Shadows And Dust

Prev. amrens-jewelry I do not know who I was before. What I was. Now I am yours. | Fiona | 22 | she/her |

[shanehollandered]

shane hollander appreciation week // day six → a song that reminds me of him and i’m afraid, oh, don’t let find me but you can't outrun yourself, you’ll see and i’m powerless, oh, don’t remind me

[freakeduploser]

okay i can't find it now but one billion mental reblogs to that post about the ways fanon will describe shane and ilya doing the same thing with very very different adjectives

why is shane fighting "bitchy" and "bratty" and when ilya gets to be "enraged" and "scornful" and a whole host of other dominating, aggressive words

i'm seeing a lot of very gendered language between the two of them across a lot of different contexts, and i'm not saying i've never participated in it/used those words but i do think it's something we should be thinking about more

if someone finds the post could you drop it in the replies lowley i really really want to look at it again

[averagesquire]

my contribution to rokucity posting

[shilyas]

Brokeback Mountain (2005) | Heated Rivalry (2025-)

[shanyshko]

shane thinks he is in a gritty determination white male fantasy sports movie and he's actually in a psychological horror. ilya thinks he is in a hallmark tv series and he is in a supernatural horror. shane is like yeah i've just really gotta put pedal to the metal and get this team to the playoffs!! does anyone else feel like they're being watched by the way haha. meanwhile ilya getting starbucks in the suburbs texting his boyfie and comes home and there's a spectre behind him in the mirror he's ignoring.

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

okay so shane and ilya are hosting some of the centaurs and their partner’s for a nice adult dinner party over the summer and they didn’t win the cup this year and worse they lost in the finals. but the team is good and even better the team has his and ilya’s back so they’re hosting and cassie wants to switch from red to white so shane goes up to get her a glass from the cabinet and he sees the pack of china Hayden and Jackie got them from the registry that his mom made him set up and it wasn’t even the set that he wanted not that he really wanted a set until his mom pointed to that one and said, “this will be nice” and he realized he just didn’t want that one but it got added to the registry anyway and he brings it out and thinks about his three cups and how they aren’t just his the cups belong to the metros. The metros have his three cups and the centaurs have zero and the metros don’t deserve it and he carries it over to the kitchen island and wyatt yells out, “hollsy, what you got over there?” and everyone is looking at him and he lifts a gaudy fucking red and gold trimmed china plate out of the box and really considers it before smashing it on the counter and then he drops one on the floor and he’s far enough away from everyone that they wont get hit by the tea cup shattering against the fridge or the bowls breaking in the sink he just wants to see how many different ways they can break and then there’s nothing left in the box and he thanks everyone for coming and goes upstairs and falls asleep as ilya ushers everyone out and sweeps all the broken ceramic pieces up

[hearteyesshane]

shert and ilyernie 🔄

[clytemnestraaa]

shane hollander horny psychology is just “what if everything bad that happens to me actually felt good.” what if my autonomy was stripped away and it felt good. what if my body was objectified and it felt good. what if my desires and wishes were disregarded and it felt good. what if i was ashamed and it felt good. what if i was helpless and powerless and it felt good. like literally all he’s doing sex-wise is finding whatever terrible thing he is constantly forced to experience (total lack of bodily autonomy, lack of agency, lack of control) and going “well what if in this fantasy land i was incapable of being hurt. what if all these bad things happened and it all felt good.” like all his kink shit is just him trying to reclaim ownership over all the shit that’s already happening to him.

[freakeduploser]

this is gonna sound bad at first but just hear me out, i honestly don't love the concept of the Perfect Woke Ottawa Team. like it's sweet and cute and but lowkey it seriously undermines like The Key theme of the series

the existence of the Perfectly Woke Puppy Paradise Farm Centaurs boils shane's entire struggle with his sexuality an issue of the People he surrounded himself with. it's perfectly fine to be a gay hockey player with the centaurs! maybe if he had been drafted to them he would have been able to come out earlier! no no the Real villains of this story are the Commissioner and the Voyageurs and without them everything is great!

which like–no. the real villain of this story is Hockey Culture! that's the whole point of shane's story, that his one true purpose in life, what he loves more than pretty much everything else in the world, fundamentally does not love him back unconditionally. that as long as he is true to himself he will disappoint the sport he has been praying at the altar to all his life.

i just hate this idea of all the denial and sacrifice he put himself through concluding on the point of "it wasn't the right team". like when ilya and him do play together on the centaurs i want it to still be hard in some way. if they are super woke i hope they really show the discrimination they face from the rest of the world. because like, shane and ilya's world should be inalterably changed by being outed, otherwise what was the whole point of everything? they tortured themselves for a decade nonsensically?

[fractally]

I think the thing about alternatives to the Ottawa plan is like. Ilya has depression. Ilya has depression from the first page of the first novel. There is no plan that prevents Ilya from having depression. Ilya's nervous system is wired wrong. Ilya wants to fuck and get drunk and be a visitor in his own life from minute one. Ilya can't be saved. He's fucking got the girl from the ring hunting him down and his depression is gonna haunt him in Boston it's gonna haunt him in Montreal it's gonna haunt him in New York City. He's doomed by the narrative but also he's saved by the narrative because Ilya is gonna be alright. The city doesn't really matter

[unkillable-gays]

Confession: maybe I'm just an autistic asexual lesbian but I actually don't get the joke where everyone's always like "wait but who bottoms between Ilya and Shane?" "Hahaha be serious, obviously Shane bottoms."

I'm NOT talking about whether Shane could theoretically top or not, or the fact that we, as the audience, know that bottoming is Shane's preference.

I'm talking about how, in fics, posts, etc, characters in-universe will say Shane obviously bottoms. Especially if it's, like, a social media fic, and the person saying it is a fan who has never personally met Shane. But tbh even if it's his friends or teammates, who might know him pretty well, but who he's not close with post-coming out, I don't really feel like they would know that. I don't get how anyone would confidently make that assumption without having actually heard Shane (or Ilya) talk about his sex life.

Like idk you don't know his business... Shane has actually put a huge amount of effort into ensuring you don't know his business!

[tiktaalic]

Shane is always like I know the tigers are going to eat my face I have to stay as far away from the tigers as possible all the time or else they’ll eat my face. This is a real concern of mine I think about this a lot. And everyone is like. Shane be so for real. Tigers aren’t going to eat your face. And then tigers eat his face

[clytemnestraaa]

i don’t think shane is ever actually at all afraid that his parents would react really badly to him being gay, like he’s not worried they’re going to call him slurs or cut him off or something. he’s just worried they’ll react by reacting exactly how they do react, by viewing it as a thing to be quietly accepted and managed. as said before shane’s problem is an unfortunate level of clairvoyance in that he is the only one who accurately understands the persecutory nature of the universe he lives in which no other character can see.

[imminences]

CHAR POSTERS. — RENEE WALKER

what you hold onto is less important than the act of holding on itself. it’s so easy to get lost in ourselves and this world. sometimes you need to find your way back one tiny miracle at a time.

[daphnevincent]

carrie soto is back by taylor jenkins reid

and i wonder for a moment why i have spent all my time worried about losing things, when there is so much here

[zofias]

url edits → @williamsherondales‘s previous url ghansey

Richard Gansey III had forgotten how many times he had been told he was destined for greatness.