Officially Here to fuck things up

Hello, I am the one who will push you to do (that fucked up thing).

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

You haven’t really fully lived in the midwest until you’ve experienced the chaos and odd comfort of playing in a pit filled with an incomprehensible amount of corn

This isn’t some faux-gothic shitpost I’m being 100% serious corn pools are the best

[pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird]

They’re the best and 100% real and 100% not a plot for the corn to consume your children

[hoots-the-owl]

@corn-chan

[hotvampireadjacent]

this is dangerous… it’s easy to succumb to the grain

[sixpenceee]

Coloring water in space. (Source)

[popeyesfromny]

Way fucking cool

[unbotheredmuse]

[mstnhoney]

For those in the path, seems like timely advice. Be safe above all!

[auroradragon1]

@instructor144 and anyone else in the path of this storm! 

[instructor144]

BOOST. ☝️☝️☝️

[awakandangoddess]

This

gotta be the equivalent to this

[misomimii]

Same energy

[audreysmusings-deactivated20251]

[ithelpstodream]

[theotheryongbok]

My man Jesus

[funnysowhatever2-deactivated201]

What story is that?

[ffermented-salmonella-deactivat]

Matthew 18:9

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

[beachfox-deactivated20181218]

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

[dinosaurrainbowstarfish]

He goes on for like several examples too.

“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”

“Cut it off.”

“wut”

“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”

“wut”

“What”

[corporationsarepeople]

“Did I fucking stutter?”

[redandpointy]

Canon Jesus is so much better than the fanon.

[teathattast]

aaaaAAAAAHHHHHH

[styro-sometimes]

noisy rock

[metadefumaca]

[thorodinson]

i love art 👏

[drferox]

Any idea how to teach a cat not to stand on my laptop keyboard? I'd think moving it when she does that would teach her that it's not a good place to stand, but noo.

I’ll tell you if I ever figure it out.

[pangur-and-grim]

pro-tip: kissing their tiny bastard heads does not, apparently, help. it may in fact encourage.

[srsfunny]

[danim4ux]

THE SHEET IS MADE OUT OF WOOD TOO

Wendell Castle, Ghost Clock. 1985

[hornline-deactivated20180116]

THAT IS MAHOGANY

[moistnoodles-blog]

I thought this was a joke until I read the description

[ungodlyobsessions]

WHAT HTE FCUK

[pukicho]

Hey 

[pukicho]

everyone’s bones are wet

[panseyiii-deactivated20180814]

why would you say this

[pukicho]

No one said hi back

[prokopetz]

If you’re trying to catch a housecat that’s gotten outside, don’t forget: they’re an ambush predator and you’re a persistence predator. You have several times more endurance than they do - use that to your advantage! Don’t run after them; that’s playing to the cat’s strengths, and vigorous pursuit may cause them to hide. Instead, follow them at a brisk walking pace until they get tired and need to have a lie-down, at which point you can simply pick them up and take them home.

[fsthhdwefg-deactivated20180515]

Ok but no shit this tactic is what allowed humans to survive pre-civilisation

[lowkey-revolutionary-raccoon]

Some mammoth: *chilling, eating grass, mammothing*

Cavedude: *power walks towards them*

Mammoth: oh sIHT

[krwzprtt]

cat : haha you can’t outrun me

human:

[spaceyjules-deactivated20180305]

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

[spaceyjules-deactivated20180305]

Isn’t it disgusting that 23 people just unfollowed me

[clarknokent]

Unfollow me too

[gothhabiba]

this goes double if you call paedophilia a disability. unfollow me twice

[closet-keys]

and if you call pedophilia an “orientation” or in any way compare it to being LGBP+ you can unfollow, delete your blog, and set yourself on fire. 

[peachypastel]

I just lost 50 followers.. bye

[katiemcgrxth]

clearing out the trash

[bway-grimes]

GO ON AND S M A S H THAT UNFOLLOW BUTTON

[moonedknights]

BUHBYE U McNASTIES

[bogleech]

I’ve seen this circulating forever and genuinely thought “no way do I have any of them following me” until this week when it turned out I had all these fuckin “MAP” (pedophile) followers sad to find out I’m an “anti” (normal person) Please leave and also please get guinea worm.

[flerpdederp]

GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY BLOG

[bunchofdoodlesinspace]

I reblogged something similar to this a while ago but again:

if you support pedophilia,

kindly get the fuck off of my blog.

Thanks.

[princet-ofthe-rivers]

I reblog these regularly.

STAY OFF MY BLOOOOOOG

[littlebabiebear]

Shoo fly, don’t bother me👋🏾

[snatch-daddy]

Go away or I’ll run you over. Fucking pedo scum

[bigredm38]

Time for some purging.

[necronom-i-nom]

Love at First Sight

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

girl this duck black as hell

[sobeitjay2]

she got 4c hair too wow

[aaliyah-apollonia-deactivated20]

“girl this duck black as hell” is my favorite comment ever 

[naidje-deactivated]

This is from the show ‘Alfred J Kwak’. The girl is called Winnie (named after Winnie Mandela) and in the show she’s an immigrant from ‘Homeland’ where black ducks are violently oppressed by colonist white geese. When she’s introduced her and her family are refugees trying to find asylum in ‘Great Waterland’, but face opposition from the racist government.

This show didn’t fuck around.

Here she is meeting 'Michael Duckson’.

[babyanimalgifs]

[derpycats]

My cat Nula, mid mighty yawn.