🦴🥩❤️ adult 🐾 he/it/pup/one 🐾 ice age leucrocotta ❤️🥩🦴 [Avatar description: a photograph of a spotted hyena in a golden field eating a bloody carcass. End avatar description.] [Header description: a photograph of a large array of meats, including steak, salami, ham and sausage, that covers the entire header from top to bottom with no gaps. End header description.]
I do not tolerate ableism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, Islamophobia, racism, sanism, sexism, transmisogyny, transphobia, or any other kind of bigotry, systemic oppression, or discrimination in my life nor on my blog.
I aim to respect beings from all walks of life – every culture, ethnicity, gender, physical or mental ability, religion, and/or sexuality.
I am anti-contact and pro-fiction.
I unfollow and block freely. Don't take it personally.
About Me!
Name: Joseph Sepulchre
Nicknames: Joint, Joe, necrocotta, 🖤
Age: 21+
Gender: trans man
Pronouns: he/him/his
Likes: rare steak, sushi, cold weather, Halloween, goth rock, Joji, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
i think i may not just be anti-corporal punishment, but anti-punishment in general. i dont know that punishment actually does anything productive.
sometimes, i think back on arguments that i had with ex-friends, and my mind thinks of ways that i could punish them. ways that i could "make them pay" for how they treated me. but, i know logically that i am just projecting. i understand that our arguments arose from miscommunication, and ultimately lack of support on both ends. punishment wont do anything to solve that. in fact, it would only serve to momentarily make me feel better, and potentially make life worse for those people. it wouldnt be right. it would be healthier for me to express my rage in other ways, such as writing fiction, making art, unpacking what happened with a therapist, or... literally anything but repressing it, really.
i think im suspicious of any person who thinks someone should "pay" for their transgressions. that isnt how people learn and grow. enacting revenge only makes it to where the person enacting revenge feels better. its cathartic, yes, but i dont know that its healthy.
this of course excludes situatuons involving self-defense. i think everyone deserves the right to defend their body, mind, and community. but punishments typically go beyond self-defense. re: there is a difference between not tolerating intolerance, and enacting cruelty for cruelty's sake.
NO, this is NOT a roleplay blog - i'm a fictive. (our main blog is @thevoidmatrix bee tee dubs) some key differences between me and my source: i *don't* have ADHD, i am autistic, and i'm also on the asexual spectrum so just be aware of that kthaaaaaaanks
I'M ALSO TRANSMASCULINE SO I USE HE/HIM/HIS PRONOUNS i'm on the lookout for some cooler ones tho lol
i'm otherkin. i'm a warframe, a robot, an android - whatever you wanna call my fleshy metal chassis! i LOOOOOOVE bein' a warframe, oh my sol. and i love computers and video games, and i'm teachin' myself C++ so that me and my pals can make a video game together :3 (@necrocotta is doin' the art for it!!)
i also love exercising and talking about nutrition (i'm currently in a cut RIGHT NOW), so if that stuff bothers you, then my blog may not be for you and that's okay!! you can blacklist #amir's health junk if you don't wanna see it tho
I LOVE WATCHING MOVIES and i've started to post movie reviews. you can find the way that i rate them HERE AT THIS LINK, and the tag i use is #amir's movie reviews >:3c
hi. so recently we got diagnosed with autism (level one) and adhd (predominantly inattentive)... we knew about us being autistic for a long time now, we just were only self-diagnosed. i... had no clue that we had adhd. it kind of came as a shock to me
im really interested to see what @ji773r8u6 has to say about this the next time he fronts.......... he was over my shoulder the entire time, making sure i was okay since that day i spent most of my time in shock.
ive processed it a little and im starting to see it. the psych said we had slow processing speed and poor working memory compared to our other cognitive skills. i thought that was pretty interesting
i have 3 partners, one of them being a singlet outside of our system (who is not on tumblr), and two of them being my beloved headmates.
Happy Valentine's, Mickey! I love you so much, and you know that. we've been through so much together. you were the first person in our system that i met. it was thanks to you that we realized we were a system. you were with me through some of the worst moments in our life. i know youre not around as much as you used to be... and neither am i, in a way. but i still love you all the same, no matter what you think or what tricks our brain pulls on you. you're my rock and my twin flame. i will always be loyal to you. i will always come home to you. im your dog.
happy Valentine's, Amir!! i know we arent really a traditional partnership but that wont stop me from showering you with valentines day love. whether we're boyfriends, qpps, metamours - whatever! as long as youre with me, friend. heres to a whole year of living sorta side by side! brian cell by brain cell? you know what i mean. :3c
i love you both a lot even if im too scatterbrained to front or give you the love that you deserve
I originally wrote this in order to share my personal perspective with a psychologist that we will be recieving evaluation from soon, but I wanted to share it here, too.
