I don't know

[delicatefalice]

feel like shit just want them back

[marisatomay]

you know when you’re a child and you’re like what’s the big deal what’s so wrong with leaving dirty dishes in the sink and then you’re an adult and the presence of dirty dishes that the other adults in the dwelling have left in the sink makes you homicidal

[internet-schvitzinq]

[benditlikekorra]

[dr-falcon-fox-and-coyote]

Charmander is so happy I love him.

[glitter-dc]

commission

[just-shower-thoughts]

Above average people are the least understood. They’re too smart for the average to be understood but too dumb for the intellectuals to bother listening to.

[cansofpecans]

Bruce Wayne: Nightwing, I need to talk to you.

Dick Grayson: Oooh, someone's in trooouble!

Dick Grayson: It's me.

Dick Grayson: I don't know why I said that.

[chaoticautie]

me: *saying "WHAT?" seven times to someone giving me coherent face-to-face verbal directions*

also me: *hears a faint noise and randomly lifts head like a deer* hey did u guys hear that??? wtf how could you not hear it-

[nevergonnastopdreaming]

THEY HAVE A GREEN ONE!!!!! The Lunch Spot’s Jello Cream Cheese Square is better than Liliha’s and Foodland’s. #jellocreamcheesesquare https://www.instagram.com/p/CP9RpasjivFQmKfmTKm4um1bmkH-39Dkf2PETg0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[nevergonnastopdreaming]

I never post.....but jello cream cheese square is worth it. #jellocreamcheesesquare https://www.instagram.com/p/CP6sDbCjo_STGzlTBWjeM7c1_Ji72xvU28HNh80/?utm_medium=tumblr

[glumshoe]

any kiss could be the kiss of death depending on the severity of your allergies and what your kissing partner has been eating

[inkedintothepaper]

Or if they have a knife for a tounge

[glumshoe]

yeah. or if they have a knife for a tongue.

[lanadelreyquasa]

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

[kaibas-paragraphical-mind]

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

[who-the-f-ck]

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

[shitsuren-chama]

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid

taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 

every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again

and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.

[elvenrainbow]

[bogleech]

I don’t see how this is much of a downside

When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

[revereche-deactivated20140508]

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

[perpetualcombustioninstruct-blog]

That’s great but have you considered

~cosplay

~Halloween costumes

~acting

~cosplay

~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces

~cosplay

~cosplay

~COSPLAY

[solsolecito]

imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry”

[brightlotusmoon]

“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”

“Don’t antagonize the fae.”

“I AM the fae, Susan.”

[aqueerkettleofish]

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?” “We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.”

[frolicking-cat]

Iconic post

[themoss-deactivated20210919]

LEMME BE A DRAGON I DONT CARE IF YOU KNOW ITS ME

I’ve seriously only seen screenshots of this post before though

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

This is legendary

[ghalind]

“I AM HERE FOR YOUR SOULS”

“George, did you forget your coffee?”

[this-account-is-a-mistake]

ok but like the only difference here is if you dont press it you cant shapeshift. theres no loss in pressing it

[soraitmnt]

Look I can’t shapeshift now, at least after I’ll be able to shapeshift

[letsstartafamilywellinvitewelove]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[just-shower-thoughts]

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

[blogtitletaken]

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

[castiel--for--king]

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

consider the coconut

[bemusedlybespectacled]

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

[kascaban]

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

[heartgemsona]

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

[baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

This post is a journey

[virtuous-thing]

1 Reblog = 1 Respect

[dovewithscales]

I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.

[eldbitch-horror]

Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!

Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous

[dovewithscales]

Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.

[hyratel]

I MEAN where’s the lie

[dovewithscales]

Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.

[giada-luna]

Reblogging for that last exchange.

[hugintheraven]

@shanastoryteller

[nevergenders-moved]

remember that point in time when dropping your phone didn’t break it but instead the back of it fell off and the battery fell out and you just had to put it back on

[thorodinsson]

the head tilt™️

[mandalores]

[ghostpainters]

The invasion of Jason’s kitchen take II: Dick and Barbara brought Gin with them. They maintain that it wasn’t a bribe, but Jason knows better, not that he’s complaining. Tim claimed the counter early on in the night and Jason gave up on trying to move him. With Tim comfortable on the counter, the whole party just sort of stayed in the kitchen until Dick sat down on the floor with a whole bottle of Gin and a sharing size pack of skittles. He all but passed out on Jason’s shoulder not a hour later. Jason, the little fool, tried to keep up with Babs. But even though she keeps worse hours than Batman, Barbara can and will drink the boys under the table. She thinks it’s funny that Alfred thinks she’s a good influence. 

Barbara is a night owl. Tim is too done to stand but too introverted for cuddles. Dick is “just resting my eyes.” And Jason has a collection of Shakespeare shirts.

Tag yourself: I’m Tim