I created my first Neopets account back in 2004. I was a terrible Neopets player, never had more than a few thousand neopoints to my name. But what I lacked in skills and knowledge of site features I made up for in enthusiasm.
Since then, I’ve played on and off, mostly returning for the Altador Cup. Only Fyora knows how many accounts I’ve created over the years, their login info promptly forgotten the second I got bored. Around 5 years ago, I discovered the community on reddit and discord (and password managers), and I’ve been a daily player since.
Now, one thing you must know about me is that I love lore. A fictional world rich in detail is a puzzle begging me to solve it. So when I learned that the game has an encyclopedia with 296 stories, I knew I had to read them all.
I’m determined to make my way through the ancient behemoth that is the Neopedia, one entry at a time, probably taking things way too seriously along the way.
Index:
Summary: A young Chia is bullied in school by a pack of Kougras. A dark faerie approaches him and offers him power in exchange for a favor in the future. The Chia naively agrees. After the spell, he relishes his newfound power and his soon to come vengeance on his bullies.
Notes:
Being blessed by a dark faerie “taints” you, whatever that means
The dark faerie casts her spell via chanting and arm waving. The light faerie’s blessing in Neopedia #25 didn’t seem to involve any of that
“Dark Faeries are minions of evil itself. They lie in wait to tempt those weak of heart.” - Neopedia #26: A Dark Faerie
Ah yes, dark faeries. I have always been fascinated by the trope of the evil creature, whose only goal is to seed darkness into the souls of otherwise virtuous people. It’s an archetype that is as old and as enduring as storytelling itself. Sure, the characters are fun and all, but what is it about them that drives us to use them over and over again in our stories?
When we first begin learning to separate right from wrong, isn’t it inevitable that our hungry little minds will start asking if we ourselves are right or wrong, good or bad? It’s a seed that plants itself deep within our hearts. Some children live in loving and emotionally fulfilling households, and grow up confident in their own goodness. Should we all be so lucky! For the rest of us, the seed calcifies. Its roots become entrenched within the abyss of our mind, its whispers forever lingering at the edge our subconscious.
It reminds me of a quote by G. K. Chesterton (you’ve probably heard a popular paraphrased version of it before, but I’ll post a longer version of it here!): “Fairy tales, then, are not responsible for producing in children fear […] fairy tales do not give the child the idea of the evil or the ugly; that is in the child already […] The baby has known the dragon intimately ever since he had an imagination. What the fairy tale provides for him is a St. George to kill the dragon.”
I’d argue that fairy tales give the child one more thing: the reassurance that they themselves are not the dragon. The Evil Creature™, I feel, serves an important role in assuaging our own fears of the evil that lurks within. The monster has only wickedness in its heart, but since we can see that there is at least some good inside ours, then we must not be a monster. If even virtuous people can fall victim to the evil temptress, then surely we too cannot be blamed. The seed of doubt is pacified.
While I think the trope can be a crutch, I am in no way saying that we should eliminate villains who are evil for the sake of being evil. Heck, the awful bastards are often the most fun! And yet, in recent years, it seems that writers are more and more hesitant to utilize these types of characters, specially for children’s narratives. Even the dark faeries on Neopets have gone through a de-evilification process as the years have gone by. But sympathetic villains and villains that feel justified in their actions serve a completely different role for readers. So removing the evil creature, without addressing why it was needed in the first place, is horribly misguided.
We don’t need to discard the evil from our stories any more than we should scapegoat it. Instead, we should focus on teaching people to not be so uncomfortable with their darkness that they choose to look away from it. We can only vanquish our inner villains by confronting them head on.
King Roo: I think it’s really important to recognize that romantic love is not better than other types of love!! My love for carbs, for example, is very strong and pure.
It's a pleasantly-gloomy day in the Haunted Woods, and Balthazar is out doing his very favorite thing: hunting faeries.
Hey, wait a minute... that one faerie looks a little too familiar. Didn't he catch her like a week ago? And another time not long before that?
There's something funny going on here...
I made this recipe with fake cream cheese. It was good!
I followed King Arthur Baking's recipe, but switched out half of the milk for homemade blackberry syrup.
To do this, I added a cup of blackberries to a pot with a little water and part of the sugar, muddling the mixture until it boiled for a couple minutes then let it cool.
I used oat milk, so be aware the citrus content can make the dairy curdle, so have all your ingredients ready to go when you add your wets and drys to your beaten cream cheese.
Weirdly Sad Photo of the Final Product
I forgot to reserve syrup for the top it. It could not save this late-night photo anyways.
Abigail: Valentine’s Day is coming soon!
Aristotle A. Avinroo: Ugh! A pointless holiday created to sell flowers and chocolate to saps!
Abigail, smugly: You say that, but I know you pig out on the discount candy afterwards.
AAA: S-so?
Abigail: Come on, there are worse themes than the idea of spreading extra love and friendship for a day.
AAA: I guess that’s true.
Abigail: So are you spending Valentine’s Day with anyone special?
AAA: Well, I guess I could celebrate by spending time with my One True Love in life...
[later...]
Abigail, watching her brother play video games: I shouldn’t be surprised, but you could at least play a dating sim to mark the occasion.
AAA: Don’t judge. My love is valid!
Summary: Master thief Uzarro robs The National Neopian Bank. She stakes out the location for eleven months, knocks out the president, blows up the safe door, and escapes through an underground tunnel. Somehow leaves no clues behind.
