★ adult ★ he/him ★ ice age leucrocotta ★
[Avatar description: a drawing of an anthro hyena. His eyes are red, his fur is medium gray with black spots, and his underbelly is light gray. He is wearing ripped jeans, converse, a t-shirt, and kandi jewelry. The background is a rainbow with white stars.]
My blog contains eye strain, leetspeak, and flashing, so it may not be accessible to photosensitive individuals or individuals that use screen readers.
Sometimes I post sexually explicit content intended for adults.
I am neurodivergent, and I have been actively working to reclaim the r-slur as a positive identity label for myself. I do not condone using the r-slur to hurt people, nor do I condone using the r-slur to refer to people who did not consent to it.
If you'd like more information about me and my system, then you can read my main blog @theprismaticsystem's pinned post.
About Me!
★ Name: Joseph
★ Nicknames: Joint, Joe, Joseph Sepulchre, Joseph Spectre
★ Age: 20s
★ Gender: trans man
★ Pronouns: he/him/his
★ Likes: rare steak, sushi, cold weather, Halloween, goth rock, Joji, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Idrk... I was originally going for pink scene (duh) , and then randomly I threw in some hints of other stuff?? We lost the plot a little but it turned out pretty anyways <33 ♱˚₊‧ x, x
★ neopets wearables try-on
☆ free online music maker
★ fishville simulator
☆ digital pop its
★ papa's games on coolmathgames
☆ background noises for focus
★ old web design museum
☆ online game pony town
★ poptropica
☆ classic animal jam
★ flash transformers games
☆ flash monster high games
★ flash mlp games
☆ flash bratz games
★ flash barbie games
☆ a lot of free online games
★ kid pix studio game
☆ more free online games
★ neopets resources
☆ kirby games
★ online retro games
☆ kirby anime
★ death note
☆ casual desktop game on steam
★ ftp steam games
☆ solitaire
★ puzzle games
☆ color memory game
★ where to watch cartoons (vpn recommended)
☆ more cartoons
★ indie games website
☆ kandi website tutorials and patterns
★ kandi video tutorials
NO, this is NOT a roleplay blog - i'm a fictive. (our main blog is @thevoidmatrix bee tee dubs) some key differences between me and my source: i *don't* have ADHD, i am autistic, and i'm also on the asexual spectrum so just be aware of that kthaaaaaaanks
I'M ALSO TRANSMASCULINE SO I USE HE/HIM/HIS PRONOUNS i'm on the lookout for some cooler ones tho lol
i'm otherkin. i'm a warframe, a robot, an android - whatever you wanna call my fleshy metal chassis! i LOOOOOOVE bein' a warframe, oh my sol. and i love computers and video games, and i'm teachin' myself C++ so that me and my pals can make a video game together :3 (@necrocotta is doin' the art for it!!)
i also love exercising and talking about nutrition (i'm currently in a cut RIGHT NOW), so if that stuff bothers you, then my blog may not be for you and that's okay!! you can blacklist #amir's health junk if you don't wanna see it tho
I LOVE WATCHING MOVIES and i've started to post movie reviews. you can find the way that i rate them HERE AT THIS LINK, and the tag i use is #amir's movie reviews >:3c
hi. so recently we got diagnosed with autism (level one) and adhd (predominantly inattentive)... we knew about us being autistic for a long time now, we just were only self-diagnosed. i... had no clue that we had adhd. it kind of came as a shock to me
im really interested to see what @ji773r8u6 has to say about this the next time he fronts.......... he was over my shoulder the entire time, making sure i was okay since that day i spent most of my time in shock.
ive processed it a little and im starting to see it. the psych said we had slow processing speed and poor working memory compared to our other cognitive skills. i thought that was pretty interesting
i have 3 partners, one of them being a singlet outside of our system (who is not on tumblr), and two of them being my beloved headmates.
Happy Valentine's, Mickey! I love you so much, and you know that. we've been through so much together. you were the first person in our system that i met. it was thanks to you that we realized we were a system. you were with me through some of the worst moments in our life. i know youre not around as much as you used to be... and neither am i, in a way. but i still love you all the same, no matter what you think or what tricks our brain pulls on you. you're my rock and my twin flame. i will always be loyal to you. i will always come home to you. im your dog.
happy Valentine's, Amir!! i know we arent really a traditional partnership but that wont stop me from showering you with valentines day love. whether we're boyfriends, qpps, metamours - whatever! as long as youre with me, friend. heres to a whole year of living sorta side by side! brian cell by brain cell? you know what i mean. :3c
i love you both a lot even if im too scatterbrained to front or give you the love that you deserve
I originally wrote this in order to share my personal perspective with a psychologist that we will be recieving evaluation from soon, but I wanted to share it here, too.
