normalize being a monsterfucker in a top/dom way 😤😤 where are my posts about turning a big bad werewolf into my dumb breeding whore? making a near-immortal vampire beg and crawl at my feet for a taste of my blood? etc etc
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

shark vs the universe
NASA
Sweet Seals For You, Always
will byers stan first human second
𓃗
One Nice Bug Per Day
The Stonewall Inn
Show & Tell

Love Begins
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
d e v o n

bliss lane
No title available
we're not kids anymore.
todays bird
tumblr dot com
EXPECTATIONS

★
Claire Keane
seen from Tunisia
seen from United States

seen from Albania

seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States
seen from Burkina Faso
seen from Austria

seen from Haiti

seen from Austria

seen from Türkiye

seen from France
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from Maldives
seen from Argentina

seen from United States
seen from Mexico

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Singapore
@naevana
normalize being a monsterfucker in a top/dom way 😤😤 where are my posts about turning a big bad werewolf into my dumb breeding whore? making a near-immortal vampire beg and crawl at my feet for a taste of my blood? etc etc
hair practice on Alucard
hero cat fights the power
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
Our Face-Snaked Queen still standing after the battle with Mehrunes Dagon
i wanted to analyze her back tattoo while thinking about her fight, if i drew the front it would probably be too gorey anyway, also i like giving ayem muscle lol still i want to come back to this idea again later
been reading cicero's rant about words being given obscene meanings and i don't think i've ever seen a latin sentence that made me burst into such immediate and violent laughter before
had a couple people be like "i have no idea what this means" so to clarify: the word penis in latin originally meant tail and only later got the sense of, uh. penis. so this is cicero complaining that nowadays all these hooligans are using the word "penis" for naughty purposes
Thank you for this post, I will be showing it to every boomer who ever complains about how the kids these days are butchering the language.
Sketching some bears from the bear cam! 🐻🐟
Castlevania: Nocturne, Season 2 Episode 2: "Angel of Death"
Haven’t been able to be normal since I realised that the move Richter used to save his life and stop him from dying like Julia was Annette’s move, he learnt it from her, she saved him from his worst nightmare and she probably doesn’t even know it.
I’m planning to draw an illustration of them in these outfits as summer comes to an end 🏖☀️
bush haters always have that soulless look in their eyes
Well excuse us for not being willing to forgive him for the War on Terror.
filtering down ao3 results from 14000 to 6 based on a single tag is foul. im sorry none of you are as enlightened as me ig.
normal one. next question.
peer review
Bloke who does fuck all summer
SpongeBob SquarePants: Episode SP-129 (1999)
SP requests