What are we except small lizards in meat suits

Im 21+ am just... am just an orca.... bleeehh :p

[xxxsarihartxxx]

[butchfagminotaur]

the sims will never not be one of the funniest games on the planet

[did-you-know]

The oldest living tree ever found was a pine named “Prometheus.” It had been alive since before the Egyptian pyramids were built. Some guy cut it down in 1964. Source

[aclockworknick]

he was actually a forestry graduate student who was doing research on bristlecone pines (Pinus langaevea) and got his increment borer stuck in the tree. this tool costs almost $800, so he asked the forest service if he could cut down the tree to recover the tool. after cutting it down, it became apparent that the tree was actually the oldest living organism. ever. (around 8,000 years old). so, not just some asshole. the guy feels extremely guilty and has even broken down in tears during an interview about the accident

[wellshitcaitlin]

OH MY GOD SO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY

So after the grad student cut down the tree and discovered it was the oldest tree in the world he quit studying forestry and went to study salt flats (can’t cut down the oldest trees in the world on salt flats no siree none of that happening) and he was being interviewed about his research, but in the middle of the interview the reporter just stops and says “wait aren’t the guy that…”

And he just takes off running. Literally. Turns around and runs across the salt flats away from the interview and I feel so bad for him but I can’t help but start crying I’m laughing so hard about it imagine a guy high tailing it across salt flats away from a dude with a recorder

[thoughtsofadame]

its so different to know it was an accident and that NO ONE was aware until after. its not like this was one ignorant guy cutting down a fucking relic.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I have terrible news about literally all human infrastructure

[tockthewatchdog]

this scientology hq as real life roguelike is hilarious

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[cookies-super-secret-blog]

great things are happening

[peachnix]

new product for angels who want to lose their wings

[sabertoothwalrus]

fixed it

[clowndensation]

he has 2 electrons... who? the boy reading this...

[shocked--kwarrtz]

[adamtotscomix]

[redstonedust]

the usual fearmongering around detransition and testosterone feels pretty unserious when you already know and love trans and intersex women. like sure maybe you will regret it, but so what? worst case scenario you end up as a woman who has experienced the effects of having elevated testosterone in her system. there are a lot of those. you will survive.

[honeyrolls]

Violet Butterfly Pea Tea Soda / Dream Ball Parfait

[homunculus-argument]

I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.

The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.

[terriwriting]

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

[copperbadge]

When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.

I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.

After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.

[pennaraptor]

something silly about his face i cant put my finger on. maybe huge eye and very flat rose comb

[all-mammal-creechur]

Proboscis Bat Rhynchonycteris naso

It is found from southern Mexico to Belize, Peru, Venezuela, Bolivia and Brazil, as well as in Trinidad. The bats are nocturnal, sleeping during the day in an unusual formation: most of them line up, one after another, on a branch or wooden beam, nose to tail, in a straight row.

In the photo, the two bats on the lower left are carrying young.

img source

[all-mammal-creechur]

I really love how dedicated these guys are to queuing.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

I really do wish meeting new people when you're autistic didn't result in the person viewing you as secretly evil for at least a month before realizing you just act slightly different than others without ulterior motive. I get that people meet a lot of assholes in life but omg. I didn't do anything

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Need to wear a shirt that says this

[mossworm]

please stop entering my home and getting lost inside

[nuka-rockit]

enchanted by his whimsical aura

[pangur-and-grim]

I'm not......worried, but I am anticipating a reaction. because if the double amputation scene in Sir Cameron was too much for some people, then chapter 5 of The Ignoble Invasion of Prince Proculo is definitely going to be a mass filtering event. that's when the cannibal incest spiders get introduced, and they uh.....do some stuff that you can probably guess at based on what I call them.

[pangur-and-grim]

there's simply no way that could happen.

[pangur-and-grim]

The Ignoble Invasion of Prince Proculo is about an alien brain slug who gets hit by a truck midway through overtaking the Canadian government. he is isekaid into a fantasy land and tasked with killing the demon king. fairly straight forward, you’d think, except that the castle he wakes up in has something surprising chained up in its pantry: a spider centaur with girthy pedipalps and a glistening carapace. instantly, the slug is smitten! and following that is OPEN DOOR EXTREMELY EXPLICIT anal penetration.

so, it’s basically your average romantasy :)

[pangur-and-grim]