For context, we are currently diagnosed with OSDD and identify as a system. We have self-diagnosed ourself with autism because it is so painfully obvious (like, "playing with our toys by organizing them by color and size as a child" and "meltdown over small changes even as an adult" obvious). We are currently questioning whether or not we have DID and/or ADHD. This is not an invitation to armchair diagnose us. However, you are welcome to share your own thoughts and experiences.
When I am fronting, I usually am aware of the facts of who fronted before me. I'll use Amir (@ji773r8u6) for my examples because he and I have been alternating front quite frequently as of late. If we switch, and I take Amir's place in front, I will usually know that Amir just left. I will know vague specifics of what he said and did. Sometimes, I will be aware of specific things that he said and did that I would relate to, such as a joke, or an experience that feels shared such as eating a food we both enjoy, but not always. However, it does not feel as though I were there. It feels as though Amir's experiences and emotions are separated from mine.
Many people with DID use the car metaphor. For us, it's more like a screen door. Some houses in real life have screen doors that can be opened and closed to allow you to exit or enter the house, while also allowing you to see and hear through the door while it's closed. In our metaphorical home, someone who is fronting is outside of the house, and those who are not fronting are inside of the house. Those who are outside are conscious, able to actively percieve the world around them, and able collect new experiences and memories. Those who are inside are unconscious, unable to actively percieve the world around them as themself, and generally unable to form memories. If someone is inside the house, they can look through the screen door and be able to psuedo-experience what the alters that are outside are experiencing. Through the screen, you can see what happens and hear what was said, but it isn't clear because you're looking through all those tiny holes that even bugs can't fit through. Unless they were to actively open the door, it feels as though the person inside is subconsciously gathering information.
Sometimes, alters who have not fronted in a while appear to have a substantial lack of knowledge of what happened to us that may appear to others as forgetfulness or amnesia. I believe that this may be explained by their lack of proximity to the metaphorical screen door. To continue the metaphor, someone who is on the second floor, asleep in their bed, and resting from a big day outside may not be paying attention to what is going on outside. They are resting, or they simply don't want to be aware. I would personally argue that this is not amnesia because you cannot forget something that you were never present for in the first place. That would be like saying someone forgot what happened at a party that they never attended.
Regardless of where an alter is in relation to the house, there is one thing that typically remains true: we do not share experiences 1:1. If me and Amir were both fronting at the same time, then we would have technically experienced the exact same thing. However, our emotions and way we internalize the experience is completely different. For example, imagine me and Amir were both fronting while we went on a roller coaster at an amusement park. My takeaway from the situation may be, "That was awful. It was really fast and very stimulating, which made me feel overwhelmed and want to cry. I hate roller coasters!" Amir's experience might have been, "That was awesome! It was really fast and very stimulating, which made me feel excited and gave me an adrenaline rush. I love roller coasters!" In this example, we both experienced the same physical sensations (i.e. fast, stimulating), but we experienced different emotions in reaction to said sensations. With this in mind, someone who isn't fronting typically isn't able to discern the exact emotions or experiences of someone who is fronting through the screen door. If I am inside the house watching Amir experience something, then I can only approximate how I would feel in that situation, and I wouldn't know how he felt unless I assumed or asked.
We can communicate factual information to one another, but those that are inside of the house appear to have limited consciousness. When I am fronting and someone who isn't fronting is talking to me through the screen door, I have noticed that they may function at a more base level of self. They may speak or react in ways they would not if they were fronting. It can be more emotional and subconscious – passive as opposed to active. I believe this may be in part to not being outside of the metaphorical house; they are unable to fully experience reality and the 5 senses in order to ground themself. As such, emotions felt when you are inside of the house can sometimes feel more raw than when you're outside of the house. You may not actively form concrete memories of these raw emotions since you're not fully conscious, though.
As for myself, I feel as though in this metaphor I am a guard dog. I stay by the screen door in case I am needed in order to defend the house. Whether I am indoors or outdoors during my guarding is irrelevant because I can be outdoors in an instant, raising my hackles at anything percieved as a threat. If I am indoors, then this reaction may be subconscious. I may react to things that are not actually threats in reality. Other alters may take me outside with them in order to protect themself, mask, and appear more like a singlet. Sometimes it may appear as though I am always present and conscious, but I am not, as I do have small gaps in my memory from sometimes sleeping inside of the house.
