[angel-mistakes]

Fic where Hayden thinks Shane is asexual and aromantic and tries to be supportive of that, only to get hit by a bus when he learns of FreakAssHornyAssShane

[bipolar4autistic]

he really does think Ilya SO funny

[roperodibujo]

Hollanov sketch i made just for you <3

Follow me on Instagram @/roperodibujo

[cuppydogshane]

crucially important that the centaurs overwhelming response to their first full week of Shane is oh my god ilya why didnt you SAY he was so fucking funny

[vesnuszki]

my low stakes headcanon of the day is that i think Ilya can mimic an american (boston specifically lmfao) accent perfectly he just.. doesn’t give a shit to put in the effort

[waitingtobebroken]

And the first (and only time) he tried that in front of Shane, he refused to kiss him for a week

[vesnuszki]

One morning he’s just sitting in the dining room eating his breakfast and drinking his coffee and decides to just bust it out when Shane asks him sth like „do you know where my gym bag is?” he goes „sweetheart, I think you left it in the car” and Shane looks at him like

[deedala]

[penny-anna]

Do Eridians know they are different colours. I bet Grace's alien kids love finding out what colour they are. It means absolutely nothing to them but they're like :O :O

[penny-anna]

Some of them think he's making this whole 'colour' thing up to mess with them and try to catch him out by asking again on a different day to prove he's just saying random noises but he's like you are still blue buddy and they're like :O :O

[penny-anna]

Like if we met an alien species who had extra senses & they said that some humans felt spingly and some humans felt spoingly I bet we'd all want to know if we were spingly or spoingly humans

[unkillable-gays]

Okay so Shane DOES like Ilya so much and he DOES think Ilya is the hottest coolest smartest bravest funniest person in the world, AND Shane also thinks Ilya is annoying and an asshole, and that's PART OF WHAT HE LIKES!!!

He loves getting to be like "ohmygod I hate you", "you're the fucking WORST 🙄🙄🙄" And, like, yes he's playing it up bc of the little game they play, (#theirgame) but he's also often genuinely irritated or annoyed with Ilya in the moment!

He doesn't actually hate Ilya or think he's "the worst", but he is exaggerating very real feelings of "ughhhh can you STOP??? 😒" or "holy shit you are violating the social contract so hard rn, they are going to kill you with rocks."

(Sometimes Ilya actually is violating the social contract, and sometimes Shane's anxiety means his understanding of it is very skewed. The whole point of humans playing, joking, exploring, etc. is to gather more data on that sort of thing!)

Which is okay!! tbh that's part of why this relationship is so good for Shane! It's a safe space for him to both be pissed off, and see that it's okay to piss others off, and that it not only doesn't repel them from you, it can actually increase the overall amount of love and trust and happiness between you!!!!

Like, this all makes Ilya cooler and hotter to Shane!! It's the very core of the "good girl gets drawn in by the Bad Boy" romance archetype!! (in addition to "anger and arousal are both Excitement") It would be oversimplification to say that trope is all Hollanov is, (as I'm sure Shane would remind me) but it's definitely a big part of their foundation.

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

when people talk about shane and ilya playing and getting to have fun together: 😁👍

when they frame it as boys doing boy things together: ❌🙅⛔️⚠️👎

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

top five hugest most blow up fights shane and ilya have while married? pleaseeeeeeeeeee

this is such a beautiful question thank you so much for coming to me with this 🙏 I think most of their fights are like Ilya needling and Shane going, "Do you ever shut the fuck up?" and then they don't talk for 10 minutes to 2 hours and come back and give half-hearted apologies that are mostly more because they are embarrassed than because they're actually sorry, but here are my top five actual blow up fights not in any actual order:

Ilya is telling Shane about how he used to skip school on his mama's bad days where she wouldn't be able to get out of bed and make her tea and Shane makes a face and says, "You shouldn't have had to take care of her. You were just a kid."

When Shane finds out Ilya let him win at rummy one time (because he didn't want to play the stupid card game, Hollander) and it deteriorates into yelling about if he let him win here, where the fuck else did he let him win?

Reoccurring blow up fights about Ilya going on medication that usually something like "I don't want to rely on pills for the rest of my life, Shane." "Well its that or I fucking uninstall the locks on the bathroom, Ilya!". These get especially worse after Svetlana visits and lets slip the one time Ilya did swallow a bunch of pills and she had to break down the bathroom door and stick her fingers down his throat when they were 15.