For context, we are currently diagnosed with OSDD and identify as a system. We have self-diagnosed ourself with autism because it is so painfully obvious (like, "playing with our toys by organizing them by color and size as a child" and "meltdown over small changes even as an adult" obvious). We are currently questioning whether or not we have DID and/or ADHD. This is not an invitation to armchair diagnose us. However, you are welcome to share your own thoughts and experiences.
When I am fronting, I usually am aware of the facts of who fronted before me. I'll use Amir (@ji773r8u6) for my examples because he and I have been alternating front quite frequently as of late. If we switch, and I take Amir's place in front, I will usually know that Amir just left. I will know vague specifics of what he said and did. Sometimes, I will be aware of specific things that he said and did that I would relate to, such as a joke, or an experience that feels shared such as eating a food we both enjoy, but not always. However, it does not feel as though I were there. It feels as though Amir's experiences and emotions are separated from mine.
Many people with DID use the car metaphor. For us, it's more like a screen door. Some houses in real life have screen doors that can be opened and closed to allow you to exit or enter the house, while also allowing you to see and hear through the door while it's closed. In our metaphorical home, someone who is fronting is outside of the house, and those who are not fronting are inside of the house. Those who are outside are conscious, able to actively percieve the world around them, and able collect new experiences and memories. Those who are inside are unconscious, unable to actively percieve the world around them as themself, and generally unable to form memories. If someone is inside the house, they can look through the screen door and be able to psuedo-experience what the alters that are outside are experiencing. Through the screen, you can see what happens and hear what was said, but it isn't clear because you're looking through all those tiny holes that even bugs can't fit through. Unless they were to actively open the door, it feels as though the person inside is subconsciously gathering information.
Sometimes, alters who have not fronted in a while appear to have a substantial lack of knowledge of what happened to us that may appear to others as forgetfulness or amnesia. I believe that this may be explained by their lack of proximity to the metaphorical screen door. To continue the metaphor, someone who is on the second floor, asleep in their bed, and resting from a big day outside may not be paying attention to what is going on outside. They are resting, or they simply don't want to be aware. I would personally argue that this is not amnesia because you cannot forget something that you were never present for in the first place. That would be like saying someone forgot what happened at a party that they never attended.
Regardless of where an alter is in relation to the house, there is one thing that typically remains true: we do not share experiences 1:1. If me and Amir were both fronting at the same time, then we would have technically experienced the exact same thing. However, our emotions and way we internalize the experience is completely different. For example, imagine me and Amir were both fronting while we went on a roller coaster at an amusement park. My takeaway from the situation may be, "That was awful. It was really fast and very stimulating, which made me feel overwhelmed and want to cry. I hate roller coasters!" Amir's experience might have been, "That was awesome! It was really fast and very stimulating, which made me feel excited and gave me an adrenaline rush. I love roller coasters!" In this example, we both experienced the same physical sensations (i.e. fast, stimulating), but we experienced different emotions in reaction to said sensations. With this in mind, someone who isn't fronting typically isn't able to discern the exact emotions or experiences of someone who is fronting through the screen door. If I am inside the house watching Amir experience something, then I can only approximate how I would feel in that situation, and I wouldn't know how he felt unless I assumed or asked.
We can communicate factual information to one another, but those that are inside of the house appear to have limited consciousness. When I am fronting and someone who isn't fronting is talking to me through the screen door, I have noticed that they may function at a more base level of self. They may speak or react in ways they would not if they were fronting. It can be more emotional and subconscious – passive as opposed to active. I believe this may be in part to not being outside of the metaphorical house; they are unable to fully experience reality and the 5 senses in order to ground themself. As such, emotions felt when you are inside of the house can sometimes feel more raw than when you're outside of the house. You may not actively form concrete memories of these raw emotions since you're not fully conscious, though.
