Cross-Dimensional @nevermoreraven1 - Tumblr Blog

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

simplyghosting

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

thememedaddy

catasters

rtfics

sound on

Hercule Poirot and Inspector Japp discuss the details of another case.

papayafromtv

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 72 (masterpost here)

*faint shuffling noises*

Damian: ...like this?

Faint male voice: you gotta flick your wrist a little more,

Damian: oh- like that?

Faint male voice: there you go,

*connecting ping*

Tim: yo, Robin, you on your own tonight? i'm bored, come get waffles with me.

Damian: uh- sure, can Clarance come?

Tim: if that's the name of another mutant animal you're trying to tame, no.

Damian: no, the magician. say hi to Red Robin, Clarance.

Faint male voice: oh- uh, *awkward throat clear* um, hi, Red Robin.

Tim: wait wait wait- are you with that stage magician Hood has a vendetta against? the one he thinks is a meta because he can't figure out how he does his card tricks?

Damian: yeah. Hood has dragged him into our shit so much we've gotten to know each other.

*silence*

Tim: so you guys just... hang out? the two of you?

Damian: he's a decent guy when you get to know him. he volunteers at one of the animal shelters in the Narrows.

Tim: you've made friends with a civilian that Hood calls his 'greatest enemy'?

Damian, tired: Hood has about twelve civilian 'greatest enemies'. Clarance is fine, Hood just can't stand the fact that he has honour and wont snitch on how he does his tricks.

Faint male voice: yeah- i really don't understand why he keeps buying tickets to my shows if he knows he doesn't like the magic. like, that's the whole point...

Damian, without missing a beat: his version of self harm.

Tim: *abrupt snort*

Faint male voice: well he keeps tying me up and talking about needing to 'register me' with some sort of bat-laptop or something. maybe if you just register me like he says, then he'll feel better about me?

Tim, amused: oh my god, no, why is this man actually really sweet?

Damian: no, Clarance, Hood makes that up. we don't 'register' metas unless they're active rogues terrorising the city on a monthly basis. he just likes to spout bullshit when he's annoyed.

Faint male voice: oh...

Damian: worry not, he will get over himself in a few months when somebody else pisses him off and he makes enemies with them. for now, would you like to join me and Red Robin for waffles?

Faint male voice: uh... i mean, if Red Robin is ok with it then i guess i am kinda hungry?

Tim: i'll meet you at the usual place. the fuck do you guys even do when you hang out together?

Damian: oh, i'm making him teach me his card tricks so i can use them on Hood whenever he pisses me off.

*silence*

Tim, choking up: god- man, Robin, i fucking love you.

Damian: and that's why you're paying for the waffles.