a fallen star
pairing:Ā zhongli x reader
genre:Ā angstober, events
summary:Ā to spend an eternity with him, was something you could only hope fate was kind enough to grant you in your next life.
word count:Ā 1.7k
a/n: i love archon zhongli smsm, im sorry to all the guizhong lovers for making her evil, but it's for plot purposes alr :( lwk ended up rewriting this like 3 times cus i didn't feel like it was good enough LMAO
when guizhong was there, morax barely spared a glance towards you. her beauty and skill easily outshone yours, rendering you a mere shadow in her presence. it made your heart ache with sadness. she was the sun, you were the moon, silently beautiful.
they were comfortable, guizhong laughing daintily at a joke morax made, hand placed on moraxās arm. she held his attention, like she always did.
ā...what do you think, [name]?ā the sudden question startled you from your thoughts as you blinked and smiled apologetically.
āsorry, i was lost in my thoughts.ā your own voice sounded dull, not tinkling and pleasant on the ears like guizhongās.
moraxās amber eyes swept over yours, picking up the dejection in your posture, how you seemed uncomfortable, every muscle tense, as though you were ready to flee at any moment.
āi was just considering some new activities we could introduce for the upcoming lantern rite.ā guizhong piped up, cheerfulness lacing her tone.
morax nodded in agreement, āguizhongās ideas were innovative, as expected from the goddess of dust.ā he praised.
of course, guizhong would be praised for her brilliant ideas. she was the perfect goddess, flawless in every way. unlike you, whose body was adorned with imperfections, from battles with the enemies of war and your own inner demons.
standing next to her felt like standing next to the sun, bright and warm, while you were the moon, unnoticed, but trying your best. thinking back, you realised that it was a long time since morax glanced at you the same way he looked at guizhong.
to him, you were the reliable goddess of strategy, someone he could always trust to have his back. in his eyes, you were his world, the one who hung up the stars and kept the world turning.
like stone, his faith in you was immovable, he trusted your words and plans for the archon war, to train and teach xiao. but guizhong, she held a different type of beauty, her presence commanded attention, her creations and innovations new and intriguing. he found himself spending more time and attention on guizhong, pushing you aside.
like stone, he was dense. if he had known earlier, had accepted his own feelings and understood why, when he was lost in the sea of people at a festival, his eyes searched for you, how your touch sent sparks of electricity across his skin, then this, all this, couldāve been avoided.
poor cloud retainer. she pitied herself. how did she, the clever, unparalleled adepti, become chained down by two idiots for friends? it was clearer than day that the two of you harboured feelings for each other, but how did neither of you realise.
it was time for her to be the perfect wingwoman and start her matchmaking career earlier than anticipated, before she lost the chance.
the tea had been poisoned. from the faint curve of guizhongās lips, her eyes, alert and watching as you downed the cup she had given you, it was so obvious a five-year old could guess.
but you were preoccupied, the slip of paper your messenger pigeon delivered sat on your desk, strewn about with papers on war strategies and your mind racing through all the reasons why he wrote that message.
ācome meet me at the pavilion balcony. xiao will come find you.ā
xiao escorted you along the path, the two of you discussing his training, for morax had entrusted you, the goddess of strategy, to be his teacher.
the terrain to the pavilion was difficult, you found yourself panting for breath. halfway up the mountain, the path began to twist and turn under your feet, sweat beading on your forehead. you tripped, feet stumbling over the stones of the path, each step weighing down on your feet.
xiao reached out, brows furrowed in concern.
āis everything ok, shÄ«fu?ā xiaoās quiet voice cuts through the ringing in your ears.
you lean against the stone face, shaking your head.
āi must be too tired.ā you assure him, though your voice was tight with pain. āyou little rascal and morax, always keeping me on my toes, overloading my desk with work.ā you jested, playfully poking xiao in the side. ālet me rest for a bit and we can keep going.ā
pausing, you take in several shaking breaths. xiaoās golden eyes remained fixed on you, concern reflecting in his amber eyes.
with an effort, you pushed yourself off the stone face, marching onwards. xiao crouched in front of you, offering to carry you on his back. you stubbornly disagreed.
āwhoever heard of a disciple carrying their master?ā you teased, though pain was etched in the lines of your forehead.
xiao hesitated, his eyes flickered between your pale face and the inclining path ahead, but he respected you. thus, he fell into step beside you, ever watchful.
shadows crawled into your vision, blurring the edges and twisting the view of the path. a sudden wave of lightheadedness forced you to your knees, the world spinning sideways. xiaoās quick reaction caught you, leaning you against his shoulder.