As for myself, I feel as though in this metaphor I am a guard dog. I stay by the screen door in case I am needed in order to defend the house. Whether I am indoors or outdoors during my guarding is irrelevant because I can be outdoors in an instant, raising my hackles at anything percieved as a threat. If I am indoors, then this reaction may be subconscious. I may react to things that are not actually threats in reality. Other alters may take me outside with them in order to protect themself, mask, and appear more like a singlet. Sometimes it may appear as though I am always present and conscious, but I am not, as I do have small gaps in my memory from sometimes sleeping inside of the house.
•I know there's been a lot of talk about fighting back against racism and discrimination in the alterhuman community (which is statistically a mostly white online community). Though I cannot stress enough that most of the racism I and other poc folks in the alterhuman community see is not your average gun toting, right wing extremist racism. It's racism that most white people wouldn't see as a real issue, it's racism that flies under the radar because most other than those targeted by it don't see an issue with it.
•I've been the target of both intentional racism and what many white people would call """"unintentional"""" racism. The latter is much more prominent in the alterhuman community, and what I have been the target of the most here. I've mainly retreated to my own poc alterhuman server as a result of being mistreated in this manner, the wider alterhuman community is not a safe space for poc folks unless white folks recognize and call out racial discrimination that flies under the radar. I don't feel that the wider alterhuman community is a safe space for my being as an indigenous mesoamerican and ethnically jewish individual. I don't even talk about being the latter much because being two things the current political climate really hates is downright dangerous for my being and makes my being a major active target. The fear is real. Though anyways.
•Racism that I have seen more commonly these days in the alterhuman community are as follows, (I'll explain these as well in case the initial statements aren't already self explanatory).
•Bodily white people using words like "mutt", "mixed breed", "savage", and "half breed" to describe themselves or their 'types. (These are words that have been used to maliciously target people of color, myself included. People claim to use those words in non offensive ways, 'savage' can sometimes be used in non offensive ways, however words like these have an incredibly dark history for folks of color, and are used in a negative, racist context towards us. I have been called all of these things with the intent of being dehumanized and harrassed. They're not to be used lightly, and they're certainly not for white people, who have never been the target of these words, to use).
•Thinking dehumanization and being called an animal is always a good and positive experience in the otherkin sense. (It's not for everyone, especially those who have been the target of racially charged dehumanization, who have negative experiences with being seen more as an animal than as a human being with rights and feelings. There's a positive way for someone like my being to be called an animal, and there's a negative way. Sometimes I can't tell what's positive and what's negative. I don't want to be dehumanized, despite being nonhuman, that's not a positive experience for my being. I don't want to be called an animal by others, and don't assume that many poc have a positive experience with being called that either).
•Arguing with and/or dogpiling alterhumans of color for bringing up problems about certain slurs, concepts, imagery, and beliefs. (This has happened to my being on more than one occasion, specifically regarding the word 'savage', a derogatory term used to target people of color, though used a lot to dehumanize indigenous peoples. Some think that just because it decribes their kintype, it's always an okay word to use. If someone doesn't want you to use an offensive term around them, don't go 'erm, actually!!!!!' and proceed to defend your right to use it around that individual. If someone doesn't want you to talk about something racially charged around them, don't fucking talk about it, and certainly don't argue with them about semantics. Leave it be).
•Blatant cultural appropriation, such as claiming to be entities from closed cultures. (One example is the unspeakable spirit, I'll call it the wendy's double bacon and egg cheeseburger for laughs. Spirits from closed cultures do not interact with people other than those of direct lineage to said culture. I've seen a lot of Native American and Voodoo practices, concepts, and entities stolen by white people who just don't care. They just like they aesthetic and the look, it's incredibly shallow. Respect the beliefs and wishes of people from closed cultures, or you're just a fucking racist, simple as that. Quit pretending to be something that you will never be).
•Claiming that your kintype is your 'spirit animal' or that you work with 'spirit animals'. (I don't know what's up with a lot of white alterhumans and their obsession with the 'spirit animal' concept. First of all, "spirit animal" isn't a real indigenous term, it was a word made up by some idiot white dude who didn't understand sacred indigenous relations with animals. Second of all, if you're not indigenous, you don't get to have a 'spirit animal', don't pretend to have a native american connection to animals and use a word that wasn't created by indigenous peoples. You can have connections with animals and animal spirits, though don't pretend that connection is something from indigenous cultures).