They are already having a fight about something (Shane scheduling a sponsorship meeting on a day off, Ilya telling the Centaurs that he can't go out because Shane won't let him, if Shane is being too hard on Haas, etc.) and Ilya goes, "Why don't you just get on your knees, Hollander?" and Shane is immediately madder than he's ever been in his entire life.

Ilya accidentally sends a money transfer to Alexei (for his niece) from their joint account and when Shane asks about it and Ilya's like, "Oh, sorry that was supposed to be from my account." and Shane's like, "I just don't understand how you can send him money. He's just going to fucking snort it."

[bipolar4autistic]

It’s so funny to call hollanov enemies to lovers. Like I get it but also they were never not extremely fond of each other

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[fixielixie]

shane likes ilya so much he thinks he’s so funny that his dick is so huge that he’s so hot and hes a better hockey player than literally every other person shane knows like that’s his Man that’s his Guy. everyone else calls shane boring and they mean it as an insult but shane doesnt care bc when ilya says it he means ur the most fascinating creature i have ever met so thats what boring means to him now it means that he is loved for all of him

[greedydemands]

Shane is like do not buy me a fur coat Ilya is like I’ll kill myself if I don’t buy you a fur coat Shane is like don’t make jokes like that Ilya is like we will be 68 and gay marriage will come to Russia but they will not let me in because i never bought my western wife a fur coat Shane is like if you buy a fur coat you’ll be dead before we can get gay married in Russia and Ilya is like wow…only i can make jokes about my country being homophobic. So you hate Russian lives 😒 and Shane trying not to laugh is like I’m sorry i know it’s sensitive baby and Ilya tells him you can make it up to me by trying on the fur coat getting delivered during time estimate 10-1pm

[deja-b00]

the first couple of practices with boston, ilya keeps hearing his new teammates call out “big red.” he’s still learning english but he knows enough to figure out it’s a nickname. and by the end of the week, he is annoyed and is like, “this is dumb name. not funny at all. you call me ‘red’ because i’m russian? so lame.” and then his teammates have to be like, “no, no dude. ‘big red’ is our nickname for marly because his first name is cliff, which is short for clifford.” and ilya’s like ???

and that’s how the entire team ends up spending their friday night watching clifford the big red dog with 19-year-old ilya rozanov.

[my-castles-crumbling]

cutie - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 411 - click here to see my microfic archive!

As soon as he entered the house, Ilya made a beeline for the kitchen, giving both Yuna and David a hug and greeting them with his customary kiss on the cheek. Shane, of course, recognized the new addition to the living room right away, as he had lived in the house almost his entire life. He decided, however, to keep quiet, eager to see his boyfriend’s reaction. 

It took Ilya until after dinner to notice.

"What–what the fuck is this?" Ilya asked, eyes wide and a small smile appearing on his face as he saw the pictures Yuna had hung in the living room. 

Shane smirked as Yuna grinned, both of them amused by Ilya's reaction. 

“I just updated some of the pictures,” Yuna answered, grinning. “What do you think?” 

“Is…is me?” Ilya asked, as if it wasn't obvious. He stood up from the couch and moved closer to the frame where a picture of five-year-old Ilya playing in the snow was displayed. 

“And so is this cutie over here,” Yuna added, gesturing to another picture hung on the wall a few feet away. 

Beaming, Ilya looked over and saw another photo of him at about middle school age, with his arm slung around a young Svetlana. Ilya turned to Shane, eyes glittering. "You give these to her?" he asked Shane, nearly vibrating with joy. 

"No, it wasn't me. Where would I have gotten them?" Shane replied, though he wished he was the cause of his boyfriend’s huge smile.

"You Hollanders are magic," Ilya replied, his voice almost accusatory as he narrowed his eyes. "You could do anything when you are being stubborn." 

David, who had been sitting on the couch, laughed in agreement. "Absolutely right."

Yuna, however, was too eager to blame the actual source. “Your friend Svetlana stole my number out of Shane’s phone,” she revealed, grinning a little. “She and I have become fast friends.” 

This only made Ilya light up more. "You have been talking to Sveta?" he asked, absolutely beaming. 

Yuna grinned as well. “Yes, she's an absolute delight. She sent me these pictures because I decided I wanted to have both of my sons on the wall.”

At this, Ilya's eyes filled with tears, and Shane felt warmth wash over his body. "Thank you," he mouthed to his mother as Ilya pulled Yuna into a hug. Yuna just beamed. 

"We're inviting Svetlana for Christmas," she announced, and Ilya let out a little whoop of joy. 

[hellohollanov]

7/21/26 - I don't recognize myself without you.