āshÄ«fu,ā his tone filled with a rare edge of worry and fear. āyouāre in no condition to continue.ā
you shook your head. āi can do it, itās going to be fine.ā you didnāt know if this was to reassure yourself or xiao, but the sentence repeated itself like a mantra in your head.
the sun slowly set, painting the surrounding mountains with stunning shades of orange and gold, before the deep velvet of night overtook it, stars twinkling in the sky, the moon a watchful guardian.
with xiao supporting your weight, you stumbled up the last few paces up to the pavilion, not noticing the tall figure already present.
your heartbeat raced in your chest at an uncomfortable pace. the hollow thuds rang in your ears, mixing into a clashing melody with the piercing ringing. it made you feel nauseous, bile rising in your throat. you clawed at your chest, hoping it would slow down.
with a heave and a wretch, you threw up, the scarlet liquid splattering on the pristine stone tiles underfoot.
startled by the noise, morax spun around, amber eyes falling upon your trembling figure. xiaoās golden gaze, usually so calm and steady, now radiated desperation a silent plea for help.
for a heartbeat, morax stood frozen with shock. then, without a second thought, his posture of elegance thrown to the wind, morax races towards you.
he dropped to his knees, sinking to the floor, gently cradling you in his arms, gloved fingers gently tapping against your cheek, desperate to keep you awake. his voice trembled as he chanted your name, praying to the stars you would stay with him.
ā[name],ā he murmured urgently. āwake up, look at me.ā
through the fog of pain and exhaustion, you felt the warmth of his embrace radiating, a familiar voice cutting through the pain. his scentāearth, osmanthus and teaā¦no, the scent of homeāwrapped around you like a hug. you squinted up at him, your body feeling impossibly heavy, darkness threatening to bring you under.
āmorax,ā you breathed, chest heaving as you fought for breath. āi cameā¦to see you, as you asked.ā
morax looked at you in confusion. āwasnāt it you who asked to see me?ā he questioned.
confusion surfaced on your face, until you realised who the mastermind behind this meeting couldāve been. you chuckled, clear and bright, gave way to violent coughing, which left you gasping for air.
āit mustāve been cloud retainer then.ā you wheezed, breath struggling. āsly crane,ā you teased, voice devoid of malice or hate. āthis is her way of meddling.ā you manage a wry smile.
you donāt give morax a chance to reply before youāre speaking again, holding a finger to his lips as words gushed from yours like a fountain.
āyou know, iāve liked you for a long time,ā you confessed, your words carrying the weight of years of longing. āso long. iād always hoped that you would look at me the same way, but you never did. seeing you with guizhong all the time breaks my heart.ā
your chest tightened painfully, each breath a battle, but you fought on. āyou mean everything to me, but i dont mean anything to you. i see the way you look at her, i hope she brings you joy.ā
you open your mouth to speak again, but cold droplets that land on your face interrupt you from speaking. with an effort, you tilt your head up, watching the tears cascade down moraxās face.
with a trembling hand, you reach up to wipe his tears. moraxās hand envelops yours, his warm hand contrasting against your cold, clammy skin.
moraxās breath hitched, as his amber eyes searched yours. you open your mouth to say something more, but morax interrupts you.
āno,ā he breathed. āi do love you too, i think,,ā he pleaded, ā if you give me some time, let me work this out slowly.ā
āi want to,ā you breathed out. ābut i dont know if i have time left. iām cold.ā you snuggled deeper into moraxās embrace, uncertainty weighted in your heart. you could feel your life slipping away, the edges of darkness creeping closer.
āim tired.ā you mumble, your voice barely a whisper. āiāll justā¦sleep a little whileā¦ā
āshÄ«fu,ā xiaoās trembling voice broke through the silent night, āplease, donāt leave me yet.ā
you peel your eyes open, turning your head in xiaoās direction, motioning him to come closer. obediently, xiao approaches, tears streaming down his face like a waterfall.
āshĒhĆ”izi,ā you breathed, voice light with teasing. ālisten well to morax, he will be your new master from now on.ā you instructed, hand reaching out to pet his head. āsmile for me?ā you mustered a weak smile that xiao reflected, his own sorrow mingled with hope.
a final bought of violent coughing tore through your body, each one sending pain sparking through your body. blood spilling from your lips. the metallic taste filled your mouth, mixing with the bitter taste of fear as darkness overtook you.
your eyes fluttered shut as the life left your body. in the distance, a star fell out of the sky, its tail trailing like a sorrowful goodbye.
ā[name]?ā morax whispered, voice raw with regret. āopen your eyes, look at me.ā his plea fell on deaf eyes. āyou never heard my response, you canāt leave me yet.ā
āi thinkā¦no, i know, that i do love you.ā
fate was cruel, you had found your forever, but at the wrong time. someday, perhaps fate would grant us a second chance.
footnotes:
1. shÄ«fu (åøå ) ā meaning master or teacher, this word is often used in chinese to express respect to someone who is skilled in a particular area or field.
2. shĒhĆ”izi (å»å©å) ā "shĒ" meaning foolish (å») and "hĆ”izi" meaning child (å©å), this word can be used as a term of endearment, meaning foolish child
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ā§,,,ā§ ( Ģ³ā¢ Ā· ā¢ Ģ³)Ā Ā Ā©Ā curated with love byĀ milkbobatyunĀ 2024 / ć„ ā”
