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The Batfam, Classic Novel Quote Edition

Bruce Wayne: “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” –Emma

Dick Grayson: I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.” –Frankenstein

Jason Todd: “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” –Alice in Wonderland

Tim Drake: “I am the last and highest court of appeal in detection.” –Sherlock Holmes, The Sign of the Four

Damian Wayne: “Talk not to me of blasphemy, man; I’d strike the sun if it insulted me.” –Moby Dick

Cassandra Cain: “Action is eloquence.” –Coriolanus

Barbara Gordon: “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” –Paradise Lost

Stephanie Brown: “Not being heard is no reason for silence.” –Les Miserables

Alfred Pennyworth: “It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.” –The Time Machine

freegiftjones

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

chicknparm

the-quasar-hero

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

toddsolondz

bad nightwing comic: oh brother, this bludhaven stuff is getting prettyy hectic! good thing i have my loving family i can rely on. sure, we’ve had our ups and downs, but we all can unite behind one goal: making the world a better place. i was raised by batman to be even better than he was, and to do it with a smile on my face! i’m donating all of my money to charity and building a sculpture of my dead butler in the middle of the city

good nightwing comic: okay dick now hit titans tower

aphractal2

physical manifestations of health bar?

borntoabide

Honey (mutuals) I’m home! (logged in)

allthingswhumpyandangsty

no, you cannot report the most disgusting and shockingly vile fanfic on ao3. ao3 will not do anything about the fic, because ao3 explicitly allows it to exist on their platform.

being completely and utterly against censorship is the main core principle of ao3.

ao3 was created specifically to host and give a platform to fics that were banned on other platforms.

therefore the most disgusting and shockingly vile fanfic you find is the exact reason why ao3 was created in the first place.

here’s the list of things you need to know about ao3 if you’re new to the platform

prokopetz

It's extremely funny that there have been multiple writers in multiple mediums who've been allowed to write Wolverine from the X-men who clearly had no idea what a wolverine is and assumed it was a fancy word for "wolf", and at no point did any of the literally dozens of other people involved in bringing their writing to life see fit to challenge this assumption.

bauliya

I love the x-men so much because that's just what leftist infighting is like! that's literally all it is! xavier is a sellout and they all hate him but he's the only one with any money. everyone complains about "they keep switching sides and dating each other it's so fucking confusing" like my dudes have you never been a part of any socialist organisation, ever. then people will go "magneto is so strong how has he not killed a bunch of teenagers" HE DOESN'T WANT TO KILL THEM! this started in a goddam basement over coffee he does not want to hurt them he just wants them to shut up and listen and will fling cars to do so

weissguertena

runawaymarbles

Magneto one drink in: I love Charles but hes such a kiss-ass, we don’t need to be FRIENDS, we just need mutual aid communities and to be left alone

Professor X one drink in: what the fuck is his self sustaining mutant community going to do for all the mutants born to human parents, which is MOST OF THEM, he’s so gay he’s forgotten how babies are made and I want to kiss his stupid face

srosehh

people who write fics. how do you feel about comments on super old ones you wrote like 2+ years ago

cha-melodius

Bringing this out of the tags:

A fic written 2 years ago is NOT OLD. Two years is nothing. Two years ago was yesterday.

Also I don't care if a fic is 10 years old. Leave those comments!! Even if you think the author isn't active, or moved on from the fandom, I promise you it will make them smile.

texasdreamer01

ellowynthenotking

I commented on a fic that was 11 years old, and there was already a response by the time I got up the next morning. Comment on the fics, please, comment on them, I promise it'll make the author's day either way

vashtijoy

I got a comment on a fic of mine this week that just read "TWO THOUSAND AND NINE?"

I replied to it within seconds, of course. someone commented on my fic

tonyglowheart

As @pentapoda put it in this post:

(transcript: Every time someone comments on my old fic, i feel like I'm an old actor getting paid residuals. Appreciate you, old-fic-commenters. Key source of emotional income, tbh.)

allthingswhumpyandangsty

I don't think people who come from wattpad after the purge and now want ao3 to have its own official app understand that one of the main reasons behind the recent wattpad purge that drove them to ao3 was due to pressure from appstore demanding wattpad to be more strict and follow appstore's policy. wattpad complied in order for its app to be able to remain on appstore. thus the wattpad purge.

ao3 doesn't have an app because for it to have an app, appstore will have to approve it first. and if, hypothetically, ao3 needs appstore to approve it, it will also have to abide by appstore's pro-censorship stance and start banning dark and taboo fics, which is against its own core principle of being completely against censorship.

ao3 doesn't need an app. it works more than fine without an app. the reason ao3 can allow dark and taboo fics, the reason it can allow the most disgusting and shockingly vile fics, and be completely against censorship is because it doesn't need appstore's approval. it stands on its own as a non-profit organization with functioning site and a team of lawyers protecting its platform, its users, and every single fanwork on its platform.

everybody say thank you ao3

here's the list of things you need to know about ao3 if you're new to the platform

elizmanderson

my favorite thing about reading The Three Musketeers is the way Alexandre Dumas stops occasionally after one of his heroes does something kinda scandalous (i.e., all the characters' mistresses are married women) to remind you that morals back in the 1620s were VERY DIFFERENT and everything his heroes do was totally fine according to the morals of "that gallant time" even if we may find them terrible and scandalous in this more enlightened period of 1844

it reminds me of reading The Decameron in college, even though The Decameron was set more or less in what was modern day for its time (unlike The Three Musketeers which is more a historical action/adventure novel). because like the stories are told within a narrative frame of these young nobles fleeing the Black Plague together, but gasp! the nobles are young men and women traveling together with no chaperon!

so there's a whole author's note from Giovanni Boccaccio explaining that you must understand, morals were loosened because everyone was more worried about dying from the plague than what the young people were doing! he's not condoning this sort of behavior! it's just that sometimes this happened because of the plague and should not be taken as a commentary on his own views!

...which sadly makes me think of how authors today are assumed to be condoning morally questionable things that happen in their books unless they pause the whole narrative to say to the reader, "I don't condone this, though"

but the POINT is

I don't actually know what my point is, I just find it very funny. maybe precisely because it's sadly relatable lol

I think what it is is that Boccaccio wrote a whole author's note, whereas Dumas keeps throwing it into the narrative but like SO briefly. it almost feels like an editor was like "alexandre please, I enjoy what you're doing here but you KNOW readers are not going to think your heroes are so heroic when they're constantly making love to married women! please, you must address this!" so Dumas would just throw in half a sentence like "remember, this was totally fine according to the morals of the time. anyway,"

like I think I find it funny bc it feels like Dumas didn't care at all, because he LOVES his Inseparables (particularly Athos) and d'Artagnan, like they can do no wrong, literally everyone is constantly complimenting d'Artagnan all the time, so I'm convinced HE did not find it scandalous or even worry about readers finding it scandalous when they got up to things that were considered morally wrong by his own time

elizmanderson

lmfao in last night's chapters it wasn't even one of his faves, this time it was Lord de Winter walking out of Milady's prison, swearing, "which was not ungentlemanly at the time." it's so funny. it just fucking slays me. Alexandre Dumas pausing the narrative very briefly to say, "man, if only it weren't ungentlemanly to swear NOW I'd do it all the time"

(okay maybe he's not saying that, but in my heart he is)