•Claiming to be the subject of an indigenous person's reverence because of your kintype. (I have seen this around, I have seen bodily white people making these claims, and no, you are not the subject of our reverence, fuck off. We don't 'honor' white people, you're not involved in our ceremonies, you're not the subject of our prayers, and you're not sacred. The very thought of white people genuinely thinking this makes my stomach turn as someone who actively participates in indigenous culture. You're just an ignorant, self centered pos if you think indigenous people should honor you).
•There are other types of under the radar racism in the community that I haven't covered, and feel free to point other things out, though none of the above is okay. None of the above should be present in spaces.
•Virtue signaling is not enough. Making posts online that gain some traction is not enough. Real, lasting change needs to happen on the wider community level and the smaller community level. Call out any kind of racism whenever you see it happening, remove offenders from communities and don't try to defend their racist behavior. When a person of color has a concern about something that may be racially offensive, fucking LISTEN and don't automatically think that their feelings are invalid. White folks in the community need to be more mindful of what they say, racism should not be happening in this community to begin with, though it happens because it flies under the radar, because privileged people aren't mindful of what they say, because it's just 'not a big deal' to those who aren't the targets.
•Don't say "It's not that deep" when someone brings up that something is offensive towards people of color, especially if you're not the one being targeted by a statement, an action, or an image. That kind of racist thought process is what makes many poc alterhumans feel unsafe in majority white alterhuman spaces. That kind of shitty mentality is why unchecked racism is allowed to thrive in some alterhuman spaces, that shitty mentality is why many poc alterhumans don't feel safe around majority white spaces, that shitty mentality is why you don't see my being around large alterhuman spaces anymore.
•Yes, some of my words are aggressive. Yes, I am vauging at racists in the community. Yes, I am angry. Because I and many other folks of color have been essentially pushed out of the wider alterhuman community because of racist behavior, because our feelings weren't considered worth hearing, because community admins prioritized their favorites and best buddies over the concerns of people of color. I don't get to be a real part of big communities anymore because of anti indigenous racism. I don't get to be a real part of big communities anymore because of antisemitism. I don't get to be a part of many big communities anymore because some would rather see my being as the angry latina stereotype rather than confront their own racism and make a real change. I don't even get to be loud and proud about being as mixed as I am because I'm the active target of right wingers and an entire government administration that would do anything to see my being beaten and deported.
•People like myself are angry right now, we're being targeted right now, some of poc are in downright dangerous and life-threatening situations. The LAST thing alterhumans of color want to see right now is racism in a community that's supposed to be safe, that's supposed to accept us with open arms. Being the target of racism in communities that are supposed to be safe, when there's already a viscious political climate targeting us is a horrific betrayal. I'm not here to sugarcoat this, I'm not here to be nice about racism, I'm not here to gently walk you through things you should already know, I'm here to raise awareness. If you're intimidated by my words, if you're intimidated by my reality as a mixed indigenous person, or if you're even angry at my words, then maybe you need to reevaluate whether you're an actual ally to people of color or not.
•I just want to see change in this community. I just want myself and other alterhumans of color to feel welcome in the wider alterhuman community again. So many of my poc friends have brought up instances of racism they've faced in the alterhuman community, and it's infuriating that they were targeted in such a way. Real change isn't going to happen unless a community wide shift happens. That change isn't going to happen until white folks in the community really start minding what they say. That change isn't going to happen unless individual communities take a much harder stance on racism. Take my words how you will, look at my being how you will, hate my being if you must. Just make a real change so myself and other poc alterhumans can feel safe here again.
i would love to be an activist. "fighting the good fight" so to speak. but im disabled and doing that is exceedingly hard. i recognize that simply posting on social media about different issues can be considered a form of "slacktivism" and tumblr is a place with many conflicting opinions and misinformation, so i try not to come here specifically for activism and reading about politics.
one of our new year's resolutions is to read 12 books. i have a wishlist of books that id love to buy and read. paperback, probably, for most of them so that i can more easily annotate them. i think a form of personal activism, for me, is just going to be educating myself and unpacking all those unconscious biases. one less ignorant person in the world is small, but its better than completely giving up just because my disability makes it hard.
a lot of the books i want to read are about anti-racism, including one of the ones i ordered, but i would love to hear book recommendations from whoever is reading this. the subject matter could be about anything, really. anti-racism, feminism, especially transfeminism or combatting transmisogyny, and books about autism and ADHD are ones im looking for in particular right now.
I feel like a lot of alterhumans would find kink to be a great expression of their 'types, if people stopped being weird about sexuality and kink. Kink/BDSM is always an 18+ activity due to the nature of power dynamics, but sex is not required.