Notes:
The article is titled “Needs Art - Uzzaro” and all the images are broken. I can’t tell if it’s meant to be a joke (that Uzarro stole them) or if this is an omen for what awaits me digging through these
Also, the text alternates between using Uzarro, Uzzaro, and even Uzaroo
TIL the president of the The National Neopian Bank is called Mr. McKougra
Uzarro knows that everyone prefers the last stall in the bathroom
I love heist stories for the same reason I love solving puzzles. Watching intricate moving parts all falling into place perfectly tickles my brain. Are they often unrealistic? Yeah, but I am always willing to suspend my disbelief if the result is fun and engaging. So when I found this Neopedia article about a master thief feared all across Neopia, needless to say, I was excited.
Until I read it.
Uzarro is the best safe-cracker in Neopia, with an attention to detail so great that she has never left a clue behind. Her description paints an image of a clever, sophisticated thief, who can outsmart her adversaries at every move. The type of villain that is always three steps ahead. Imagine my surprise when Uzarro’s methods turned out to be the embodiment of brute forcing your way through a problem.
She spends eleven months gathering intel at the bank three times a week. That might seem a little excessive, sure, but worry not. She uncovers a piece of information so obscure it makes nearly a year of effort worth it: The boss arrives 20 minutes before the rest of the employees. That’s it. That’s what her whole plan hinges on. Bless her keen observational skills.
Next, is opening the vault. This falls right under the wheelhouse of a master safe-cracker, right? Surely now we’ll get to see her expertise in action, right? She uses bombs. Just bombs. She doesn’t even think to bring extra bombs, not even as a precaution. So, when she’s surprised by a second safe within the vault (a fact she failed to learn in her eleven months of preparation), she’s forced to attempt to crack the safe with no practice, no backup plan, and barely any time left. Where is the detail-oriented queen I was promised??
To her credit, she does manage to open the safe just in time to escape, bolting through a tunnel she dug underneath the bank. Suddenly, the eleven months of preparation make a lot more sense. She wasted all that time digging an freaking tunnel! Uzarro, I think there are more efficient ways to do this.
Every day it feels like there is less and less we can control about our lives or the world we live in. The feeling of powerlessness is increasingly overwhelming. We read stories about master thieves to watch someone beat the odds through impossible feats of planning and cunning. If I wanted to see a gal taking too long to come up with one simple plan, fumbling it regardless, and then having to fix things last minute in a panic, any day of my own life would have done.
One glance at this story and I am left with the impression that Uzarro owes her success to the incompetence of the Chia police force.
So I'm a little late to the tcg spoiling stuff but now that the void within deck is out I want to point out one card I don't think was in previews
The cards in previews/discord already spoiled Drakara but then there's this card
that's the sleeper constellation in the void aka The Darkest Faerie's constellation so that kind confirms she has some involvement which was already suspected but the fact she has no cards kinda makes it seem to me she might not be a big presence in the end and instead she will be like the master mind behind the scenes that will tease as a continuation/sequel plot or whatever
then there are these card, that were in previews, which I think have interesting have implication on how the plots going to go
For those who don't play Neopets, March 3rd was always "Cancelled Due to Lack of Interest", which has a long history that dates back to TNT needing to change the way the news dates worked a few years ago. Anyway, this week's big news was that they cancelled Cancelled Day. For the second time
krawk the petpet review? also why does it have its hand on hips for some of its artwork
(The reason they keep their hands on their hips is because they're fabulous. Anyway)
The Krawk petpet's gimmick of turning into a full-on Neopet when you take it to the right location is a really unique gameplay mechanic, and it more than justifies its existence. Visually it's not that interesting—it's just a cuter, watered-down regular Krawk with less personality—but it's not like I would expect it to be anything else given the context. The only thing I question is why the base green has a yellowish underbelly and green eyes instead of vice-versa, which would match the actual green Krawk.
Colours for Krawk petpets are weird because they (for the most part) just are simpler versions of Krawk colors, which makes logical sense. Therefore, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to critique them individually because it's really dependent on the Krawk Neopet colours. That said, I did include a few quick thoughts below.
Favorite Colours:
Plushie: Outside of being a good match for the plushie Krawk Neopet, the plushie Krawk petpet is also one of the only Krawks that was redrawn to not be in its default pose. I also think the changes to the eye and general anatomy make it much cuter.
Robot: The robot Krawk petpet is surprisingly detailed for such a small image, and the artist took the time to illustrate separate joints and add metallic highlights. The gray-and-red palette also looks nice. And if you think this doesn't look enough like the Neopet, never fear—it does, just without its casing (though I do wish the red accents were green so it would truly match).
Grey: Nothing crazy here, but this is one of the only other Krawk petpet colors that's been redrawn in a different pose. It's very cute, and it looks appropriately sad. Once again, good match for the Neopet colour as well.
Least Favorite Colour:
Faerie: First, I don't like the way it's looking at me. And more importantly, not only is this is bland recolor instead of a redraw, but it doesn't even match the faerie Krawk, which is pink and green with long hair, no antennae, and different wings. Having a completely different design for the petpet that then turns into something else when it becomes a Neopet is just plain confusing, and there's nothing really interesting about this design in isolation either.
this post is very funny but it reminded me that dear GOD i wish neopets had an actual well-maintained wiki that requires citations. because The Book of Ages doesn't cite anything and will state speculation as fact with no indication that that's the case.
The Book of Ages is unquestionably the best resource there is for neopets info! ...and it also claims that some Capriors can shapeshift into Neopets, because somebody at Jellyneo assumed that:
all of the Tamed Mini-Monster petpets possess the same shapeshifting ability as Scarlet from the Spooky Food Eating Contest
these monsters are a type of giant Caprior
But none of this is officially stated anywhere!!!! Aside from both species being blue, satyr-like, and having wings, they don't even look at all similar.
(thank you to @rattus-dirus for commiserating with me on discord about the lack of citations, and for being the one to point out the "capriors can shapeshift" claim and knowing where it came from. because i 100% would not have figured out that they were referring to the events of the Spooky Food Eating Contest on my own)
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