Almost four years have passed since I survived one of the biggest storms of my life. Let me tell you this chapter of my story.
In February 2022, I stopped seeking consultation with my doctor and stopped taking my medications as well which greatly affected my mental wellbeing. I had manic episodes then and my Mom decided to have me admitted to a medical facility. According to my current doctor now who’s my doctor since 2020 that if I sought consult with her then, there would be no need to get admitted in a medical facility. My doctor reached out to me then via email but since I was already in a manic state, I have cut off all communications with other people ~ text messages, FB messenger, WhatsApp, and email. I only communicated with my Mom.
On March 28th, 2022, I was brought to a private medical facility against my will. I stayed there for two months. At first, while my doctor there was stabilizing my mental health, I kept to myself. I barely interacted with other patients. There were even instances wherein I would pack my things and go down to the first floor telling the nurses that I want to leave. Of course, that didn’t happen. One of my fellow patients called me “Daniella Mondragon” from the tv series “Kadenang Ginto”. Lol!
During the succeeding weeks, I was already mingling with my fellow patients, more kind to the nurses and staff (my usual self), and thinking positively that I will get discharged within a month. However, after assessment of my doctor then after staying there for a month, I will have to stay for another month. This didn’t disappoint me though as some of the patients there have stayed for months or even years.
Having a medical background, I quite understood the mental illnesses of majority of the patients. I can sometimes assess what their illnesses are. I can empathize to them as I also have a mental illness. People like us don’t need your pity. We require your understanding, empathy, love, and the feeling that you care for us. I know how to empathize more than other people can.
A few days before I got discharged, I learned a life changing moment for me. I cried for days and my doctor even didn’t want to discharge me yet because of that. I was unstable again. My world crumbled and I told my doctor, you promised me that you would discharge me in two days. I couldn’t sleep then. On the day that I was going to be discharged, I went to the nurses’ station and I saw my sling bag on top of the desk. I cried and I told the nurse that they were tears of joy ~ that I’m finally going to be free again.
I went home to an empty house ~ only our housekeeper was with me. I lived in my parents’ home alone for a year before they had their vacation in January 2023.
My Mom assisted me in applying for my tourist visa and luckily and most probably it’s one of God’s plans for me, my tourist visa got approved right after my biometrics. I arrived here on May 5th, 2023.
I’ve been here in what I consider my home for almost three years now. I love it here as I’m surrounded by the people who love me unconditionally. I am home.
I just had a virtual consultation with my doctor last Saturday, and from her assessment, I am okay even though my Mom thinks I’m not. I will see her again in three months. She knows when I’m not my usual self when I’m not chatty.
No regrets though that I got admitted in a medical facility. It changed me. It changed my outlook in life. It’s one of the lessons I’ve learned in life. Like what I have always said, there will always be roadblocks in this life and what matters most is that you stand back up stronger and you become a better version of yourself.
Never ever forget to pray as God will always guide you along the way.
I will always be gifted and blessed.