Want to be treated like an animal? Literally any animal, mythical creature, or otherwise? Petplay has your back. Petplay encompases anything that would be "animal roleplay." Want to be treated like a horse? Ponyplay (one of the oldest forms of petplay with a long history). Or want to be a prized show dog? Puppyplay. A beautiful bird treated as a treasure and pampered with the finest treats, or a falconry hawk? A zoo animal being taught tricks for an animal-show? Want to be a dragon who is doted on and given offerings so you don't burn down the nearby village? Yup, all petplay. You can make your petplay dynamic be anything you want.
Objectkin? There is a whole kink specifically about being treated as an object. And the Dom in the dynamic will just treat you like a literal object. You can be a table, or a rug, or a lamp, or anything. You can be your beautiful object-self and have others see you that way as well.
Are you a wolf? Big cat? Werecreature? Paleotherian? Anything with a prey drive or a desire to chase? Primal play can fill that niche. Pursuit, takedown, capture. Stalk and hunt your prey, show off your skills as an apex predator. - Alternatively, the preds need prey to chase. If you're a rabbit, a deer, coyote being chased by a LGD, show how good you are at avoiding getting caught. Show how you fight back and escape.
Fictionfolk? Archetrope? Most-any-kintype? Roleplay might be for you. This doesn't even need to involve kink dynamics, you can just roleplay or LARP for fun. Dress up and behave like a knight or prince. Embody your fictomere, maybe do cosplay. Dress up like a faery and hold a feast for your friends/court. Roleplay has endless possibilities, both sfw and sexy.
The kink/BDSM community is a space that is familiar with the odd and unordinary. Identification outside of humanity is not abnormal. Lifestyles, dynamics, and different ways of self expression are normal. Having a sense of Self that is deeply intertwined with the socially-queer is commonplace. I'm a firm believer that there is a lot of overlap between alterhuman experiences, and kink experiences/dynamics. There are a lot more similarities then people realize, and considering kink/BDSM as an avenue of self expression can be a very rewarding experience.
>If I may add - there's also kinks which involve being {programmed} and then instructed to do tasks for those robots/androids out there which would find that euphoric_
This is your reminder that black goths and afro goths are valid in their skin, they do not have to change their hair texture or paint their face white in order to be considered goth! Every black feature on you is absolutely gorgeous, do not let anyone tell you that you are ‘white washed’ for doing something you love and being you who are. Wear your skin with pride and do not let anyone tell you it’s not beautiful.
more on my personal adherence to satanism. i do find myself guided by the seven tenets, and id like to read more about the history of non-theistic satanism. although i do enjoy the idea of autotheistic satanism
in practice, this looks like keeping my altar, praying to myself, and performing rituals.
my altar is actually my bathroom sink. i can see myself - god, satan - in the mirror. before i pray, i make sure my bathroom is clean. the prayers themselves arent anything special. theyre positive affirmations, really. the idea behind it is to give myself something to believe in - purpose. the science behind it is that setting one's intention is integral to achieving goals. how you set that intention can obviously be done anyway youd like. i use semiprecious stones and a little bit of witchcraft.
i enjoy doing it, and some of the other alters in our system have started enjoying doing it, too. which is really cute to me because im goth and they are soooo not at all
satanism to me also means admitting mistakes, compassion, forgiving myself, and fighting for my and others' freedom. not much has changed, although i find myself more open-minded. i view many people that others view as disgusting, reprehensible monsters, as... reuglar people. we all make mistakes, and we all deserve the chance to rectify them.
does anyone else ever feel "trapped" by their theriotype?
i know i am a hyena, but sometimes it feels like i want to branch out and be other things, too. maybe this is my nature as a shapeshifter and a cryptid, though, or has something to do with us being a system
however, i feel like i cant "grow" beyond being a hyena sometimes
how does one explore their identity as a therian and/or animal alter?
that being said, anytime i have tried to branch out (i.e. draw myself differently, explore other visual representations of myself, consider other theriotypes) i always just come back to being a silly little purple hyena. it's static
does anyone else ever feel "trapped" by their theriotype?
i know i am a hyena, but sometimes it feels like i want to branch out and be other things, too. maybe this is my nature as a shapeshifter and a cryptid, though, or has something to do with us being a system
however, i feel like i cant "grow" beyond being a hyena sometimes
how does one explore their identity as a therian and/or animal alter?
