pent up behind these blue eyes. For a long time I stonewalled emotion, but now even the smallest cracks open a floodgate.

[deskboii]

Every time I say I'm at my lowest... next time is always lower.

[neurodivergenttales]

‘You’re not trying hard enough’

I’m literally only still alive so that I don’t hurt you

I’m dragging myself through every day, just existing not living, dealing with the screaming thoughts in my head all to spare you from hurt

And you’re telling me that I’m not trying hard enough?

[mys0ulhurts]

I just want to post an update. I think I'm gonna try and find the beauty in life again...

[depressedlover2000]

[mys0ulhurts]

Every day when I go to work. It’s hard working in IT surrounded by smart and motivated people when it’s hard enough for me to just remember to shower.

[howtoescapethis]

They tell you to talk but they never listen..

[mys0ulhurts]

Sounds like my therapist ☠️☠️☠️

[cyberxbattalion]

[lost3inwonderland]

@crazyonmain

[mys0ulhurts]

Good thing I feel so brain dead I don’t think anymore 🫠

[escritos-perdidos]

[mys0ulhurts]

I just did the math, 70% of my 17 therapy sessions I’ve had over the course of a year I have been moderately to severally depressed. No wonder I still feel like dying…

[mys0ulhurts]

It’s really amazing that you can be dying inside in a room full of people, or around your loved ones all day. No one notices, would they notice if I was gone?

[mys0ulhurts]

I get comments on my public Facebook “are you ok?” That shits tame compared to my tumblr, this is like a sacred space. I feel so free, free to just dive into my depression, free to trigger, free to accept my pain.

[qquiinnyy]

my toxic trait is that whenever something goes wrong I immediately start contemplating suicide

[mys0ulhurts]

And the days are becoming more frequent

[violet-amphetamine]

[mys0ulhurts]

Every day

[cxrridraftz]

i trigger myself cause i feel like my disorders aren’t real…

[mys0ulhurts]

Omg THIS, I love this site so much

[yugen-post]

Mi mood:

[mys0ulhurts]

Good night

[mys0ulhurts]

I think this is the only corner on the internet I feel safe telling you how I feel. No judgment, you understand. On those days when you just feel like you can't go on, you don't want to go on.

[the-moon-whisperer]

[mys0ulhurts]

And all the reasoning and cognitive behavioral therapy can't convince me otherwise

[nyctofilic]

[mys0ulhurts]

If I could still feel pride, I would be, I can feel pride for you though, I'm proud of you!