Dark nights, clouded skies,
It looks a little warmer beneath the light.
Loud midnights, drunken lies,
Your laughter still ringing in my ears.
Illusions, delusions,
Glinting dead but deep within your open eyes.
Help lines, worried cries,
I’ve gone ahead and dialed up 911.
Red lights, blue lights,
Alarm horns, harmonized sirens,
Blaring aloud in the distance,
Help is on the way, don’t you worry.
“Are you sure you’re alright miss?
Did you see what happened, before all this?”
Pouring out of a nearby bus,
People crowding around the two of us,
Crowded streets, yells and screams,
Everyone feels like they’re so far away.
Cold wind, fogged breath,
Everyone around me is whispering.
Head low, ears muffled,
Can't hear what they're murmuring.
Concrete tiles, chalk lines,
Traced around where you're cold body lies.
Breathless, thoughtless,
I'm wanting for something to stop this,
Anything at all to numb the ache—
Prescriptions, medications,
Drugs, or whatever the hell it takes.
Silence, sleepless,
Pains deep within my chest, and I allowed to rest?
I think I still have schoolwork.
Sharpened daggers, blunt-edged knives,
Twisting in the flesh of my stomach.
Something weighs down on me,
Late at night, whenever I try to sleep.
Something in my lungs,
A sour taste, thick and sticky on my tongue,
Not the smoke, not the coke, not even dinner's egg yolks,
Nothing to lighten up my head, or hunger,
Something far, far worse, I think I'm gonna choke,
I lie wide awake, in my bed,
My eyes ache, and there’s static in my head,
The walls, close around me,
Eating me alive, saliva on my warm skin.
How could you betray me like this?
I thought you said you'd never do it,
That you’d never go and drop dead.
The police, the detectives,
They’re gonna try and investigate.
But they'll never be able to discriminate,
They should put aside all of their doctorates.
Crime scenes, yellow taped borders,
What clues are there left in the corners,
When it all happened before I could warn her?
“Are you sure you were always here beside her?
Maybe, you arrived a little later…”
Questions asked, no answers passed,
Accusations framed in paper and ink,
Fingers pointing, cameras click.
Red-veined eyes, but I don’t blink,
They won’t spare me a moment to think.
I think I, as well, am on the brink—
Quick, someone go and get me a drink.
Will they tell the truth, and say, that it was a suicide,
That a young woman decided, one night,
That she could do nothing but die?
No, they won’t, they don’t think that makes sense.
So, they’ve framed it up as a tragic homicide.
They're gonna blame it on someone vengeful,
On a heavy hand, an unsheathed knife,
Someone who wanted to end your life.
They'll take your body to the hospital,
Say their gonna check your vitals,
And they're measuring incisions,
Calling this all a bad decision.
And then, they'll find the criminal, someone to blame,
Someone to name in the papers.
But they're not even gonna put 'em on trial,
They're gonna call the criminal “mental.”
It was a slip of the hand, a poor, drunken man,
A kitchen knife, used to end a un-lucky life,
“It was all just accidental.”
Because, they can't afford to blame themselves,
For the situation in which they put us all in.
And it would pain their guilty-conscious,
To blame it on a old innocent.
“The poor girls”, they pretend to care,
“She left her friend alone, and bare.
The night was cold, and they weren't very old.”
You left me, all alone and alive,
Even though, without you, I would've died.
It's not your fault, you weren't the one to decide,
Life was too hard to live.
You'd taken me beneath your wing,
I remember it's shade was dark as night,
It smelled faintly of sweat, yours and mine.
Last night, I finally decided,
I'll grow a set of my own, and I'll take flight.
They'll all never even notice,
The moment in which I left their sight.
I'll leave them pity-pointing their fingers at nothing,
But a corpse hanging in the hallway,
I wonder what they'll call it?
Or maybe they'll try to hide it?
I see now, you were the clever type,
The kind they'd want locked up,
Weighed down under the chains,
An open mouth, a crazy girl, again.
For all this, happens to be a proof,
That they've failed, why, it's the simple truth,
For all they say, and happen to believe,
Their youth aren't living the best of lives.
Game time, nights out, sit around,
Waiting for something interesting to happen out.
Tiktok, instant likes, and replies,
Nothing to care about except dopamine hits.
Never ending nights, late rising morning lights,
Who’ll pay the rent, as the rates are going up?
When will the people have had enough?
“Please, do anything to waste the time.”
They want you to stay obedient, and blind.
“Don't try, to find anything to make change of.”
Surely, it’s all fine, they way it is, right now?
“Please, never see the opportunity,
Don't you ever rise as a community.”
Build up an immunity, to injustice,
It’ll be fine, you’ll see.
Because, though it goes unsaid, it’s undeniable,
Those who dare challenge the government,
Typically end up buried beneath cement.
Train tickets, silent crowds,
Everyone is still waiting for something,
Anything to happen, out and around.
They're tired and bored out of their minds,
They're gonna gnaw through their imaginary binds.
Phone lights, far too bright for the eyes,
Blinding in everyone’s faces,
Wrinkle lines, not from smiles,
“Hurry up 'n get onto the channel!”
News time, strained smiles,
Listen closely, as they list all the atrocities,
Committed by none other than their president.
He acts like a freaking child, “But it’s okay,
He’s making things more affordable!”
“Hold up, incoming commercial break!—”
Forget the lives that they’ve just forsaken,
The morals of army, they're slowly breaking.
The people are watching, and waiting,
Curiosity, and horror in their eyes.
When will you read them the next line?
Quickly now, before they start reading their texts.
Distractions, false tensions,
Wars to cover up all their own crimes,
Headlines, oh, headlines, they’re all composed of lies,
When will the people open their slightly blinded eyes?
Wider, wider, till you can see what’s not alright,
People die everyday, they say,
Nothing new, no empathy to give, none needed,
People pass away, it’s all natural,
Don’t look at the amounts that their bleeding.
Oh, could it possibly be that they couldn't bare to live?
“Surely not”, they look away, impassive.
~ ~ ~
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