As if any of this made sense

I am Bri and Bri is pretty awesome. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

from today onward, even thinking about adult content while scrolling through tumblr will be punishable by death

                                                                                                         xoxo, staff

[itsjustaplantman-blog]

[lastsonlost]

upgrade 

[healingredshirt]

@nerd-with-curves

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

last night at the club my friends introduced me to these guys and the guys were like “we’re 22″ and I was like cool and then a minute later they were like “we’re kidding we’re 18″ and I was like 18!!!!! 18!!!!!!!! you’re as young as my youngest siblings now I have to PROTECT you and the one guy was like 6 ft+ and he was like “no you have that wrong, I need to protect you girls” and I was like “okay yeah physically but I have to protect you emotionally” and he was like “oh okay yeah”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

like 30 mins later he came back up to me like “I just realized it’s the same age difference between you and me as me and my baby sister and you’re right. you’re so right.”

[just-shower-thoughts]

Someone is going to be that guy that dies a few minutes before we discover immortality.

[nerd-with-curves]

Call me crazy but I have no interest in immortality

[dinothundersblog-deactivated201]

friend: i never knew u were gay

me: ya it wasnt relevant to your plot didnt want to seem like i was diverse for no reason :/

[digivolvin]

elizabeth swan and will turner are actually SO romance in the first movie and not enough people acknowledged this because the early 2000s were the age of the edgelords who only valued jack sparrow’s moral ambiguity and that is the TRUTH

[digivolvin]

the part where she’s like “how many times do i have to tell you to call me elizabeth” and he shyly says “once more, miss swann” and once she walks away he gazes adoringly after her and whispers “elizabeth” to himself like he’s unworthy of it

[digivolvin]

then when he’s patching up the cut on her hand and she flinches and he says “i know, blacksmith’s hands… they’re rough” because he thinks that’s what’s bothering her HE KNOWS HE’S NOT WORTHY OF HER!!! THAT’S THE PINING I’M TALKING ABOUT BINCH!!! I DON’T ACCEPT LESS!!!!

[digivolvin]

he has like 10 chances to confess his love to her but waits until he’s dressed like this to do it: 

my man knows 1) the importance of a good outfit when shooting your shot 2) how to ACCESSORIZE. take NOTES.

[thedevilsofficialblog]

That’s how I would dress if I was gonna confess my undying love to Kiera knightley

[incorrectqueereye]

Police Sirens: *wailing in the distance*

Karamo, who’s never done anything wrong in his life: Oh no, they’ve found me!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

clap your hands if you’re BISEXUAL and A LITTLE BIT OF A DUMBASS

[feministism]

[kirbyslegalguardian]

Y’all know free condoms is a result of gay activists who worked towards safer sex practices after the AIDS crisis right? Because if not it’s one google search away

[notsonoblen]

Consider: both are important and should be free

[bedcorpse]

Consider: both are important and should be free

[daily-showerthoughts]

November 12th, 2018: The most ambitious crossover event in history. The creator of the marvel universe meets the Creator of the universe.

[daisyjazzridley]

And he goes, “What are you?”     Which is fucking rude.

[libertybill]

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

I made Gary (my gecko) a tiny Tallis and yarmulke for Rosh Hashanah and he wished u all happy new year

[captainlordauditor]

I’M VERY PROUD OF HIM PLEASE TELL HIM I LOVE HIM

[sweetbr1ar]

aww he should hang out with my dog

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE RESPONSE TELL UR DOG THEYRE A GOOD BOY

[sweetbr1ar]

I’ll totally tell him! he is totally the best, here are two more photos from that joyous occasion. happy new year to you and gary!!

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

Broke: animals wearing Halloween costumes

Woke: animals wearing traditional Jewish clothing

[dogblessyou]

I heard you like nice Jewish dogs?

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

This post is the best thing that’s ever happened to me

[geek-scientist]

jane the virgin: portraying a bisexual man in a healthy relationship and slaying biphobes since 2017

[newrucas]

It’s really interesting what she says “I can’t give you what a man can.” A lot of gay men avoid relationships with bi men because they worry that they can’t provide what a woman can. People, gay or straight, think that for a bi person the grass is always greener on the other side.

[lex-evetta]

Straight men and lesbians have said the same. It’s insecurity rooted in the notion that bi people have all the options constantly at their fingertips AND are insatiable. We don’t choose a team, we choose a person. A failure to understand this mostly boils down to people not believing bisexuality is real.

[catastrofe]

[mainflopgirl]

[shefromhouston]

Men’s hygiene is JUST as important as women.

Please try not to stink.

Please don’t use AXE.

Please drink water and eat plenty fruits so you can also taste as good as your partner.

Please Exfoliate both your face AND body.

Please Wash, Deep Condition, AND Detangle!

Please try not use hair care products that say “Men” because they use the same fragrance as AXE which is harmful to both your skin and scalp. And IT STINKS.

ITS OKAY TO SMELL LIKE FRUITS. SHEA BUTTER OR FLOWERS. SMELL HAS NO DAMN GENDER.

There are ‘masculine’🙄 natural scents also; Eucalyptus, Sandalwood, Sage, Peppermint, etc.

MOISTURIZE EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY. ESPECIALLY YOUR LIPS.

Point is….take care of yourself…damn.

[americahatesblackpeople]

Toxic/hyper masculinity is so bad men can’t even take care of themselves without it being considered “gay” or frowned upon in some form of fashion smh

[shefromhouston]

Exactly! It should be something we should all encourage and not frown up when we see a man doing a facial or getting a pedicure. It’s perfectly normal to want your outside to reflect the inside.

[understandingsexistfemales]

This is an example of a sexist utterance by a female

Brought to you exclusively by understandingsexistfemales.tumblr.com

[kimreesesdaughter]

Hi, this is Hershey reporting live from WhatTheFuck5 studios. Here with your local news. Today at 5, trifling ass man proclaims sexism cause he’s being advised to practice hygiene such as showering and eating a proper diet. Local funk says he’s being told what to do and will not abide. Don’t suck his dick cause it’s probably not clean. More at 6.

[lokillia]

reblogging again for kimreesesdaughter’s witty and hilarious comment

[idealcat-deactivated20181202]

[scottbaiowulf-deactivated201805]

Tumblr keeps suggesting this post and I’m going to reblog it every time I see it